Desire on Fire

Aimee Batuski & Ellie Montgomerie

Welcome to the Desire on Fire podcast! (Formerly With Pleasure) We're Aimee Batuski and Ellie Montgomerie, intimacy experts and two best friends on a mission to help YOU put pleasure first and own your feminine power. If you are ready to become a powerful agent of change, who allows your desires to lead the way as you step into a whole new world of freedom, manifestation, and ease, then you're in the right place! On this podcast we interview friends, lovers, experts, and thought leaders to remind you that no matter how big, wild, or taboo your desires are... you CAN have it all.

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058: How to Live Your Human Design as a Projector with Ellie & Christen Hillmer
6d ago
058: How to Live Your Human Design as a Projector with Ellie & Christen Hillmer
If you’re a Projector (or you have Projectors in your life and you want to understand/support them better) — then today’s episode is for you!    In this conversation, Ellie connects with Christen Hillmer, a coach and healer who is part of Desire on Fire community. She’s a recent graduate of our Apprenticeship Program— and she also happens to be a Projector.    Here’s why this conversation is so important right now: Projectors only make up about 20% of the population, but are essential in facilitating healing, guidance, and wisdom for the planet.    And if you’re a Projector, you may have felt it: living fully by your design can be tricky, because we live in a culture that is really set up for Generators.    We get all kinds of rewards and affirmation for action and hustle and hard work. And things like extra naps, light workloads, quiet, and ease can be seen as not productive and actually kind of … well, lazy.     Today, Ellie and Christen dive into what it means to be a Projector and an entrepreneur — and how to build a life that actually allows you to thrive … exactly the way you were meant to.    What you’ll learn in this episode:  What it was like for Ellie and Christen to discover they were ProjectorsThe telltale signs that a Projector is operating from her aligned energy source — or notHow to find ways to be seen that feel authentic, free, and empowering (vs. depleting and stuck in comparison) — whether you’re on or off social mediaThe biggest challenges Projectors faceThe 4 main areas of life where a Projector needs true sovereignty (vs. neediness) in order to be at peaceWhat does it really mean to “wait for the invitation” and how can you become more attuned to invites coming in? Join us for The Ignited Woman Masterclass series, happening through the entire month of September! Sign up for free here: www.desireonfire.com/ignitedwoman   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Christen:  Insta: Resources/people mentioned: Jenna Zoe at www.Myhumandesign.com Travis Day
058: How to Live Your Human Design as a Projector with Ellie & Christen Hillmer
6d ago
058: How to Live Your Human Design as a Projector with Ellie & Christen Hillmer
If you’re a Projector (or you have Projectors in your life and you want to understand/support them better) — then today’s episode is for you!    In this conversation, Ellie connects with Christen Hillmer, a coach and healer who is part of Desire on Fire community. She’s a recent graduate of our Apprenticeship Program— and she also happens to be a Projector.    Here’s why this conversation is so important right now: Projectors only make up about 20% of the population, but are essential in facilitating healing, guidance, and wisdom for the planet.    And if you’re a Projector, you may have felt it: living fully by your design can be tricky, because we live in a culture that is really set up for Generators.    We get all kinds of rewards and affirmation for action and hustle and hard work. And things like extra naps, light workloads, quiet, and ease can be seen as not productive and actually kind of … well, lazy.     Today, Ellie and Christen dive into what it means to be a Projector and an entrepreneur — and how to build a life that actually allows you to thrive … exactly the way you were meant to.    What you’ll learn in this episode:  What it was like for Ellie and Christen to discover they were ProjectorsThe telltale signs that a Projector is operating from her aligned energy source — or notHow to find ways to be seen that feel authentic, free, and empowering (vs. depleting and stuck in comparison) — whether you’re on or off social mediaThe biggest challenges Projectors faceThe 4 main areas of life where a Projector needs true sovereignty (vs. neediness) in order to be at peaceWhat does it really mean to “wait for the invitation” and how can you become more attuned to invites coming in? Join us for The Ignited Woman Masterclass series, happening through the entire month of September! Sign up for free here: www.desireonfire.com/ignitedwoman   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Christen:  Insta: Resources/people mentioned: Jenna Zoe at www.Myhumandesign.com Travis Day
057: Getting Honest About the Light & Shadow of the Body-Positivity Movement with Rinsha Ballani
14-09-2022
057: Getting Honest About the Light & Shadow of the Body-Positivity Movement with Rinsha Ballani
