The Daily Vanilla

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Satire, Humour & Fun... The stuff mainstream media conveniently ignores.

Satire is a dying artform where creators are using it to deliver below the belt punches or promote a particular agenda. The Daily Vanilla aims to do something much more positive in a world that is currently going through some very tough times.

We cover the world of sports, entertainment, business and a little politics. Bringing you daily smiles in bite-sized "news reports" under 10 minutes. read less
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4 household items that Indian kids need to be careful off
23-04-2021
4 household items that Indian kids need to be careful off
It is an accepted fact that your average household is one of the most accident-prone environments for a child to grow up in. From sharp edges to open flames, every imaginable horror is traversed with ease inside the confines of an apartment or a home. Researches have attributed it to the nature vs nurture debate, whereby the natural risk aversive nature of human beings is slowly replaced by the familiarity of the environment they grew up in.This is complemented by studies that reveal that people tend to be more accident-prone in the initial 6 months of moving into a new house. This includes leaving electric devices switched on to slipping in the bathroom. The lack of familiarity tends to drive a certain level of laxity when it should be logically otherwise.The Indian household is no exception.What makes the Indian household an even more dangerous environment for growing children are driven by a few factors that is unique to the Indian way of life: The huge variety of artefacts that a family collects over time - Every Indian house has knick-knacks of various sizes, shapes and emotional appeal scattered all over the house.The tendency to use every available space in the house - Indians are experts at utilising every available inch of space within the house. Very rarely would you find a house or apartment that has plenty of open space and empty walls. Multi-generational families - Multiple generations of a family live within the same roof in what is known as the joint family system. From a social and experiential perspective, this appears to be the ideal nurturing environment for growing up, but it brings with it possessions of all the generations leading to the clutter.Hoarding tendencies - Indians are inadvertently among the most prolific hoarders in the world. There are things at home that date back to the childhood of the grandparents and a plethora of stuff that is kept "just in case". This ranges from the ashes of the ancestors to plastic bags.Lack of babyproofing or child-friendly furniture - This is still a very foreign concept to the average Indian household where the most widely accepted solution for baby proofing is to move the breakable item onto a place that the baby cannot reach.The ability of Indian mothers to convert any item into a weapon - Without any formal training in the art of warfare, this skill seems to be something that all Indian moms develop over the years, mainly by observing their mothers. If the item can be picked up, it can be used as a weapon to discipline your child.We dwelt a little more into the last point and came up with a list of 4 common household items that are most likely to be used as the weapon of choice by an Indian mother.Read full article at : http://thedailyvanilla.com/2021/04/23/4-household-items-that-indian-kids-need-to-be-careful-off/
New addition to the Starbucks menu – Cumin Cooler
22-04-2021
New addition to the Starbucks menu – Cumin Cooler
Starbucks is a name that is now synonymous with coffee worldwide much to the chagrin of coffee purists who would recoil at the thought. You cannot, however, deny the role that Starbucks has played in popularizing the concept of "Coffee on the Go". Thereby helping a large percentage of the world's population satisfy their caffeine requirements on a daily basis.Headquartered in Seattle, this American chain has over 30,000 stores worldwide and at one point in time was opening 2 stores per day. Under CEO Howard Schultz, the company went from strength to strength. Starting off as a corner store selling coffee beans, it is now the global standard of the erstwhile coffee shop.Innovation is nothing new to the Starbucks team. They have not only introduced localised products in whichever market they venture into, they have also introduced the international customer to specialities from all around the world. Some of their products have achieved iconic status, especially within the American population. The USA continues to be its primary market with Manhattan alone having almost 250 stores.Drinks like the Pumpkin Spice Latte, usually re-launched every year around Labour Day, is an unofficial declaration of the arrival of the Fall season. They have also introduced the Western audience to the sweet milk tea intrinsic to the Indian subcontinent via the incorrectly named "Chai Tea". Chai literally means Tea. So in essence, the product is called Tea Tea.Our sources have informed us that after a high-level Zoom meeting, keeping with the norms during the pandemic, Starbucks has decided to expand its Summer menu by adding a new drink called the Cumin Cooler. This new drink is claimed to have anti-oxidant and immunity-boosting properties and is being positioned as an effective deterrent to the COVID19 virus. Also taking into mind the high levels of obesity within the USA and the role of Starbucks in contributing to the increasing consumption of sugar the world over, this new drink is also expected to bank on the weight loss attributes of cumin seeds to put a positive CSR angle on the whole product line.Read full article at - https://thedailyvanilla.com/2021/04/22/new-addition-to-the-starbucks-menu-cumin-cooler/
Inner Circle of Congress Party will be exposed soon claims Ghulam Nabi Azad
21-04-2021
Inner Circle of Congress Party will be exposed soon claims Ghulam Nabi Azad
Disgruntled Indian National Congress leader and one of the most respected politicians of the country Ghulam Nabi Azad has always been upfront on his views on what is going wrong with the Indian National Congress. He was one of the G-23, a name given to the 23 senior members of the party who had written a letter to the Indian National Congress High Command over having elections within the party and electing a formal president.The other members include popular leaders like Shashi Tharoor and Kapil Sibal who have now been side-lined by their own party and replaced in some of the key positions they occupied. It was seen as a direct consequence of questioning the way the party functions at the top level and even more so as a challenge to the stranglehold that the Gandhi family has had over the party for the past 25 years.This development had not gone down too well with the dissenters as they are now caught between a rock and a hard place. More criticism would lead to them being portrayed as power-hungry and even to the extent of being a BJP agent. While on the other hand, not saying anything would show them as weak leaders who had to succumb to the fancies of the Gandhi family. Both options are not something that would extend the longevity of their illustrious careers.While Kapil Sibal completely shut himself off from public appearances and Shashi Tharoor focussed on the Kerala elections, the other stalwart from the G-23, Ghulam Nabi Azad has been in the news recently. First he was both praised and slammed by different sections of the country for his gracious acceptance of Prime Minister Narendra Modi's praise during his retirement speech. Then, he was slammed by party workers for his comments on the VIP culture within his party. A concentrated effort was put in by certain sections of the media to discredit every statement he made.Despite all this, Ghulam Nabi Azad maintained the decency and decorum he has been known for all throughout his career.With rising COVID19 cases, he has been reluctant to provide interviews or to interact with the media in any way. However, we have information from sources close to the leader who has claimed that the true inner circle of the Congress Party will now be exposed.Read full article at: http://thedailyvanilla.com/2021/04/21/inner-circle-of-congress-party-will-be-exposed-soon-claims-ghulam-nabi-azad/
WHO declares India hiding crucial COVID19 information from rest of the world
20-04-2021
WHO declares India hiding crucial COVID19 information from rest of the world
In an unprecedented move, the World Health Organisation has demanded answers from one of its member countries. The WHO which is known to be soft on major players within the organisation has now openly come out and demanded explanations from India, one of the largest vaccine suppliers in the world.Despite international pressure, the WHO has remained soft on China, the country that many within the international community believe to have artificially engineered the virus that has cost over 3 million deaths worldwide. The dummy investigation team and the carefully choreographed site visit had irked the member nations who have accused the WHO of being biased due to the economic muscle that China flexes whenever it suits their needs.Another instance of the WHO remaining indifferent was with the USA and its appalling handling of the pandemic during the first wave of the virus. They seemed to be preoccupied by trying to make sense of what was happening by putting out contradicting statements every week. This prompted many countries to take matters into their own hands and rely on the medical experts within their countries to pull them out of the situation they found themselves in.However, the WHO raised eyebrows this week by openly declaring that one of its biggest supporters, India, was holding back information that could lead to the eradication of the pandemic worldwide.Read the full article at - https://thedailyvanilla.com/2021/04/20/who-declares-india-hiding-crucial-covid19-information-from-rest-of-the-world/
