Stories this week include:

• Amazon workers told to write to the Almighty Mascot of Consumerism if they want their prayers answered.
• Takeaway goes on charm offensive after receiving backlash for issuing costumer with 1,000 year ban.
• Llewelyn-Bowen's 'winter wonderland of magic and drama' closes after reports of rude and unhelpful staff, a broken 'magic train', rubbish cheap unwrapped presents and workmen sat around smoking.
• Festive season sees rise in penile fractures due to extramarital affairs and sex in unusual locations.

Wishing all our listeners a happy and prosperous 2024!

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