Intro Guy 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one up to hear you've questioned so much more than those around you. You've even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? When did I begin to think differently? Why do people in general appear so limited in this thought process? Rest assured, you are not alone. The world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside yet can't quite verbalize. Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast, the show that answers the question you never even knew to ask. But you the answers to questions about you this world the people in it most importantly, how do I proceed now moving forward? We don't even have all the answers but we sure do love living in the Question Time for another decade of spiritual dub with your host Brandon Handley. Let's get right into today's episode.

Brandon Handley 0:42
One Hey there Spiritual Dope I'm on here today with Darren prince. He is an international best selling author of his best of his memoir. Aiming High is a prominent sports and celebrity agent and global advocate for Addiction and Mental Health Recovery. There was agency Prints marketing group who represents icons Magic Johnson, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Jerry, West, Dominique Wilkins, Chevy Chase, all these guys are greats. Right? And, you know, I didn't meet him getting autographs or anything like that. Darren, I met recently at an event with Brandon Novak and Novak house. And I think that's somebody that you're fairly close with, through addiction and recovery. So I said, You know what, I don't want to miss this opportunity to chat with somebody and share your story about all that you're doing. It's so great out there in the space. So Darren, Thanks for Thanks for coming on today.

Darren Prince 1:36
Thanks for having me.

Brandon Handley 1:38
Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, let's let's just kind of dive right into it. You know, you You're, you're well known you've done. You've worked with all these greats. But you've started like, with an addiction at a pretty young age, right? You started with an addiction at a pretty young age, and it caused a lot of havoc in your life. And now you've kind of translated that and transmute it into something good let's start at the beginning man like how did you end up with with some addictions

Darren Prince 2:09
I you know, I grew up you would have thought just a normal childhood which I'd say for the most part i i had great loving mother and father and sister but I was always verbally to use for things so called Special Ed and small classrooms and back then, which probably more add whatever I was interested in, I gravitated to them most of the stuff I didn't. And I think just that did a number of my psyche and my self confidence, my self esteem. So at 14 When I was in sleepaway camp, and I had terrible stomach pains one night, the nurse gave me the scream liquid and having no idea what it was for the pain I took it and walking back to the bunk within a minute I felt like Superman like all those feelings of inadequacies and low self worth and self esteem. I knew I felt just as good as everybody else just as popular just as smart and went to bed then I think nothing of it. But I did all the activities that camp that next day, and I remember just lying in the bunk bed next night obsessing on that feeling and I wanted more of and I did that for a couple of weeks until mom and dad came up with visitation day and found that I was taking liquid Demerol. Yeah, I don't know what is Demerol and emeralds in OBS general problem most likely something that gives you a hospital like more but heavier opiate and back then the opiate epidemic wasn't anywhere near but you know, it was today. And you know, I had a way about me to assist innocent kid that was just in a lot of pain. And you know, she was probably just trying to come a relief every night or I was getting his bed stomach cramps and just, you know, played it to the hill just like I did when I had my wisdom teeth removed a few months later and my mom gave me these white pills that were called extra sent by cannons and that same feeling came back and you know, when I saw the bottle had two pills left I put on the crocodile tears fry it and said I've got to go back to the dentist have a bad infection. I know it's something's wrong and you know, panicked as a loving mother took me back and gave her another dozen bills, whatever it was.

Brandon Handley 4:15
Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy to us and it's such a young age. Right. And those are like those are some that was your thing, right? Like kind of like Demerol and opiates and

Darren Prince 4:27
cocaine, ecstasy, you name it. Sure. And I he became an age and opiates were the ones that taught me up and it took me straight to the bottom.

Brandon Handley 4:37
Sure, sure. Let's let's walk our way into the agents. Phase two. Right. So here you are. Age 14, you're kind of you're already like, you know, a script chaser. Right. But you've also got some cool things going on. You may mention that you're you were in like these quote unquote special ed classes. You know, you need a little bit extra attention to get through teaching you how to chip on your shoulder. But that actually led you on to something kind of cool. Right? Talk a little bit about that.

Darren Prince 5:06
Yeah. So I started a mail order baseball card company long before the internet boom, and became nationally recognized, doing trade shows all over the country. First person, I think in the state of New Jersey, I have a cell phone, it was called Bell Atlantic, it was in a big leather carrying case with a battery pack, the phone cost me about $3,500. That's how tough we were to get about $3 a minute to use the phone. And the dumb idiot that wasn't going to go anywhere in between class was going into his locker room dealing with stockbrokers and a bunch of guys from ESPN. Were buying from me some of the big commentators that were big collectors and I would just broker deals of it. I had an incredible network database of dealers around the country, I was advertising because trade shows I would go to the best convention to get the best location. So I was spending 1000s a week on advertising myself, I became a very well known figure in the baseball card hobby and the boom of the 80s. So for any collectors that are listening now, it actually started in the 80s, which is why there's an industry there is today and by Tom, I'm 16 years old man, I'm probably making a quarter of $1,300,000 Ask us globally mean anything to me, you know, I came home from school. And it was about, you know, the hustle of laying out my ads for the next week and filling orders and hiring. You know, some of the so called friends that were were calling me, idiot and dumb. They were now calling me boss at 16 and 17 years old. And you know, and then from there, eventually I sold that company in 19. I dropped out of college, my freshman year of Bridgeport and went full steam ahead into the memorabilia business. So it's booking autograph signings from Muhammad Ali magic chevy chase to Frazier. Pamela Anderson. And by the time I was 24, built, built that business had some legal issues. And it was kind of at this turning point in my life where first time I ever had some financial difficulties and magics dip on my side and said, Hey, I know about making mistakes he had he was coming up with his HIV announcement, the anniversary of that was November 7 on Monday. And what do you want to do now? And because of my dad giving me the inspiration of explaining that to you know, like, not what you know, we work with the most iconic people in the world. You know, go speak to magic, you supported you and first client for my agency.

Brandon Handley 7:33
That's pretty that's pretty awesome. I love that. Well, give me a moment here. Like how did we translate from, you know, in first of all, like, I'll just in my mind, I'm thinking like, mail order catalog. I thought you were just I thought you were just going in and setting up setting up the tables doing the shows you were.

Darren Prince 7:51
Yeah, but we had a big Yeah, I have people taking orders. We're going on clothing and buy the stuff on the weekend, sell it during the week and knew exactly what I needed to find on a weekend to follow orders, mark it up and make a profit and get it out next week.

Brandon Handley 8:05
That's awesome. And you were making what you're making? This is a what is the 80s? Is that right? Like mid 86. So I mean, I'm just gonna I told my son right now he's 10. And he's already feels like he's done with school. And I told him like, you know, when he makes his first million, feel free to drop out, right? Like, you know, go ahead. So, so you go from you go from this card business bit, and it's working out really well for you, you sell it how do you make the translation over into, you know, signatures like what?

Darren Prince 8:34
What happened, and it's funny because one of my agents here Matilda was telling her the story older I think the sexiness and the coolness of being around like some of the biggest stars that were doing these autograph signings at conventions, it drew me to it. And, you know, again, that insecurity brokenness, like no cards are cool and making money but the cards, and I kind of just more or less went into the autograph signing thing, because I was like, wow, I've an opportunity to book my first autograph signing with Muhammad Ali, the most recognized human being on Earth. And, you know, for somebody with low self esteem and you know, was always high and to be around that environment. It was just unbelievable. And then I just think my appetite grew. From there it was same sort of thing. Well, autograph signings are kind of cool and hanging out with them but I won't be this autograph fucker for shinies I want to do big things. I want to do endorsements commercials, you know, when that's how that evolved.

Brandon Handley 9:28
You wanted to level up and this whole time you know, you're you're you're popping pills, right? You're you're doing whatever.

Darren Prince 9:35
You're on the autograph signing era, which the company was called prints of cards. That was the same name as the the big card company. You always partying whatever it was you name it, I did it. But when I became an agent, I learned real fast with magic when a morality clauses when the lawyers put together an agreement I was like, Alright, I gotta play this straight. Sciatica had anxiety and hey, like any good drug out If you junkie, I played it to the hell, you know how easy it was to get any script that I needed when I'd get them on the phone with Joe Frazier or bring him a Magic Johnson signed jersey or go like this guy's got it all together and a lot of pain, go get an MRI, go get an x ray, let's see how we can fix you. Let's do medication management. And for the first five, six years, man of my ancient life, you know, it worked really did. I became a rock star with networking. But I also say like this, like what was once living to us turned out to using to live. Yeah, and I just don't know when it turned. And I do remember that night I lost my superpower. So I remember when the oxycottons didn't work at an example, Joe Frazier in Dallas, Texas, and probably for a good six or seven years. I was trying to chase that high after that. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 10:52
And you talk a little bit about this insecurity and brokenness, right. Like where do you feel like that stemmed from a little bit that was encouraging.

Darren Prince 11:00
Like, I can't blame my mom and dad for it. And my mom and I came from a family with a lot of love. You know, my dad had tough love bugs. That was my biggest supporter. My mom gave me way too much. I think some people could understand that because that cause anxiety, it'll leave the house and I'll be around them all the time. And you know, those two were on there's too much and she was she overwhelming. With love were a kind of, you know, like I said, causing excess amount of anxiety with the over coddling knowing that I was special ed and need special attention. And I think it just can be very uncomfortable and how to deal with life. If I was in, you know, attached to her at home with her and my dad, and we get homesick a lot if I'd sleep over at friend's houses or birthday parties or weekend getaways. I remember it just a horrible feeling in my stomach just not being comfortable being away from mom and dad. And you know, you take all that into the real world with the verbal teasing and you don't speak up about those words a dumb an idiot I think using the word that begins with our from mentally challenged, I heard all these things. And when you absorb that, and those developmental years, guess what, you start believing it especially now put it out. And I didn't have the courage to speak up.

Brandon Handley 12:14
Yeah, and the 80s You know, I grew up in a suit. Like they weren't kind. They were not. They like yeah, now I think so it's, you know, gratefully for my children a lot. It's better, right as different than than what it was then. But there was there was very few teachers really stopping that from happening to right. Oh, hell, it could be the teachers.

Darren Prince 12:37
Back then, like I had a teacher. I won't mention her name, which she's not even alive anymore. US history. 60 kids in the class. I remember like yesterday, and you know, it's a level of psychological trauma, nothing that you know, it's something I've been healed from but you remember it. And she bought the first 90% of the class their test. And I'm in the bath with for six kids. My friend John Angelo gave squirrel joy. I'll never forget my crew, Carmen. And we called ourselves the our only group. People can figure out what word I mean. joking around about it. But again, I'm actually taking this in Stoke, right? Handed everybody else their tests. She's shouts in front of the entire class, I'll get to you guys in the back row with your test in a minute. Let me just take care of everybody else first. And even the tone was speaking to us in a way that we're less than we're not as smart or not as good. And you remember that? Yeah. Here we are. 40 something hours later, and I'll never forget it.

Brandon Handley 13:43
For sure. So when you're when you're, you know, drugging when your pill pop and when you're drinking. You're trying to forget that piece of who you are.

Darren Prince 13:54
I'm trying to forget that piece of who you are. But I'm also there's a great revelation on Jay Shetty. He's a dear friend of mine. I was at his place on Sunday that I made it to the top. But I'm looking backwards at all the people that said I wasn't going to make it. Usually when you get to the top or somebody to fake top there's a lot of smoke and mirrors still it I didn't feel worthy of being at the top of the industry around the biggest stars in the world. And so my thing was always look backwards. Look at me look at the dumb ugly one to one no doubt that I'm Swanee one that wasn't going to make it look, I mean, I look at it, you know, and it was that way when I was 16. I remember when I would just go to bed at night laughing because my dad was like, you're making more money than most of your friends fathers that are that are lawyers that have real crown like the bed like, you know, celebrating this and

Brandon Handley 14:53
what kid wouldn't right at that age for sure. That makes sense.

Darren Prince 14:57
And that was all that deep rooted. insecurity that that verbal teasing and just that feeling of less than and, you know, my mom thought it was funny sometimes when she would hear me on the phone like buy and sell this person backwards and forwards and she thought it was hilarious, but it came from a deep place of insecurity and resentment. And I was like, How funny is that this guy is going to go to college mom for the next four years paying off loans for the next 10 years when he gets out, and already have more millions put away and she'd be like, I'm so proud. It wasn't like a corrective thing. I was just, you know, so I think all of that though, when I looked back, it was just such a deep level of brokenness and inadequacy that I just always had approved. And then now here I am at the top of the industry with magic and you know, Ali and Frazier and you know, Pam, Pamela Anderson and Chevy Chase and smokin Joe Frazier. So it's a recipe for disaster, man, you know, and the luck started coming. And I started developing and working out and the girls start comping left and right. I'm just frickin doing whatever the heck I gotta frickin do to uphold this image that my entire class is like, holy shit. Darren prince made it bigger than every single one of us is this world famous agent that's on the sideline of the Superbowl and, you know, backstage passes and walk in the red carpet at the MTV VMAs and all these big award shows, and I just ate it all up. I thought that's what what my calling was meant to be. And, you know, I need I needed a lot of driving force. I needed the expensive sports cars to be driving an Acura NSX, souped up at 21 years old that cost me $200,000 First person to buy a house and you know, the jewelry and the diamond Rolex is and now I look now and this is me. I could go on buy a new Rolex tomorrow. It's not what makes me happy.

Brandon Handley 17:00
Sure. For sure. Sure. Well, let's get there. Right, like so where where's the drugs wear off? Right? You realize you'd lost your superpowers on one night, right? You go to pop the oxys and they're not doing what you need them to be doing? What happens then you panic. I mean, what where's it all got panicked.

Darren Prince 17:21
I went down to this corporate event in the conference room this ballroom and I couldn't figure out for the life of me what was going on. And the next day the same thing happened and I'm in Florida by myself two days later, and I found a different way to ingest it. That gave me a little bit of a buds I started snorting my oxys my Percocet and my bike and it's, you know, I kind of mostly live that way. For another four or five years had an overdose and Las Vegas came back after that overdose finally in New Jersey, and called an addiction psychiatrist told me I was an opiate addict put me on Suboxone, but never go to a therapist and lie to him like I did because he didn't hit a nail. I was taking Xanax and Valium and mood stabilizers and antidepressants and anxiety. Every anxiety pill that I can get my hands on and snorting Ambien the frog went to bed at night and still drinking a couple of days a week and Mike Mike died awakening came on July 1 As you heard that I yeah, my Uncle Steve made the rest in peace in his own girlfriend Andrea. I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired at the jumping off point. My ego was too big. I'm too important to go to rehab I can't lock myself up for 30 days and she just came into my condo at the time I never met her and it was a godsend. She's like, I've never met you but are you okay? And I told her I told her everything I never had such an honest conversation but the human in my life and I just felt drawn to her. And she looked at me and said devalue an advocate below so manage by see that she could be related to you are powerless and said yes. And she because all this started looking at all the photos on the walls with all the celebrities and awards and different things that I've gotten because none of this means anything because you don't mean anything to yourself. Do you realize that the disease of addiction does not discriminate it doesn't matter for from Park Avenue or park bench or if you've gone to Yale or jail and that broke my soul. And here I am the so called Big Time super agent broke down and cried and she goes it's okay on each because I just celebrated five years sober last week. pulls out a five year coin at her pocket. And she goes Do you want to get sober he wanted to anything that takes us at anything she because you have to put this before everything in your life and occur what it is if you lose the business, you don't want to lose your life but you can do this and I can show you the SOP period so right and was beautiful life. And yeah, she put me on a 36 hour detox plan and that next night was seven o'clock on a Sunday night July 2 I came back from the gym I was living at the Caroline building. I was married man and I came back from the gym. It's my third workout at the gym clinic do everything I can to get the dopamine going and the endorphins and came up I called them I said I can't frickin do this. I'm going to call the doctor I gotta get whatever we got to get my ankle struck Yellin on the other end and said, It's the goddamn disease talking of time, kick the crap out of it. You've been doing this since you were 14 years old. He was in recovery as well. He was back in recovery. He struggled for years until he passed and I said I can't frickin do this because you have to get yourself to a damn meeting, put your hands up and tell these people who are sick and suffering you need help and I hung up the phone ran in the bathroom, I shut the door I'm going from medicine cab and looking for Klonopin or some other non narcotic anxiety meds, take the craving away and out came to Vikings. I don't want to pull bottles, which was just shocking because Simona and on my axe, we spent hours going through other medicine cabinets two days before mine 36 hours before when Andrea said you got to get them all out of the house. You know, I'm weaning them off Suboxone. And I thought it was the gap that that is exactly what I need a man that bloods that God moment in that split second just when I needed. And the miracle happened because I thought on my knees for the first time in my life. I never called up to God like this before. And I've never done it since I pray every single night to him now. And I said God, take the money, take the notoriety of the business, I don't care, I need a single day of freedom to feel like little Darren when I was a young kid again, I'll do whatever it takes. If you take me out of hell. I will spend one day at a time the rest of my life using my platform take another jet with the exact words that I said. And it was like a lightning bolt. Because their shoulder was literally felt like somebody had a blowtorch on it. And I heard in this year as a voice. Say I'd got you and you're ready. And I stood up. And this hand opens and I flushed the opiates left in the living room on to computer there's no Uber back then. And I searched 12 step meetings near me and I found a church. So little ways away in the upper 80s Because it was late at night on Sunday had had an 8pm meeting and jumped right in a taxi cab and I looked up on this gorgeous summer, July 2 2008. I said to myself, Oh my God, for the first time of my life, I wanted to stay sober. More than 100 Get Hired What the heck just happened and I walked into a church basement 150 to 200 addicts, alcoholics that were at once to a hopeless state of mind and later send anybody new coming back sick and suffering or struggling and Sam went right up. And I know, he lifted it. And I came playing in front of a roomful of strangers. And it just came out. I said, I'm sick, I'm suffering. I'm suicide. Amazing life. And I didn't know why I'm doing this myself. But I need you guys help. And, you know, in that moment, I had to get to desperation. And I was crying out to get the power of choice back in my life and these people but it doesn't spiritual brothers and sisters, right after I said that, which was so key, came over to me and started kind of talking to me intimately in a soft tone voice not to disrupt the meeting. And they said, You're in the right place. We've been where you've been. Keep coming. You know, if you aren't what we have, do what we do. Take the car out of yours, put it in her mouth. We will love you before you ever learn how to love yourself. And then the one that was just magical, they said, keep coming to AAA. And don't worry about if you get it, because if you keep showing up. It's gonna get you nice. And that was that I felt in that room during that hour man. A connection that I never felt in my life. Ever Brandon, it was just I've heard things like I do that. Oh my God, that's my oh my god. And it was like, it was like just to add a body experience where no therapist, no drug. I literally felt it was almost like the dark side of me clearing out of my body. Yeah, immersed and obsessed with me and nothing can be for my in person meetings. I did the 99 date. I eventually got my sponsor Steve Delaval who just celebrated 35 years. You know, and once I hit that, probably six month mark because, you know, you're doing pretty good. He goes, I just got to tell you. You want to keep this gift, right? I said yeah, he goes over doing stuff. We're gonna wrap up the steps probably by the end of the first year. I'm not rushing, you throw it because your drug addiction wants to rush, your substitute, Rush. But once we get there, you want to keep this gift that I'm giving you. You better be prepared to give it away. I'd others. And once I started doing that, after that one year more hope and recovery began to heal on the Cleon.

Brandon Handley 25:09
I love this and like, I think that, you know, if I looked at this through, you know, part parts of this to just general spirituality, you that part where you, you flushed down the pills, right? You opened yourself up to receive, you know, the higher power, right? You let it come and through and through you, you surrendered, like, you're like I can't do like, I'm not doing this life anymore. And you recognize this like power of choice, I love that you bring up the power of choice, you realize that? Maybe you that had been taken away from you for a moment, were because of your addiction. Right? So being able to say like, I want that back in my life. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about your what? You know, for somebody that's not familiar with step work. Tell me Tell tell the group a little bit about it. Because I think that one part of it, and I'm not a stepper there. And so I just happen to be familiar with the space. And I've gone through the steps without doing the steps, right. So it's really cool to see, like, oh, wow, what I did is in alignment with this thing. So tell the audience a little bit about it. If they're not familiar,

Darren Prince 26:30
you have the 12 steps. I actually emailed my girlfriend, Nicolette them a couple of weeks ago. She's young and like anyone at any age, really, but especially young is working on our own clearing and healing and stuff. And my whole point to her was everybody can use these every single day. Yeah, alcohol is only mentioned in the first step for a reason to reason over 212 Step organizations around the globe with an adapted from a built up even talked about created on June 10, in 1935. You know, it's about meeting a powerless, that life has become unmanageable, whatever error that might be. It's about kind of coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore you to sanity. It's about taking your own personal inventory. It's about making amends to the people that you've harmed along the way. But also in a way that you don't farm them or others, it's about continuously taking your personal inventory. And when you're wrong, promptly admitted, no matter what area of recovery, you might be in or healing. You have to be vigilant every single day. And then, you know, it's about maintaining that constant contact and whatever that area of recovery or healing that you've attained and achieved giving it somebody else. Yeah. That is the magic. That's what has given me the self esteem. Yeah, that adult due respect I love them to death their dear family friends at this point, magical Ric Flair. Charlie Sheen, Chevy Chase criminal electorate, that young, beautiful people, they never gave it to me. I got it from my spiritual brothers and sisters. And I get it every time I give this away to somebody because I have a God given gift. And I've kept my word. Anybody that works with me sees it. There's not a single day that goes by I still might not get to in person meetings as much as I used to. I'm doing that more I'm still doing zoom meetings, but there's not a single day that I'm not doing something connect with somebody in recovery. You know, I'm on the board of Banyan treatment centers I do whatever I can to scholarship people there. I've gotten people to oaks recover. I've gotten people to know facts house using funds that I've raised from my aiming high foundation, but the greatest thing in the world because I'm not just giving them an opportunity to get a new life I'm helping every single human in their life. The benefit of this person getting their life back. And it's the greatest feeling in the world. I could lose all the money tomorrow and lose the business tomorrow. We don't live in this beautiful place in Brentwood, but I found me found me and the heartbreaking part about all that I've ever lost like I said, it's everybody that's so near and dear to me that I do what I can to take care of and make their lives better financially. I might not have that but Darren Prince could have be all good. I mean, you're gonna speak and at the same Darren friends that was paying found his purpose. Right

Brandon Handley 29:33
now. I love that and kind of what you're talking about. There's your, your scene like that image where, you know, one one match strikes and lights and other right. That's what you're doing is helping others to light themselves up and see kind of the truth of who they are the power, the connection that they've got.

Darren Prince 29:53
But that when that just one gets finished. I've had so many that have been just mine Long when I see the lights come on in somebody's eyes. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 30:08
I mean, that's, that's me. That's when you realize kind of what your purpose is right?

Darren Prince 30:11
Obviously with my dear friend Jen Cohen last night just a huge podcast habits and hustle one of the top 10 Business podcasts in the world. There's Mark Cuban, I just know, helped her out. She got him and she said Gary Vee and Eric Thomas and she did a podcast that was out in the Middle East. These guys reached out to Scott Bo Hopkins, for me and her oddly, we had no idea I went to first she went the second I had the entire crew, including the whole, in tears multiple times to the interview, because he had something similar not to drugs in the alcohol, but he understood the brokenness, he understood the looking back, Spencer, the host, and she goes, You have no idea when I got there. I was like, why am I here? While they're talking about is Darren's don't like he had every single one of us in tears. Like, he took us to a different level of accountability and recognizing either flaws or what we've been through, because I think that's what God wants, wants me to do. You know, I'm not afraid to tell people at all mistakes I've made and continue to make, and my character flaws and my character defects because it's a free feeling. Yeah, liberation for 99% of this world. I think it's smoke and mirrors, and everybody's got something out there trying to cover up. You know, me my background

Brandon Handley 31:33
right here. I'm trying to cover up my background right now.

Darren Prince 31:39
I'm like, Man, I don't know if you put on a little bit of weight to try to buy, just to just to be able to have that for the first time of my life and this type of being made and said, I stomach. I'm not perfect, better quality mistakes lashed out. And this mouth can get me in trouble or texting or emailing. But I'm way better than I've ever been. I tell people try to say what you mean mean what you say don't say we try to scam people, instead of you being understood. I think in the heat of an argument for anybody listening, and you're about to open up your big fat mouth. Don't engage. And it's better to feel alright. And right. If you're 100%, right. The strength is keeping your mouth shut. Don't send that text don't send that email. Because in five or 10 minutes, whatever you're about to explode about forgotten like that. And that's how you build your spiritual relevancy built discipline that to yell at change of character defects to staying in alignment to manifest to your higher self. And I've gotten so good at that again, not perfect. Yeah. But filthy her will hurt me with my mom a handful of times. It's not easy. Sure. My girlfriend, I'll tell you but I am so much better than I've ever been. I'm aware of it. I'm vigilant. I have to weigh out. Take a deep breath. Which is why I'm looking forward to working with you. Be fun battered i Yeah, it could be Brett. Is this worth it was also in recovery. We say we're not doormats. Occasionally. My sponsor stabbed a laptop, my it things have to come out a certain way. Get out. But y'all know if you're right and wrong when you're in recovery. If you have that emotional hangover, there has been times I've had to put people in their place. I'll hang up the phone, go on with my day, not even think twice about it. Sure. Oh, my gosh, I know that it was something that had to be done. So people can understand the way I expect things to be done.

Brandon Handley 33:43
For sure. Right. Yeah. I mean, I like that. Not being a doormat part, I think, um, could you help, maybe see, to be of service but not a servant. Right? Because I think a lot of us, especially when we find that we want to be of service, right and go out there. We contend to let ourselves be taken advantage of but again, become more of a servant than off service. Explain a little bit of that, that difference there.

Darren Prince 34:11
I think there's a huge difference when I say you got to become selfish, to be selfless. And the truth is, again, we're all trying to better ourselves. We're trying to feel better about ourselves, not externally, internally. So if you allow yourself to not be of service, but be assertive, and you're still not in a place to live in your higher self, you're you're a yes person and you're being told what to do. You're not living the life that you