Stories this week include:
- 45% of UK adults cannot tell their arse from their elbow.
- Stranded sailor survives on ketchup, garlic powder and stock cubes.
- Drunk woman steals ferry whilst claiming to be Jack Sparrow.
- Aussie tradesman convinces fiancée to let him keep $3,000 sex dolls.
We ask 'where do you keep your sock unit'...?
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SmartLess
Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett