Waking Up to Narcissism

Tony Overbay LMFT

"Waking Up to Narcissism" is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning Virtual Couch podcast, dedicated to helping individuals recognize and navigate narcissistic traits and tendencies in their relationships and within themselves. With a focus on emotional immaturity versus narcissism, Tony provides tools and guidance for personal growth and managing relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals, even if that individual is you! read less
Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

From Grandiose to Vulnerable With a Touch of Emotional Immaturity - Exploring Attachment Styles Pt1 of 2
Yesterday
From Grandiose to Vulnerable With a Touch of Emotional Immaturity - Exploring Attachment Styles Pt1 of 2
Tony zooms in on emotional immaturity, grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, and how they affect relationships. He illustrates these concepts with hypothetical scenarios and emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between healthy ego and pathological defensive narcissism. He also briefly highlights how developing a healthy ego can contribute to personal growth and better relationships. Part two of this episode will dig deeper into the origin stories of narcissistic personality disorder and further explore the different attachment styles. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome to the Show 00:21 Understanding Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism 00:43 Exploring Attachment Styles and Narcissism 01:41 Real-Life Scenarios: Planning a Weekend Getaway 03:20 The Impact of Narcissism on Relationships 08:39 Introduction to Narcissism and Healthy Ego 12:28 Real-Life Scenarios: The Stay-at-Home Mom and the Emotionally Immature Husband 17:28 Healthy Ego vs Pathological Defensive Narcissism 22:16 Understanding the Healthy Ego 22:43 Pathological Defensive Narcissism 23:37 Personal Journey: From Software Marketing to Therapy 24:10 Finding Purpose and Building a Healthy Ego 25:40 Embracing Criticism and Personal Growth 27:06 The Role of Relationships in Personal Development 27:34 Reflecting on Past Experiences and Growth 30:44 Understanding Narcissism: Vulnerable and Grandiose 32:11 The Impact of Narcissism on Relationships 35:00 Differentiating Between Vulnerable Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity 44:31 Understanding the Origins of Narcissistic Personality Disorder 44:52 Closing Remarks and Preview of Part Two Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Embracing Popcorn Moments: Finding Strength in Non-Reaction
Feb 13 2024
Embracing Popcorn Moments: Finding Strength in Non-Reaction
Tony discusses "Popcorn Moments" - those crucial instances where choosing not to react to narcissistic or emotionally immature behavior can be the most powerful response. This episode dives into how strategic non-engagement can be vital for personal growth and self-realization. Through listener emails and expert discussion, Tony sheds light on the significance of these moments in understanding and dealing with manipulative dynamics. You will learn about the importance of recognizing gaslighting, the empowerment that comes from setting personal boundaries, and the liberating process of differentiation. Tony offers advice on how to turn potentially draining interactions into opportunities for learning autonomy and fostering emotional resilience. Join Tony as he explores the transformative potential of observing rather than participating in the emotional chaos often presented by narcissists. Discover how creating "Popcorn Moments" can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and help you navigate your way to people who can provide healthier relationship dynamics. 00:01 Introduction and Listener Emails 01:52 Understanding Narcissistic Traits and Emotional Immaturity 03:57 Personal Story: Emotional Growth and Consistency 11:06 Exploring Popcorn Moments and Gaslighting 13:00 Listener Poem and Reflection 18:12 Deep Dive into Popcorn Moments 20:20 Understanding Narcissistic Tactics 21:15 Recognizing Gaslighting and Manipulation 21:50 The Power of Popcorn Moments 22:17 Shifting Dynamics and Gaining Empowerment 22:40 The Importance of Boundaries and Self-Respect 23:10 Moving Forward and Beyond Narcissistic Games 23:54 The Five Foolproof Formulas for Navigating Narcissistic Nonsense 24:05 The Importance of Self-Care and Emotional Baseline 25:45 Understanding and Dealing with Gaslighting 27:06 Exiting Unproductive Conversations 28:03 Mastering the Art of Boundary Setting 30:32 The Myth of the Aha Moment 31:40 The Power of Popcorn Moments Revisited 34:36 The Power of Differentiation 36:09 The Role of Differentiation in the Five Foolproof Formulas 43:47 Conclusion: The Journey of Becoming Differentiated Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Unmasking Family Roles in a Narcissistic/Emotionally Immature Household
Jan 31 2024
Unmasking Family Roles in a Narcissistic/Emotionally Immature Household
Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the hidden dynamics and assigned roles within dysfunctional and narcissistic family systems. The podcast outlines the roles of the Enabler, the Hero, the Scapegoat, the Lost Child, and the Mascot, all of whom are developed as coping mechanisms to manage family stress and chaos. Each role is reviewed in depth, including the implications for the individual's development, identity, and potential for later life challenges and relationships. The episode also emphasizes the importance of recognizing these roles, seeking therapeutic support, and redefining one's identity beyond these imposed familial expectations. 00:00 Introduction and Riddle 01:07 Understanding the Role You Play 01:15 Welcome to Episode 106: Uncovering Narcissistic Family Dynamics 01:42 The Concept of a Perfect Family 04:08 The Impact of Dysfunctional Families on Children 11:49 The Role of the Enabler in Dysfunctional Families 12:13 Denise's Story: A Case Study 15:22 Understanding Family Roles and Dynamics 16:19 The Enabler: A Deep Dive 21:07 The Concept of an Old Soul in Psychology 22:01 The Bittersweet Compliment: Acknowledging Resilience and Sacrifice 22:21 The Hero: The Lead Actor in a Dysfunctional Family 23:50 The Golden Child: The Hero's Struggle 27:01 The Scapegoat: The Misunderstood Hero 29:58 The Lost Child: The Unseen and Unheard 36:31 The Mascot: The Family's Beacon of Light and Laughter 39:02 Reflections: Understanding the Complex Roles in Dysfunctional Families 43:24 The Journey Towards Healing and Change 44:48 Conclusion: Transcending the Roles and Writing Your Own Narrative Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Understanding the Impact of Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents
Jan 23 2024
Understanding the Impact of Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents
Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the impact of narcissistic or emotionally immature parents on their children. Drawing from a personal letter sent in by a listener, as well as clinical cases and research, Tony explores the hallmarks of narcissistic and emotionally immature parenting and how these behaviors shape children's emotional development and future relationships. This episode emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and adjustment in parenting to break harmful patterns and create secure attachments. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:10 Understanding Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents 00:27 Promoting the Host's Other Platforms and Activities 01:22 Introducing the Concept of Narcissist Immunity 02:12 Personal Story of Dealing with Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents 03:09 The Impact of Narcissistic Immunity on Personal Relationships 04:54 The Role of Emotional Maturity in Parenting 12:32 Understanding the Difference Between Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents 18:33 Introducing Carl's Story: Growing Up with a Narcissistic Mother and Emotionally Immature Father 22:29 The Impact of Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents on Carl's Life 26:33 The Role of Memory and Confabulation in Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Behavior 28:14 The Fear of Abandonment in Narcissistic Relationships 28:46 Understanding Carl's Story: A Case Study 29:34 The Impact of Parental Expectations on Children 29:42 The Role of Emotional Regulation in Parenting 30:22 The Journey to Self-Acceptance: Carl's Story 30:58 The Power of Whole Object Relations in Therapy 32:08 The Influence of Childhood Experiences on Career Choices 35:27 The Impact of Narcissistic Parents on Children 44:13 The Struggle to Love the Real Child: A Parent's Challenge 47:54 The Emotional Consequences of Unmet Expectations 52:26 The Role of Empathy in Parenting 53:24 The Importance of Healthy Relationship Patterns 56:08 Conclusion: The Journey to Secure Attachment Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Emotional Whiplash in Narcissistic/Emotionally Immature Relationships
Jan 17 2024
Emotional Whiplash in Narcissistic/Emotionally Immature Relationships
Tony tackles the topic of emotional whiplash in narcissistic relationships. He explores how people can feel loved and appreciated one moment and then demeaned and dismissed the next by a narcissistic partner, leading to confusion and emotional turmoil. Using the story of Sarah and Mike, he unpacks this unpredictable and damaging dynamic. Tony also explains concepts like whole object relations and object constancy and how they become compromised in emotionally immature relationships. He finally provides a broad range of personal experiences from his listeners, further illustrating the impact of emotional whiplash in people's lives. 00:00 Introduction and Topic Presentation 00:23 Understanding Emotional Whiplash 00:37 Real-Life Example: Sarah and Mike's Story 04:26 Concepts of Whole Object Relations and Object Constancy 05:32 Narcissistic Emotional Whiplash 06:14 Impact of Emotional Whiplash on Relationships 07:05 Understanding Mike's Emotional Immaturity 12:18 Sarah's Struggles and Emotional Whiplash 16:49 Real-Life Examples of Emotional Whiplash 36:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Can You Ever Express YOUR Feelings to Narcissists and Feel Seen?
Jan 9 2024
Can You Ever Express YOUR Feelings to Narcissists and Feel Seen?
If you say “it” the right way, will the narcissist ever get “it” whatever “it” is? Tony introduces his 'Five Foolproof Formulas for Navigating Narcissistic Nonsense,' which helps maintain emotional stability and a sense of self in challenging relationships. Tony also critically analyzes a passage from the book 'Rethinking Narcissism' by Dr. Craig Malkin, where he finds a logical inconsistency that might give false hope to 'pathologically kind persons' who constantly try to induce 'aha moments' in their narcissistic partners. He also highlights the concept of differentiation of self and its importance in maintaining one’s emotional stability and sense of self in the face of challenging dynamics in relationships with narcissistic individuals. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:45 Understanding the Impact of Stress on Physical Health 02:36 Upcoming Topics and Listener Engagement 05:23 Exploring the Concept of Narcissism 06:09 Dissecting a Book Passage on Narcissism 08:47 The Five Foolproof Formulas for Navigating Narcissistic Nonsense 15:52 Understanding Healthy Ego and Pathological Defensive Narcissism 17:07 Analyzing a Book on Narcissism 22:58 Contradictions in Narcissism Advice 24:53 Understanding the Power of Self-Blame 25:30 The Pathologically Kind Person and Their Burden of Responsibility 26:54 The Struggle for Control in Relationships 28:16 Personal Story: The Impact of Powerlessness 34:42 The Importance of Differentiation in Relationships 36:51 The Dangers of Emotional Inconsistency 40:06 The Reality of Expressing Feelings to a Narcissist 47:11 The Role of Differentiation in Dealing with Narcissists 54:24 Conclusion: Knowing When to Engage and When to Step Back Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Navigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting with the Emotionally Immature/Narcissist
Jan 2 2024
Navigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting with the Emotionally Immature/Narcissist
Tony unpacks the complexities of co-parenting with a narcissistic or emotionally immature individual. Addressing a listener's question, Tony delves into the nature of developing children, labeling them as 'little narcissists' due to their inherently self-centered perspective. Tony identifies this as a critical stage of normal human development and explains how these traits vary distinctively in the adult narcissist. He also shares his four-pillar framework for effective communication - assuming good intentions, avoiding declaring the other person wrong, asking questions before commenting, and leaning in and staying present. He demonstrates how these can be applied in co-parenting scenarios. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:17 Reflecting on the Past and Looking Forward 00:58 Discussing Parenting and Co-Parenting 01:37 Understanding the Impact of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist 02:06 Exploring the Concept of 'Little Narcissists' 02:46 Case Study: Sarah's Experience with Divorce 04:03 The Importance of Communication in Parenting 05:07 Understanding the Impact of Parental Decisions on Children 06:01 The Role of Therapy in Understanding Childhood Experiences 06:15 Understanding the Self-Centered Nature of Children 07:08 The Impact of Parental Divorce on Children 09:26 Navigating Parenting Challenges with a Difficult Partner 11:47 Understanding the Concept of 'Little Narcissists' in Parenting 14:59 The Difference Between Healthy Self-Care and Emotionally Immature Selfishness 25:34 Understanding Egosyntonic and Ego-Dystonic Concepts in Parenting 28:44 Understanding Egosyntonic Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 29:14 Co-parenting with a Narcissistic or Emotionally Immature Partner 29:27 The Importance of Fostering Healthy Development in Children 30:30 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 31:41 Applying the Four Pillars in Different Contexts 35:27 The Role of the Four Pillars in Co-parenting 57:53 The Impact of the Four Pillars on Children 01:00:02 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Still Wondering if YOU Are the Narcissist/Did They Finally “Get it?” - Introducing “Shelf Life”
Dec 21 2023
Still Wondering if YOU Are the Narcissist/Did They Finally “Get it?” - Introducing “Shelf Life”
“If I’m asking if I’m the narcissist, then Tony says I’m not!” Tony shares that he receives more feedback on this concept than any other from WUTN listeners. But what happens when the narcissist or emotionally immature person in your life gets ahold of this “script?” Does simply repeating this sentence elicit change? Tony details this question and introduces the concept of 'shelf life', a temporary behavioral change in emotionally immature people. We debate the question, 'If you're asking yourself if you're a narcissist, then are you one?' and touch on the use of therapy or self-help methods as tools for manipulation. As we progress through the episode, we discuss how 'John' used therapy to manipulate 'Emily' and appear as a problem solver rather than acknowledging his shortcomings. Overall, the episode is an insightful exploration of emotional immaturity, narcissistic traits, and manipulative behaviors in relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Story of John and Emily 01:27 The Breaking Point and Decision to Seek Therapy 02:09 Initial Therapy Session and Promises Made 03:22 The Short-lived Change and Return to Old Patterns 05:47 Understanding the Concept of 'Shelf Life' in Emotional Change 09:08 The Power of Writing and Self-Expression 15:04 The Narcissist's Reaction to the Podcast 16:27 Doubts, Confusion, and the Struggle to Stay Strong 32:53 Recognizing the Difference: Working on Things vs. Escaping Discomfort 33:15 The Narcissist in Therapy: A Case Study 33:37 The Power of Self-Questioning: Are You the Narcissist? 34:07 The Concept of Shelf Life and Positive Tension 34:37 The Nurtured Heart Approach: A Parenting Model 35:40 The Struggle of Change: A Personal Story 36:10 Trusting Your Gut: Recognizing Manipulation in Therapy 36:39 The Aha Moment: Acceptance and Curiosity 37:37 The Ultimatum: Divorce or Seek Help 39:40 The Journey of Awakening: Acknowledging the Past and Embracing the Future 40:05 The Reality of Narcissism: Recognizing Traits and Codependency 41:59 The Power of Community: Reading Comments from the Group 51:02 The Story of John and Emily: A Case Study on Shelf Life 52:39 Understanding Shelf Life: Temporary Behavioral Change 56:54 The Power of Self-Reflection: Embracing Solitude Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Kate Anthony, Author of “The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage” on Deciphering Divorce, Confronting Decisions, and Embracing Empowerment
Dec 13 2023
Kate Anthony, Author of “The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage” on Deciphering Divorce, Confronting Decisions, and Embracing Empowerment
Tony and Kate Anthony, divorce coach and author of “The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage,” (https://amzn.to/47V1AKe) unpack the complex dynamics involved with the decision to stay or leave a relationship, typically with an emotionally immature or narcissistic partner. Kate shares her divorce story and explores the importance of establishing personal boundaries and self-care throughout the journey. The conversation discusses the fundamental need for individuals to recognize and reclaim their right to happiness outside a dysfunctional marital relationship. They also talk about the impact of staying in an emotionally abusive relationship for the sake of the kids and the different roles that a therapist and coach can play in the helping process. You can find out more about Kate at her website http://kateanthony.com and if you are looking for safe ways to purchase the book, please visit http://kateanthony.com/dword 00:01 Introduction and Initial Banter 00:14 Discussing Kate's Book and Its Impact 01:08 Kate's Journey and Her Book's Purpose 01:46 The Role of Narcissism in Relationships 02:36 Kate's Personal Experience with Narcissism 03:16 The Impact of Divorce and Making the Decision 05:22 The Aftermath of Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship 06:31 The Role of Codependency in Relationships 13:18 Kate's Career in Acting and Its Influence 16:21 The Importance of Choosing Yourself 22:33 The Process of Knowing When to Leave 24:05 The Power of Self-Acknowledgement 24:23 Understanding the Impact of Denial 24:39 The Importance of Self-Admission 25:12 The Struggle of Facing the Truth 25:29 The Role of Therapists and Coaches 25:50 The Concept of Leading Indicators 26:42 The Reality of Unhealthy Relationships 27:09 The Process of Decision Making 27:32 The Power of Self-Empowerment 27:41 The Role of Coaches in Decision Making 27:47 The Impact of Direct Communication 28:10 The Importance of Authenticity in Relationships 28:23 The Role of Therapists in Decision Making 28:56 The Collaboration between Therapists and Coaches 29:14 The Importance of Training for Coaches 29:38 The Role of Therapists in Guiding Decisions 29:58 The Challenge of Taking Action 30:30 The Importance of Addressing the Impact on Kids 30:42 The Reality of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist 31:27 The Impact of Divorce on Kids 32:00 The Importance of Authenticity in Parenting 32:14 The Reality of Staying for the Kids 41:33 The Importance of Choosing Happiness 43:11 The Importance of Living Your Truth 43:13 The Importance of Living Authentically 43:52 The Importance of Choosing Love over Control 44:14 The Importance of Self-Care 44:17 The Importance of Being Enough for Yourself Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Understanding the Complexity of Apologies & The Difficulties of Happiness
Dec 6 2023
Understanding the Complexity of Apologies & The Difficulties of Happiness
Tony Overbay discusses some individuals' challenges when attempting to issue sincere and effective apologies. He discusses our evolutionary predisposition to spot danger and make comparisons, making happiness and contentment difficult to maintain. Tony explores the concepts of self-compassion, mindful self-reflection, and effective apology skills, which he believes are critical for personal growth and emotional maturity. He helps listeners understand how growing up with emotionally immature or narcissistic parents can shape an individual's understanding of taking responsibility for one's actions. He provides insights into why narcissistic individuals in particular, struggle with apologies and explains the steps to deliver a genuine apology. 00:00 Introduction and Hardest Words to Say 00:25 The Difficulty of Saying Sorry 01:37 Welcome to the Podcast and Host Introduction 01:45 The Origin of Apology Difficulty 03:12 The Evolutionary Perspective on Apologies 05:48 The Role of Comparison and Inadequacy in Apologies 07:25 The Impact of Fear of Abandonment on Apologies 13:20 The Art of Making a Sincere and Effective Apology 20:26 The Importance of Context in Apologies 24:40 Relevance of Apologies in Today's World 25:18 Understanding the Impact of Emotionally Immature Parents 25:55 The Role of Therapy in Understanding Emotional Immaturity 26:36 The Importance of Apologies and Taking Ownership 27:40 The Assumption of Badness: Misconceptions about Admitting Fault 28:47 Breaking Free from the Cycle of Non-Accountability 29:26 The Role of Self-Compassion in Offering Effective Apologies 30:32 Understanding the Six Steps of an Apology 35:45 The Challenge of Offering Genuine Apologies for Emotionally Immature Individuals 36:01 The Dangers of Superficial Apologies 41:16 The Power of Self-Compassion and Mindful Self-Reflection 44:11 Conclusion: Action-Based Takeaways for Personal Growth Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Abuse, God, and Self-Discovery with Ryan Anderson, PhD., LMFT, and Author of 'The Choice to Leave Abuse'
Nov 29 2023
Abuse, God, and Self-Discovery with Ryan Anderson, PhD., LMFT, and Author of 'The Choice to Leave Abuse'
How does abuse impact an individual's spirituality and relationship with God? And how critical is it for a spiritual leader to be non-judgmental, empathetic, and compassionate when someone comes into their office talking about abuse? These critical questions are at the heart of today’s episode. Tony Overbay, LMFT, engages in an insightful conversation with Ryan Anderson, PhD, LMFT, and author of "The Choice to Leave Abuse." This episode explores the complex issue of abuse, especially within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), and addresses many common misconceptions about the role of the authority figure in a church congregation. They touch on the prevalence and damaging effects of emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits on relationships and in church leadership. A significant part of the discussion focuses on epigenetics, shedding light on how abuse impacts individuals at a genetic level and offers hope for healing and growth. The episode also addresses the sensitive topic of spiritual abuse within the LDS community. Overbay and Anderson examine the hesitancy of community leaders to confront and address abuse, highlighting the urgent need for supportive environments. They dissect the stigmas and misconceptions in the community, emphasizing the importance of making decisions prioritizing personal well-being and safety. While centered on the LDS community, the themes discussed in this episode have universal relevance. Topics like emotional intelligence, the far-reaching impact of abuse, and the crucial role of support for survivors transcend religious and cultural boundaries. The conversation between Overbay and Anderson serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of empowerment and support for survivors, asserting that spirituality and one's relationship with God should aid, not hinder, the journey to overcome abuse. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Too Smart for Their Own Good: Why Narcissists Love Conspiracy Theories
Nov 21 2023
Too Smart for Their Own Good: Why Narcissists Love Conspiracy Theories
Ever wondered why some highly educated people fall for outlandish conspiracy theories? Dive into the latest episode of 'Waking Narcissism' with host Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as he tackles this intriguing question. This thought-provoking episode explores the unexpected relationship between education, narcissism, and susceptibility to conspiracy theories, based on insights from Mark Travers, PhD's article 'Educated Narcissists Fall for Conspiracy Theories.'https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202310/why-educated-narcissists-fall-for-conspiracy-theories Tony starts by differentiating between narcissism and emotional immaturity, shedding light on how these distinct traits influence an individual's worldview. Discover why people with high levels of narcissistic traits like grandiosity and a need for uniqueness, particularly those who are well-educated, might be more inclined to believe in conspiracy theories. The episode delves deep into the concepts of cognitive reflection and the Dunning-Kruger effect, illustrating how critical thinking and self-awareness can diminish the impact of narcissism on belief in unfounded theories. Through real-life examples, anecdotal stories, and actionable insights, Tony emphasizes the importance of introspection, humility, and the continuous pursuit of knowledge. Join us for an enlightening journey into the psychological underpinnings of conspiracy theory susceptibility and learn how to navigate a world brimming with complex and often misleading information with a critical and open mind. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Why Do I Keep Losing My Crap, My Mind, and My Memory? Understanding Amygdala Hijack in Relationships
Nov 15 2023
Why Do I Keep Losing My Crap, My Mind, and My Memory? Understanding Amygdala Hijack in Relationships
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by intense emotions in a relationship, struggling to understand why your reactions seem out of your control? Especially if you, and most people in your life, view you as kind and caring rather than reactive and angry. Chances are that you’ve experienced the “amygdala hijack,” a survival technique that often seems to come out of nowhere but can be especially harmful in relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature people, as they often are the ones causing your brain to scream “fight, or flight!” Today, host Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives deep into the phenomenon of the amygdala hijack, particularly in the context of relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals. This episode unravels the intricate workings of the brain under emotional stress, focusing on how the amygdala, our emotional control center, can take over rational thinking. Tony discusses the critical role of primary and secondary emotions in triggering the body's stress response, highlighting the release of cortisol and its impact on our mental and physical health. The episode is a journey through the neuroscience of emotional processing, offering valuable insights into recognizing and managing the complex emotions that arise in challenging relationships. Tony brings to light the profound effects of prolonged emotional trauma, referencing the poignant phrase, "The body keeps score." The conversation delves into the risks associated with chronic stress and the development of conditions like Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) due to long-term exposure to narcissistic abuse. The episode is an exploration and a guide, providing practical strategies such as EMDR, talk therapy, mindfulness, and meditation to manage the overwhelming waves of amygdala hijack. It emphasizes the importance of professional support and the journey towards healing and understanding our emotional responses. Concluding with a message of compassion and self-reflection, this episode is a beacon of hope and resilience, encouraging listeners to take actionable steps toward recovery and emotional self-awareness in the face of the challenges of emotionally charged relationships. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Death by a Thousand Cuts - Episode 6: The Camouflaged Wounds - Seeing the Unseen
Nov 8 2023
Death by a Thousand Cuts - Episode 6: The Camouflaged Wounds - Seeing the Unseen
In installment 6 of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series - "The Camouflaged Wounds - Seeing the Unseen," Tony Overbay, LMFT, addresses the complex issue of covert abuse in relationships, often described metaphorically as 'Death by a Thousand Cuts'. Tony explores how small, often overlooked actions can accumulate significant emotional distress. The episode challenges listeners to recognize the subtle signs of an unhealthy relationship, where one's sense of self is slowly chipped away by a partner's emotionally immature or narcissistic behavior. In a more light-hearted tone, reflecting on the appeal of choose-your-own-adventure books, Tony uses humor as a therapeutic tool to guide listeners through the maze of such relationships. The discussion covers different forms of covert abuse, including psychological, emotional, and financial, offering real-life scenarios that illustrate the cumulative effect of these behaviors. Through candid storytelling, Tony aims to empower listeners to identify damaging patterns, engage in honest self-reflection, and take steps toward healing and healthier relationships. The episode serves as a practical guide for personal growth and encourages a deeper conversation about maintaining emotional well-being in the face of covert narcissistic abuse. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
The Power of Epigenetics: “Creating the Vitality You Crave” w/Lori Finlay
Nov 1 2023
The Power of Epigenetics: “Creating the Vitality You Crave” w/Lori Finlay
Tony talks with Lori Finlay, a nurse practitioner, board-certified health coach, and health expert with a unique background in cardiology and wellness medicine. Lori opens up about her personal struggles with chronic fatigue and premature menopause and how she took control of her health journey through the study of epigenetics. As she weaves her narrative, she touches on her frustrations with inadequate medical treatment and the critical importance of functional medicine. Utilizing the analogy of a piano, Lori illustrates how epigenetics—the top layer of our genetic wiring influenced by lifestyle—can be expressed differently, giving us control over our own wellness in a profound way. Lori expands the discussion to encompass a wide range of symptoms and experiences that many may encounter while grappling with life's challenges—from trauma and stress to divorce and betrayal. She delves into how stress hormones can even mimic symptoms of a heart attack and provides actionable advice for self-care routines to raise one’s physical and emotional baseline. Special focus is given to women's health, specifically the link between emotional stress and hormone imbalance and its relation to breast cancer. Lori suggests mindfulness exercises and practical biohacks, such as the simple yet effective use of clove and lime oils on the vagus nerve, to manage stress and improve overall well-being. Wrapping up, Lori shifts the spotlight to the urgent need for awareness and education, not just in women's breast health but also in men's health. She shares her insights on cutting-edge, holistic approaches to breast health and the relevance of early detection methods like the Dutch hormone test. The conversation even extends to the potential benefits of energy medicine and mindfulness in holistic healing. Listeners are left not only with an arsenal of information but also an invitation to Lori’s free breast health awareness webinar, making this episode an invaluable resource for anyone looking to take control of their health. You can take Lori’s free “Hormone Symptom Quiz here https://pages.lorifinlay.com/hormone-quiz and find out more about Lori and how she can help you “create the vitality you crave,” at https://lorifinlay.com/ Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
When 'Your Reality' Becomes a Weapon: Unpacking One of the Narcissist's Favorite Phrases
Oct 25 2023
When 'Your Reality' Becomes a Weapon: Unpacking One of the Narcissist's Favorite Phrases
Have you ever wondered how your perception shapes your relationships and what happens when it clashes with someone else's? In Episode 93 of the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast, host Tony Overbay cracks open this intricate topic by differentiating between 'perception' and 'perspective.' Not just a play on words, these two concepts wield significant power over your emotional and relational health. Tony unpacks how recognizing this distinction can be a game-changer, especially when dealing with emotionally immature or narcissistic individuals. Listen for real-life examples, including a compelling listener letter that illuminates the struggles of dealing with a partner who insists 'perception is reality’ and that they are the ultimate deliverer of truth or final say on what YOU think or feel. Tony dives deep into the transformative journey from codependence to interdependence. Through the heartwarming narrative of Sandra and Jason, discover how differentiation—the practice of developing separate thoughts, feelings, and identities while remaining emotionally connected—can serve as your secret weapon in any relationship. From setting boundaries to navigating manipulative tactics like the silent treatment, this episode gives you the tools to protect your emotional well-being while fostering genuine connection. Whether you're puzzled by your partner's narcissism or striving for a more interdependent relationship, Tony lays the roadmap for emotional growth and relational harmony. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
The Confabulation Conundrum: When Reality Gets Distorted
Oct 16 2023
The Confabulation Conundrum: When Reality Gets Distorted
Have you ever felt like someone is rewriting history, leaving you questioning your memory and sanity? What if there was a psychological explanation for this behavior? In today's episode, Tony revisits the concept of confabulation. Confabulation is a psychological mechanism where people create false memories or stories, often to fill gaps in their history or to avoid facing uncomfortable truths. We'll examine how this behavior is common among emotionally immature individuals and those with narcissistic tendencies. We'll also share real-life examples to help you recognize confabulation when it happens. Additionally, we'll discuss the principle of differentiation, which can help you separate your thoughts and feelings from those of emotionally immature individuals. This can be a valuable tool for personal growth and navigating complex relationships. If you've ever felt confused or gaslighted in interactions with someone and wondered why their story keeps changing, this episode aims to provide clarity and coping strategies. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
BONUS - Alone...But Not Really - Embracing Solitude from The Mind, The Mirror and Me Podcast w/Mackie Overbay
Oct 6 2023
BONUS - Alone...But Not Really - Embracing Solitude from The Mind, The Mirror and Me Podcast w/Mackie Overbay
Tony welcomes his daughter Mackie, host of "The Mind, the Mirror and Me" podcast, via this special bonus episode to talk about the important role that solitude can play in raising one's emotional baseline. Follow Mackie at https://www.instagram.com/beautybymackie/ or Tony's new "Waking Up to Narcissism" Instagram account at https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ or his regular account at https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ and you can subscribe to the podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5wchHyGlddGo7fAHVsZgRe?si=cb634082a4aa482a or Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687 or wherever you listen to podcasts. Here are the original show notes from the episode from "The Mind, the Mirror and Me." In this episode, hosts Mackie Overbay and Tony Overbay, LMFT, explore the distinction between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness often brings discomfort and isolation, while solitude is a positive choice, offering comfort and contentment in one's own company. This episode encourages embracing emotions and focusing on self-compassion. While loneliness can be challenging, it's a common human experience. Practical tips are discussed, from letting the mind wander to practicing "catching and releasing " thoughts and emotions. The importance of solo activities and finding joy independently is highlighted. Ultimately, the episode reminds listeners that solitude is transformative, promoting self-reflection, stability, and mindfulness. Individuals can courageously navigate loneliness by appreciating solitude, leading to positive changes. The journey to self-love and growth begins with embracing moments of solitude and realizing we are never truly alone.
Never Settle: Embracing Respect and Navigating Relationships with Emotionally Immature Partners
Oct 3 2023
Never Settle: Embracing Respect and Navigating Relationships with Emotionally Immature Partners
In today’s episode of "Waking Up to Narcissism," Tony Overbay, LMFT, examines relationships affected by narcissism and emotional immaturity. A listener shares a story about their partner's over-the-top reactions, including a helicopter rescue on a hike. The conversation then shifts to characteristics of healthy relationships and the pitfalls of dealing with emotionally immature partners. Another listener's letter prompts a promise to dive deeper into the challenges faced when partnered with a narcissist. The episode also references an article, "10 Things to Never Settle for in Relationships," by Bruce Y. Lee, MD, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-funny-bone-to-pick/202207/10-things-you-shouldnt-settle-for-in-relationships highlighting the dangers of settling and the critical role of mutual respect. Tony uses the “frog in a boiling pot of water” analogy for hopefully the last time in existence to explain how relationships can decline without notice. This episode underscores the importance of respect, open communication, and boundaries in maintaining a healthy relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature individual, group, or entity. The ice bath that Tony mentioned in today's episode is from "The Ice Pod" company - you can find it here https://snwbl.io/pod-company/ANTHONY78737 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Acceptance vs. Forgiveness: Which Harmonizes with Your Healing? Navigating Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity
Sep 25 2023
Acceptance vs. Forgiveness: Which Harmonizes with Your Healing? Navigating Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity
Forgive and forget. “Can’t we just let the past be in the past and move forward?” To someone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist or an extremely emotionally immature person, these concepts can have a negative impact, adding additional layers of guilt and shame to a situation already heavy with “what’s wrong with me?” messages. Today, Tony covers the contrasting concepts of 'acceptance' and 'forgiveness.' Explore why the nuanced understanding of acceptance, as outlined in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), can offer a more compassionate and realistic pathway to emotional well-being than traditional notions of forgiveness. Learn why acceptance is not just about tolerating but fully embracing your emotions, allowing you to deal with life's challenges in a healthier way. Tony then demystifies the often misunderstood terms of narcissism and emotional immaturity, emphasizing the importance of personal accountability in relationships. Discover the role of 'calm, confident energy' and how it facilitates emotional differentiation, aiding in healthier interpersonal interactions. Gain insights into the science behind mindfulness and why it's crucial for emotional clarity and self-awareness. Rounded with actionable steps to integrate these principles into your everyday life, this episode is a guide to becoming a more resilient and happier version of yourself." The ice bath that Tony mentioned in today's episode is from "The Ice Pod" company - you can find it here https://snwbl.io/pod-company/ANTHONY78737 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