How we interpret our lives matters. The stories we tell ourselves hold the power to shape the future. Dedicated to partners of humans in active recovery from CPTSD, this episode is all about setting a powerful context for you to align to as your relationship unfolds. Our conversation opens with insights from Tanner and Matt’s story and touches on predictors of future divorce early in relationships. We explore what it truly means to address, revise, and rewrite the story before considering what it might look like to drop it, draw a line in the sand, and create a liminal space within your relationship. Relationships are a training ground for evolution and healing, particularly for those with betrayals in the attachment context of their childhoods. This episode lays the foundation to help you move forward as you navigate the present with compassion and humility. Tune in to hear more today!
Key Points From This Episode:
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Who this episode is for: those in partnership with folks in active recovery from CPTSD.
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Why you should go back and listen to the first episode of this season.
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Revising the story and dropping the story as illustrated by Matt and Tanner’s experience.
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How the story developed into ‘Trauma didn’t win.’
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Predicting the future divorce of a couple by asking them to tell you the story of their relationship.
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How important interpretation, story, and context are.
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What it means to revise the story of your relationship.
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Homework for this episode: talking about all the stories you have told about your relationship.
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Honoring the training ground that a relationship is for two humans healing difficult things.
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The opportunity to evolve that emerges from relationships.
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Lowering the stakes without lowering the standards.
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Coming into the frequency of love and forgiveness.
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What it truly means to embrace evolution, grace, redemption, compassion, and humility.
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Understanding that this is messy, hard work.
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The Protective Part strategy of holding onto a story and understanding that partners are powerless to release old evidence.
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Why maturity and wisdom are required to navigate the present.
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What is at risk of happening if a line is not drawn in the sand to create a liminal space between you.
Quotes:
“[A relationship] is a training ground in the relational field for every human, but particularly for humans that have betrayals in the attachment context of their childhood.” — Tanner Wallace [10:49]
“There is no other training ground than CPTSD and the relational field to tap into those codes.” — Tanner Wallace [11:19]
“When I retreat and get on my own team, and see you as the enemy, I’ve separated from love.” — Tanner Wallace [12:56]
“The more flexible and adaptable and open we are to revisions, to evolution, to learning, the better off we all are.” — Tanner Wallace [13:56]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
A Season For Partners of Humans Recovering from CPTSD
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