A witness reported a mass murder or ritual killing in the U.K. on Wednesday evening, but when the police responded, they figured out that it was just a YOGA CLASS . . . and the students were performing the "corpse pose."... In Other News.... A parolee in Ohio went to an Ace Hardware this week, and used hedge clippers to cut off his ankle monitor. He grabbed a bag of free popcorn at the exit, and rode off on a bike. Officials are in the process of tracking him down.