The Dad Joke King Episode 4

Title: Switzerland, The English language, Feeling Down and What a Cowboy Did in Texas. Plus The Dad Joke Medley.

This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to the Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn’t count on it.

In today’s show, I have a joke about Switzerland, also a joke about the thesaurus and the dictionary. I will tell you about a time I was feeling down. Then we’ve got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a parenting tip about getting your kids to bed on time that you will not want to miss. Oh yeah, stick around for the after show to hear a story about what a cowboy done in Texas.

(Let’s do that thang)

Do you know what the best thing about living in Switzerland is? I’m not sure either, but the flag is a big plus.

I bought the thesaurus I’ve always wanted, but when I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am. And my mom bought me a cheap dictionary for my birthday. I couldn’t find the words to thank her

Alright, here is the dad joke of the week…

When I was feeling down, my friend told me, “It could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I knew he meant well.

It’s now time for the dad joke medley…

• The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
• I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• I threw butter out the window because I wanted to see a butterfly.
• Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
• I wanted to wear my camo pants today, but I couldn’t find them.
• I just learned sign language, it’s pretty handy.
• How do billboards communicate? Sign Language.
• What is the least spoken language? Again, sign language.
• How does a pig write home? Sign language… just kidding, with a pig pen.

(applause)

Before we go, let me give you some advice, your parenting tip of the week is…

Put your kids to bed at 5:00pm and the time they actually go to bed will be 9:00pm. You’re welcome!

This is not a joke, but dad joke t-shirts are now available at dadjokeking.com, Click on the store tab and check them out.

Thanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit dadjokeking.com for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn’t count on it.  See ya!

(After show)

Thanks for sticking around. This week I have another story I heard….

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.  No one answer.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”