We're back! We took a brief hiatus because of stuff going on in our lives, but we're excited to have a conversation about boundaries!!

Some people who don't understand this type of parenting believe there are no boundaries for our kids, and even parents who do parent this way struggle to know how to hold a boundary in a safe, connected, supportive way. If we can start to expect that our kids will have a negative reaction to the boundary, it can make it easier to respond with respect and connection as opposed to anger and coercion. Just expect your kids to hate the boundaries!

Parents often struggle to hold boundaries when:
1. We want to avoid their negative reactions
2. We don't have the energy
3. Their feelings are too much for us to handle

All of these reasons are valid and important to recognize and understand, because moving boundaries due to negative behavior is permissive parenting, and can be really detrimental to our relationship with our kids and makes it hard for them to know how to comply with expectations.

Our homes should be different than the rest of the world, and we don't accept that we have to mistreat our kids to prepare them for the worst of the world.  It's like people need to be toughened up so they know how to be mistreated better. Instead we want kids to know how to advocate for themselves, end relationships with people who mistreat them, etc.

It is not our child's job to figure out how to not trigger you. It is your job to figure out how to not be triggered. Being triggered is our work to do and important that we learn how to respond to our kids even when we're triggered. There truly are ways to hold boundaries with empathy and validation, and that is really important as our kids age.

Allowing and expecting our kids to have reactions to our boundaries teaches our kids that their thoughts and feelings matter, and helps them learn ways to disagree respectfully, resolve conflict, share their opinions, etc. Check out this post that gives great insight into what our kids think about our interactions with them.

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Subscribe, rate, and review us on Podchaser, Apple, or wherever you listen to podcasts!

Follow us on social media to join the conversation!!!
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