Karan Johar buys movie rights to the Look Who’s Talking franchise
15-04-2021
Karan Johar buys movie rights to the Look Who’s Talking franchise
Industry sources have confirmed that popular Bollywood Producer-Director Karan Johar has acquired the movie rights for the 3 movie franchise - Look Who's Talking. This is some refreshing news amidst all the gloom associated with the COVID19 pandemic that has gripped the industry. Dharma Productions, the production house that was started by Karan Johar's father, late industry icon Yash Johar is set to get the project rolling in the middle of the year.The original Amy Heckerling directed 1989 release starring John Travolta (who was making a comeback), Kirstie Alley and a surprising role by Bruce Willis as the voice of the baby Mikey. The film chronicled the initial years of baby Mickey and his mother while going through life and relationships, especially with his babysitter James, played by Travolta.The film inspired 2 sequels, Look Who is Talking Too where Mickey has a baby sister who can talk as well and Look Who is Talking Now which brings in their pet dog into the world of unlikely conversations. All three movies were well received and it begs the question, why would someone buy the rights of a 31-year-old movie?Karan Johar and Dharma Productions is known for making lavish, larger than life movies that appeal to the aspirational Indian while also ensuring that the NRI can connect with the movie. It is this skill to find that magic mix that has propelled him into the A-list of the Bollywood fraternity. If the production house and the team want to stay true to the original, it actually goes against everything that the brand is known for. The original movies were extremely simple and set in a lower middle-class atmosphere. This is not exactly Karan Johar's core strength.This publication wanted to find the truth behind this move.Undisclosed sources have confirmed that this was mainly driven by the intrinsic drive of Karan Johar to launch star kids. With the huge clamour and buzz around the son of Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan, Taimur, Karan wanted to be the first person to launch the star kid. He was on the lookout for the perfect script for this and after hitting a dead-end decided to purchase the rights to a movie instead.The fact that the whole nepotism debate raging in Bollywood has not died down, it is quite clear that Karan Johar has decided to embrace the allegations than fight it. The movie selection seems to be a perfect one with the whole family getting to play a part in the remake. It is speculated that both Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor will play the roles of John Travolta and Kirstie Alley.Ranveer Singh is said to be the first choice for the voice of Taimur, reprising the role played by Bruce Willis.The fact that Taimur has a younger brother in real life may require slight edits to the overall story of the original where Mickey had a baby sister who shared screen space in the sequel but it seems to be the reason why the decision was made to purchase rights to the whole franchise.Read the full article at - https://thedailyvanilla.com/2021/04/15/karan-johar-buys-movie-rights-to-the-look-whos-talking-franchise/
Alt Balaji creative team closely monitoring West Bengal elections
13-04-2021
Alt Balaji creative team closely monitoring West Bengal elections
The West Bengal elections have been nothing less that a potboiler. With twists and turns happening everyday, it is no surprise that the IPL has not managed to take attention away from this classic Indian masala event.Even before the election campaigning was underway, this was the election that the whole country was looking forward to. This is despite major battles happening in other parts of the country like Tamil Nadu where this would be the first time an election is held without K Karunanidhi or J Jayalalitha leading their respective parties from the front. Or even in Kerala where the Congress and the Communist party fight for relevance, the losing party could just be forgotten in the grander scheme of things.This focus was mainly on the high drama that is usually associated with TMC supremo Mamata Banerjee. The incumbent CM is a hard working self styled, self made politician who fought hard to wrest West Bengal from the clutches of the Left and has literally ruled over the state for the past 10 years. This drama was to surely be intensified with the laser focussed efforts of BJP leader and Union Home Minister Amit Shah who had decided that the time for the lotus to bloom in West Bengal had come.The 2021 election could have easily gone ignored with the usual rhetoric but the way events unfolded has truly changed perception across the country. Some of the events that transpired were Almost half of TMC's sitting MP's jump ship Multiple accusations of poll booth capturing even before polling had started Mamata Banerjee injures herself and accuses BJP of an