What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Is your child who seemingly overreacts to ever minor scrape and bruise really suffering, or are they just looking for some extra attention? Amy explains what could be behind this behavior and how to address it constructively. A listener in our FB group says: "I have a 5 year old boy who cries wolf. He's constantly crying as if he broke a bone or has been severely injured after minor bumps and falls. It's gotten so frustrating that I've stopped responding altogether. Has anyone had a kid like this? What did you do/find helpful?" Amy explains that it's important to contextualize your child's emotionality. When during the day are they acting out - when they're tired and rundown or when they're well-rested? Are they truly experiencing a sensory overload because they have a naturally sensitive nervous system? Are they easily redirected when you offer distractions like a snack or a show? You can't ignore or diminish the sensitivity out of your kid, but when navigating this issue, it helps to frame your child's reactions as coming from an authentic place that warrants investigation, rather than a devious one that warrants suspicion. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm.   Raising a child with a disability is complicated, especially when you're navigating an ableist world on their behalf. Beth Leipholtz is an inclusion and accessibility advocate who believes in creating a more accepting world for our children. As the hearing mother of a deaf child, Beth is raising her son, Coop, bilingually in both hearing and Deaf cultures. Beth shares her parenting journey on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram @bethandcoop, where she has built a community of more than 1 million people around disability inclusion. Beth's new new children's book is THE ABCs OF INCLUSION. Beth, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Beth's experience learning about and processing Coop's disability Learning ASL as a hearing person Why she decided to share her experience on social media and become an advocate for inclusion. Encouraging your kids to ask questions about other people's differences - and letting those people lead the conversation - is one of the best ways to teach them that everyone has value no matter who they are and what they can do. Here's where you can find Beth: https://bethandcoop.com/ @bethandcoop on IG, Tiktok, and Youtube THE ABCs OF INCLUSION: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781634895965 In this episode Beth mentions the "Welcome to Holland" poem by Emily Perl Kingsley We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Flat tire? Mismatched kids' socks? Lost luggage? Here's part two of our listeners' minor, life-changing tips that might just make some aspect of your life much easier from now on. Margaret and Amy discuss: Tasks you should delegate to your butler How to fit all that stuff you need in your glove compartment Margaret's next birthday present from Amy We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever had a child bolt from you in a parking lot or at preschool drop-off, you know it can be a scary experience. Today's question comes from email (questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com): I am a mother of 4-year-old twins, a boy and a girl. In the past six months my daughter has been running out to the car, not listening to me when I ask her to walk with me or when I say "stop." I'm always asking both my kids to "stop" and "come back." It became almost a dangerous situation for us just yesterday when my daughter just kept running through the parking lot during school pickup. She thought it was a game and began giggling when I yelled "Come back!" I was partly terrified and partly so angry. I love my kids to the moon and back, and I know part of this is four-year-old boundary-testing, but my job as a parent is to keep them safe. How can I teach and motivate my kids to walk with me and not to run ahead? Sometimes when we are reactive to our kids' behavior – like when we yell out because we are terrified of them running into the street – they find it hilarious. The solution? Find a special word that you can use calmly in these situations. Margaret offers the example "red light." In a calmer moment, explain to your child that running away is dangerous and against the rules. Tell them that you have a special word like "red light," and when they hear "red light" they must freeze. They are not allowed to move again without your permission. Practice this, and remind them when heading anywhere that you expect them to stay still if you say it. Then when your child takes off, say "red light," and try to keep the emotion out of it, which can be tough. Then, if the child keeps running it is time for immediate consequences, whether that means returning to the car to "try again," or leaving the activity altogether. A few stern and consistent "red light" reminders should make a big difference in your child's behavior. Check out this article by Corinna Vangerwen for Today's Parent: 5 ways to get your preschooler to stop running away from you Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when it seems like there's nothing new or wondrous in the world for us to enjoy and feel deeply connected to? Katherine May, author of the new book ENCHANTMENT: AWAKENING WONDER IN AN ANXIOUS AGE. tells us about her own journey of rediscovering the world and her own sense of wonder. Katherine May is the author of the New York Times bestseller WINTERING: THE POWER OF REST AND RETREAT IN DIFFICULT TIMES, which has been translated into 25 languages. Katherine, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Why we're all suffering from a "pandemic hangover" How to make space for reflection and worship in today's world Why you can't force enchantment (and how your enchantment may vary) Flaco the escaped owl Here's where you can find Katherine: Buy ENCHANTMENT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593329993 Katherine's newsletter: https://katherinemay.substack.com/ Katherine's podcast: https://katherine-may.co.uk/podcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women? We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: The sexism and etymology of the word "nag" What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess whom it's also annoying, too?) Links! Jessica Zhang on LinkedIn: "What's In a Nag?" Episode from If Books Could Kill podcast: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" McClelland, T., & Sliwa, P: "Gendered affordance perception and unequal domestic labour." Our episode with Lynyetta Willis on "Stable Misery" Our episode with Eve Rodsky on "Changing the Invisible Workload" Anne Helen Petersen's newsletter Culture Study Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm.   Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the postpartum support you're getting actually more harmful than helpful? Here's how to ask for what you really need in the days and weeks after birth. A listener wrote in to ask: Has anyone found that 'more is not more' when it comes to help/house guests with a newborn? My in-laws have been here for a week (my newborn is two weeks old) and I'm finding it all more annoying and inconvenient than helpful to have "extra sets of hands." I also feel like I'm exiled to the bedroom for all breastfeeding and just in general, because I can't handle the constant interaction and endless questions about what I'm doing, where I'm going, what I'm looking for in my own kitchen every time I wander into a common area. I know my in-laws have the best of intentions and I feel in some ways I should be grateful for the extra help and grateful my son has such loving grandparents who want to spend time with him - but I'm just overwhelmed with resentment at the moment and taking it out on my husband for indirectly facilitating this scenario. Am I just being crazy and ungrateful? As a new mom, YOU get to decide who's living with you and when! If at all! The first weeks of a newborn's life are for brief visits that don't interfere with routines or make things harder for the new parents. If your in-laws or family are smothering you, you are perfectly within your rights to ask them to leave (if they are staying) or to give you and your partner a little breathing room. Once your baby is older, you'll most likely welcome the help and social interaction from relatives, but for now, it's perfectly ok to just focus on recovering from birth and bonding with your nuclear family. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we know when our anxiety as parents is warranted and when we're catastrophizing? Dr. Dana Dorfman, author of the new book When Worry Works: How to Harness Your Parenting Stress and Guide Your Teen to Success.  gives us a framework for channeling our anxiety into something productive rather than something that hampers us. Dr. Dana Dorfman is a New York City-based psychotherapist with 30 years' experience treating adolescents and parents in her private practice, schools, and agency settings. In this interview she explains Why anxiety is actually advantageous How to contain our teen's anxiety without absorbing it Cognitive distortions Knowing your values is key to managing anxiety - what are the three or four core principles that guide everything you do? In a non-anxious moment, reflect on those values, and then use them as your guiding star for parenting decisions - rather than fears you may have about your children's future or current wellbeing. Here's where you can find Dr. Dorfman: https://drdanadorfman.com/ @drdanadorfman on IG Dr. Dana Dorfman on FB Dana Dorfman, PhD on LinkedIn Buy Dr. Dorfman's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781538164532 Take Dana's anxiety type reaction quiz! Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm.   Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From avoiding shuttles, to separate inside pants and outside pants, to always ordering a different meal than your dining companion, we reviewed - and sometimes eschewed - our listeners quirkiest quirks. Amy and Margaret discuss: Nanking Chicken Merging onto the GWB Whose husband can fall asleep the fastest Read the rest of our listeners' quirkiest personal rules on our FB group page! Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm.   Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener asked: "How do I respond when my child gets upset about something during a playdate and they are dealing with their own feelings and end up ignoring their friend?" Margaret explains that as mortifying as this may be from our perspective when our kid acts out at a playdate or other event, we've all had this happen to us, because kids are kids. Once there's a blowup, an immediate and completely smooth reset is probably not possible. The best you can do is let your kid cool off by themselves and check in with them every few minutes about possibly rejoining the others. Check in with your kid's guest to make sure they can keep playing happily. And if your kid feels bad about how they acted after the fact, it's okay to confirm that and help them sit with the discomfort of how their bad choices affected everyone else. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we find support when our family of origin is no longer around or has otherwise rejected us? Francesca Royster, author of the new memoir Choosing Family: A Memoir of Queer Motherhood and Black Resistance, explains the concepts of chosen family, finding joy in the everyday, and the resistance that is part of telling hard stories. Margaret and Francesca discuss: What inspired Francesca to write her memoir What it's like to enter motherhood at an older age The process of adopting her daughter Taking pleasure in the reality of everyday life can really help you connect with loved ones in your family, chosen or blood-related. And telling stories about hardship and tragedy can actually help us gain perspective and have more hope about the world, not less. Here's where you can find Francesca: Her faculty page on the DePaul University website @roysterfrancesca on IG @francesca.royster.1 on FB Buy Francesca's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781419756177 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This month we are reaching back into our brain archives for the worst, best, and jobbiest jobs we've ever had! To listen to the full episode, you can subscribe to What Fresh Hell Plus at http://whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm/ for $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Get monthly bonus episodes and all of our content ad-free! Topics include: Petty cash BJ McKay and his best friend, Bear Baskin-Robbins flavors How to thank a waitress (money - it's money.)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're a stay-at-home parent, how do you answer to the people who frequently– and annoyingly– ask, "So, what do you do all day?" A listener in our Facebook group posted? "During Covid, I quit my job and I’ve been home. I drive my kids to school, work out, and manage the house and family. I’m very happy and fulfilled, especially knowing that my eldest will be leaving for college soon, I’m soaking up this time. My problem is trying to explain this to others. I have a good college degree and worked in a decent field before I quit. I guess I feel pressure to work and use my skills. One well-intentioned retired woman at my gym was actually trying to figure out how I can not drive my kids to school so that I could go back to work. I’ve even considered lying and saying I work part time at home to get people off my case." A pre-pandemic Gallup analysis 60,000 women in the U.S. revealed that more than a quarter of SAHMs report feeling depressed. The researchers suggested that “societal recognition of the difficult job stay-at-home mothers have raising children would perhaps help support them emotionally.” Don't stay up waiting for that to happen. America’s mothers have continued to say that society is not supporting them.  Do we just decide not to let these misperceptions of stay-at-home parenthood bother us? Do we fight back, bring lists, demand the respect that our hard work deserves? Will that get us anywhere? Links: Our episode with Laura Vanderkam on time management for moms Laura's piece: "The working stay-at-home mom" Motherly’s 2022 State of Motherhood Survey Report Consider This on NPR: The Great Resignation: Why People Are Leaving Their Jobs In Growing Numbers Gallup: Stay-at-Home Moms Report More Depression, Sadness, Anger Emily Glover for Motherly: It’s harder than ever before for families to get by on a single income Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z  Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we know when to control the choices our teens make and when to let them make their own mistakes? A listener asked: "Moms of teenagers, how do you stop trying to micromanage their worlds? My daughter is no longer interested in an extracurricular activity she’s done for years. I'm trying to talk her into continuing but she’s pushing back. It’s hard to know when it’s okay to let them decide what things they want to do as opposed to the things you think are good for them to do." Amy explains that it's okay to micromanage your teens sometimes, as long as you choose your battles– which means everything can't be a battle. Making sure kids sign up for standardized testing might be a place where you micromanage– but that might also mean letting that their desperate need for a haircut go without mention. Making mistakes and learning from them is part of the work of becoming an adult. As hard as it can be to watch our kids make choices with which we might disagree, when we can let those ramifications play out, we're helping our teens grow. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a mental health crisis among teens. Teens are also highly emotional creatures by design. Adolescent psycholost Dr. Lisa Damour thinks the two are starting to get conflated– and that means parents and educators can sometimes overcorrect in their responses to teens' emotional outbursts. Dr. Lisa Damour co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast and writes about adolescents for the The New York Times, in addition to her clinical practice. She is the author of two New York Times bestsellers: Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood and Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Dr. Lisa's latest book is called The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents.  