Is it possible to truly, genuinely, passionately love your body … AND also want to change it?    Does desiring change mean you don’t fully accept your body?    In a cultural movement that’s all about cultivating self-love, it can actually feel weird and shameful to want to change our bodies — whether it’s by losing weight, gaining weight, working out, cosmetic procedures, or plastic surgery.    The result can be a kind of forced silence around the deep longings we might have, and a resistance to facing the shame we feel. So we might recognize we’re losing out on certain aspects of abundant, healthy, sexy living in our current bodies … but feel totally unclear on how to choose a new way of showing up.     So where does “positivity” cross over into “bypassing”? How can that be disempowering for women? And how can we practice continually tuning into and trusting our real desires when it comes to the choices we make around our bodies, regardless of where the cultural tides move?    That’s what we’re talking about today, and wow — this is a nuanced, juicy episode!    We’ve got the incredible and much-beloved Rinsha Ballani back on the show. Rinsha has been an integral part of Desire on Fire since the beginning, and she’s no stranger to controversial stances — and this conversation is no exception.    Bold, contrarian, and beautifully vulnerable, this is an episode for anyone who is walking the long journey to true body-self-love and embracing your worthiness, your sexiness, and your desires for your body, regardless of what shape or size it is. What you’ll learn in this episode:    Why Aimee decided to hire a personal trainer in BaliThe judgments we hold about others’ choices — and what those judgments are trying to show usRinsha’s movement to genuinely love every inch of her bodyWhat the body positivity movement has brought us — and what it’s missingWorking through our experiences of shame (instead of bypassing) to get to the deeper desireThe plastic surgery Aimee really wantsLearning to identify your “come from” — and why it makes all the difference  Join us for The Ignited Woman Masterclass series, happening through the entire month of September! Sign up for free here: www.desireonfire.com/ignitedwoman   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Rinsha: Insta:   Click here to opt-in to Rinsha’s email list to be the first to know when she launches her next offerings! People/resources mentioned in this episode: Jordan Peterson Mikhaila Peterson Layla Martin Kyle Mercer website: Kyle’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/inquirymethod Related episodes:  Kyle Mercer: Rinsha Ballani:
056: Good News: You Literally Can’t F*ck This Up, With Jamie King
07-09-2022
056: Good News: You Literally Can’t F*ck This Up, With Jamie King
In early 2020, Jamie King was a rising star — an overnight sensation in the biz marketing world, landing 6-figure months like it was nothing and living in the limelight.    She was also falling apart — stretched way too thin, trying to be everything to everyone, traveling all the time, doing constant hustle + grind when what she really desired was to be home with her kids.    So for her, the lockdown was a godsend. It forced her to slow down. Take stock. Get back to the basics. Ask herself what she really wanted.    And it turned out, she wanted something very different from what she’d wanted before.    She had to get deeply in touch with everything she’d been bypassing. And she had to attend more than one ego-funeral that year. But it saved her, and it saved her marriage, and it gave her a whole new perspective on her mission and allowed her to shift her biz to be in alignment with her soul desires.    Today, with her collection of “Slay” programs, Jamie teaches creatives, coaches, course creators, and online “Slay-dy Bosses” the Mindset, Spiritual, and Strategic steps for building a highly engaged tribe, and scaling their businesses to multiple 6 Figures. And she does it on her terms.   You’ll notice from the first minute of this interview: Jaimie does NOT hide from what’s real. It’s all out there — the struggles, “failures” (listen in for her fabulous, empowering perspective on this), revelations, brags, and evolutions. Everything she’s accomplished is precisely because she is 100% committed to telling, living, and embodying her truth.    If you’re feeling the pull of a big transition or a shift in your identity — and especially if it’s kind of freaking you out — you are going to LOVE the wisdom Jamie brings in today’s conversation.    What you’ll learn in today’s episode:    What to do when your desires shiftHow to frame your experiences with bad investments, heartbreak, wrong choices, and “failures”The power of choosing to find the gift — and why it’s not the same as “toxic positivity” Discerning the difference between consumption and true desireEmbracing the pull to embrace a new identity    Join us for The Ignited Woman Masterclass series, happening through the entire month of September! Sign up for free here: www.desireonfire.com/ignitedwoman   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Jamie:  Insta:   Website:
055: Ellie Shares Her Amazing Birth Story!
