Voiceover classes Today, I'm going to be talking about letting go of the fantasy and moving into reality.  And this was something that I worked on with a client.  It's not going to be a long podcast, but we were going over this reading and it just, it just hit me on a different level. And I really wanted to share it with you again. This comes out of The Language of Letting Go And this reading is about taking care of ourselves, but I think you're going to see how I'm talking about it in terms of letting go of the fantasy and really taking the reins of reality. “We do not have to wait for others to come to our aid. We are not victims. We are not helpless.”  And one of the things I talk about in my coaching is these two energy levels. There's catabolic energy, which is negative, destructive energy. And then there's anabolic energy, which is healing, growing, constructive energy, with a very strong energy of success.  Your chances and your potential for success when you are in anabolic energy is very strong. And of course, when you are in that catabolic thinking is very low.  When you are a victim, you are in that lowest form of catabolic energy.  And so what is important here Is again, making that transition from the fantasy that you can't do anything to the reality of yes, you can. “Letting go of faulty thinking means we realize there are no nights on white horses, no magical grandmothers in the sky watching, waiting to rescue us. Teachers may come our way, but they will not rescue. They will teach. People who care will come, but they will not rescue. They will care. Help will come, but help is not rescuing We are our own rescuers.” And the thing that I find about fear, and the thing that I find about anxiety, and not knowing what to do next, all has to do with this one thing of me trying to control outcomes instead of trying to manage and handle the real work that I need to do, the reality, which is to do the work on myself and to take care of myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions.  My trying to control outcomes is a fantasy.  My trying to manage, take care of myself, handle my thoughts, my actions, my attitudes, and myself. That is reality, and that's where the power is, and that's where the potential for success lives. “Our relationships will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others. And stop expecting them to rescue us.” And also, our power begins when we put it rightly on where we can actually do something. Not with trying to control outcomes, but managing and taking care and handling ourselves. Again, that would be ourselves, our attitudes, our thoughts, and our actions.

Free Month of my Weekly Coaching Group So today I'm gonna talk about that green emotion called jealousy. Oh, we've all had it, we've all experienced it, and we've all been the subject of it. But with actors, it can get so tricky.  I wanted to do a podcast, really putting this emotion into perspective. “A flower never thinks of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms.”  Buddha said, “Do not envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.” “Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.” I think my own personal journey with jealousy. If I am having jealousy over someone else, it's because I am not keeping the focus on myself. Keep the focus on yourself. Keep the focus on yourself.  Whatever I put before taking care of myself, I am going to lose.  Also, whatever you put before taking care of yourself, you are going to lose.  Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.  And I think it's so important to understand we have one  journey in this life. Just one. And it's the one you're on.  Let's make it the damn best one we possibly can.  Amy Cuddy says, “Focus less on the impression you're making on others and more on the impression you're making on yourself.” The greatest thing about getting older is really starting to understand that the person who I most want to be impressing, the person that I most want to be challenging, the person who I most want to show that I can do it, is me.  That also helps so much with anxiety. It also helps so much with me wanting to be on my team. Because you know what? My team is fucking great.  So many years I abandoned myself looking to be on somebody else's team.  Wanting to be with the quote unquote popular kids in the second grade.  What a waste of time.  I want to be with my people. Meaning me. Meaning me, myself, and I. Someone else's success does not rob you of anything. That's the Truth.  In fact, I have found that when I support people in their success, they're more than happy to help me and support me in achieving my own success.  The other thing is that when  I focus on another person or another person's success and why they have it and I don't have it, the only thing I'm doing is weakening me. And I'm sick and tired of weakening me. I want to be working for myself, not against myself.  And jealousy is an emotion where we work against ourselves.  When you indulge in the emotion of jealousy, you are letting yourself off the hook for taking responsibility for what you need to do to take care of yourself and advance your goals, your acting career. Jealousy is really a completely useless emotion and it is a catabolic energy.  Meaning it is a self defeating energy.  And when you're in catabolic energy, you have a very low chance of success.  I want a high chance for success. I want to live in anabolic energy.  When you find yourself being jealous, you need to reframe it. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.  When you find yourself being jealous, you need to reframe it and pivot the energy from working against you to working for you, from being catabolic to being anabolic, which is healing, growing energy with a high chance for success. Ask yourself these questions: by this person having success, what are they really taking from me? The answer is nothing. They are just living their life.  And instead of focusing and putting energy towards what this person has, ask yourself, “where do I need to put energy and effort so I can create the life and career that I wanna create for my life?” Two very important questions.  The first one being, by this person having the success, what are they taking from me?  Nothing.  And instead of focusing and putting energy towards what this person has, where do I need to put my energy and effort so that I can create the life and career that I want to create? Again, keep the focus on yourself. Keep the focus on yourself.  How can I take care of myself in this moment? Create a plan. Organize yourself. Take an action to put yourself closer to where you want to be in your life. Do a vision board. Do a gratitude list. Get yourself out of the catabolic energy of jealousy and get yourself into the anabolic energy of taking responsibility for your life.  Jealousy is all about putting energy in the wrong place. That's all it is.  Energy that is being put in the wrong place. So how about putting all that energy on taking care of you and your life?

Free Month of The Weekly Adjustment I'm going to be talking about a real coaching tool called getting a buy in.  And that buy in is about really getting a buy in from yourself, something that you need in order to commit to yourself and motivate yourself.  So I'm going to be giving you some strategies to achieve buy-in from yourself and then tell you why I'm teaching this very valuable lesson. The first thing when you're trying to get a buy-in from yourself, you're trying to get yourself motivated, you're trying to get yourself committed to this thing of becoming an actor, is you want to clarify your visions and your goal.  What that means is that you want to define clear objectives. Meaning, and if you've ever done any method acting, you want to find out, what do you want?  What does that character want, but what do you want?  You want to ensure that you have a clear understanding of what you want to achieve, and this is the biggie, and why it matters.  Why it matters.  Jen Sincero talks a lot about doing something because your life depends on it. But this is the thing, as she says, Your life does depend on it.  This is what you want. Let's get clear on it.  I also encourage you, after you have written down what your vision and your goals are, or your goal is that I want you to visualize that success.  Even if you just write it down in a paragraph form, you're already a step closer to what you want to buy into. Picture what success looks like, and this is the biggie, and how it will feel.  How it will feel. How will it feel when you achieve that award? How will it feel when you get what you want?  Visualize what that would look like.  The second thing I want you to do is I want you to assess the benefits, but also the challenges. I want you to list your benefits and all of this you can do by just writing down.  You can listen to this podcast all the way through.  Then you can pause and then listen. Listen to it again, but this time with pen and paper and pause when you want to write stuff down. Assess the benefits and the challenges. So you're going to list the benefits. Write down the positive outcomes that you expect if you buy in, if you say, “Hey, I am 1000 percent into this pursuit of becoming an actor,” what would the positive outcomes be?  And then I want you to identify the potential challenges. And that means you're acknowledging the obstacles and you're going to start considering how you're going to overcome them and where you may need to get help to overcome them. The third thing is I want you to align with your values and your interests.  Now, what does that mean? Your values are what means a lot to you. Is it the arts? Is it self expression? One of my values is always showing myself I can do it. It's not about showing other people, it’s for me. My biggest value is proving to myself that I can do it.  So you want to align your values and your interests. interests. So you want to take a moment to really reflect on your personal values, meaning you want to ensure that the goal that you want to be doing aligns with who you are and the interests you have. So if I'm challenging myself as a coach which I actually did when I started this podcast 180 episodes ago. Actually, I think it might even be 190 by this point. I challenged myself to do something every week that I may or may not feel like I'm doing.  It was in the interest that I obviously have in coaching, but it also was the value of not proving to all of you that I could do it, but proving to myself that I could do it. The other thing that you want to do around aligning your values and interests is finding personal value.  Connecting your goal to something that is personally meaningful to you.  I talk about how my trigger words a lot in my coaching and that weekly coaching group I was just telling you about. And my old trigger words are weak, stupid, incapable.  So when I am aligning with my personal meaning, or I'm trying to find a personal meaning, that personal meaning will always be something that goes against those words. That practices contrary action to the words of weak, stupid, and incapable.  It makes me strong, smart, intelligent, and, as I always like to tell myself, I am the most capable person I know.  Number four, educate yourself. Educate yourself. Gather information, research, and learn more about the goal to build confidence. Now here I can help you. If you are trying to figure out the business of becoming an actor, please let me know. Shoot me an email, Peter@actingbusinessbootcamp.com so that you can get in touch with me.  And we can talk about this because the business does not have to be complicated. Also, and I love this, seek inspiration, look for case studies, success stories or mentors that have achieved similar goals.  Another thing that I think is really important is if you are a movie buff, watch favorite movies, watch movies that inspire you, performances that inspire you. Inspire you to become the best actor that you can be the best business person for your acting career that you can be. And find those inspirational stories that I talk about in the core work to pick you up and help inspire you when you most don't feel like doing what needs to be done.  Number five, set achievable milestones, which means set achievable goals, mini goals. Break it down. I'm a big one on baby stepping. Love the baby stepping and love the phrase anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time.  So you want to break it down.  You want to divide the project into smaller manageable tasks. Because the fact of the matter is that if you don't know what the next step is, the next right step or the next manageable step or the next bite of the elephant is, you're probably not going to get it done. Also, celebrate progress, recognize and reward yourself for completing the milestones.  Whenever I do a good workout, I really praise myself for the effort that I put into it. That's so much better than beating yourself up.  Again, the core work and everything I talk about is about getting you to work for you instead of against you. So number six is developing a support system. So important. We need people who are trying to recover their selves, what they really were meant to be on this earth and really saying enough is enough of the fear and going for it. You need other people like that in your life who encourage you instead of discourage you, because you want to be seeking encouragement.  You want to share your goals with supportive friends, or supportive family, or supportive colleagues. Find whether someone is supportive for you or not. And that's in good times and in bad.  Also, find accountability. One of the things I do with Acting Business Boot Camp is we have a weekly accountability group. What have you done the week before and what are you going to do the week going forth?  In those three pillars of a successful acting career, which are acting training, business steps, and accountability. And core work. So what did you do to become better at your craft this past week? And what did you, are you going to do this next coming week? Number seven, reflect on past successes.  In episode 102 of this podcast, I talk about what is your strength story, and I share one of my own.  If you want to understand what really finding your strength story is all about, listen to that podcast episode, and we'll put a link in the show notes so you can just click on it. It's one of my favorite episodes, and also you get a real good idea of where I was at how far I've come.  You want to recall achievements, reflect on past successes to build confidence in your ability to succeed again.  You also want to analyze strategies. You want to consider what strategies worked in the past. What has worked for your acting career in the past and how can you apply them now.  Number eight, you want to create a positive mindset.  And that is why at the beginning of this podcast, I offered you that free month of coaching for the weekly adjustment, because that is It's all about creating a positive mindset. We do talk about practicing self affirmations and using affirmations to boost your confidence.  I talk about how you can act your way into right thinking and think your way into right acting.  You also want to be learning, and we talk about this in that weekly class, about managing negative thoughts, address and reframe any self doubt, or negative thinking. Number nine, oh boy, if you're a working actor, you know this one. Plan for flexibility. Be adaptable. Another one I love is to remain teachable.  Be prepared to adjust your plans as needed. Remember when you're about to go out to dinner and maybe a movie or a show with a friend and then that audition comes in? Oh yeah, you gotta learn how to pivot.  Always stay open to learning. View challenges and opportunities to learn and grow.  It's not that bad things happen. It's that lessons come up for us to learn and grow. So that we can truly do what we are capable of doing and have the skills to do that when called upon. Again, remember, remain teachable intellectually and emotionally.  And finally, our last action to get a buy in from ourself is to commit to action. Set a start date. Decide when you will begin and commit to it.  And I always love when I'm able to do it the moment I set the plan or the goal in motion. Take that first step. Start with a small action. To bring about momentum, start with something small, a tiny sampling, a little bonbon of the elephant.  Now, this is the thing, by systematically going through each of these 10 steps in this very special podcast lesson, you really can cultivate a strong internal commitment to your goals and ensure sustained motivation and effort. And if you need help with this, please, I beg of you, I am totally willing to help. Let me see how I can help you.  And I can do that. I can start to do that with you in that free month, an entire free month. That's four hours of coaching, four hours of coaching in the wonderful weekly adjustment class.

Apply for the Terry Knickerbocker Studio’s Summer Intensive by June 7th and receive a special discount when you mention the podcast. Apply HERE About Terry Knickerbocker: Terry is a graduate of The Experimental Theatre Wing in the Drama Dept. at New York University. After graduating from NYU, Terry trained as an actor and a teacher with William Esper.  He taught at The William Esper Studio for 25 years, and continues as part of the core faculty at the Experimental Theatre Wing at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. He has also taught directing at Playwrights Horizons Theatre School and Yale University.  Other essential teacher/mentors include Maggie Flanigan, Rina Yerushalmi, Steve Wangh, Terry Hayden, Nikos Psacharopoulos, Jackie Brookes, Mary Overlie, Ryszard Cieslak, Jerzy Grotowski, Pierre Lefèvre, Moshe Feldenkrais, Dr. Louis Ormont, and Dr. Harry Fogarty. He has coached actors on over 300 films, television and theater projects, both on and off-Broadway and regionally. He also consulted with playwrights and screenwriters on their scripts.  Some of the actors he has worked with and trained include Sam Rockwell, Chris Messina, Boyd Holbrook, Natasha Lyonne, Leslie Bibb, Emmy Rossum, Yul Vasquez, Jordana Spiro, Gillian Alexy, Gretchen Mol and many others. A past recipient of the Drama League of New York’s directing award/fellowship for emerging directors, Terry is also a former member of Circle Rep’s LAB. His directing credits include many new works as well as contemporary and classical plays such as Measure for Measure, Tartuffe, The Normal Heart, Candida, All My Sons, and David Rabe’s In the Boom Boom Room.

This week what I wanted to do was a breathing exercise for actors because I think in this incredible turbulent world that we live in, and yes, it's always turbulent, but it seems particularly turbulent right now. It is so important that for us as artists, that before we are about to perform, that we get to the center of us.  As a little girl, I called it, go back to the source.  And I believe that is connecting to that part of us that is connected to the Universe.  So what I'm going to do I'm not going to breathe with you, but what I am going to do is guide you through breathing exercises. So what I ask of you is to breathe in through your nose and let out a big sigh, ah, and again, breathe in through your nose, and let out a big sigh,and that can be as loud as you want it to be.  Pause. Stay still. Breathe in through your nose. And again, sigh out. You can even scream if you want. And pause. And just allow your breath to be where it wants to be. Whether that's breathing in through your nose or your mouth. As you do this, I can encourage you to do this for those of you who have subways on the subway, on the tube, or if you're on a bus, or you're riding in the back of a car, or you're at home, sitting on the couch, or maybe you're lying down. And if possible, see if you can wear an eye mask or put a gentle scarf on your eyes, just to block out that little extra light. As you breathe through this next set of breathing exercises, I want you to almost imagine your body expanding and contracting.  Your entire body expanding and contracting. Expanding and contracting. Expanding and contracting. Exhale all of your breath. And take a deep breath in. Hold it. Two, three, four, five. Exhale. Pause, two, three, four, inhale. Hold, two, three, four, five, exhale. Pause, two, three, four, inhale. Hold, two, three, four, five, exhale.  Pause, 2, 3, 4. One more. Inhale. Pause, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. Pause. 2, 3, 4. Good.  Now just allow yourself to breathe. So what you notice there is we did an inhale and I had you hold for five, then an exhale, and then I had you hold for four.  I'm going to do one more set and this time we're going to go a little bit slower. Just allow yourself to breathe.  This will probably be an exercise that you'll listen to several times. Each time if you can, really see if you can match your breath to my voice.  What that does is takes the control out of you and surrender it to something else.  You're not surrendering to me, you're surrendering to the Universe. Exhale all of your breath, and inhale. Hold, three, four, five. Exhale. Pause, two, three, four. Inhale. Hold 2, 3, 4, 5, exhale. Pause 2, 3, 4, inhale. Hold 2, 3, 4, 5, exhale. Pause 2, 3, 4, 5, Inhale. Hold, two, three, four, five. Exhale. Pause, two, three, four, five. Inhale one more time. Hold, two, three, four, five  Let it all out Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa Rest. Just allow yourself to be okay. It's okay. It's safe. You are secure Love yourself in this moment It's okay to do that Be in this moment. Just for this moment. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Now at this moment you can pause and just allow yourself to breathe and stay in stillness.  Or you can gently open your eyes, let them flutter, remove your maskyour scarf and feel your body.  Sometimes when I can't sleep, which doesn't happen all the time by any stretch of the imagination, but it does happen, I find this breathing exercise to be very helpful. I hope it is helpful for you too, and I encourage you to practice it numerous times.  It only takes a few minutes.  And again, if you can. To the best of your ability, really see if you can listen to my voice and follow that.  Obviously, I don't want you to strain, but work up to it. You can do it. You can do it.

Join our mailing list Today, I'm going to do something to follow up from what I talked about last week, which was prayer and meditation for the actor.  I got a lot of emails about how many people enjoyed that podcast. So what I wanted to do today was focusing on centering, and centering for the actor. So this is going to be a little different. I don't recommend that you do this while you are driving a car or maybe even walking down the street.  This would be a podcast episode that you want to be at home and in a comfortable place because I'm going to be going through different areas of your body and talk about centering them.  So if you will, I have taken off my shoes. I am standing here in front of my mic and you can do this, I guess actually if you wanted to do this on a subway, you could or just somewhere you don't have to pay attention for a bit.  Put yourself in a comfortable spot. That could be lying on the ground with your legs in the semi supine position, meaning they're bent at the knees and your feet are flat on the ground. Maybe put a book underneath your head or a small blanket and find a comfortable place for your arms, whether that be down by your side or stretched out. And if you're seated, locate where your sit bones are.  And allow your spine to get real tall. Place your hands in your lap. If you're standing as I am right now, feel the ground beneath your feet and just take a deep breath in through your nose. Let it go. I want you to think of a cloud. A light blue cloud just above your head. Imagine how puffy it is. In this cloud, there is clear, light blue liquid. And imagine an angel coming with an arrow and pricking the bottom of that beautiful blue cloud. Slowly, gently, the liquid hits the top of your head and slowly goes down your forehead, the back of your scalp, to your ears, down the back of your head, to your eyebrows, to your eyes, down your nose and your cheekbones. Into your cheeks, top of your lips, down the sides of your face, your lower lip, your chin, slowly down the back of your neck, down the front of your neck, relaxing those throat muscles. As it does, breathe, and allow your face to relax. To be completely submerged by this magical blue liquid as it pauses right at your clavicle, your collarbone. Breathe and allow your face, the back of your head, your scalp, the hair on your head to completely relax and just be. Allow the liquid to continue down your collarbones, into your shoulders, down your arms, your biceps and your triceps, into your elbows, down your forearms, into your wrists. Take a deep breath here. Into your thumbs and that fleshy part of your thumbs. Into your palms down the front of your fingers and starting to drip gently off your fingertips. While the blue liquid goes from your wrists and down the front of your hands into those front knuckles of your hands, into your fingers, down the front of your fingertips, and meeting The back of your fingertips and dripping off. Now your head, your shoulders, your arms, and your hands, and your fingers are completely relaxed. Place your attention now back to the clavicle, and allow the blue liquid to rush down into your chest, your breasts, your shoulder blades, down your spine, down and around your torso, off your breasts, into your abdomen through your solar plexus, down into your buttocks and into your groin. It is now as if you are wearing a full bathing suit, and you are completely relaxed and centered in this moment. Just being here with your breath, and my voice, again, and again. Imagine that blue liquid being in your head, in your shoulders, down your arms, in your hands, in your fingertips, down your chest, in your breasts, in your solar plexus, in your abdomen, down your back, through the shoulder blades, down your back of your torso, the sides of your torso, and don't forget to let go of any tension. In your armpits, allow that blue bathing suit to just rest gently on your skin and allow that blue liquid to purify you and center you. With your breath, I want you to concentrate on your groin area and I want you to think of your right leg. Take a breath and allow that blue liquid to go from the right of your groin down your hamstring and your quadricep into your knee, relaxing it, nurturing it, loving it. We hold so much tension in our legs. And for right now, for our purposes, we don't need to. It is safe for us to let go and to center. From our right knee, we allow the blue liquid to go down into our shins and our calves and rest in our ankles, again, letting go and centering, feeling very grounded on our right side. Down into our heel, into our foot, into our toes, and out the tops of them. That can be the point of your toes, that can be the back of your toes, that can be where the little hairy part is of your toes. And yes, if you want to giggle, you can giggle. Our right side is completely relaxed. And we are centered. As we direct our attention into our left hip. Into our left groin. Where again we allow that blue liquid to rush into our hamstrings and our quadriceps, and rest in our knee. Allow it to be in that other knee. Take a breath. It is safe to let go. From our knee we go into our calves and our shins, into our ankle. We pause there for yet another cleansing, centering breath. We release that liquid from that ankle into our heel, into our foot, down our toes. And let it drip out of the point of our toes, or the back of our toes, or that sweet little hairy part of our toes. Wherever we wish. We are completely relaxed. We are centered. We are ready. We are paused, and we are poised. I am with myself in this moment. I will not abandon myself in this moment. I am here for myself in this moment. Universe, let me be a beacon of your light.  And one more. And so it is. I hope you enjoyed that. I hope you are more centered and if you feel yourself warm like I do, it's because energy has released.  You are truly centered. You are truly with yourself.  And you can always be this very special way.

So today I actually, I've been just so intensely busy with so many different things and I was in New York City today and one of the things I used to do when I was in New York more than I am now is I would go into churches and I just happened to pass by an old church that I usually would go into and I just walked in. And it was quiet, quiet.  And I have been noticing this past, I don't know, week, that my mind has been racing a lot.  Just tons and tons of talk and nothing negative. Just very busy.  And it's disrupted my sleep and it's been so unpleasant.  And then I went into that church and I noticed that in this church when I closed the doors and I sat in one of the pews and I've done this, you know, with other spiritual places of worship.  So I sat in the pew and I just closed my eyes. and it was so wonderful. Because it was so quiet and almost instantaneously it was like my soul was soothed.  My soul was soothed with silence.  And so today, I wanted to do a podcast about prayer and meditation. Now I need to stress that I am not a religious person. My relationship is with the universe. And sometimes I do call the universe God, but for me, it is really a spiritual entity.  I think of it as my higher self. Because I so strongly believe that the universe is a part of me and I am a part of the universe.  So as usual, as per the usual, I am going to be doing a reading out of The Language of Letting Go. I'm gonna alter it slightly for our purposes.  So the first thing that she says is she gives a quote by Emmett Fox The Sermon on the Mount. And it says, “as a matter of fact, prayer is the only real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that changes one's character. A change in character or a change in soul is a real change.” And although I felt that today while I was sitting in silence, because I felt a change in me. And it's a change that I've kept with me for the rest of the day.  And I said to myself, well, why don't you do this more often? But I don't even have to go into a church to do it. I just need to be quiet, which is something that I do. Not for as long as I was in that church. I probably was only there, I don't know, ten minutes. But again, it was very soothing to my soul.  Melody Beattie goes on to say, “Erika Young has said that we are spiritual beings who are human. Prayer or praying and meditating are ways that we can take care of our spirit. Prayer and meditation are disciples suggested by the 11th step of 12 step recovery programs.” And a prayer that I love, that I believe I, I shared with you recently, is I pray for the knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry that out.  I pray for the knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry that out.  And I can say that for my acting career, I can say it for anything, but you can also say it for your acting career, because sometimes we feel so lost and I want that word, I've told you before, it's my favorite word, wisdom to guide us. Prayer and meditation are not necessarily connected to organized religion, prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with higher power or the universe to benefit ourselves, our life, our growth.  And again, the, the, the phrases that come up for me are take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.  Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.  And that means mentally, physically and spiritually. Praying is how we connect with our higher power, our universe.  We don't pray because we have to. We pray because we want to.  It is how we link our soul to our source.  I remember when I was a very young girl, I wrote down on a piece of paper: go back to the source. And at the time, I did not know what that meant. But yet I felt it. I understood it. And it's one of those pieces of paper in your life that you cherish. Because at some young age, I knew there was something bigger than me.  There was something out there that was bigger than me. I don't think I understood that I was a part of it and it was a part of me. But I understood that it existed.  “We're learning to take care of our emotions, our mind, and our physical needs” Again, take care of ourselves first and the rest will follow.  “We're learning to change our behaviors, but we're also learning to take care of our spirit. We're learning to take care of our soul because that is truly where all change begins. Each time we talk to the universe, we are transformed. Each time we connect with our higher power, we are heard, touched, and changed for the best.” It's funny, I can't prove to you that I was changed for the best by just walking into that church today and sitting for ten minutes in silence. But yet, somehow, somehow I was.

Private Coaching Today, I'm going to talk about the subject of Wisdom.  Wisdom is my favorite word in the American language.  God, do I love Wisdom. The reason why I love Wisdom is because Wisdom gives me power. And sometimes it isn't even the power of knowledge, but the power of knowing what to do.  And I don't have any script for this podcast or guidance for this podcast. I'm just talking to you about this subject because it is truly just the thing that I crave more of.  This past week I turned another year older. I help people to adjust their thoughts and their lives to work for them instead of against them. And, that's a really crucial thing because it's certainly something that I did a lot when I was younger.  I constantly worked against myself because I also was like, “Yeah I'm, I have so much energy and I'm so tough, I don't always have to be working for me.” Oh, would I like to go back and talk to that 20 year old. Becoming emotionally intelligent.  And how do I teach them to do that?  By teaching them to be emotionally self-sufficient. In order to be emotionally self-sufficient, I need to be very wise. So I'm going to talk a bit today about a couple of prayers that I like that help me to become more wise.  And the first one is very obvious. It is the serenity prayer.  So if you're listening to this, I'm going to ask you to write the serenity prayer down.  I'm going to give it to you as I'm writing. If you need to push pause, that's fine. So here's the serenity prayer.  “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. So write that down and then skip a couple of lines. Then I want you to write down the next line, which is “courage to change the things I can.” And then skip a couple of lines.  And wisdom to know the difference.  And wisdom to know the difference. And I always, when I'm writing down the serenity prayer, I always circle the word wisdom. Again, because it's something I want more of.  So let's go back to that first line, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  Underneath that, I want you to write this: I cannot change or control other people, places, things, or situations.  So grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  I cannot change other people, places, things, or situations.  I cannot change or control other people, places, things, or situations.  Let's go to the second part.  Courage to change the things I can.  I can only handle or manage, handle/ manage myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions. I can only handle/ manage myself, my thoughts, my attitudes, my actions. That's the second part.  And the third part is, wisdom to know the difference.  Wisdom underneath that, right?  Wisdom to know the difference between what I cannot control, which is other people, places, things, and situations, and what I can handle, which is myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions.  So I am looking for the wisdom to be able to determine what I can do something about and what I cannot, because all anxiety, all unrest in me. It comes from my wanting to control something.  But here's the thing, that may not be my job. That may not be my job. My job is to handle or manage myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions.  And here's the thing, when you really focus on that, your life is busy.  You don't have time to control other things. You are not, you don't have time to control outcomes and other things like that. You gotta focus on your own life. You gotta focus on your own life.  The Universe is the pilot. I am the co pilot.  And every morning I wake up and I say, good morning universe, Peter Pamela Rose reporting for duty.  And I invite the Universe into my day. And I ask the Universe.  This, and this is what comes from the 12 step programs. I pray for the knowledge of your will for me today and the power to carry that out. I pray for the knowledge or the wisdom of your will for me today, and the power to carry that out.  But understand, I am not asking for the power to control. No. I am asking for the power to manage and handle myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions.  See, my job isn't to control. My job is to handle. My job is to manage.  That's what my job is. That's what my job is as co-pilot. So every morning I differentiate, using my wisdom that I have acquired.  I use my wisdom to differentiate. Pilot, co pilot. Peter Pamela Rose, you're a co pilot. Reporting for duty. I pray for the knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry that out. Now the thing about wisdom is also there is a little bit of humility involved here because I need to acknowledge another little phrase I'm going to throw to you, which is, I can't.  The Universe can. Let the Universe.  I can't deal with this situation, but the Universe can. I'm going to let the Universe, but sometimes it's very difficult to admit to ourselves that there is nothing we can do. All of these things, especially that ability to differentiate between what is my job, manage and handle, and what the Universe's job is to control or do whatever the Universe does.

Private Coaching Now I wouldn't say that I would sometimes call myself Peter Pamela Perfectionism Rose, but sometimes I've called myself Peter Pamela Perfectionism Rose. The biggest thing about perfectionism that I want to talk about today is that perfectionism leads to procrastination, leads to paralysis.  The other thing that I think is so important about the lesson of perfectionism is to make your ears grow bigger, cunning, baffling, and powerful. I look at all the ways, in fact even this too, recording today's podcast, I was looking for the right time to do it.  But do you know what the right time to do it was? Right now. Right now was the right time to do it.  See, my wanting to, and this is just me but maybe you can relate, my waiting to just feel like it is perfectionism in a very cunning, baffling, and powerful way, trying to get me to not do what I most need to do to move my career forward, which is because for the past, I think over two years now, I have put out a podcast every week, even when my house flooded, even when my house flooded and that If you can start to override that perfectionism and let it go for just a moment so that you do that action now, bingo, we got some serious success about to happen. Now, I'm also going to lean into the fabulous Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go She talks about how perfectionism is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes. So recovering from perfectionism necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems and facing tough issues.  And it's especially when I have to do things I most don't want to do that my perfectionism kicks up.  Again, waiting for the right time, waiting till I feel like it, waiting until somebody else tells me I should do it. Again, cunning, baffling, and powerful, how I get in there, how perfectionism gets in there or my perfectionism gets in there to prevent me from doing the things that I most need to do in order to achieve what I most want to do.  “Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows down the process to our getting to the level of success that we want to get to in whatever area of our life. It puts us in a guilty or anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive. It makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth. Keep the focus on yourself.” It was one of the craziest things I've learned in core work. Is that once I finally got the focus on me and off of everybody else, I was like, how the heck did I even have time to focus on other people and try and control them and try and manipulate them? How did I even have the time?  I'm so damn busy with me. I'm a freaking full time job. That's when the good stuff begins, when you start to really focus on you, that's when the good stuff starts.  “People are human and vulnerable. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in a codependent state of moral superiority.”  And sometimes I find I do that with myself. I put myself in “Peter, you're just gonna have to do it better than everybody else.”  What the fuck is that? Oh, that's so much arrogance. That's so much moral superiority that I think I know what perfect is. IIt's really all about process and life being a process.  “Expecting ourselves to be perfect makes us feel rigid and inferior.” And also as an actor, I find it makes us rigid. We have to do the scene the way we planned it. No, you don't. In fact, mistakes are the best things that can happen. Mess ups are the best things that can happen.  I was talking with my producing partner who told me about these mistakes that happened on the set and the actor was like no, I have to redo it. And the director, he was like, ah, no, you don't. Because that was comedic genius. Remember, there is that in imperfection, some of the greatest creativity can happen as an actor.  “We do not need to go to the other extreme, tolerating anything that people throw our way. We can still expect appropriate, reasonable, and responsible behavior from ourselves and from others. But most of us can afford to loosen up a bit.”  Oh my gosh. I used to be so freaking tightly wound until I really gave myself permission to be me. And I am so much more fun now. I am so much more fun in my fifties than I ever was in my twenties and my thirties. “And we can stop expecting others to be perfect. We may discover they're doing much better than we thought.” And that's, that's also where that arrogance comes in. Where my thinking, what you should, what my thinking, I know what you should do for your life. Hell, I barely know what the hell I should be doing for my life. Why am I putting that on others? Another cunning, baffling, stinky way that perfectionism comes into our lives.  “When we stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, we'll discover that incredible beauty in ourselves, and also the beauty in others.” Perfectionism. leads to procrastination, leads to paralysis.  My assignment for you is to use your mind to govern your brain and notice the cunning, baffling, and powerful ways perfectionism comes into your acting career, and also into your life. And if I can help you with your journey to let go of your perfectionism, please let me know.

Today I'm going to be talking about something that I have been doing recently, which I've been really taking risks. It's been real. It's been an adventure. And I've said to myself, I remember earlier this year, I was in a foreign country. I was driving in a foreign country, on the opposite side of the road. And I went in my car. It was late at night and I'd been traveling for a while and I just said to myself, You are so brave. You are so brave.  And I think one of the things that I've learned in taking risks is really to encourage, be your own cheerleader while you're doing it.  Because taking risks is scary. It gets us out of our comfort zone, and of course there's that, saying life begins at the end of our comfort zone, but it really is true. And I don't think you are ever too old to take risks. I did a podcast, oh gosh, I guess it was over a year ago, with my mom where, she shared with you all that she finished writing her 10th cookbook on her 80th birthday.  And it's funny because now she's 85 years old and she said, I have this great idea for a cookbook. I'm going to do this. And I'm just like, man, you go, mom, you just go.  So today is where I'm going to be encouraging you to take risks, not only in your acting, but also in your life.  And to encourage you and to help me along in the format of this podcast, I'm going to be reading from the fabulous Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go And the subject, like I said, for today is taking risks.  “Take risks. Take a chance. We do not have to indulge in obviously foolhardy or self defeating risks, but we can allow ourselves to take positive risks in our life. We cannot afford to keep ourselves paralyzed.” I really started to Up my game in terms of taking risks. About three years ago was right after I turned 50 and I don't know what it is about turning 50, but it's when you really realize, wow, I have less of my life in front of me, potentially, than I do in back of me. And I decided I wanted to have the best freaking second half of my life that I possibly could. And I was no longer going to let fear or judgment or other people's opinions, no matter how close they are to me, stagnate my life.  I want to live. And the thing is that if you want to live, you've got to take risks. Or else, you'll be paralyzed.  “We do not have to keep ourselves stymied and trapped out of fear of making a mistake or falling.” And here's the thing. One of the things about asking. Somebody says it says I don't know. Do you think they'll do it? And I go let's just ask. Because no is survivable. Hearing no is survivable.  “Naturally, we will make mistakes and fail from time to time.” Again, that is survivable.  “That's part of being fully alive. There are no guarantees. If we are waiting for guaranteed courses of action, we may spend much of our life waiting.” I don't want to be at the effect of my life anymore. I don't want to wait for life to happen to me. I want to happen to life. I want to be at the cause of my life. “We do not have to shame ourselves or accept shame from anyone. Anyone else, even those who are close to us for making mistakes, the goal of life is not to live it perfectly. The goal of life is to live, learn our lessons, and make our own decisions. And make  overall progress.”  There's a wonderful phrase that I love called progress not perfection. Progress not perfection. Remaining teachable, which I think is also just a wonderful phrase like progress, not perfection. Take a risk. Do not always wait for a guarantee.  There again one of the things I've been thinking about recently is leap and the net will appear.  Leap and the net will appear.  Dust yourself off after a mistake and then move on to the success. Dust yourself off and move on to the success.  One of the things my mom used to always say to me when I was a little girl and I would be disappointed because, I don't know, I didn't get a role in the play or something would happen, she would say to me, you dust yourself off, you pick yourself up, you dust yourself off, and you start all over again.

