Welcome Back Chaotic Creatures!🖤✨ And if your new here, welcome to this chaotic fam bam of weirdness! This week’s topic is brought to you by the beautiful letter, G! And since it is an individual topic week, Dev has brought us the discussion! GOSSIP!! Bouncing from categories to topics in pop culture brings lots of hot things to talk about and make a good laugh too! From Gypsy Rose to JoJo Siwa’s new transformations and many other things between. Please know that nothing we say is to be taken seriously, we are just goofy gals with access to microphones😂😅. Kali ends the episode with a retelling of the book she just completed; Credence by Penelope Douglas, is a very controversial book on BookTok so Kali wanted to find out why. And boy does she! If you don’t want any spoilers for this book skip from 1:03:24 to 1:13:50. 🩷🩵💚 Don't forget to check out our new Merch! https://functionalchaosmerch.etsy.com Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching! Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

*Trigger Warning: there are talks of eating disorders in this episode. We encourage you to check in with yourself before continuing. We always want everyone to put their needs first. If this is you, we understand, thank you, and we’ll see you next week🖤* Happy Birthday Kali! It’s another episode of chaos and Jade is back as she’s been relieved of her pain management duties!  For Kali’s birthday episode we have a group topic! An we’ve decided to talk about the one thing that will always be a universal language. Food!!  Now as food can be the most amazing thing in the world and something everyone needs to survive. However, it is not always a friend to some people. The relationship people have with food is rooted in how we perceived it from our families and surroundings, as a child growing up. This can directly positively or negatively impact your relationship with food.  For us here at Functional Chaos, it is a journey of healing that we will tell. We all three has a very different story when it comes to food and we wanted to take this opportunity to be vulnerable in the hopes that it will speak validation for someone else. 🩷🩵💚 Don't forget to check out our new Merch!  https://functionalchaosmerch.etsy.com Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Well Hello There! Yes, it has been a month since last we hung out besties! It was absolutely not planned but unfortunately it is what happened. We received so much incredible love from all of you so thank you for understanding and continuing to support this weird little podcast💋✨! This week Jade is out of commission so she can take care of her Hubs after surgery🙃! We miss her and hope that her husbands healing is going swift.  BUT! Kali’s sister Karli is in town this week for Kali’s birthday so she has made a guest appearance as we dive into Emergency Room Stories! Trust, that these stories will have you either laughing or make your jaw drop to the basement! Most of them are personal stories or stories from friends, but Dev does share some stories she found of Reddit. We missed you all and lets manifest that 2024 will give us all a break so we can get back to your regularly scheduled chaos!🩷🩵💚 See You Next Week Bestie Babes!🖤🖤 Don't forget to check out our new Merch!  https://functionalchaosmerch.etsy.com Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Hey Chaotic Babes! Jade’s Back this week!! Finally we got our little Jadey Bean back in the studio! Dev is now feeling under the weather this week so we did not plan to have her on and did not prep an extra mic for her. So Jade and Dev are going to be playing mic grab this episode😂. Stay Tuned This week’s episode is brought to you by the letter ‘D’ so we are talking about Dragons!! Dev tells us the 5 things she knows about dragons, Jade talks about her favorite game on her phone called Dragon Mania Legends, and Kali finishes the episode with some random articles she found on good ‘ol google! Little bit of a chill episode so we hope you enjoy our weird, trying, conversation about dragons. See You Next Week Bestie Babes!🖤🖤 Don't forget to check out our new Merch!  https://functionalchaosmerch.etsy.com Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Hiii Chaotic Babes!🖤✨ (If you have Mesaphonia we apologies in advance and warn you there are some eating sounds that could not be eliminated. We understand if it’s too much and we’ll see you next week for new chaos!🖤)  Another week of February to grind through and thrive through!💋 It’s also another week of Jade being a sick little bug, so she wasn’t able to join us once again. It’s also another week of Dev struggling with naming her frog babies. Bonus, Kali continues to not know how to say the most basic of words😂. So basically welcome to the chaos. Dev brought our IceBreaker this week, as a best friend Valentines Day gift exchange (cause we recorded on Vali-Day)! Kali and Dev exchange some silly little gifts in 4 different categories, the trick is that we went to the dollar store! Since Jade is sick, we showed her gifts we got and will be ready when she is feeling better!  As it’s an Individual topic week, Kali’s in charge of bringing the topic that starts with the letter, “C” and obviously by the title you can guess it’s CANDY! But more specifically, weird candy found at the local dollar store. A few are winners but… yeah you just have to watch or listen to find out just how disastrous some of these confections are! See You Next Week Bestie Babes!