9: Are Your Relationship Patterns Sabotaging Your Love Life?

26-07-2024 • 47 mins

In this episode of the "I Come First" podcast, host Amie Barsky welcomes Emotional IQ expert Joshua Wenner. They dive into the intricacies of emotional regulation, exploring how high amounts of stress impacts our brain and behavior. Joshua shares his journey from grief and trauma work to helping high achievers heal their relationships. The conversation covers codependency, attachment styles, and societal expectations that hinder self-care.

Joshua offers practical advice on daily regulation practices and the importance of self-care for maintaining healthy relationships. Tune in for insights on transforming your life and love story through emotional awareness and self-prioritization.

What We Explored This Episode

0:00 Daily Emotional Regulation Framework

13:35 Dynamics of Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles in Relationships

21:52 Nervous System Responses in Relationships

27:03 Mental Frameworks for Moving from Codependency to Independence

29:04 Societal Expectations and Women's Self-Prioritization

30:05 Men's Self-Care and Nurturing Practices

35:02 Embracing Contraction and Expansion in Personal Growth

36:03 Joshua's Relationship Dynamics and Personal Growth

39:12 Embracing Duality and Grief Work

41:09 Emotional Regulation Through Breathing

Memorable Quotes

"When you're high-stressed, you move into the back of your brain, which shuts off compassion, empathy, and rational thinking. Getting regulated moves you to the front of the brain, where you can consciously choose how to respond."

"In codependent dynamics, the anxious person leans in with controlling energy, while the avoidant person pulls away. This yo-yo pattern continues until both learn to regulate their nervous systems and address their wounds."

"Life involves a constant contraction and expansion. Embracing both joy and grief, excitement and frustration, allows us to navigate life's ebb and flow more effectively."