31-08-2022
055: Ellie Shares Her Amazing Birth Story!
Waiting for Bear’s arrival involved months of preparation for Ellie and her husband Rob. They had a plan for a natural birth at home, including hiring a midwife and doula, taking special birthing classes, and creating a birthing plan (complete with playlists!).    Then … the birth happened. And Bear, it seems, definitely had some different ideas about how and when he wanted to arrive in this world.   We talk a lot about surrender in this work — that sacred way we know we can trust what the Universe is up to and can trust our intuition and desire along the way.    And sometimes surrender feels easy and amazing … and at other times, it is a deep spiritual (and literal!) labor.    It requires heroic levels of inward listening. It asks you again and again to return to the primal ground of your being.    Today, Ellie walks us through her entire birth odyssey, everything she was feeling, experiencing, and struggling with, all the support she received along the way, and what this journey has taught her that she never expected. This is an incredibly vulnerable, tender, and moving conversation!    What you’ll learn in this episode:    Ellie’s birth plan, and why she decided on a home birthWhat helped her the most in early laborThe experience of a harrowing 30+-hour labor (that definitely did not go according to plan!)How she made it through the hardest partsWhat she wished she would have known going into laborWhat she learned — and what she’d like her next birth to be like   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Spiritual Midwifery, by Ina May Gaskin Tranquility by Hehe website and Insta   Rights Over Your Birth Package from Sacred Birth Doula
054: Opening Up to Conscious Non-Monogamy with Jessica Esfandiary
24-08-2022
054: Opening Up to Conscious Non-Monogamy with Jessica Esfandiary
Our culture often tells one story about how relationships are “supposed” to look. It can be hard for us to feel into possibilities beyond the traditional cultural understanding of monogamy.    Non-monogamy is often portrayed as selfish, or as one partner caving to the wishes of the other — like the trope of the woman who begrudgingly agrees to a threesome so her man won’t leave her.    So it’s understandable that many couples reject exploring outside-the-box desires, because it can feel uncomfortable and even threatening.    Our guest today has come to challenge these inaccurate assumptions, and to shine an honest light on the realities, challenges, and beautiful expansions that ethical non-monogamy can bring to loving, committed relationships.    Jessica Esfandiary and her husband Pasha have been married for 8 years and together for almost a decade. Most of those years have been spent cultivating a safe and reverent open/polyamorous partnership — including inviting Jessica’s current female partner into their relationship.   As a coach and host of the Open Late podcast, today Jessica is a curator of brave spaces for people to own their power and awaken to their most expansive selves. She helps couples create designer relationships with truth, vulnerability, intimacy, and play.   If you’ve ever been non-monagamy-curious, have taboo desires you’ve never expressed, or are ready to have your assumptions about non-monogamy confronted — then you’re gonna love today’s episode!    What you’ll learn in this episode:    Jessica and Pasha’s journey to an open relationship and how they make it workThe many variations of non-monogamy — and why it doesn’t always have to be about sexThe power of allowing your relationship(s) to changeWhy “jealousy” can be a lazy reason to not explore non-monogamy — and why it pays to dig deeperThe honest challenges Jessica and Pasha have faced and how they dealt with themHow to start the conversation with your partner if you’re interested in exploring new ways of relating  Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with jessica:  Insta: Web: Take the Relationship Style Quiz:   Books mentioned: Pussy: a Reclamation Untrue Sex at Dawn
053: Healing Your Pussy Shame with Kara Baruzzini
17-08-2022
053: Healing Your Pussy Shame with Kara Baruzzini
Almost no experience is so universal and so painful to women as shame about our bodies.    And for millions of women, the shame about our vulvas is one of the deepest wounds we feel.    Many of us have a moment where we felt that something was wrong or broken about our pussies:    we didn’t look like the images we saw pornwe internalized disparaging comments from boys or men around us growing upwe felt pressured to alter the appearance of our pussies (shaving, waxing, obsessive cleaning, even surgery) to conform to what we think they “should” look likewe assumed that the way our bodies looked was weird and bad compared to other women out there   But as our guest today says: When you hate a part of yourself, it goes numb. It goes silent.    And when it comes to our pussies, we miss out on the most powerful wisdom and guidance system we have. We miss out on orgasmic pleasure. We miss out on real connection with partners and sharing our full self with the world.    Today’s guest, Kara Baruzzini, shares her extraordinary journey from hiding, silencing, and hating her pussy to being one of the foremost experts and celebrators of passionate pussy love. Today, she supports women to reclaim their pleasure and sensual nature, heal from sexual shame, expand their orgasmic potential, live more pleasure-filled lives, and embody their feminine energy.    If you’ve ever struggled with pussy shame, you are going to LOVE the healing and liberating truth in today’s episode! Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Kara: Insta: Website:   Learn more about pussy love:  Pussy: A Reclamation  The Pussy Talks documentary
052: Good-bye Good Girl, with Tanner and Maci Shelden
10-08-2022
052: Good-bye Good Girl, with Tanner and Maci Shelden
To hear Maci Shelden talk today, you might never imagine where she was in her early 20s: playing the part, hanging out and drinking with high school and college friends, always bending over backwards for everyone, trying so hard to get it right and be a good girl.    Underneath it all, she felt lonely and disconnected, like she was always pretending or putting on a show. She knew there had to be more to life than just going through the motions.    And she was right!    Maci has been with us at Desire on Fire since the very beginning. She was one of the participants on our very first online offering in 2018 (and has participated in many since), and is currently the student coordinator for our Inner Circle membership.    In our very first in-person Desire on Fire retreat, she had a massive breakthrough that shattered her perception of herself. She also knew it would affect her new dating relationship with Tanner.    She realized she was at a crossroads: Would she keep pretending like she always had, keep being the good girl she thought everyone expected? Or would she dare to be fully honest and say the thing that could end the relationship?    In today’s episode, Maci and Tanner give the vulnerable-sweet-sexy details about what this work has done for them, what it has allowed them to say yes to, and how a desire-led life shapes every aspect of a relationship.    What you’ll learn in this episode: What Maci finally admitted (out loud!) about herself at a DoF retreatThe moment that shifted Maci and Tanner’s relationship Sexy details of their adventures togetherThe challenges along the way — and how they use this work daily to stay honest & connectedHow this level of honesty affects every aspect of their relationship   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Maci:   Connect with Tanner at Amazing Grace in Breckenridge
051: Powerful & Sexy Money-Manifesting with Gina Swire
03-08-2022
051: Powerful & Sexy Money-Manifesting with Gina Swire
If you’re ready to seriously up your money-manifesting mojo, then you are going to LOVE today’s episode with the incomparable and magnetic Gina Swire!   Gina is an internationally acclaimed self-love expert celebrated for her humorous and transformative speaking style and wildly popular self-love courses.    And she understands — and powerfully embodies — a truth that we hold dear at Desire on Fire: at the heart of living your desires is knowing that you’re worthy to receive every good thing you want.    In today’s episode, Gina talks about her own journey with money, how intimately it’s linked to stories of self and self-love, and how you can re-imagine your relationship with money in ways that are expansive, sexy, and wildly abundant.    What you’ll get out of today’s episode:   What holds us back from truly breaking money barriers in our livesIdentifying your energetic minimum — and resetting it to accommodate your desiresWhat her dad told her before he died that changed her lifeA very sexy exercise that will totally change how you relate to money Want to get a taste of Aimee + Ellie’s teaching and the Desire on Fire Community, for FREE? Join The Pleasure Revolution, 5-Day Challenge, Aug 8-12, 2022.  Use the code PLEASURE at checkout, to register for free! www.thepleasurechallenge.com    Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Gina: Insta: Website:
050: Behind the Scenes of the Desire on Fire business — a Human Design Reading for Aimee and Ellie with Travis Day
27-07-2022
050: Behind the Scenes of the Desire on Fire business — a Human Design Reading for Aimee and Ellie with Travis Day
Things at Desire on Fire have been in HUGE flux this year. Have you felt it, too?!   Ellie had her baby and took maternity leave. Aimee stepped into full-time management of the company while Ellie was away. Two new roles for both of them, both large and demanding in their own ways.   They’ve also been feeling into something new in this time: there are areas of day-to-day management of the company that neither one of them wants to lean into. In fact, these tasks now feel draining, exhausting, and full of frustration and resentment. But somebody’s gotta do them, right?   So … now what?     If you’re familiar with Human Design, you know that crisis has a way of revealing our deepest needs and truths about who we are and who we’re not … if we’re willing to listen.    After getting her own Human Design chart and reading done, Ellie invited Travis Day to come on the podcast and look at Aimee’s chart, too.    In this conversation, Travis does a live reading — going over the places where Aimee and Ellie complement, fulfill, amplify, and challenge each other — and offering a simple, surprising clarity for how they can move forward in this time of flux and transformation.    PLUS — catch a surprise reading of Alex’s chart for a peek into romantic possibilities for Aimee and Alex!    What’s revealed in this episode: The breaking point that made Aimee and Ellie realize something had to changeWhy we’re so attracted by the sexy spark of opposites What causes anxiety and stress — and what we can do about itHow to use simple emotions as powerful sign postsWhy some people (like Alex) are super chaotic until they hit 30 — and what happens that “flips the switch”  Want to get a taste of Aimee + Ellie’s teaching and the Desire on Fire Community, for FREE? Join The Pleasure Revolution, 5-Day Challenge, Aug 8-12, 2022.  Use the code PLEASURE at checkout, to register for free! www.thepleasurechallenge.com   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Travis:  Instagram: Travis Day | Human Design (@travis.day) Website: Neutrino Seas Human Design   Looking for an intro for Human Design 101? Check out MyHumanDesign.com!
049: All the juicy details of Aimee's 7-day couples’ Tantra retreat with Alex Waters!
20-07-2022
049: All the juicy details of Aimee's 7-day couples’ Tantra retreat with Alex Waters!
A couple of weeks ago, I told you that I’d invited a guy I’d met once to join me for a 7-day tantra retreat for couples.    I’d been wanting to go on another Tantra retreat for a while, and I felt so called to this retreat for couples, even though I’m not currently in a relationship. And then I felt pulled to invite Alex Waters, even though I barely knew him at all.    I know, I know: on the surface, it doesn’t make sense.    But I’ve learned something so important in these last few years: our true, soul-led desires make a deeper kind of sense. And they’re worth following, for so many reasons.    There is SO much to share about those 7 days. So many challenges and unexpected moments of devotion and surrender, and I know that I am forever changed. This absolutely feels like an expansive beginning.    And as it turns out, Alex was the perfect partner for that week — open, vulnerable, adventurous, compassionate, all-in, and sexy af.    So in today’s podcast, we sit down together and talk about our week together, what we learned, and what’s next. This is what happens when you say an outrageous yes to an outrageous invitation! What you’ll learn in this episode:  What agreements, boundaries, and intentions we had in place before the retreatHow letting go of expectations created a space for exploration and playThe things that surprised us the mostThe sexy assignments we had each dayWhat triggered us — and how we moved through those moments togetherWhat’s next for us (hint: I just got my tickets to Australia!)   Want to get a taste of Aimee + Ellie’s teaching and the Desire on Fire Community, for FREE? Join The Pleasure Revolution, 5-Day Challenge, Aug 8-12, 2022.  Use the code PODCAST at checkout, to register for free! www.thepleasurechallenge.com    Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Alex: Insta:
048: Your feminine energy is rocket fuel for manifestation, with Kim Mellor
13-07-2022
048: Your feminine energy is rocket fuel for manifestation, with Kim Mellor
My friend Kim Mellor is a total powerhouse. She’s a manifestation queen, a coach, a podcaster, a changer of lives.    She was so used to harnessing her masculine side — the doer, the achiever, the get-er-done mentality. She had mastered mindset and business strategies for success.    But she said she always felt like something was missing. There was a part of her that was hidden away. Suffocated, tamped down, numbed.    Like a lot of Brits, she was shy about talking about sex and desire. But it was more than that — it was like she couldn’t speak her truth when it mattered most. She avoided conflict. She couldn’t ask for what she wanted in relationships, and consequently was attracting connections that left her feeling lonely and resentful.   When we met in Bali 18 months ago, we immediately hit it off. She was surrounded by women who embody a different way of approaching desire, sex, success, and work. It was triggering for her … but it was also undeniably appealing.    I could sense in her this desire to start embracing her feminine energy — to say yes to more softness, surrender, rest, and trust in the guidance of her inner knowing.    In this interview, we talk about what happened when she finally said yes to Pleasure Mastery — what came up, what challenged her, what shifted, and what has totally transformed for her in just over a year.    What you’ll learn in this episode: What happens when a manifestation queen also becomes a Pleasure QueenThe major thing that blocks women from saying yes to a desire-led lifeWhat’s underneath all this work around pleasure (it’s probably not what you think)The biggest thing Kim has gotten from this work, and how it has affected every area of life, love, and business   Want to get a taste of Aimee + Ellie’s teaching and the Desire on Fire Community, for FREE? Join The Pleasure Revolution, 5-Day Challenge, Aug 8-12, 2022.  Use the code PLEASURE at checkout, to register for free! www.thepleasurechallenge.com    Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Kim: Instagram: Website:
047: Embracing Low Periods & Sobriety as a Key to Experiencing True Desire with Paige Wilhide
06-07-2022
047: Embracing Low Periods & Sobriety as a Key to Experiencing True Desire with Paige Wilhide
