We begin our analysis of the 1776 Commission Report by discussing the first three sections. First, Luke gives a "brief" overview of the West-Coast Straussians that makes Morgan fall asleep. Then, Lauren attacks lazy picture usage, people saying the United States is falling apart, James Joyce, and the 2nd Amendment as a natural right. Luke responds with attacks on Hamilton, the Gettysburg Address, the Constitution, boomercons, and people wearing masks. Finally, Morgan attacks Luke. In conclusion, a very aggressive episode.