Sunflowers & Red Feathers Blogcast

Sunflowers & Red Feathers

Sunflowers and Red Feathers is a grief support blog/podcast, aka "blogcast" for bereaved parents. Started by Kristina Cunningham and Steffanie Empey. We are friends walking together through grief after losing our sons within months of each other. We have named our blogcast Sunflowers and Red Feathers in memory of our sons, Mason (Sunflowers) and Joshua (Red Feathers). Together we have grieved and mourned the loss of our boys from the deepest and darkest moments all the way to a place where we can now see joy and hope again. We still have our bad days, as does anyone who is battling living through child loss, but we have found that our friendship and being able to confide in someone else who has the same fears, anger, and daily struggles can make our burden we carry that much lighter. We are bonded in friendship over our children and our lives have only thrived because of that friendship. We want to share with you the joy and the hope that we have. We know the struggles that come with child loss and aren't afraid to talk about them. We hope you are able to find peace in our words, comfort in our stories, and a renewed outlook on life because of our podcast. -Sunflowers & Red Feathers read less

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Interview Series: Denisa Bereavement Counselor @bereavement_counselling_uk

Interview Series: Denisa Bereavement Counselor @bereavement_counselling_uk

Denisa White is a professional Bereavement Counselor in the UK. She is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. After losing her grandmother in 2005 she quickly learned what devastating loss feels likes. She has since learned through her own journey that she has a passion for helping others on similar grief paths. She loves what she does and you can see it in her work. She gives tips for coping with grief on her IG page. We are excited to talk to her about grief journaling! IG: @bereavement_counselling_uk https://linktr.ee/denisa.counselling

Episodes

Interview Series: Denisa Bereavement Counselor @bereavement_counselling_uk

Interview Series: Denisa Bereavement Counselor @bereavement_counselling_uk

Denisa White is a professional Bereavement Counselor in the UK. She is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. After losing her grandmother in 2005 she quickly learned what devastating loss feels likes. She has since learned through her own journey that she has a passion for helping others on similar grief paths. She loves what she does and you can see it in her work. She gives tips for coping with grief on her IG page. We are excited to talk to her about grief journaling! IG: @bereavement_counselling_uk https://linktr.ee/denisa.counselling

Interview Series: Corchele with Because of Breklyn @because_of_breklyn

Interview Series: Corchele with Because of Breklyn @because_of_breklyn

Breklyn was born on 5/23/16 and lived 10 hours. She had no heartbeat and was brain dead. Corchele’s goal is to “shatter the stigma about pregnancy, infant and child loss. And also the stigma about grief.” Her non-profit, Because of Breklyn, provides support to others going through a similar loss.

Interview Series: Marigold Moms @marigold_moms

Interview Series: Marigold Moms @marigold_moms

As part of our interview series, our next guest is Marigold Moms. They started Marigold Moms after they both lost their daughters. These two sisters have both known loss. They both lost their little girls only a few years apart. Though their experiences are different, they were bonded even more by their grief. Together, they created a community of Loss Moms. They talk about their girls, their grief journey, and encourage other moms to share their stories as well. These two together are hilarious! You’ll get some good advice but also a good laugh. They are adorably encouraging and inspirational!

Evolution of Grief

Evolution of Grief

The fact of the matter is, we are different people than we once were. We have all changed since our children died. Some of us struggle with a deep depression, some have found hope and have joy in their lives. We are all on this grief journey together. Forever. And, if that journey is just starting, we believe that you need a foundation and a system to follow to help get out of that early grief. We get asked often, “How long will it hurt this bad?”, “Or when does the pain subside.” We know now that it will never go away completely, but having tools and outlets can sure help with the journey. Our grief changes us and we evolve right along with it.

Check-In & What's Happening With Sunflowers & Red Feathers

Check-In & What's Happening With Sunflowers & Red Feathers

Our Interview Series is slowing down and we are looking for more topics for our episodes. We recently just had both of our boys’ birthdays and are trying to find our “normal” again. Listen in for some exciting news!

Interview Series: Megan Hillukka @cultivatedfamily

Interview Series: Megan Hillukka @cultivatedfamily

Megan lost her daughter, Aria, in 2016. She learned during her own grief journey that allowing herself to grieve and letting her painful emotions in made her grief become lighter. She ran to physically get the energy out and remembers sobbing so hard it felt like her chest was ripping apart. She calls these experiences and trying times, doing “grief work.” She believes that doing the “grief work” - allowing and processing your grief - is the only way to find joy and happiness after child loss. Now she has her own podcast called, Grieving Moms Podcast. Megan has workshops that walk you through meditations, tapping, and other methods to process your grief. She also does one-on-one coaching and guidance. You definitely want to listen to this episode! Find her workshop at: www.stoptalkingstartfeeling.com Website & Podcast: www.meganhillukka.com/podcast

Interview Series: Alex Plaumann @judyswayinc About Sudden Loss

Interview Series: Alex Plaumann @judyswayinc About Sudden Loss

We want to talk about sudden and traumatic loss today. There is no reason to debate which type of loss is harder because there is no winning. Loss and grieving sucks no matter what when someone dies. The topic we want to discuss today is how a death that was expected may be different than that which was unexpected and why that could be. Alex Plaumann from Judy’s Way Incorporated is our guest. Alex and his brother started Judy’s Way Incorporated in honor of their mother. She died in a car accident in April 2020 after her second chemotherapy treatment for stage 3 lung cancer. Judy’s Way Inc is a non-profit that provides grief support and financial assistance for families who are dealing with funeral expenses, which for some, can be very unexpected and overwhelming in an already difficult time. Alex understands and has experienced this type of sudden loss and empathizes for those that are dealing with that and the need to plan and pay for a funerary costs.

Getting Personal: A Look Into Our Stories

Getting Personal: A Look Into Our Stories

There are many similarities in our grief stories and the ways our children died. That’s one of the reasons that Steffanie and I have bonded. We now have the same fear, the same anxiety. Water. Drowning. And, especially seeing children near swiftly moving water. It’s a trigger for us because of our trauma. We aren’t talking about triggers in this episode though, we want to talk about how the places in which our trauma happened were - are - beautiful places. They were our “happy places”. How can something so beautiful - the great outdoors, water, God’s wonderful works of art - bring so much pain and anxiety now? Will that ever change?

Interiew Series: Kendra Rinaldi @griefgratitudepodcast Interview

Interiew Series: Kendra Rinaldi @griefgratitudepodcast Interview

Kendra Rinaldi has her own podcast called Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between. She lost her 19-year-old sister when she was 21, suffered a miscarriage, and her mom died of Pancreatic cancer 4 years ago. She is all too familiar with grief. She started her podcast in March 2020 and has been interviewing people in all different walks of grief: loss of a spouse, friend, parent, and children. Her podcast “is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives and the gratitude that can come from growing through it.” She has been able to find gratitude in her own grief and wants to provide grievers with tools to help them through their grief as well as the knowledge that they aren’t alone on their journey.

Reading: The Invisible String & Discussion

Reading: The Invisible String & Discussion

#watchreadlisten as we read The Invisible String by Patrice Karst. This is a great children's book that helps us to remember that we can still be connected to our children and others who have died. “You don’t need to see the Invisible String. People who love each other are always connected by a very special String made of love.”

Interview Series: Stephanie Dawson @death_gurumn Interview

Interview Series: Stephanie Dawson @death_gurumn Interview

Every bereaved parent’s grief journey is different. We want to be able to share what others go through to help bereaved parents to know that what they are feeling is “right”. It’s ok to feel the way you do. No one grieves the same way. Stephanie lost a sibling at a young age, became a death doula, lost her son in January 2020, and now is certified in grief counseling. Hear about her grief journey and the advice she would give to those along their way.

Being a Mother To Children On Both Sides Of Heaven

Being a Mother To Children On Both Sides Of Heaven

As young moms with school-aged children and younger, we are torn between parenting and loving those who are here on Earth and wishing we could parent our children who are no longer here. When you have children in Heaven, your heart aches in their absence. We will forever feel like a piece of us is missing. Every day is a constant battle of the wills as we long for the one not with us yet wholeheartedly love our other children equally. We see our missed children in their siblings’ faces, a familiar laughter echoing off the walls that were once theirs, and are constantly bombarded with memories of the same joyful play. Yes, we love our children here on this side of Heaven, but oh how we wish we could be in both places sometimes.

Interview Series: Sierra Bizzell @sierrathebbdoula Interview

Interview Series: Sierra Bizzell @sierrathebbdoula Interview

We had the privilege of being on Sierra Bizzell's from Beautiful Beginnings' podcast, Tea Time Talks with Sierra. Sierra is a fertility coach and doula. Unfortunately, there are times when she has to help bereaved parents through difficult times such as miscarriage and infant loss. We were honored that Sierra interviewed us and allowed us to use her episode on our podcast. In our interview, we talk about who we are and why we started Sunflowers & Red Feathers. #watchreadlisten to how our blogcast has changed us as people and the advice we give to those on their own personal grief journey.

Reading: My Yellow Balloon & Discussion

Reading: My Yellow Balloon & Discussion

My Yellow Balloon written by Tiffany Papageorge Illustrated by Erwin Madrid Published by Minoan Moon Publishing This children’s book was beautifully written for children who are grieving. Kristina & Steffanie read the book and discuss how even adults can relate to the overwhelming sadness and daily struggles that Joey encounters after he loses his yellow balloon. #watchreadlisten to learn how Joey’s grief changes over time as he walks through his grief journey to a place where he finds both hope and joy.

Living the Taboo Life

Living the Taboo Life

The subject of death often is not something you generally bring up with just anyone, but most of the time when you do, it’s something other people can empathize with - the loss of a grandparent, a pet, or even to a tragedy such as cancer or other terminal illness. However, as a bereaved parent, not many people you come across on a daily basis can empathize with our struggle. Bringing up the fact that our child died is a taboo topic.

Let's Get Real: We're Really Not Ok - Part 2 Physical Health

Let's Get Real: We're Really Not Ok - Part 2 Physical Health

Some days we are just talking - having a conversation about our boys and how are really coping and getting through our days. That’s when our next topic pops up. It’s usually something that we are currently dealing with that brings something to the surface that we know you can all relate to. We still struggle on a daily basis. We are just human and our grief is just as raw as yours is. This is us - just talking about how our grief affects our physical health.

Let’s Get Real: We’re Really Not Ok - Part 1 Mental Health

Let’s Get Real: We’re Really Not Ok - Part 1 Mental Health

Some days we are just talking - having a conversation about our boys and how are really coping and getting through our days. That’s when our next topic pops up. It’s usually something that we are currently dealing with that brings something to the surface that we know you can all relate to. We still struggle on a daily basis. We are just human and our grief is just as raw as yours is. This is us - just talking about how our grief affects our mental health.

The Grief Timeline

The Grief Timeline

In this episode of Sunflowers & Red Feathers, we discussed a question from our weekly Q&A that we felt needed more than a simple two-sentence answer. "When will this pain in my heart soften?" The answer is that it will soften but not on any scientific timeline. The simple answer is that there is no timeline for grief, nor should there be an expected one. Nothing about child loss is normal and "grieving" the way we are taught in school to grieve is a very different ballgame when it's grief from child loss. The reality is that the pain will ease with time but you never truly move on after losing your child. You become a different person. There is hope though and if you look for joy, you will find it! That's what we hope to bring to you! Until next week,

Finding Your New Tribe

Finding Your New Tribe

When grief is so fresh, it is consuming. Everything about your life has been put on hold. Your relationships are no exception. Friends don’t understand why aren’t the same person. Family doesn’t get why you don’t want to show up to holiday gatherings or parties anymore. However, you don’t have to be alone in your grief. We have found that there is no greater bond than the one you will find with other bereaved parents. Your hearts and ours know the same overwhelming loss and how heavy that burden is to carry throughout life. Allow us to help you to carry your burden. Use these resources to help you find your tribe. And, of course, you are welcome to join ours.

Ways to Honor Your Child

Ways to Honor Your Child

For most parents, finding ways to remember and honor your child is incredibly important to you. Your biggest fear could be that your child will be forgotten and it will be completely up to you to keep their memory alive. Naturally, you do what you can and come up with ways that keep their memory alive for you. Here is a list of ideas that may be helpful for you if you are new to this journey or even if you are a friend supporting a parent on their journey.