We’re often conditioned to see an intense “down” — time of loss, grief, anger, struggle, jealousy, betrayal, stuck-ness — as something we need to get past as quickly as possible so we can get back to having fun and experiencing pleasure.    Our culture says that feeling “up” is good and feeling “down” is bad, which can lead us to compulsive behaviors that momentarily make us feel good — even when they’re not healthy for us long-term and actually pull us away from the things we say we want the most.    I recently sat down with my good friend Paige Wilhide. You may know her as an amazing breakup coach or the emcee at our Desire on Fire Live events.    In this episode, we talked about the reckoning and awakening that brought her to her knees and landed her in Bali — and what she discovered about healing, real sisterhood, letting go of external validation from men, and the beauty in the mess.    There’s something in Paige’s journey that we can all relate to. And there’s so much power in the question she wrestled with: What happens when we stop hiding out from the transformative work that our down time is inviting us into?    And could it be that the pain we’re avoiding right now is the very thing that, when faced honestly, would finally allow us to experience our desires and pleasures at their fullest? What you’ll learn in this episode: What it means to “approve” of the down times — and why it’s so crucialWhy Paige chose to enter a 12-Step recovery program, and what she learned from the initial  “withdrawal” periodThe invitation from Aimee that was the turning pointWhat happened when she shared vulnerably at her first women’s circle in BaliHow to deal with this one HUGE misconception about desire that many women have Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Paige: Instagram: Website:
046: Excavating Your Shadows with Adrian Ellison
29-06-2022
046: Excavating Your Shadows with Adrian Ellison
One of the biggest struggles of the personal/spiritual growth community right now is the tendency to trip into spiritual bypassing.    The wounded parts of ourselves are too painful, so people default to nothing but “love and light!”    Adrian Ellison is here to disrupt that unhealthy tendency. She’s a modern-day medicine woman out of Austin TX who understands that the Shadow is a critical part of our wholeness. When we deny it, it doesn’t go away. It runs the show. Only when we allow ourselves to see it do we have a chance of operating from a more grounded, healed place.    Today, through her Awaken the Medicine community, she shows people how to acknowledge, understand, and integrate their Shadows so that they can activate their own intuitive healer within.    This is such a powerful episode with so much that is essential for us to understand right now.    In this episode, you’ll learn: What shadow work is, what it isn’t, and why it’s a non-negotiable part of true growthHow un-dealt with shadows can manifest in chronic physical, emotional, and relational illnessWhat’s going on in the brain — and how to get out of triggered unconscious responseHow shadow work can heal pieces of us we didn’t even know were woundedConcrete ways in which this work helps us deal in a healthy way with relational conflict — even the really big stuff   ----   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Adrian: Insta: Website:
045: Staying Sexy While Parenting, with Megan Lambert & James Mattingley
22-06-2022
045: Staying Sexy While Parenting, with Megan Lambert & James Mattingley
Staying emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually intimate is challenging enough for any of us, at any time in life.    But add to that mix a newborn — with the sleep deprivation, body changes, constant outflow of energy and limited inflow, and the vulnerability of needing so many new things and making so many adjustments — and the dance of intimacy takes on many unexpected steps.    So how do you keep the dance sexy? How do you stay sensual, playful, and open while navigating the challenges of new parenthood?    When it comes to cultivating unguarded communication, connected conflict resolution, and transformational sex for committed couples — there’s no better pair than Megan Lambert and James Mattingley.    Both as a couple themselves and as coaches, these two are amazing at embodying the sacred feminine and masculine while keeping it extremely real and down to earth.    In this interview, I go deep with both Megan and James and ask questions about many of the challenges couples face in this new chapter of their lives: making time for intimacy, learning to see the tender need underneath the complaint, getting to know your body all over again, and taking radical responsibility for the quality of connection.    I learned so much from these two in this conversation, and I know you will, too, no matter where you are in your journey.    What You’ll Learn In This Episode:    The biggest things that have changed since Megan and James’s baby was bornThe choices we have in every moment of conflict and complaintThe hilarious (and oh-so-honest!) nickname they have for their babyHow Megan got reacquainted with her pleasure, and how they rediscovered their sexHow they keep it sensual and attentive, even when things feel crazyThe counter-intuitive truth about spontaneity Megan and James’s favorite daily tools for nourishing connection Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Megan here:  IG - Website - Connect with James here:  IG: Website:
044: Aimee's First Sex with a Woman!
15-06-2022
044: Aimee's First Sex with a Woman!
This is Aimee, and I recently had an experience that was exciting, expanding, and full of surprises of all kinds — my first time having sex with another woman.    This felt like a big deal for a number of reasons (which I share in this episode), so I invited my dear friend Kelley Bode back to the podcast to interview me and have a real, no-holds-barred convo about this encounter.    In this episode, you’ll get it all: the draw I couldn’t deny, the ways I felt challenged, how I stayed true to myself, and all the juicy (and oily!) details of the night itself.    This is a pretty vulnerable share for me, but I want to explore it out loud, because my hope is that it can bring some opening for other women who might have been in the same place as I was.    I’m on this journey to honor and listen to ALL of my desire — which includes both my sacred “yes” and my sacred “no.” And part of this work is recognizing when (and why) something that’s been a “no” for a long time might become a “yes” when the person, place, and time are in alignment.    I think you’re gonna love this fun, sexy, playful, electric conversation!   What you’ll learn in this episode:   My past experiences of desiring women — and how this time was differentHow this woman challenged my Erotic Blueprint in super surprising waysWhy it’s totally possible to have a desire and not be attached to its immediate fulfillmentHow I used super-clear, up-front communication to make this experience the most fulfilling it could be (and what we miss out on when we don’t say the thing that needs to be said)What this “means” about my sexual orientation (probably not what you expect) ---- Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Kelley Bode: Check out Kelley’s Instagram here:     Resources mentioned in this episode: Betty Dodson - My Romantic Love Wars David Deida:
043: Maiden, Mother, Badass Entrepreneur—Identity & Biz with Cait Scudder
08-06-2022
043: Maiden, Mother, Badass Entrepreneur—Identity & Biz with Cait Scudder
The incomparable Cait Scudder joined us in March, in her 3rd trimester with her second baby — and she is ALIVE with wisdom, clarity, and the real power of a woman who knows who she is and who is willing to hold and share the fullness of her true self.    In 2017, Cait was a scrappy solopreneur expat in Bali. She’d moved there to be with her now-husband Toby, trying to get a side hustle going, not quite sure where she belonged and seriously struggling with imposter syndrome.    Five years later, she’s a lit-up, wildly successful, empowered, Forbes-featured, TEDx-speaking, podcast-hosting entrepreneur with over $15M in client revenue.    And here’s what we love even more: she doesn’t hide the tough stuff. She is so honest, so genuine, so no-holds-barred about both the glory and the struggle. It’s easy to see why clients love her and why she is a mentor and inspiration to so many — including us. You’re going to love this conversation!   What you’ll learn from Cait in this episode:   Her journey from teacher to multi-7-figure business coachHarnessing the real power of our multidimensional selvesWhat Cait says saved her from postpartum depressionThe importance of a solid backend in your bizHow she handles “Mom Guilt” (it’s a real thing) Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Cait:  www.cait.co Check out Cait’s Instagram here:   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here:   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here:
042: Pregnancy Q&A with Ellie (recorded live in our Inner Circle Membership!)
01-06-2022
042: Pregnancy Q&A with Ellie (recorded live in our Inner Circle Membership!)