🖤🖤 Don't forget to check out our new Merch!  https://functionalchaosmerch.etsy.com Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Happy Valentines Week Babes! We definitely forgot to talk about it all together 😅So, we hope it's a good one with your SO, or friends, or family, or pets, or maybe even your favorite book friend group! We don’t judge🖤! Jade is sick this week with a horrible stomach bug, so it’s just Dev and Kali today! We have to make a little PSA because the pervy and hateful comments have got out of control. Please if you feel the need to comment about our bodies, just leave the group chat. This is not the space for that.🤭Thank You! We are talking about Bigfoot, which is the Pacific North West’s bread and butter! Bigfoot has always had a special place in Dev’s heart as she has been obsessed since she was a little girl. She is going to explain some of the conspiracy theories that surround the infamous ape like creature! She learned most of these on a Show called, Expedition Bigfoot. Meanwhile Kali, tells us some encounter stories using the website https://www.bigfootmap.com/ where people report what they saw, when it happened, and where these encounters happen! Some people are really funny explaining their experiences so we hope you enjoy! Happy Black History Month. We always encourage others to unlearn internalized racism our society has taught us. Putting effort towards learning and becoming the best version of yourself by putting compassion and intelligence into ALL communities is the only way we can all grow as a civilization! Some Incredible Black Creators on TikTok you should follow✨: @cyzorgg @tblizzy  @5hahem  @white_woman_whisperer @portia.noir  @crutches_and_spice  @theconsciouslee  @blackkout___  Don't forget to check out our new Merch!  https://functionalchaosmerch.etsy.com Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

HEYYY BESTIES! We’re back for a new season!!! Sorry we’re delayed 2 extra weeks, but as you’ll find out we had a huge ice storm and could not make it to the studio AND Kali has been having some graphic happenings with her stomach and digestion, so prepare yourself for that.😂 After catching up on the events of the last month and a half, Dev brings us to the wonderful world of frogs. Can you tell it’s her favorite animal?🤭 Last week Dev added some cold moist family members with 2 Australian White Tree Frogs! So of course her topic she brings would be about these dumpy babies!🖤 This season is going to work a little differently, as is tradition that we don’t keep things the same, cause it’s Functional Chaos not Ordinary Stillness. We will always keep our alphabetical topic selection; however, our Group Topics will be a singular topic and each of us will bring a different aspect/discussion on that topic. And for our Individual Topics, the letter will be given to only one of us. Whoever has the letter will pick a topic with that correlating letter for all of us to discuss! Will this change halfway through the season? Who the hell knows🤷‍♀️🤪! Isn’t it entertaining either way? Don't forget to check out our new Merch!  https://functionalchaosmerch.etsy.com Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

It’s the end of another season!! Holy Titty Tats! Two seasons (rounds of the alphabet) down and only many more to come! In obvious FC fashion, something unexpected happened resulting in Kali missing our final episode of the year. She is feeling much better after much needed days of rest! SO don’t fret, Kali shall be back in 2024 back in health and sass. 🖤 This week Jade and Dev talk about the 2024 predictions of the zodiac signs. Dev is a Taurus, Jade is a Capricorn, and Kali is an Aries, so these are ones focused on this episode, but there is a link for the website used so you can look at yours if it’s not the same. Next they discuss if their 2023 predictions were accurate or not from last year. Kali is unable to put in her thoughts so here it is, “I didn’t understand any of that… so thanks.” and no it won’t make sense cause she doesn’t make sense. 😅 Jade looks up the 2024 predictions for the Chinese zodiac signs. Jade is the year of the Dragon, Dev is the year of the Rooster, and Kali is the year of the Rat. Comparing these predictions with our zodiac predictions is startlingly accurate. Season 2 has been an adventure of many laughs, quotable moments, and farting! Thank you for an amazing season and we will see you January 22, 2024!!!  Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade https://www.astroyogi.com/horoscope-2024

We have to apologize again to our audio listeners. The audio this week has a lot of room noise that was not caught during recording. However, the visual episode, available on YouTube and Spotify, seems to be a better experience! So sorry again! We talk a little bit about Yule; Kali teaches us some things about what the Yule holiday is and where it comes from. Dev starts a conversation about yielding while driving which leads to a totally different conversation that has nothing to do with anything that starts with Y 😅. Jade talks a little bit about some yucky things even though she confidently disclaims she would try any kind of food.  We’ll see you next week for our final episode of 2023! Love You Besties! Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

