This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is (probably) the only place that you'll get to both hear Sean Dyche talking backwards and admiration for Ron Atkinson's leather jacket. And that's just for starters, because Edward and Ian had all sorts of shit to unpack, what with it having just been the opening weekend of the Premier League season. Amongst their discoveries is that Pep Guardiola is (still) bald, Japhet Tanganga is now one of our own (if you support Spurs) and it's never not going to be too soon to make any jokes about Matt Busby.

Ian imagines an alternative universe in which Manchester United are only as good as Sheffield Wednesday, Edward reveals which bird Paul Pogba looks like this week and Arsenal's collective buttocks receive a traditional garnish. Meanwhile, as VAR enters its rebellious and nihilistic teenage years, your heroes also answer more listeners' questions, helpfully establishing Harry Kane's exact cash value and helping to doom a number of previously distinguished top flight clubs to the most igniminious relegation of all. If you'd like to ask a question of your own (or suggest a future Match of the Week) you can find us on Twitter: @twoht and @200percentpod, or you can email us at twohundredpercentpodcast@gmail.com.

If you'd like to watch this episode's Match of the Week, you can find it here.

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