If you’ve experienced the journey of pregnancy or have been curious about it, you’ve probably already noticed how fraught it can be. There are so many opinions, voices, and expectations out there about what to do, what not to do, what to eat, and how it all “should” be.    What if there’s a way to step outside all those clamoring cultural voices and just tune inward?    As you know, our very own Ellie just had her baby on May 23rd!    In this unique Q&A (while she was still pregnant), Ellie offers her firsthand experience of cultivating a pregnancy journey that has been honest, nourished, sensual, and deeply connected to her body’s innate wisdom. She shares how she plans to spend those essential first 40 days with her new baby boy, how she’s stayed healthy, her surprising cravings, why she’s planning for a home birth, and so much more.     In this episode, you’ll learn about: Holding sacred boundaries when it comes to talking about your pregnancy and birth choicesDoulas and midwives: what’s the difference?Trusting and surrendering to the process of becoming a motherHow staying in touch with sensuality can dramatically shift your pregnancy experience   This episode was recorded live in our Inner Circle Membership!   Ellie’s Pregnancy Resources mentioned in the episode:   Links to order Juice Plus:  Capsules (I use fruit, veggie, berry and vegan omegas) Shakes    Why I take Juice Plus as my prenatal   Body Oil, Burt's Bees Mama Hydrating & Smoothing Skin Care with Vitamin E, 100% Natural, 4 Ounce   My doula    Books: Spiritual Midwifery: Fourth Edition   The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality   The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother Join us (and 300+ women!) in-person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 1-2 in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee:   Connect with Ellie:
041: Bringing Care and Consciousness to Relationship Conflict with Bryan Reeves
25-05-2022
041: Bringing Care and Consciousness to Relationship Conflict with Bryan Reeves
We love inviting aligned male energy into the Desire on Fire orbit!     Bryan Reeves is a former US Air Force Captain — a man’s man in the eyes of the world who grew up with all the emotion-denying messages that young American boys and men grow up with.    After a debilitating heartbreak in his late 20s, he finally decided to undertake the huge journey back to himself. He learned how to break free from the damaging social conditioning that was keeping him from experiencing real love and intimacy, and today he is a globally-renowned relationship coach and author.    We discuss some of the major struggles men and women face today in relationships, including how to have authentic, skillful communication and how to navigate conflict in a way that preserves deep respect, love, and connection. Ladies, this is the perfect episode to listen to with your partner!    In this episode, we explore:   How healthy relationships can help balance and soothe our nervous systems  A game-changing way to approach honesty (we’re often missing a secret ingredient)Why “controlling” your emotions isn’t the answer — and what you actually need for better wellbeing and life-giving relationships     Connect with Bryan:   "The Boundaries Program: Relationships Suck Without Boundaries!" is on sale at   Join us (and 300+ women!) in-person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 1-2 in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee:   Connect with Ellie:
040: 3 Women Share Their Real Desire On Fire Experience
18-05-2022
040: 3 Women Share Their Real Desire On Fire Experience
You’ve heard us (Ellie and Aimee) talk a lot about the live Desire on Fire Experience — but what are the actual experiences of women who have attended?    In this episode, we dive into a conversation with Jeanette, Caitlin, and Rachelle — three amazing past Desire on Fire Experience attendees. These women all came to The Experience from very different places. They were in varying seasons of life, had individual longings and struggles, and (as you’ll hear) all had distinct responses to specific moments of the event.    They offer an intimate, courageous look at what they found inside The Experience: what they felt confronted by, what broke them open, and what’s changed for them since.    We know you’re going to love this conversation, and hopefully you’ll hear some of your own story and feel the possibility of what The Experience could offer you.    In this episode, you’ll hear about:   All the judgements, discomforts, and insecurities that came up for them along the wayLearning how to discern resistance — and knowing when it’s right to break through and say “yes” anywayWhat we can do when we encounter women who have what we wish we hadWhat has shifted for these women as a result of participating in the Experience and other courses through Desire on FirePLUS — how to save $500 on the upcoming Desire on Fire Experience in October 2022 Connect with Caitlin Lili: Instagram:   Connect with Rachelle Hoppel: Instagram:   Connect with Jeanette Soloma Hale: Instagram: Join us (and 300+ women!) in-person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 1-2 in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: Come and join our FB community: And connect with us on Instagram:   Connect with Aimee:   Connect with Ellie: