The Twohundredpercent Podcast emerges from its hidey hole this week with a lime and a coconut, just in time to discuss the fizzing excitement of the 4th round of the FA Cup. Unhappiness is the order of the day at Manchester United, where only drastic measures now seem likely to be able to save their season. Your regular correspondents are on hand to pontificate on just how radical these need to be. There's also a distinct side of aggro as Edward and Ian look back at the 200% Derby between Spurs and Brighton, from which only one of your heroes could emerge with a light heart.In what is a surprisingly concise edition by our rambling standards, we nevertheless also disavow anyone who is still holding onto the notion that Boreham Wood being FA Cup heroes is a Good Thing, come down hard on football's growing problem with tribalism and partisanship, and helpfully decide once and for all the identity of the biggest fish in the East Midlands football pond.Comments and complaints as ever to @twoht or @200percentpod on Twitter, or you can email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are joined for a second time by Evertonian Sam Whyte (in addition to our now regular guest host, the fire alarm in Ian's house) to pick through the rubble of another week of top line soccer, including the departure of the Everton boss. Rafa Benitez wasn't backed to the hilt with transfer funds at Everton but he made his presence felt in a variety of other no doubt long-lasting ways. Sam ably helps us sift through each of these, as well as revealing where Anthony Gordon gets his hair cut. Ian, meanwhile, is finally a convert to Team Rooney as your heroes try to identify some kind of strategy for Everton going forwards (which is perhaps more than their ownership have ever done). Also up for discussion this week is Arsenal's successful appeal to have their match with Spurs postponed due to their apparent lack of players. With Covid now reaching endemic levels in the super, soaraway, smashing UK, is professional football now at risk of teams gaming the system for their own advantage? As with everything Arsenal-themed on the Twohundredpercent Podcast, your correspondents give them a fair and considered hearing. Are football players now wrapped in cotton wool? And what is the solution to getting games played in real cases of mass absenteeism? Predictably, Edward has a solution. Make of that what you will. All this plus: footballers getting fat and the extraordinarily evergreen Barry Hayles. You can find Sam Whyte on Twitter (@samwhyte) and we recommend that you do. We are also there (@twoht/@200percentpod) or you can email us with thoughts and feelings: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2022's first Twohundredpercent Podcast sees your heroes reflecting on a bumper week of FA Cup 3rd round upsets. Ian is somewhat concerned both for Nuno Tavares' long term career at Arsenal and also by the continual merry-go-round of blind hope and incompetence that has characterised Newcastle United's disappointing season. Meanwhile, Edward busily picks out the best goal of the round, from lowly Kidderminster Harriers' shock win against Championship Reading. But where is Reading? We look into it and pull out an unlikely conclusion. If all this excitement isn't enough, we are joined by the Twohundredpercent Robot to make the official draw for the 5th Round of the competition, a process that was far less straightforward than either we thought it would be and far less easy than The Sound of Football Podcast makes it appear. Nevertheless, the ties are all locked in, so prove Ian wrong and book your tickets early. If you'd like to get in touch with us, you can find us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or you could even email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week's festive extravaganza Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are joined by podcasting stalwart and renowned Metal fan Chris Nee to look ahead to another scintillating year of football. Your heroes explore Chris's turbulent relationship with the beautiful game over the past year, before going on to touch on any number of hot topics. These include: the vital role the pornography industry must surely play in the normalisation and regulation of NFTs; the reason Edward's own Cryptocurrency never got off the ground; and weighing the thorny moral issues of the 2022 Qatar World Cup against the almost inevitable English success that would result from their boycott of it. Along the way, we successfully solve football transfer culture (although unfortunately too late to save Jack Grealish's soul) and almost inevitably damage the podcast's diplomatic relations with any number of countries. Luckily, none of us were planning on going anywhere for the forseeable anyway, thanks to the great gift of Omicron, which our experts also carefully unwrap and examine. Additionally, there's a white Bovril update and news from Carlisle United, where a dead fox nailed to a plank still mercifully has a major part to play in pre-match ceremonies. If you'd like to hear more from Chris, you can find him on Twitter (@ChrisMNee), where you can also find us (@twoht/@200percentpod). You