What a fantastic week for another episode of your favorite chaotic podcast! First we need to apologize for the sniffles heard in this episode, allergies were on a high on the day of recording. If it becomes a sensory issue please be sure to put yourself first and we will see you next week babes!😊🖤 We all play a game called Silly Goose for our IceBreaker! Basically, it's a card game to “xpose” who's turning into their parents😂! Which is a great precursor to our topic this week! Our letter is X, and as you may have guessed, it’s extremely hard to come up with x words to turn into topics. And since it’s our show, we got rid of the ‘e’ and chose to ‘xpose’ each other. Basically, we read each other for filth as any good best friend group would, the only difference is we place it on the internet for all of you to laugh to tears!🖤😂 Hope you have an amazing week bestie, and if you don’t always remember you a baddie bean🖤! Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Dev’s BACK!!! We have missed our little, sexy hobbit! You’re in for an amazing treat with this one y’all! We really lean into our goofyness this week while we discuss how many tabs is an appropriate amount to have open at one time! We would love to hear your own opinion on this IceBreaker question.  The letter this week is, W, and the trend of absolutely no structure of what we talk about, Jade starts us off with a short article about witches. The conversation somehow becomes about the Wild West, and we attempt a few, unplanned, rounds of Would You Rather. Spoiler Alert, we’re not very good at coming up with WYR questions😂!  Thanks for your support and for sharing us with your friends and co-workers. Cause what’s a better gift than recommending some annoying bitches this Holiday Season!?😅  Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Hey Baddies!! Welcome to the Sh*t show!🤪😁 Week 3 of no Dev!!!! I know this might seem like some kind of beautiful tea, but we promise it’s not. Dev is getting hit with the sick stick so hard this season! Hopefully this is the last week we shall deprive you of your weekly dose of Dev!🖤 We also have to apologize if the audio is again a little shawty this week. We tried some new microphones that seemed to work most of the time; but as is the theme, there’s always gonna be some weird mic moment (we’ll go with that cause I can’t think of another way to describe it 😅🙃. We talked about things that begin with the letter V; Vaginas is obviously the first thing we MUST talk about. Jade tells us some pretty interesting, disturbing, and shocking facts about sex and vaginas. While Kali seems to want to talk about how it was for the first shark week of their lives. We hope you enjoy😂. Next we talk about vision and what it’s like to have astigmatism. Can anyone relate to being blind as hell without actually being blind? Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Goooood Chaotic Monday!🖤 Welcome to another episode of just Jade and Kali because Devy Dew is still very much sick! She is really getting hounded by the season sickness monster! BUT, the show must go on, or whatever they say! While following the newly adopted, random topic system, we talk about what it’s like to truly not know who you are or what it’s like to have your own made confidence. If you’ve ever felt this way before, just know that you are definitely not alone in this fam bam ma’am! Our topics just to some pretty Unbelievable Facts. Are they true? IDK, go ask your uncle that knows everything 😂, cause these were definitely not verified by any means. Kali will finish the episode with a category she calls, Uhm, what?! So there’s also that to look forward to if you make it through this weeks chaos!😅🤷‍♀️ From all of us to You! Have a fabulous chaotic week and we’ll see you Next Week!🗣️ Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Hey beautiful handsome glorious besties!! Welcome to another week packed of chaos and talking about things and stuff and more thinnnnggggs! Unfortunately, Dev is fulfilling her turn in having the ick, because it’s just Jade and I this week😅🥺. The show will forever go on!!  Making our way down the alphabet, this episode is all about THINGS!  Bringing a few bullet pointed things we’ve heard or learned. Pandemic Skip, spoons in bathrooms, poop knives, SKIMS new nipple bra! Honestly, it’s more like Random Things, but we fancy and gonna put last name first. Things, Random. (It’s okay I’ll see myself out😅) Be sure to share this episode, comment, like, leave a review! Is always appreciated and helpful on our end! As always We love all our listeners, old and new, and thank you for showing up like you do! 🖤 Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Wow Bestie! We made it another week, to another chaotic episode with your favorite, barely functioning, podcasters! And to our new listeners! HEEEYYYY! This week there is only ⅔ of the chaos, cause Jadey Bean is at home being a sick bean 😢! So you’re stuck with just Dev and Kali for our Halloween, not-so extravaganza. But hopefully we can do the episode justice as we talk about some spooky shit bitch! Some things during spoopy season, some things that are scary about being a woman, tales you may not have heard before, and of course your regularly scheduled laughs and chaos! As always be sure to share our podcast EVERYWHERE, comment, review, all these things help us on this end🙃😅! Til’ Next Week! Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Wholly-Molly-Canolly Jade is a married woman y’all! And Welcome to another episode Functional Chaos or whatever this Podcast is. 😂 On today's episode we reminisce about Jade’s gorgeous wedding. There are some things that will be revealed to her during the behind the scenes of getting everything ready. There’s sweetness, laughs, and of course chaos! Don’t worry your pretty little heads we also cover Jade’s romantic honeymoon with her new hooman she calls Hubs.  Please note that we do not say her Hub’s name so there might be times where the audio sounds like a blip in the audio, that’s because we accidentally say his name throughout this whole episode and we definitely apologize, but it’s also kind of hilarious!😅🤭 As always bestie, be sure to Like, Comment, Review, Share, Subscribe, Do All The Things!💋 Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

What a wonderful chaotic Monday to spend with your new Podcast Besties! Things might seem a bit different this week, cause for the first time Kali is not joining us! She’s on vacation with her hubby for their 2 year wedding anniversary!  Now you may notice we are not mentioning anything about Jade’s wedding that happened last week 🤭.Well,l that’s because at the time of this recording was before her wedding! Don’t worry though, we won’t leave you hanging. Our next episode will be a full telling of the WHOLE thing!  For now, we’re gonna do a quick Q&A! Some questions are from our Instagram story and some of them are from a google search. If you ever have questions for us you are always welcome to comment them or send them through our google forms link! As always, we appreciate and love all our listeners! Please be sure to share this on your socials and with your friends! Like & comment always helps us on this end gain more outreach for all the other chaotic weirdos out there! 🖤 Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Happy October Chaotic Besties!! Guess what!!! Jade’s getting married this week!! We are all going to puke and piss and shit😂🙃! In honor of this incredible time in life, we’re gonna talk about her Bachelorette party! We had such a bitchin’ time, from Kali’s house of games to skrippers, to dancing, to someone literally throwing F I R E C R A C K E R S at us! Just wait till you hear the night in its entirety! It’s another short episode this week due to needing to take it easy so the bride can be as stress free as possible! Thank you, everyone, for always showing so much support. Be sure to share with everyone!! Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Happy Chaotic Monday Besties!!!! We need to start by announcing that the next 3-4 weeks will be a little different from what you’re used to. First we won’t be in-studio again for 2 weeks, so we’re gonna be all cuddled up on Kali’s bed. Although the audio and visual might be dicey on this episode due to some technical errors. Then Kali will be out of town and there will be an episode with Dev & Jade! 🤭🖤So please bare with us and apologies if there are any inconveniences with this episode, we are continuing our efforts to get better quality equipment! You liking👍, sharing👥 and spreading the word🗣️ of our existence helps more than you can ever know! Thank You Babes💋!  This week we talk about our state, Oregon! Living in the Pacific Northwest is so much fun and we truly love living here. So we want to share some of the things we love, some of the things we hate, and all things in between. Even breaking from the conversation to talk about an equally beautiful state of Washington! We didn’t touch on everything but that just means we have more to talk about another time!  Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Welcome Back Besties to another week of Functional Chaos!!  First, I need to put out an apology for all visual listeners! We had an unforeseen malfunction with our camera this week and we didn’t realize it till we were at the very end of the episode and we are so sorry! We understand that many of our listeners benefit from a visual set us and need to apologies for any and all inconveniences this may cause. 🥺 Unfortunately, one of us was unable to be here this week due to a family emergency. We miss Jade this week, and have a surprise guest on! Karli, Kali’s younger sister is in down and surprised the FC girls with her take in this weeks episode!  We talk about things that begin with the letter, N! Dev starts us off with a fun little trivia game. This trivia has everything to do with “nerdy things”. So basically, it’s your average themed trivia but all of them mashed into one chaotic ball! Kali ends us this week with a little game of naughty or nice. Does the game make sense? Maybe. Is it a way to see 3 weirdos talk about things that literally don’t matter in order to laugh? Absolutely!  Hope you enjoyed this weeks account of things that start with the letter N! And episodes are always fun when we have Karli on!🖤🤪 Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod! Instagram: functionalchaospodcast YouTube: functionalchaospodcast TikTok: functional.chaos.podcast Thanks for Listening & Watching!    Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade (AND KARLI 💋🤭)