assassination attempt Mamata Banerjee hold election rallies while on a wheelchair PM Narendra Modi goes to Bangladesh to campaign Clubhouse chats are made public TMC encourages public to gherao CRPF officials resulting in shootings and death of 5 peopleWe wish to remind the readers that this is just phase 5 of and 8 phase election. There is plenty more where this came from.The whole country is keenly observing the happenings as this could determine how fast the BJP juggernaut will take over the country.What surprised this publication was the news of a special team being constituted by Ekta Kapoor of the OTT platform Alt Balaji to closely monitor the election. It was speculated that Balaji Telefilms was contemplating starting a news channel to compete with the high octane drama provided by Republic TV and the monotony of NDTV. The unabashed genius of the Ekta Kapoor and the maverick moves she has pulled off in the past clearly indicated that this is a direction the premier TV production house could be exploring.We managed to get in touch with one of the senior creative producers at Alt Balaji who was shocked at our question. She agreed to respond to our queries under the promise of annonymity."It is a preposterous suggestion that we are getting into the news channel space. We are weavers of dreams and fantasy not manipulators of facts. We at Alt Balaji have a responsibility towards the 3 sections of the society and we will not divert our attention from ensuring that they are always our number one priority."When pushed to elaborate on what those sections of society was, she explained."We focus our attention on the 3 H's - Housewives, Hopeless Romantics and Horny Teens. Our TV serials cater the first and second category while...Read full story at - https://thedailyvanilla.com/2021/04/13/alt-balaji-creative-team-closely-monitoring-west-bengal-elections/
Indian techies demand addition of marathon Zoom calls to Tokyo Olympics
11-04-2021
Indian techies demand addition of marathon Zoom calls to Tokyo Olympics
With the Olympic committee holding steadfast to their decision of conducting the 2021 Summer Olympics in July, the call for including sporting events with more relevance to the current situation has been gaining ground.The COVID19 pandemic is not showing signs of slowing down and with multiple countries experiencing 2nd and 3rd waves of the virus, there has been speculation that the worlds biggest sports event, the Olympics might not happen. This is not the first time that the event has been cancelled or postponed, but it surely would be the first time that a pandemic is forcing the event to call it off.What has been reassuring for fans and sportspersons worldwide has been the fact that the Olympic committee has refused to let the pandemic bog them down. Multiple press releases over the past few weeks have reaffirmed that the event will take place as planned. This has now opened up a new can of worms.Several people have come forward to demand that the events in the Olympics have to be relooked at. Irrelevant events like Synchronised Swimming and Equestrian sports are being labelled as archaic and not in sync with modern times.The biggest noise however has been from software and IT professionals from India.Known popularly as "techies", they constitute the biggest chuck of India's qualified working population. They are the biggest contributor to the national tax programme while also being considered the most aloof from the overall nation building exercise. They are desperate to make a change.Citing the example of Anil Kumble, former Indian cricket team captain and the countries highest wicket taker in the sport, they believe that they can contribute more to the development of India on the world stage rather than just executing projects for companies around the world.Under the promise of anonymity, a current employee of one of the largest IT companies in the country said, "This has been going on for too long. We are a bunch of nameless, faceless citizens who have contributed so much to the development of the country without any recognition whatsoever. It is now our time to really make an impact. When the whole country was shutting down during the pandemic, we kept the whole world running. It is now time for us to compete with the rest of the world and truly stake our claim as the best."While actually competing in the sports events are out of the question, almost 3/4th of the techie population is woefully physically incapable of anything outside sedentary work, there seems to be a few things on which there could be a global parity.Virtual meetings..."Zoom calls and Google Teams meetings are a common practice across the globe," says Sitara Unnikrishnan, a long term employee of Wipro. "We spend an average of 4-5 hours of our day virtually on meetings that have absolutely no significance to the work we are expected to do."Read the full article at - https://thedailyvanilla.com/2021/04/07/indian-techies-demand-addition-of-marathon-zoom-calls-to-tokyo-olympics/