In this interview Amy and Lisa discuss: Why good sleep is the first thing we need to help dysregulated teens solve What the pandemic actually revealed about teens' mental health Key myths and misconceptions about adolescent emotions Dr. Lisa says that we– and our teenagers– can gain much by asking if the strong emotion a teen may be feeling is uncomfortable or unmanageable. If it's uncomfortable, learning to sit with that is part of the process of healthy emotional maturation. Here's where you can find Lisa: our previous interview with Dr. Lisa https://drlisadamour.com/ @lisa.damour on IG https://www.facebook.com/lisadamourphd Buy Lisa's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593500019 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked our listeners what minor and yet life-changing advice they have to offer. From bringing Sharpies everywhere, to cleaning the shower in the shower, to milkshakes after doctors' appointments, our lives just got a whole lot better! Margaret and Amy discuss: The correct way to boil corn What really goes in the glove compartment (not gloves) Amy's meet-cute with her husband "Let's Make a Deal" Links! "Bag o' Glass" on SNL Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener asks: "Has anyone had success in helping their kids becoming ”better” at losing? Sports, board games, even school work…anything that they get frustrated with, it is to an extreme degree. I have three boys ages 7, 5 and 4 and they all do the same things—always throwing a huge tantrum." Margaret explains that it's important to have a good offense in situations like these. Don't try and reason with your kid right after they've suffered a loss and lecture them on Buddhist philosophies of nonattachment. Talk to your kid before the game/event about what is important in these situations, like being a good teammate and practicing in order to get better at something. Links! Cleveland Clinic: "Sore Loser? How to Help Your Child Handle Disappointment" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $3.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Psychologist Susan Linn, author of WHO'S RAISING THE KIDS? BIG TECH, BIG BUSINESS, AND THE LIVES OF CHILDREN, isn't anti-technology. She's anti-advertising to children, and has spent her long career spotlighting the "monumental shift towards a digitized-commercialized childhood." With smart speakers and screens at arms' reach wherever kids go, digital technologies continue to evolve much faster than our understanding of the ramifications of their dominance in our kids' lives. Susan began her career as award-winning ventriloquist (here she is on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood!) and has become a world-renowned expert on creative play and the impact of media and commercial marketing on children. In this episode, Susan tells us Why her point isn't to make parents feel guilty Why the best kinds of toys for children do very little How branding can creep in where we sometimes don't even perceive it What we can do to set parameters on the commercializing of our own kids' lives Here's where you can find Susan: Twitter: @drsusanlinn susanlinn.net fairplayforkids.org Buy Susan's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781620972274 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you worry about finding the balance between forcing your kid to keep doing activities that are good for them (that you already paid for) and not letting them be miserable all the time? How do you keep them on track academically without having to run flashcards with them about the Peloponnesian War for the billionth time? Here's what the research says about when to push our kids - and when to let sleeping (Peloponnesian) dogs lie. A listener in our Facebook group asks: "How do you decide when to push your kids? Like when to go from YMCA basketball to the travel team. Or when to go from regular school to the accelerated program, or the private school that's more rigorous. When to apply for the stretch school or the internship? We don't want to ruin hobbies or turn the stress up to 11, obviously. So how do you know which knob to turn and when to turn it so that their ambition, their ability, and their achievement all line up in perfect balance and harmony?" Amy and Margaret discuss: The “optimal push” and how it's different from over-parenting Achievement-by-proxy distortion (sing out, Louise!) The factors to consider when pushing your child to do something Ultimately, kids are optimally supported when they believe their parents’ love is not performance-contingent. The answer lies in helping them fulfill their potential without damaging their self-esteem. LINKS! Amy Wilson for New York Family: Finding the Optimal Push Our episode "How Not To Live Through Our Kids" Dr. Eddie Brummelman et al: My Child Redeems My Broken Dreams: On Parents Transferring Their Unfulfilled Ambitions onto Their Child Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there anything worse? Your kid is begging for a playdate at a friend's house, while that friend is standing right there listening. Plus that kid's mother. And the thing is, you think this other kid is not such a good friend for your child to have. What do you do? A listener in our Facebook group asks: "My kid is 7 years old. Has anyone ever experienced your child making a friend but you don’t feel comfortable with your child going over to their house solo for play dates? Any advice for how to navigate and what to say when your child is invited over? What if you got a chance to know the parent meeting at the park or a school event or sports but you didn’t get the vibe that you’d be comfortable with your child going over there— but you see them all the time and talk to the mom often and the kids beg for play dates in front of both parents?" Amy suggests preparing a script ahead of time for politely declining in the moment and then exploring later what it is that's making you hesitant about this playdate. Is it the parents? The kid him/herself? Do you have anxiety about your kid playing at anyone's house, or just this kid? Sit with the discomfort and try to determine its root cause. Then go with your gut, while remaining open to receiving more information about the friend (or the friendship) later on that just might change your mind. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices