Meeting Strategist - Conversations on Leadership & Communication

Marcel van de Hoef

Executive coach Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about leadership and communication. Reflecting on their own unique experience, they share inspiring stories as well as the strategies, tactics and mindsets they rely on to make their daily interactions more productive and meaningful. read less
BusinessBusiness

Episodes

Ron Ashkenas on Coaching Effectiveness
Oct 20 2020
Ron Ashkenas on Coaching Effectiveness
“The purpose of an organization isn’t to make leaders feel good about themselves and make their subordinates feel like ‘gee, I’ve got a really nice leader, I like that person’. The purpose of an organization is to get something done.” Ron Ashkenas is a seasoned executive coach and boardroom advisor and the author or co-author of more than 100 articles and five books, including the ‘Harvard Business Review Leader’s Handbook’. You might have already listened to episode 20 in which Ron and I discuss the six practices that define great leaders and the challenges they are facing in today’s virtual and fast-moving environment. In this bonus episode, we discuss his recent HBR article ‘Executive Coaches, Your Job is to Deliver Business Results’ and how it clashes with conventional wisdom in coaching. In his article, Ron suggests turning the traditional coaching approach on its head: "Instead of focusing first on behaviors and hoping that they lead to results, start by trying to achieve some specific results, and see what behaviors are needed to get them." Although interesting for anyone in a leadership or management position, this conversation is more geared towards coaches and HR professionals. Feel free to forward this episode to anyone in your organization who might be interested. Visit the show notes for more information: http://www.meetingstrategist.org/ron-ashkenas To read Ron's HBR article, go to https://hbr.org/2020/08/executive-coaches-your-job-is-to-deliver-business-results
REPLAY - The Preparation Paradox: High-Stakes Meetings with David Rudolf, The Staircase
Aug 13 2020
REPLAY - The Preparation Paradox: High-Stakes Meetings with David Rudolf, The Staircase
Summer break! Time to replay one of my most downloaded episodes.  In 2018, I invited David Rudolf onto the show because of the communication excellence he demonstrated as Michael Peterson's attorney in 'The Staircase' on Netflix. But when listening to our conversation again nearly two years later, I'm equally impressed by David's personal leadership. He has a strong sense of purpose (fighting the Abuse of Power), he's very open about his strengths and weaknesses and how they impact others (sometimes it almost seems like he's citing a 'How to Handle Me' memo) and he's well tuned into his feelings, for example when selecting jurors or when deciding whether he has prepared enough to do well in court. In our conversation, David shares many great anecdotes from his more than 40 years as an attorney. He also talks about the strategies he uses during cross examination, why transparency is key in bad news conversations and how he's able to perform at his peak when the stakes couldn't be higher. For more detailed information about this episode, visit the original show notes on www.meetingstrategist.org/david-rudolf And if you enjoy listening to David Rudolf, he has his own podcast now. In 'Abuse of Power', David and co-host Sonya Pfeiffer spotlight cases of significant injustice, which often result in a wrongful prosecution or conviction. You can listen here: https://abuseofpowerpodcast.com
Finding Confidence in Conflict, with Kwame Christian - MS014
Dec 4 2019
Finding Confidence in Conflict, with Kwame Christian - MS014
Kwame Christian is an attorney, mediator and the director of the American Negotiation Institute, which organizes workshops to help people navigate difficult conversations at work and at home. Kwame is also the host of the top ranked negotiation podcast Negotiate Anything, and the author of ‘Nobody will play with me, using compassionate curiosity to find confidence in conflict’. In our conversation, Kwame explains why he chooses to live in a constant state of conflict. We also discuss why women need their own negotiation podcast, how preparation can help to find confidence in conflict and why slowing down is critical to success in difficult conversations. Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 0:49 – How Kwame turned from an outcast into a pleaser, avoiding conflict at all cost 14:20 –Prescriptive vs. descriptive stereotypes and how it affects women in negotiations 32:37 – Preparing for difficult conversations through visualization 49:45 – Kwame's Compassionate Curiosity framework 1:04:31 – The role of power in difficult conversations and negotiations For more information, key quotes and links related to this episode, please go to the full show notes at www.meetingstrategist.org/kwame-christian About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
The Gentle Art of Buy-In, with Simon Dowling - MS013
Nov 6 2019
The Gentle Art of Buy-In, with Simon Dowling - MS013
You can have the best idea in the world. But if you can’t get people to work with you, it will remain just that – a great idea. Simon Dowling is one of Australia’s leading thinkers on leadership, team dynamics and collaboration – and the author of ‘Work With Me: How to Get People to Buy Into Your Ideas’.  In our free-flowing conversation, Simon talks in great detail about the strategies, tactics and mindsets you need to get people to rally behind your ideas. We also discuss where most people including Simon (and me) go wrong, why you should embrace the black hole, how you can train your own buy-in muscle and what you can do to ensure that support for your ideas actually leads to change. Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 0:49 – Reflecting on the time when one of Simon’s clients found out about his double life  18:32 – The three questions to ask yourself when preparing for a (buy-in) conversation 22:27 – Influence by decree vs. influence through win me  37:56 – Negotiating with your kids 58:21 – The process of building buy-in: it starts with you 1:13:17 – Why you should shrink the change For more information and links related to this episode, please go to the full show notes at www.meetingstrategist.org/simon-dowling About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
The Science of Power and Empowerment, with Irene Sinteur - MS012
Oct 2 2019
The Science of Power and Empowerment, with Irene Sinteur - MS012
Irene Sinteur and I talk about the science of empowerment, the role of power in team collaboration, how to take up the issue of autonomy with your manager and why working in self-steering teams doesn’t come naturally to us. If you want actionable tips on how to create better meetings, check out the article that Irene and I released together with this episode www.meetingstrategist.org/sinteur Irene is an expert in empowerment, autonomy and power dynamics in organizations. In 2018, she completed her PhD research on the role of power in autonomous groups. Irene and I are both deeply inspired by the work of the late Dutch social psychologist Mauk Mulder, who was a great friend and mentor of mine. Mauk is also the person who brought us together. Years ago, he mentioned Irene’s research to me and suggested that I really had to get in touch with her. Only recently, I rediscovered the note with Irene’s name on it, reached out to her via LinkedIn - and here we are recording an episode and writing blogs together. Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 3:41 – How to help dominant and non-dominant team members listen to each other 16:38 – “The only way to empower people is to really give them power” 20:45 – Why working in autonomous teams doesn’t come naturally to us 34:43 – For leaders, autonomy begins with letting go 44:08 – Decision-making in autonomous teams: seeking consent rather than consensus 50:00 – How to handle unproductive power differences in autonomous teams For more information and links related to this episode, please go to the full show notes at www.meetingstrategist.org/irene-sinteur About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
How to Listen When Emotions Run High, with Hostage Negotiator Dan Oblinger - MS011
Sep 11 2019
How to Listen When Emotions Run High, with Hostage Negotiator Dan Oblinger - MS011
This episode provides essential listening guidance and tools for leaders and lovers - or anyone who regularly finds himself in emotionally charged situations. Dan Oblinger is a hostage negotiator, author of ‘Life or Death Listening’, a keynote speaker on leadership, listening and negotiations and a father of five adopted children. In this extra-long episode, Dan breaks down how leaders, parents and lovers can harness the power of emotions to build trust and transform their relationships. We also discuss Dan’s first encounter with a jumper, how to rewire your listening brain and why leaders should ask more scary questions. For more information and links related to this episode, please go to the full show notes at www.meetingstrategist.org/dan-oblinger Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 6:54 – Why power and authority won’t get you anywhere in hostage negotiations 18:56 – How to listen to 3-year-olds: the power of personal connection 28:21 – Creating a collaborative corporate culture 37:50 – How Dan is able to shift the focus to other people in high-stakes situations 50:47 – Prefacing and other ways to ask better questions 1:10:12 – How to negotiate with someone if you don’t even get past the reception desk About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
REPLAY - The Power to Walk Away: Influence in Sales Meetings with Will Marshall – 005
Aug 7 2019
REPLAY - The Power to Walk Away: Influence in Sales Meetings with Will Marshall – 005
My current series on power in meetings cannot be complete without this episode from Season 1. If you sell daily or occasionally and you want to feel more powerful, this is a must listen. Will Marshall is a self-employed management consultant and an executive and sales trainer at the International Institute for Humanization. In our conversation, he shares many anecdotes from his long career as a B2B sales rep and manager at corporations including Xerox.  Along the way, Will provides tips and strategies to ask better questions, gather valuable information about prospects from receptionists and use and interpret power in meetings. We also spent a lot of time talking about the mindset sales people need to deal with rejection, sell with confidence and walk away from multi-million-pound deals. Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 4:25 – Authorizers and influencers: using decision making units (DMUs) to determine where the power lies in organizations 18:33 – How to stay calm while dealing with dominant hostile personalities 33:30 –Why negotiators need to get into the other person’s head 44:29 – Always look for the positive: Del Boy, the salesman with natural ability 53:48 – The power I used when I convinced Will to join the podcast 1:02:00 – What external consultants should do when a client keeps hijacking project meetings For more detailed information about this episode and relevant links to people and resources, visit the show notes on www.meetingstrategist.org/will-marshall About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more productive and meaningful. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
How to Become More Conversationally Intelligent, with Bob Pointer - MS010
Jul 10 2019
How to Become More Conversationally Intelligent, with Bob Pointer - MS010
My guest on this episode is Bob Pointer. After his retirement as a detective at the City of London Police, Bob specialized in helping professionals increase their conversational intelligence and transform their relationships utilizing science-based techniques.  On this episode, Bob breaks down the rules of effective communication and how leaders and other professionals can apply them in their conversations. We also talk about the role of power in creating a productive conversational climate, how human relationships are built and why trust is the center of everything. For more information and links related to this episode, please go to the full show notes at www.meetingstrategist.org/bob-pointer Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 3:07 – The art of not asking questions 20:22 – I, Us and We conversations 30:58 – Why sales people should stop selling 39:53 – Winston Churchill and the contextuality of productive power 44:04 – The pseudo-science of body language experts on the internet 53:24 – Why leaders have to be mindful about their conversations About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
Creating a Safe Space for Young Professionals to Thrive, with Julia Hart - MS009
Jun 12 2019
Creating a Safe Space for Young Professionals to Thrive, with Julia Hart - MS009
One of the biggest challenges for modern-day leaders is to find and engage top talent. On this episode, executive coach and communication professional Julia Hart reflects on how leaders can neutralize their power and create a safe space for their youngest employees to speak up and give their best. Julia has worked in corporates including Philips, AkzoNobel and Liberty Global for more than 25 years. Last year she published her first book ‘Insider Secrets', which is packed with interesting insights and practical tips to help young professionals succeed in a corporate environment. This includes navigating office politics, dealing with your manager and, most importantly, dealing with yourself. For more information and links related to this episode, please go to the full show notes at www.meetingstrategist.org/julia-hart Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 6:31 – How young professionals, especially women, tend to give people a reason not to listen to them 20:30 – Using the meta mirror exercise to help young professionals look through someone else’s lenses and deal more effectively with power 26:31 – What leaders can do to take their power out of the room  32:46 – Julia reflecting on her experiences of powerplay in meetings and the long-term negative impact on an organization’s culture 41:17 – What coaches can do to neutralize their (expert) power   48:02 – How leaders can make the lives of young professionals easier  About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
How to Close the Power Gap in Meetings, with Marcel van de Hoef - MS008
Jun 12 2019
How to Close the Power Gap in Meetings, with Marcel van de Hoef - MS008
In the second series of the Meeting Strategist podcast, I will explore a topic that most leaders dread talking about: power in meetings and conversations. In the coming episodes, I will talk with leaders from the investment and business world as well as communication experts, coaches and other extraordinary professionals about their experiences with power. The central question: how can leaders use their power more productively, starting with their everyday interactions and meetings? Recently, workshop facilitator Myriam Hadnes invited me onto her podcast ‘Workshops Work’. We talked about how I became interested in power, how power differences impede our conversations and what leaders can do to close the gap. I’m pleased to share this conversation to kick off my new series about power. All credit goes to Myriam for initiating the interview, asking great questions and allowing me to share the recording on this show. If you want to learn more about Myriam’s podcast and her work, please go to the full show notes with relevant links at www.meetingstrategist.org/marcel-van-de-hoef Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 5:09 – How I met power theorist Mauk Mulder and what I learned from him 15:12 – It’s not just hierarchy: introducing different power relationships 27:43 – Using Dale Carnegie’s human relations principles to handle power more effectively 32:37 – Putting a wall in between: reflecting on my ‘leadership style’ as an editor-in-chief about 15 years ago 42:04 – How to balance brainstorming and decision-making, so meetings finish on time and people still feel heard About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org
Ted Seides on Interviewing Investors, His Bet with Buffett and How His Podcast Made Him a Better Listener – MS007
Jan 9 2019
Ted Seides on Interviewing Investors, His Bet with Buffett and How His Podcast Made Him a Better Listener – MS007
For the final episode of my pilot season, I return to the fascinating world of investing. My guest is Ted Seides. During his more than 25 years in finance, Ted has built unique expertise in the area of manager selection - picking investment funds that he believes can beat the market. He’s the author of “So You Want to Start a Hedge Fund”, and host of the Capital Allocators podcast, on which he interviews investors and others about the investment challenge and how to approach it. This episode provides inspiration for professionals who regularly find themselves assessing people and teams. You’ll learn why meetings are crucial in manager selection, how Ted prepares for these interviews and how his experience as a podcast host helps him as an investor. We also discuss Ted’s famous bet with Warren Buffett and what the Oracle of Omaha can teach us about communication. Here are some of the episode’s highlights with timestamps: 9:35 – How Ted got in touch with Warren Buffet 17:00 – Communication lessons from the Oracle of Omaha 26:33 – What you can’t get from a piece of paper: the crucial importance of face-to-face meetings 30:34 – What to look and listen for when assessing an investment team’s culture 34:20 – Why ‘we gotcha’ doesn’t work when you find out unfavorable information about someone 47:18 – How Ted prepares for a podcast interview As said, this is the last episode of my pilot season. Please subscribe to my newsletter on www.meetingstrategist.org to get notified as soon as this series continues. You can find the full show notes with relevant links at www.meetingstrategist.org/ted-seides About this podcast Welcome to Meeting Strategist. On this podcast, Marcel van de Hoef interviews professionals and thinkers from the worlds of investment, business and arts about their approach to business conversations. You'll hear inspiring stories about impactful meetings, while also learning about the strategies, tactics and mindsets these guests rely on to make meetings more constructive. Marcel is an Amsterdam-based communication advisor and trainer and the curator of the Meeting Strategist blog. His mission is to help senior professionals think more strategically about meetings, ask better questions, improve their listening skills and have more meaningful conversations in business and life. Learn more and stay up to date at meetingstrategist.org