can also email us if you wish: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is split into two parts. In part one your heroes investigate what is going on at Everton, a club who are seemingly in freefall in spite of their European Cup-winning manager (cough) and their owner's almost infinitely deep pockets. There's considerable there-but-for-the-grace-of-god-go-I mirth at some of the Toffees' recent business in the transfer market and any attempt to calm the nerves of jittery Evertonians is soon kiboshed by Ian, who has been watching them play all season. In part two, Edward and Ian report on their trip to Bognor Regis Town's 2-2 draw with Enfield Town. A splendid afternoon's entertainment was had by all, enriched by a radio commentator giving sass to the visiting team's bench, bickering stewards, a comedy red card and weather conditions that rendered proceedings "like a casserole". Could this finally be the season that the games your correspondents attend are actually going to be good? Not if Omicron has anything to do with it, so get vaccinated would be our advice. If you'd like to watch highlights of that Bognor v Enfield match you can find them here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXc5J2Bvmx8; and you can watch highlights of Everton's narrow escape from relegation in 1994 here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H3r1uhj_dE. We are, as ever, available for Bovril chat via Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or by email: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a football computer games special, with both of your heroes having been playing titles that promise to offer up something new to the table. Both fail dismally, of course, which causes some consternation as both Edward and Ian like dicking about playing computer games a whole lot. There are thoughts on the unique joy afforded by modern video games whereby the consumer also gets to be an unpaid product tester and the epochal FIFA versus PES rivalry for market dominance finally reaches its climax (FIFA won). Additionally, there is an idea for a new type of football video game so revolutionary that, it is fair to say, it leaves one of your panel unenthused despite their colleague being keen to get it crowdfunded. However, your regular correspondents are also aware of the real world, so you will also find some consideration in defence of defenders and the seemingly unglamorous art of defending, as well as the impossibility in the human mind of a team winning the FA Cup 15 years before their foundation. As always, you can get in touch with any comments, queries or suggestions. On Twitter we can be found @twoht or @200percentpod, or you can email twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast focuses on the new arrival at Manchester United, Germany's intellectual powerhouse coach Ralf Rangnick. But what do your heroes - or indeed anyone else in Britain - know about this international man of mystery? Very little, it turns out. Nevertheless, it's a gap in all our knowledge that seemingly eats an hour of your lifetime. After a weekend in which Roy Keane and Jamie Carragher had a circular argument in which both men were simultaneously right and wrong, Edward and Ian bicker fruitlessly and ultimately discover nothing about Ralf Rangnick or each other. Or Jamie Vardy, as it turns out. Although we are able to explain why a Whitehawk game in 2016 missed out on a nice round attendance figure of 320, which will potentially be a help to someone. And Edward's extreme vexation at the Little England mentality demonstrated by Paul Merson (amongst others) surprises and delights his colleague to such an extent that he takes a deliberately contrarian viewpoint simply to entertain himself. Whether or not it entertains you is yet to be seen. But by gar, like a Ole Gunnar Solskjaer-lookalike sex dwarf, we tried. If you'd like to get in touch with us you can find us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or by emailing twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a right-up-to-the-minute look at a goalkeeper Liverpool signed 40 years ago, as Edward and Ian consider the career and legacy of Bruce Grobbelaar. Your heroes childhoods were both touched by the acrobatic exploits of this outstanding player to some extent, so they try to get a handle on where he came from, who he managed to beat to the role and whether or not a chimpanzee in a green jersey could have done just as effective a job playing in goal for the brilliant Liverpool team of the 1980s. There's also our thoughts on some of the darker moments from the Grobbelcareer, of which there has been no shortage in the life of this remarkable man. Fans of more recent footballing matters will be no doubt heartened that we also give some time and thought to the latest inevitable bed shitting accident at Manchester United and speculate who might be first in line to clean it all up. If you'd like to get in touch with any questions, quandries or Grobbelthooughts, you can find us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or you can email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How many times have all of YOUR toenails fallen out? None, presumably. But one of your regularly scheduled heroes on this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast's answer to that question may well surprise (and horrify you). It would certainly interest the subject of this week's conversation, Professor of Podiatry and English football's most experienced manager Neil Warnock. He's been a controversial figure for much of his career in the dugout, but his recent sacking by Middlesbrough gave both Edward and Ian pause for thought. They've realised that actually, Neil Warnock has consistently been one of the best parts about a game that, as Ian explains, only matters when it does. And as we all mellow with age, the realisation that we're probably all a little Neil Warnock sometimes is greeted with a Zen-like acceptance by all those who've had the fight battered out of them. This week, we look at both the career and life of one of British football's most fascinating characters with a fond eye because we're all grown-ups here. After this, we talk about toenails falling out and bald eyebrows, because we are also idiotic children. Such are the vagaries and complexities of life. Deal with it. If you can't, you can get in touch with us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or via email (twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com) to complain bitterly. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week's emotive FA Cup special Twohundredpercent Podcast, we join your heroes as they recount their trek up to Hertfordshire from their homes on the Sussex coast to watch St Albans City play League 2 leaders Forest Green Rovers in the First Round Proper. It was a red letter day for the Saints, too, as they emerged with a 3-2 victory to secure their first win against League opposition since the English Civil War. Not much time to dwell on anything else, or so you'd think: in fact, the ever-prolific Ian manages to drag us deep into a wormhole of Association Football in the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, before joining his colleague in a ripe assessment of many of the Premier League's flaws and foibles. But it is St Albans City who keep drawing us back, and this edition is dedicated to the magic of the FA Cup and City's long-suffering supporters, particularly the ever-excitable (and forever present) Wolfman. We explore the game, the town and the history before dealing with the most singular and poignant question of our times: Do they know it's Christmas? If you'd like to get in touch with us, you can find us as Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast has lofty ideals, as Edward and Ian tackle the thorny and ever-present subject of loss.We discover the reason why any loss by a big team is now greeted by pant wetting on a national and international scale, and fire a stinging riposte to any pearl clutching ninnies whose innocence has been so badly abused by Norwich City's failure to win a game so far this season that they believe they ought to be expelled from the league. Your heroes also finally address the poignant question: were things better in the olden days? (They are not). Are things, therefore, better now? (They are also not). Nevertheless, Ian defends the right of modern football to be like it is, even in the face of grumbling old bastards like the pair of us, who go as far as to share some booing tips designed to keep your mental well-being on an even keel. If you'd like to get in touch with us, you can find us on Twitter @twoht/@200percentpod, or email twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast (sponsored by Smithy's Kaff) is all about identifying problems and finding solutions.After a week where the Premier League's top three teams absolutely battered anything put in front of them, your heroes are keen to work out if this kind of competitive gulf is here to stay.If so, what is the answer? A Brentford-style, statistics-led "Moneyball" approach? A return to long ball tactics? Or the wilful neglect of all the technological trappings of the modern game until every playing surface is a midden? Our conclusions may or may not surprise you, particularly if you happen to be Paul Scholes.There's also news of Edward's visit to the West Country for a society wedding and Ian - who had been laid up all weekend with a stinking cold - offers some dialectical advice for those forced to deal with anti-vax campaigners.If you'd like to get in touch, we are as ever on Twitter @twoht/@200percentpod or you can email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.There’s a bunch of different ways in which you can subscribe to the 200% podcast. You can do so through Spotify, which you can find right here, whilst the podcast RSS feed is here and you can subscribe through Google Podcasts here and Itunes here. We’re now also available through Acast, right here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast walks the fine line between moral outrage and slapstick comedy like never before. However, for once it is neither Ian nor Edward's fault, they are merely playing with the hands that footballing fate has dealt them. There are some serious ponderings on Newcastle United's new Faustian takeover agreement, as well as Manchester United's wanton disregard for both their sporting legacy and their carbon footprint. Your heroes also delve into Paul Merson's affecting BBC documentary about the secret shame of football's gambling problem, complete with some valuable personal insight from Ian, formerly the manager of a bookmaker's shop in London Colney. Luckily, there is some light relief from all of this furrowing of the brow, thanks to legendary Northern Irish team Glentoran's goalkeeper punching his own centre half. Ah football. We knew there was a reason we keep coming back. If you'd like to get in touch with us you can find us on Twitter @twoht or @200percentpod, or you can email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a Listeners' Questions special, with the entire agenda set by a bumper crop of queries sent in by you. Naturally, these ended up with Edward and Ian learning more about themselves and each other than ever before, but in between the discoveries there is also plenty of football chat.Ian holds forth on the efficacy of the Pozzo brothers' approach to running Watford FC, as well as the prospect of a populist fan-led uprising changing British football forever and for the better.Edward, meanwhile, is very keen that no-one notices how good a job Graham Potter is doing at Brighton & Hove Albion, having seen this movie before and knowing what inevitably happens next.There's also significant consideration of onions, high winds and post-apocalyptic survivalism, all of which time and again brought us back to a similar conclusion about our current favourite Premier League football manager.If you'd like to submit a question for us to percolate on for the next edition, you can find us on Twitter @twoht or @200percentpod, or email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.There’s a bunch of different ways in which you can subscribe to the 200% podcast. You can do so through Spotify, which you can find right here, and you can download today’s episode to listen to at your leisure by right-clicking and saving here, whilst the podcast RSS feed is here and you can subscribe through Google Podcasts here and Itunes here. We’re now also available through Acast, right here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian - two weary, middle-aged old duffers - met during a torrential rainstorm that at times sounded like being inside a car wash in order to harvest their ripest takes about a sport that has long since stopped caring what they think. On the slate was the embarrassing Tottenham performance in last weekend's North London Derby which has cast serious doubt over both Nuno Espirito Santo's future at the club and also the number of follicles on the top of his head. Your heroes also cast a critical and heartily unapologetic eye on the latest thing to infest professional soccer, players issuing public apologies for mistakes they have made. On the field of play, at least. All this, plus! Three new Jamie Vardy facts that leave at least one of our panel distinctly underwhelmed, a disagreement about who Rastamouse supports and some fond reminiscences of terrible, awful football matches that we went to in the bad old days. If you would like to see the highlights of this week's Match of the Week - which was neither terrible nor awful - you can find them here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wVectMaEDY. If you'd like to ask a question for a future episode, you can get in touch via Twitter (@twoht or @200percentpod) or you can email us, twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a(nother) bumper seaside special edition of the Twohundredpercent Podcast this week, as Edward and Ian return from the international break more fed up with everything than ever. Casual fans of Manchester United and people who vote Conservative should probably give this one a miss, as two weary old Trots do their best to pick through what's going on at Oldham Athletic, try to establish the numerically sustainable level of British football clubs and bitterly critique the BBC's new Premier League documentary series. But there's also hope for the future: Edward comes up with an embargo-busting solution that works for everyone and somehow doesn't suck, we celebrate animals getting onto the field of play and come out as strong proponents of football players being high on recreational drugs at all times. Ian even finds time to commission an epoch-making television series, perhaps not that much of a surprise when you eventually find out that this episode is easily half an hour too long, for which we can only apologise (but don't). If you'd like to get in touch, perhaps to ask a future listeners question or to be extremely rude you can find us on Twitter @200percentpod or @twoht. If you'd like to see this week's Match of the Week you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F8K33fXtas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week’s all-thriller Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are thankfully joined by special guest Sam Whyte, who is artfully able to take both of your regular heroes – who had both been on the pop – by the hand through their weekly discussion of all things football. And what a week it’s been. Edward, Ian and Sam look on with grim faces at Manchester United’s signing of Cristiano Ronaldo, which is both inexpicable and wrong whichever angle one chooses to look at it.Arsenal’s recent travails are also revisited, with Sam revealing they’ve now made it onto her Critically Endangered list of the eight clubs who cannot possibly avoid relegation this season and Ian still lost in admiration of Nuno Espirito Santo’s beard. We also remember Wigan Athletic’s very own Keith the duck – whose death this week caused shockwaves across the region – as well as Speckles the chicken, a much less-heralded but equally dead bird from north-west England who met with an igniminious fate.Match of the Week sees more fond reminiscence, as your panel of experts pine for the golden era of the FA Cup: inflatables, haddocks and pitches like ploughed fields aplenty, as Terry Phelan scores a worldy to break Grimsby hearts.You can find Sam Whyte on Twitter @SamWhyte, while we are as ever @twoht and @200percentpod. If you’d like to watch our Match of the Week, you can find it here.There’s a bunch of different ways in which you can subscribe to the 200% podcast. You can do so through Spotify, which you can find right here, while the podcast RSS feed is here and you can subscribe through Google Podcasts here and Itunes here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast sees your heroes turn their gimlet eye onto two stories from the Football League. The first is a horror story, that of Nottingham Forest and their dismal start to the season under Chris Hughton. We explore key issues such as: who is responsible for editing his Wikipedia page? Are monkeys in suits any match for modern football data analysts? And are all these questions moot, when the prophecised Chosen One is consolidating his power right now in Sherwood Forest, waiting to scatter his magic beans and lead Forest back to domestic and European glory? The second story is far more redemptive, as Edward and Ian celebrate Rochdale AFC's seeming deliverance from yet another murky takeover attempt in the EFL. There's also news of Sean Dyche, a monstrous road junction in Chesterfield and some more potential solutions to the thorny issue of male pattern baldness; as well as action from the 1989 Full Members Cup, if anyone cared. If you'd like to get in touch with us, to suggest a future Match of the Week or pose a listener question, you can find us on Twitter @twoht or @200percentpod, or email twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com. If you'd like to bask in this episode's Match of the Week, you can find it here. There’s a bunch of different ways in which you can subscribe to the 200% podcast. You can do so through Spotify, which you can find right here, whilst the podcast RSS feed is here and you can subscribe through Google Podcasts here and Itunes here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is (probably) the only place that you'll get to both hear Sean Dyche talking backwards and admiration for Ron Atkinson's leather jacket. And that's just for starters, because Edward and Ian had all sorts of shit to unpack, what with it having just been the opening weekend of the Premier League season. Amongst their discoveries is that Pep Guardiola is (still) bald, Japhet Tanganga is now one of our own (if you support Spurs) and it's never not going to be too soon to make any jokes about Matt Busby.Ian imagines an alternative universe in which Manchester United are only as good as Sheffield Wednesday, Edward reveals which bird Paul Pogba looks like this week and Arsenal's collective buttocks receive a traditional garnish. Meanwhile, as VAR enters its rebellious and nihilistic teenage years, your heroes also answer more listeners' questions, helpfully establishing Harry Kane's exact cash value and helping to doom a number of previously distinguished top flight clubs to the most igniminious relegation of all. If you'd like to ask a question of your own (or suggest a future Match of the Week) you can find us on Twitter: @twoht and @200percentpod, or you can email us at twohundredpercentpodcast@gmail.com.If you'd like to watch this episode's Match of the Week, you can find it here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Association Football returns as the mainstay of the Twohundredpercent podcast from this week and it is like Edward and Ian have never been away. Except for the fact that FC Barcelona have run out of money and been forced to let Lionel Messi run away and join the circus. There's also news from Derby County (a club in crisis to a lesser extent, but try telling that to Wayne Rooney), FA Cup Quarter Final action (from 1982), listener questions and praise for the awesome natural power of rhizomes. It's the podcast that finally dares to lay bare the intricacies of The Banks-Shilton-Wallington Contiuum, a rolling set of transfer moves that kept East Midlands football clubs in goalkeepers for more than 20 years. If you'd like to join us in watching our Match of the Week, you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVst4ZayCm4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.