PITCH PERFECT MASTERCLASS Today, I'm going to talk about something that I've been feeling recently—vulnerability. Yeah. Vulnerability. Just feeling a little tender.  Now, the thing I always think about with vulnerability is vulnerability and emotional availability is two of the greatest assets that actors can have.  All I have to say about that is that can also be like your cross to bear, as it were when dealing with the industry.  Because as an actor, as an artist, we wear our hearts on our sleeves.  But how I like to approach the business is the business. When I go in there, I do my work, my good work. What I want to do is focus on that and not focus on the business.  So that's what Acting Business Boot Camp is all about. It's about getting you to focus on the right things at the right time.  But today, we're going to talk a little bit more about vulnerability. I'm going to use my dear friend Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go  She says, “I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am.” Now, I don't really like to think about it as in control. In a lot of my work and in my more chiropractor for the mind work, and think about that, chiropractor for the mind, really adjusting yourself so that you understand how you tick. I talk about emotional self-sufficiency, and it's not that I want to control myself. It's that I want to know that I can manage and handle myself emotionally no matter what situation comes up, including losing my voice and feeling sick and feeling unwell.  Tender.  Melody goes on to say, “Many of us feel that we can only show our strong, confident side. We believe the face we have to show to the world should always be one of politeness, perfection, calm, strength, and control.” But let's take a moment and let's take a step back and think about how incredibly unrealistic that is.  I received some disappointing news the other day. And I just said to myself, Okay, it's disappointing. It's all right for you to feel sad. It's all right for you not to feel a hundred percent on, especially when I am someone who is on so much. It's okay for me to show a little weakness. It's okay for me to be vulnerable.  And it's okay, or I should say, it's more than okay, for me to take care of myself when I'm feeling that tenderness.  One of my favorite phrases is go as slowly as you need to in order to take care of yourself. And when you're feeling vulnerable, or you're feeling tender.  Go as slowly as you need to in order to take care of that vulnerability and that tenderness in that day.  This too shall pass. You won't always feel so vulnerable. You won't always feel so tender. My voice will not always sound like this. In fact, in a few podcasts, I hope it'll sound better. She goes on to say, “While it is certainly good and often appropriate to be in calm controlling and strong moods, there is also another side of all of us, that part of us that feels needy, that becomes frightened, that has doubts and gets angry.” Because, hello, guess what? You're human. That part of us needs care. That part of us needs love. That part of us needs reassurance that things will be okay.  And again reminding ourselves, go as slowly as you need to in order to take care of yourself.  Expressing these needs makes us vulnerable, yes, and less than perfect, yes. But this side needs acceptance too.  There's a wonderful phrase that says, don't go to the hardware store for lemons. When I am feeling vulnerable, needy, or frightened, there may be people who are more appropriate for me to go to than not. And the number one thing I want to do for self-care—make your ears grow bigger as I say this—is not to go to that person who is the hardware store for lemons. Because they are not going to be able to give me that comfort, that love, that reassurance that I crave right now.  It may be better for me to leave it out. When in doubt with people like this, just leave it out. Get off the phone, get off the text message, nurture yourself, and reach out to someone else who will be a little more caring. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us build lasting relationships. Sharing our vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people and helps others to feel close to us. It helps us grow in self-love and self-acceptance. It helps us become healing agents. And it allows us to become whole and accessible to others.  Just today I finished one of my weekly adjustment classes. And a few people were just vulnerable enough to share. What the response was from everyone else was, Thank you for sharing. You made me feel like I was not alone.  The Weekly Adjustment Group

NEW FREE MASTERCLASS I'm going to be talking about something that a listener sent me, and I thought it was a really interesting idea for a podcast, which is about nepotism. I do think it is yet another one of those areas of the industry where we can get our heads in the clouds and not on our bodies, and really allows us to make excuses for not showing up and taking responsibility. As a NEPO baby, I am not one. I do not come from anyone in the industry. You have an advantage in that you have those connections. However, you also have to have the talent, consistency, and persistence to back that up. The other thing is that, oh, you're so and so's daughter or you're so and so's child. Oh. Then you must be fantastic, and then you have to live up to that, or you can never be your own person. Now, I have a friend of mine who is the child of an incredibly famous actor, but that child chooses to use a different name because they don't want to be known as so and so's child. Now, that is very admirable.  I may go about it differently. I would say use every advantage you have.  But this is the thing, and this is the real key point because most of you listening to this podcast are not; do not have nepotism in your family. What do you do?  And this is the best advice I can give you. You need to keep your focus.  So often, I have actors who look at point A and point B, and instead of just drawing a line between point A to point B, they go up, they go down, they go around, they twirl around. They walk outside, they come back inside, and then maybe eventually get to point B.  The question, the thing is that things like nepotism and a lot of things that I feel in the industry, try to get your focus from the three points where you need to be putting your focus, which is your acting training, your business skills and the core work, the work on you are the things that distract you from taking real responsibility for the job that you have been given to do on this Earth, because I believe the universe has given you given all of us a gift. The question is, are we going to nurture that gift and are we going to stay focused on pursuing that gift? Or are we going to allow our focus to go off into things that we cannot control again?  My favorite prayer or affirmation is the serenity prayer that reminds us of this. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I cannot change other people, places, times, things, or situations, and whether my competition has nepotism or not, courage to change the things I can. I can only change myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions, and keep the focus on myself, my strengths, my career, and wisdom…  Wisdom, my favorite word in the American language, to know the difference, which is the difference between what I cannot control or change, which is other people, places, things, or situations, or change. Nepotism and other actors I may be competing against and what I can change, which is myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions.  So, that's my response to the first part of that listener's question. I'm going to read the second part to you because I think this is very interesting. Getting past the “what chance do I have?” misconception, ever having the opportunity to compete with a nepotism child.  Again, what I would say about that is your job when you go into an audition is to focus on the work.  It is not to focus on who your competition is. I joke about how I used to go into an audition room, and I'd sit in the audition room and basically pick the actor who I thought was going to get the job. That is so working against ourselves instead of for ourselves.  What I think is so crucial here is that when you go into audition, that your focus is again on that courage to change the things you can, which is really, truly freeing.  Focusing in on your work as the actor and living the life of that character in that space and time, whether that be in a self tape or be in the room. The listener goes on to say, my own personal Cher story. I consider myself a Nepo baby to an extent. I was raised in a theatrical household with family members who made their living in the arts and entertainment. When I was a child, they would say things to me that made it almost impossible to understand. And trust me, we were nowhere near the Barrymore status. If anything, that caused far more damage. And then validation. It is something I have struggled with on and off. I could elaborate so much more, but I think you get the idea.  So grandiosity, let's just talk about that word.  I have also experienced grandiosity in my life, whether observing it in other people or, sadly, myself carrying it out. Oh, what dress are you wearing? Oh, it's a Valentino. When, actually, maybe it was bought at Target. Oh, we're a grand theater family. It's just a small theater town in Connecticut or somewhere, but we are the family known as the theatrical family. Where has grandiosity played a part in your life? Do you have family members who exaggerate? Do you have friends who tend to exaggerate? A partner who tends to exaggerate?  The question is, what is wrong with the truth? What is wrong with the truth?  We don't always have to sell ourselves. We can just be.  And especially as actors, I find that grandiosity is about us trying to prove to an agent, a manager, a casting director, a writer, a producer, or a director that we are “so much better than we actually are.” But here's the thing. How you actually are is enough.  I am enough. I always have been, and I always will be. And that is what I also want you to notice. Use your mind to govern your brain to notice. Am I trying to be more when just being me may be enough?  I will also give you one final lesson on this, which is about from the casting director's point of view.  You don't have to prove to me that you are good.  You just need to do your job and know that you are good at doing that job.  And that will make me want to bring you in for auditions, and that will make me want to hire you.

Work with me privately About Angela Mickey: Angela Mickey is the Managing Director of Casting at Liz Lewis Casting Partners, and has been working as a Casting Director for 24 years.  Angela works across the board on commercial, voice-over, film, TV, and theater projects, with a concentration on comedy, real people, and theatrical casting.  She enjoys working with both veteran and up-and-coming creatives, developing the best, unique plan for each project, and working as a partner to the producing process.  Recent on-camera commercial projects: Spectrum, UberEats, DCU, Blue Cross, Blue Shield, Tillamook, Door Dash, Woodbridge, NJ Lottery, Marriott.  Recent real people projects: New York Presbyterian, Aleve, NorthAmerican Bancard, Redemption Whiskey, Chevy, Wells Fargo, JC Penney, as well as a variety of editorial projects for Condé Nast. Recent animation/podcast vo projects: Dee and Friends in Oz (Netflix), SuperKitties (Disney Jr), Get Rolling with Otis (Apple TV +), The Snow Globe (in conjunction with Chik-Fil-A), This Job is History (Wondery), Killer Questions with Daryn Carp (ID).  Recent film projects include "Martyr of Gowanus", Lifetime's "12 Days of Christmas Eve", "The Legend of Lake Ronkonkoma: The Lady of the Lake", Filipino movie musical "The Girl Who Left Home", and Hallmark's "Where Are You Christmas" and "Mystic Christmas."  Angela's got a treasure trove of tips, secrets, and stories that are pure gold for anyone in the acting game, whether you're just starting out or you've been around the block a few times. Here's the lowdown on what we covered: What You Need to Know: Reading Instructions is Key: Angela talks about how something as simple as sending the wrong file type can throw a wrench in your audition. She's all about paying attention to the details. Make sure you know what they're asking for and nail it.Ace Your Online Auditions: With auditions going digital, Angela shares the scoop on making sure your setup is on point. Good internet, good lighting, and a space where you can do your thing without distractions are your best friends here.Bring Your Flavor to the Role: Angela's not looking for robots. She wants to see what you bring to the character. It's all about showing up with your take on the role and being ready to collaborate to make something awesome.Self-Care for the Win: One of the big themes Angela hits on is looking after yourself. Acting's a marathon, not a sprint, and giving yourself permission to take breaks and live life outside the acting bubble is crucial. Top Quotes from the episode: "Making me work harder to fix your audition tape? Yeah, that's gonna make me think twice about calling you back.""Don't just show up expecting to be directed. Bring your own magic to the role. That's what gets noticed.""Worried about your online audition setup? Just do your best to keep things simple and stress-free. It's about what you do, not where you do it.""The industry isn't going anywhere. Taking a break for a bit of self-care or to just breathe is totally fine. You do you."

So, this week, I've received numerous emails from actors who have told me that they feel stuck.  That's why I was like, if they're feeling it, maybe I should do a podcast about feeling stuck.  So we're going to get to that.  Private coaching Being stuck. I think being stuck has a lot to do, at least for me, about timing.  Generally, it always comes down to timing—not my timing; it's the Universe's timing. And then that sometimes just doesn't work. If I'm not in the greatest place, that frustrates me even more because I'm like, “Why not now?” “Why not now? What the fuck is going on?”  And then I think I'll go great guns and put a ton of stuff out there, and then it'll be like this. Yeah, you get it. It's silence, right?  Or things just aren't moving as fast as I would like. And ultimately, being stuck has to do with timing. It's just where you are right now. And if you are in the entertainment industry—which, chances are, if you're listening to this podcast—you know that we are going through one heck of a correction right now.  But this is the truth, and I don't think anyone is really talking about it. But the truth is, the Universal Truth is this, too, shall pass.  This, too, shall pass.  The trick, and I really believe the difference between working actors and non-working actors, is what you will do with this time when things may not be as fast as you would like.  Things are happening, but they are not happening at the rate that we were expecting. The other thing that I will say is I really want to fully recognize and validate this feeling because I've certainly been having it.  We had COVID. The world stopped. My career stopped. Then we got all very busy. And then we had the strikes. First, we had the writer's strike. Then we had the actor's strike. And that went on for months.  And now, that's all over with. Again, my career stopped. Nothing happened.  And then, we had what we're going through in 2024. These first three months, where we're what the hell is going on. This is just, again, not what we were expecting. And then we hear rumors of the IATSE strike, and that's the reason: yes, the industry is contracting, but also, there's this threat of the IATSE strike, and, oh, wait a minute, their contract isn't up until July 31st. It's this feeling of stuck, and I feel like we're all in a collective stuck, and I just want to say, ah, yes, I'm so freaking frustrated by the whole thing.  And when I feel this way. It is because things are out of my control. It's other people, places, things, and situations. And when it's another person, place, thing, or situation, I can't do anything about it.  What can I do about it? I can change my life, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions.  That's where my power is. I can also consider what I can do to take care of myself spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. During what has been a very tumultuous four years of the industry since, quite frankly, 2020.  When I say tumultuous, I also mean good because a lot of good happened between 2021 and 2023.  We had two busy years. But let's talk about timing, and let's talk about getting unstuck, and there's this wonderful reading. The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. “There are times when we simply do not know what to do.” That's when you're stuck, right? “Or even where to go or what to do next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.” And what I just have to say, what I feel as an industry, or certainly, yeah, as an industry, is it was like, nothing. Obviously, the world stopped with COVID-19, then it was feast. And now it's, I don't want to say it's famine, but it certainly isn't abundant right now.  “We can get through these times. We can rely on our disciplines of taking care of ourselves.”  We can cope by using our faith in the universe. Other people, good friends, and resources. And the resources are, for example, this book. And the resources are coaching. Just getting that extra little bit of hope and help. “Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have to be clear. We do not always have to have necessarily a direction, but I certainly will say it helps.” “Refusing to accept the inaction limbo makes things worse.”  I also just want to point out what I was talking about earlier, which is not accepting that we cannot do anything about other people, places, things, or situations. When we still don't accept that, things do get worse. Again, where we can do something, what we can manage is our own lives, our own attitudes, our own thoughts, and our own actions.  It's okay to temporarily be without direction.  In this moment, that is okay.  Say, I don't know, and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity where there is none. While waiting for that direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. We can let go of anxiety and enjoy life.” Another big thing I talk about in my private coaching is letting go of anxiety or learning emotional intelligence by becoming emotionally self-sufficient.   “We can enjoy the love and the beauty in our lives. We can do something fun. We can accomplish small tasks, and this is crucial. They may not have anything to do with solving the problem or even finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim. Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction won't last forever. And like I said, this too shall pass.  But this is the whole thing. We don't have to suffer.  We don't have to suffer.  And if I can help you to get through this stuck, weird period, please let me know.

Work privately with David About David Cady: DAVID CADY is currently a professor of commercial and musical theatre performance at AMDA, NYU, and Pace University. Prior, he was a casting director for Donna DeSeta Casting for close to 30 years. In addition to countless commercials, his casting credits include the original Dirty Dancing, Disney's Enchanted, Michael John LaChiusa's The Petrified Prince for the Public Theater, and the world premiere of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Jim Steinman's Whistle Down the      Wind, directed by Harold Prince.   He was an original cast member of Stephen Sondheim and George Furth's Merrily We Roll Along, and can be seen in Lonny Price's film about the experience, The Best Worst Thing That Ever Could Have Happened. In an enlightening discussion filled with actionable advice and heartfelt stories, David Cady, a veteran of musical theatre, shares his extensive knowledge and passion for the art. This episode is a treasure trove for aspiring and established performers alike, offering guidance on auditions, the importance of self-awareness, and the intrinsic value of kindness and professionalism in the theatre world. Key Takeaways: Mastering Auditions: David discusses the crucial approach to auditions, emphasizing the importance of viewing oneself as a collaborator rather than just a hopeful applicant. The mindset should be about showcasing how you are the answer to a casting call, equipped with meticulously selected material that plays to your current strengths. The Right Material: The selection of audition pieces is paramount. David advises against reaching for material that's beyond one's current range, instead advocating for focusing on pieces that showcase one's abilities best. This includes having self-taped auditions with tracks designed in your key and reflecting your unique voice. Technical Savvy: The conversation turns to the technical aspects of modern auditions, highlighting the need for performers to become adept at using software like GarageBand and iMovie for editing self-tapes. This technical skill set is becoming increasingly crucial in a digital-first auditioning world. Confidence and Growth: Drawing from his own experiences, David talks about the evolution of confidence through the repeated cycle of auditioning, failing, and learning. He stresses that a failure is not a setback but an opportunity for growth. Building and Maintaining Relationships: One of the episode's most poignant messages is the importance of kindness, professionalism, and building lasting relationships in the industry. David shares personal anecdotes to underscore how your behavior and interaction with everyone, from the casting director to the monitor, can significantly impact your career. A Career for Life: The discussion concludes on a reflective note, with David reminding listeners that a career in musical theatre is a lifelong journey. The importance of cherishing and working with your current capabilities, continually learning, and building a reputation of kindness and professionalism cannot be overstated. Special Moments: David shares inspiring stories from his career, including his auditions and the lessons learned along the way.A candid discussion about the mental and emotional aspects of performing, emphasizing self-love and the journey towards finding and owning your voice. For More Information: To explore working with David Cady on your musical theatre auditions, click on the link in the show notes.Learn more about Acting Business Bootcamp and how it can advance your career by also checking the show notes. This episode is a must-listen for anyone passionate about musical theatre, offering insights and advice that span the breadth of a performer's journey from auditions to professional growth and personal fulfillment.

The Working Actor Road Map I don't know about you, 2024 is not exactly what I expected it would be in this industry. And, I'm after the strikes and, after everything we went through last year, seriously? This is it?  Now, of course, there are reasons for this.  There's the potential IATSE strike and the industry contraction. But the problem is that I don't know about you, but I'm left with feelings. And I thought that, since we just moved our clocks, I thought I would make this episode about spring and new beginnings.  In fact, I had friends over for dinner the other night, and my dear friend brought me this beautiful plant. It had hyacinths and tulips. Of course, she knows I'm a Dutch girl. I love tulips. You can't go wrong with tulips and daffodils. And every time I look at it, it just makes me smile and it makes me feel good because spring is a time of renewal.  So today I'm going to be talking about new beginnings and renewal. And one of those things that I need to renew is the way I look at things and resentments. Expectations are premeditated resentments.  And I guess that's what I had about the industry.  I thought we'd all be running back to it in January, and it seems to be, just a simmer, hopefully into a boil later this year. So here we go.  The Language of Letting Go “Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving ourselves and others. Resentments do not punish the other person, they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments. are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go.” So there's a lot to unpack there. But this is the thing. It's like when I have a resentment against something else or the business at large, people, places, things, situations. What happens for me is it's I'm taking poison and I'm expecting something else to be affected by that.  I'm taking the poison and expecting someone else to die or to suffer.  When ultimately with resentments, what's really happening is I am the person who's suffering.  And a lot of the time, and this is something I was talking about with a client the other day, is that really, the person I'm resenting and angry at is me.  And that's the whole thing.  I love this thing of resentments are hardened chunks of anger. That's not helping me. And it certainly doesn't help me as an artist.  As an artist, I want to be movable, malleable, changeable.  And resentment stops that.  She goes on to say, “letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she or they want. It means we accept what happened in the past and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries.” Forgiving is not forgetting. It's letting go of the hurt because the only person that the hurt is hurting is me. And we can have boundaries and we can forgive.  And a lot of times, like I said a little bit earlier is that the person I need to forgive most is me.  For allowing myself to be treated like that, or for actions I may have done that may have not been in my own best interest.  Because I find a lot of the times I get angry at myself, it's because I did not advocate for me. I abandoned myself.  Sadly, in that moment, I wasn't emotionally intelligent enough to know how to take care of myself and to be emotionally self sufficient.  “We try to see the good in the person or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about. We try and see our part. Then we put the incident to rest.” So there's this fabulous phrase, trace it, face it, erase it. I need to trace it. Then I need to face it and then I can let it go. It's also awareness. I need to become aware of the situation, accept that the situation is going on, and then I can take action. It's another couple other really important, fabulous tools. Praying for those or sending someone good thoughts for those people that we resent helps to asking the universe to take our resentments from us.  A very powerful prayer that I use a lot is thank you for taking away, if it's like an anger feeling, a resentment feeling, a fear feeling, thank you for taking this away from me, whatever that feeling is, and showing me where I can be of service. Show me what you would have me do, rather than wallow in anger. “What better way to begin this new time of year than by cleaning the slate of the past and entering this new season free of resentments.” I just I just love that because again, I feel expression fumbled the ball, I feel like 2024 in this industry, it's like we fumbled the ball somewhere and everybody's still looking around, like, where is it? And I think, again, another thing to remember is, and I'm going to give you another one of my slogans, is take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.  There is work to be done. There's always work to be done. This business and being an actor is a marathon. Not a sprint. It is a marathon, not a sprint.

8 Tips to Not Get Ripped off as an Actor Masterclass So today, I'm going to be going back to the fabulous Melody Beattie in her wonderful book, The Language of Letting Go, and I'm going to be talking about setting your own course. And it seems like the world is so turbulent. I know it sounds like we're always saying that, but it does feel like the world is so turbulent. And I think when it is very important for us to keep the focus on ourselves and how we do that is by setting our own course. I'm going to read a little bit. “We are powerless over other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want us to do and be. We can control how we respond to other people's expectations.” Now, I did a podcast on when your buttons get pushed and if this is already starting to vibrate with you, resonate with you, I beg of you, listen to that podcast if you haven't already. So again, we are powerless over others, other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect or what they want us to do and be. But we can control how we respond to other people's expectations. One thing for me to keep in mind about expectations is that expectations are premeditated resentments. But what happens when it's coming at you? One of my favorite tips and tools, I should say, about what other people think of me as none of my business is the following, which is the serenity prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” So let's just talk about that for one second. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I cannot change other people, places, things, or situations. I can't, and when I say people, that includes their expectations. So grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I cannot change people, places, things, or situations. Courage to change the things I can. I can change myself, my attitudes, and my actions. And that can be my attitude to their expectation. And wisdom, my favorite word. Wisdom. Wisdom to know the difference. That crucial difference between what I cannot control, which is other people, places, things, situations, or people's expectations, and what I can control, which is myself, my attitudes, my actions, and including my attitudes towards other people's expectations of me. Melody Beattie goes on to say, “During the course of any day, people may make demands on our time, talents, energy, money, and emotions.” But here's the thing, we do not have to say yes to every request. As I always say, no is a complete sentence. And another thing about when no comes at me, no is survivable. We do not have to be feel guilty if we say no, and we do not have to allow the barrage of demands to control the course of our life, it's our life. And we have the right to live it the way we want to. We can set our own course. We do not have to spend our life reacting to others and the course they would prefer if we took in our life. Again, I beg of you, listen to When Your Buttons Get Pushed, that podcast episode. We can set boundaries. We can firm up limits on how far we shall go with others. We can, and this is so true, we can trust and listen to ourselves. It's so important because you learn how to be emotionally intelligent. And how do you do that by learning how to be emotionally self sufficient so that, when you make a decision, you're making the right decision for who for you, we can trust and listen to ourselves, we can set goals and direction for our life and we can place value on ourselves. If you want self-esteem, do self-esteemable acts. Buy some time. Think about what you want. Consider how responding to another's needs will affect the course of your life. “We live our own life by not letting other people, their expectations and their demands control the course of our life.” Remember, no is a complete sentence. People can have their demands and their expectations, and we can allow them to have their feelings. They can absolutely have that, but we can own our power by choosing the path that is right for us. And this is something, I help actors with this all the time, because sometimes family members aren't that supportive about our dream to become a working actor. I'm always here if you need help.

8 Tips to Not Get Ripped Off as an Actor and the Three Pillars to a Successful Acting Career Let's start talking about those buttons being pushed, right? And I want to talk especially about how to help yourself. There's a little phrase that I love. It's one of my absolute favorites, which is “if you're hysterical, it's historical.” I find that when my buttons get pushed, if I'm upset about whatever it is for longer than five minutes, it's not about that thing. It's about something from my past. The other really helpful thing to note about buttons, because it's generally family members who push your buttons, is that your family knows how to push your buttons because, hello, they installed them. Your family knows how to push your buttons because they installed them. So I want To help you so that when you have that moment, when your buttons get pushed, you can start to practice this particular formula. Now I need to also say this, when my buttons get pushed, I find it's better that I go by this saying, which is “when in doubt, leave it out.” out. I also find it's best for me to remove myself from the situation so I can do that very valuable thing, which is stop and take a step back. But I want to describe the full process of what happens when our buttons get pushed. Something will be said to us and we will immediately react. Now this is important because remember our reactions are fine, but it's our second reaction that we really need to be paying attention to. There's this phrase, and I love this because I think this is so true, “we are not responsible for our first thought, but we are responsible for our second.”  So again, if you can split your paper into two sides, make two columns. On the left column, I want you to write, Something happens. Then, right underneath that, I want you to write, React. And then, underneath that, a couple lines down, I want you to say to yourself, “I am not responsible for my first thought, but I am responsible for my second.” Therefore, we have the second column. That second column is that something happens. Now, that could be your mother saying to you, “Oh, you're going to wear that?” Or, “Oh, you're growing a mustache now.” It's that, okay? Could be your father, too, or your brother, or your sister, or a friend, or an acquaintance, or an agent, or a casting director. So again, on this second side of the piece of paper, the same thing, something happens. And guess what? You are going to react. Especially in the beginning. You may not be totally reprogrammed yet, but after that reaction happens, you want to tell yourself this, “stop.” And sometimes I literally say to myself, “stop it right now. Stop. Just for goodness sake, stop.” And then I literally say to myself, “take a step back,” and sometimes, while that person might be continuing to put their opinion of me on me, I literally will take a step back. Literally, a physical step back. And I always use this example, and if you've listened to this podcast a lot, you've heard me say this, is if you put your hand on your face, and you literally attach that hand onto your face, that's how it feels when somebody comes at you and they push that button right in your gut. It's like your hand is glued to your face. But this is the truth. No, it's not. And you can't remove their finger from your button. And that, again, requires you to take a step back. So if you keep your hand where it is, but you move your body back, that's what I'm talking about. Because now you can look at your hand. See, when it's right up against your face, while they have your finger in your button, as it were, you can't see anything. You just see potentially red, or hurt, or weeping. So it's important to get it out. If you are, God forbid, shot, what do they do first? They remove the bullet. That's what taking a step back means. You remove the bullet. And when you've removed the bullet, then you can observe. You have taken a step back. And you can observe what was said, and you can ask yourself if what you are about to do is healthy for you or unhealthy for you, and then you can respond. And that response is a reaction with a pause and a thought behind it. And then we have triage. We need to ask ourselves the following questions. Afterwards, later that night, the next day. I always encourage it to be within 24 hours of when the situation happened. We sit down with pen and paper and our journals and we ask ourselves how emotionally reactive was I to this situation? What was my button? Which is your interpretation of what got you so damn upset. And then ask yourself, what is really going on here? Let's be honest with ourselves. Practice rigorous honesty with yourselves so you can get better. So that you can heal this button. And then If this situation comes up again, or this comment comes up again, how will I handle it? How will I handle it? Always remembering we are never given more than we can handle but we are given more than we can control. Also remembering that what people say or do is about them, but what you hear or see is about you. Know this, and disconnect yourself from the button. So I need to make that separation. I had someone once say to me that my life was like a bowl of spaghetti and I needed to take my strands out of all of my family members, my friends, everyone around me. I had to take out my strands because I would look at my life and not know what was mine and what wasn't. It was a very valuable image for me. And then I decided to make my own sauce. And it's delicious. Because now I'm keeping the focus more on my own life. Certainly don't do it perfectly. But it's a lot easier to manage and handle my life than try and control what other people think of me. Another valuable thing about my buttons getting pushed, remember, is that no one can push a button that didn't already exist. Nobody can push a button that didn't already exist. Remember, button pushing is about me. And my doing the surgery to remove it. It is a very personal and emotional thing. And it is so wonderful for me to become aware of my buttons, accept that they exist, and then take that Valuable action to start healing and repairing them.

Thursday, February 29th, Live NYC Seminar Planting seeds for success. I call this a Foundation skill, and this is a skill I believe that you can use not only for yourself but also for other friends who need support. Who needs to be planting some seeds for success for themselves as well the idea is when you “plant a seed,” you are setting out an expectation that you can do it or that your friend can do it. And more often than not, when you plant that seed of success, and you say, “Hey, you can do it. Hey, no, I can do this.” You actually do it.  That's why it's so important and why this is such a brilliant and useful foundation skill.  You can think of it as almost the germination of an affirmation.  So in other words, you plant that seed starts to germinate, and as you feed it with positive affirmations, it begins to grow.  Then, as you add those action steps that support those thoughts and, of course, that ultimate goal, that's when the success happens.  When you plant a seed with yourself or with someone else, you are expressing your confidence in yourself or for that other person to come up with something. And that can be either a thought or an action that will then linger and percolate in their mind, in their consciousness.  The idea of what if I could run that marathon? All of a sudden, your mind starts to percolate and build up thoughts that make you think, oh, wait a minute, maybe you could. And with that could become the possibility of you can.  So could becomes can.  Now, whether you or that other person are consciously thinking about it or not, a part of you, like I just said, will be working on a solution.  That's why planting the seed, allowing it to germinate, and then again, letting it grow into an affirmation, which then hopefully will grow into actions, those two things will support that goal. Now, this foundation skill of planting a seed can be used in many situations.  I'm going to give you an example. Remember, or someone asks you a question, and you say I don't know. I don't know.  This is when you plant the seed of “what would it be like if you did know?”  That already is planting a seed of maybe you do know.  So you're saying you don't, but maybe you do. What would it be like if you did?  It also is an incredible way of empowering yourself.  It empowers yourself or your friend to come up with their solutions alone. In other words, by planting that seed, we are empowering ourselves and our friends to fix it for ourselves or themselves.  Planting a seed can sound something like this. “I'm gonna ask you in a little while because I have complete faith that you'll come up with something.”  Now, if you're saying this to yourself, you can write down those exact words. Say, you know what, I'm putting down my pen and my paper right now, and I'm gonna journal about it in 24 hours because I have faith that I will be able to come up with that solution.  I will be able to come up with that.  Another wonderful planting the seed question or empowering question is “when you figure that out, what would be different for you?” I love to ask my private clients this question. If you didn't have fear, what would your life be like?  How would [00:07:00] you operate if you didn't have fear?  And it's always so interesting to hear their answers.  And if they say they don't know, I go, “okay I'll ask you in a few minutes because I know you're going to be able to come up with something.” See, that is how I, as a coach, plant in you, the client, the potential solution.  Also, ask yourself this or your friend, “if I figured this out, what would be different for me?”  Or “if you figured this out, what would be different for you?”  And this is what is so incredible about this tool. It is really saying to ourselves we know what we want.  We know what to do.  We just need to ask ourselves the right questions.  It is so incredibly empowering. It is self-empowering. It's like what I talk about in life coaching. I call myself a chiropractor for the mind is I teach you to become emotionally intelligent. And while listening to this podcast, you are becoming more emotionally intelligent.  Why? Because I am teaching you to be emotionally self-sufficient.  You learn emotional intelligence by learning how to become emotionally self-sufficient and teaching yourself how to plant a seed for success.  It's a big step in the right direction. Because planting a seed for success helps bring out a positive result or change.  It helps bring out a positive result or change.  And again, it empowers you or your friend or another person to figure it out on their own.  Instead of looking outside of yourself to find the answer.  Because the answers are always right within.

Private Coaching Today, I want to talk about self-love because it's Valentine's Day.  And the thing about self-love that I have found in doing this work for almost 30 years is that self-love takes on a lot of different forms. Yes, it is ensuring that I bathe, brush my teeth, get adequate sleep, eat well, and exercise. But it's also about taking care of the things I think and the things I do.  A big thing that has come up for me, mainly in the past couple of years, is that self-love is about working for myself instead of working against myself.  And how often I would be like, “I love myself, and I approve of myself,” I would say that wonderful affirmation, but then when a sticky or uncomfortable situation would come up, I'd be so eager to just give my power away. Ah, giving your power away. Yeah, that is not self-love.  And that is why the core work, which is that work on yourself, is so incredibly important.  It's about learning that you are your own best advocate. That you are there for you, no matter the situation.  That is true self-love. Another way I practice self-love is my relationship with the Universe, God, Yahweh, Bob, Joe, or whatever you want to call your higher power, or a lot of people like to call it your higher coach or your higher intelligence.  I like to establish that I am a part of the universe, which is a part of me. And I also like to acknowledge that the universe is the pilot. And I am the co-pilot.  There's that wonderful prayer, the serenity prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference.” And that's grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, which are other people, places, situations, and issues. I can't control it. That's the Universe's job.  Courage to change the things I can. I can change my own thoughts, my own attitudes, and my own actions.  And wisdom to know the difference. The difference between what I can do something about, Which is my thoughts, my attitudes, my actions, and what I can't do anything about, which is other people, places, things, and situations. That is also practicing self-love.  When I am worried about things, when I am tied up in knots about a situation or somebody or what other people think of me, that isn't practicing self-love.  And this Valentine's Day, I encourage you, and I encourage myself to love myself as much as I possibly can by doing those deep things, like taking actions that work for me and thoughts that work for me as well. I understand this is not an easy thing, but it is actually quite simple.  And it also is the best way to live our lives.  Because the fact of the matter is no matter where I go, I take myself with me.  If I please myself, chances are other people will be more pleased. One of the things I was thinking about as an actor was if I'm worried about pleasing the director or the producer or the writer or anybody else, all of my attention is outward, but chances are, if I work on that performance, excuse me, being as good as I can possibly make it focus on the work, do it so I know I did my best. Guess what? I pleased the only person I have any control over or manageability over.  Chances are, other people will be pleased as well.  It's all about practicing self-love. It's all about caring for you. It's all about you making sure that you work for you and not against you.  You've done it long enough; it's time to let go.