The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

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Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

Dr Emily - Joy Decision
5d ago
Dr Emily - Joy Decision
Have you ever felt so elated, that in that very moment, you felt yourself and the world around you were in perfect harmony? That feeling is joy!  But for many of us, ‘joy’ can seem elusive, almost impossible to experience, or an emotion that we feel we just don’t have time for. And for some of us, it may feel like we have lost the ability to experience joy altogether.  In this episode, our resident psychologist Dr Em explores the experience of Joy. What is it and how we can tap into it. We learn how mobilising joy is and how infectious and connecting it can be.  Because as Dr Em explains, we are often surrounded by joy in our everyday lives,  but don’t pause long enough to see it.  This is an incredibly powerful, uplifting conversation, but it may be difficult to listen to if you're currently experiencing hardship or trauma. If you'd like to skip this one, we encourage you to come back when you're ready. To watch this episode on youtube follow this link: https://youtu.be/JPJ5UXm-5LI To listen to Gina Chick’s episode of The Imperfects, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/Ginachick. To hear Sean Turnell’s episode of The Imperfects, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3UaXmJ3 To stream Inside Out on Disney+ follow this link https://bit.ly/49C7gc7 To read the Betoota Advocate follow this link https://bit.ly/3JkO3kC, or you can read The Onion here https://bit.ly/3U1SUfg. The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
An Imperfect Chat About Men
18-04-2024
An Imperfect Chat About Men
In this bonus episode of The Imperfects, Hugh, Ryan and Josh have an imperfect conversation about mens violence against women. To say it's a massive problem in Australia is an understatement. Violence and aggression can take many forms that span from small micro-aggressions all the way through to rape and murder. It effects ALL women, with the most vulnerable and marginalised in our community, at the greatest risk. We don’t have the answers to solve it. But we don’t want to remain silent. Through this conversation and many more we'll have on the podcast, it’s our hope that more men start to have the conversation as well. You can follow Penny Moodie’s advocacy on instagram here, https://bit.ly/3JIBf81. To listen to our previous episode on consent with Chanel Contos follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/mhDPOcpH Or to purchase Chanel's book, Consent Laid Bare, follow this link: https://bit.ly/49BNDRC To listen to our previous conversation about men’s violence with Tarang Chawla follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/9ps_S1kW To learn more about this problem or we recommend Our Watch https://bit.ly/3w0BQhV & White Ribbon https://bit.ly/3W6nMhs If you are a man concerned about your behaviour please contact No To Violence: https://bit.ly/3UlyiA5 If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend the national 24-hour sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732.Or, you can call SafeSteps, Victoria's 24/7 family violence crisis service, on 1800 015 188, or visit this link: https://bit.ly/4b1SlsQ. They can provide financial and material aid, pet safety support and court advocacy, as well as support to people with a disability. Or, for further support, contact The Orange Door, who can link you with family violence and parental support services: https://bit.ly/3Q8efTb If you need support now, use Ask Izzy: a free website and service that connects people in need with housing, a meal, money help, family violence support & counselling: https://bit.ly/3xAVnG4 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fern Brady - Autistic in a Non-Autistic World
14-04-2024
Fern Brady - Autistic in a Non-Autistic World
In this episode, Scottish comedian, Fern Brady joins us in the The Vulnerabilitea House. In pulling the card “how would your ambitions change if you only had one year to live?”, Fern shares a very recent story, after receiving a terrifying phone call from her doctor. Fern also discusses being diagnosed with Autism in her 30s, 20 years after telling a doctor she thought she was Autistic.  Fern talks with with great insight and humour, not only about life since her diagnosis, but what it was like living for 30 years with Autism and not knowing - always feeling different to the average person…yet having no idea why. She's an all round brilliant human and we know you are going to love this conversation as much as we did!  To watch the full episode on YouTube click here: https://youtu.be/-DLkVQj8N34 To purchase Fern’s book, 'Strong Female Character', follow this link: https://bit.ly/4aSot20. To see Fern’s Comedy special on Netlfix follow this link: https://bit.ly/49AkQNp. And you can see Fern’s hilarious promo featuring her dad, here https://bit.ly/3vVRb3a There are still tickets available Fern’s antipodean Live tour “I gave you milk to drink”. Tickets still available in Sydney https://bit.ly/49usjgM, & NZ https://bit.ly/3TYM0r9. To learn more about the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard Fern talks about in this episode, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3Q466iC You can purchase the book Aspergirls by Rudy Simone here https://bit.ly/3QmYKXZ, and you can stream Six Feet Under here https://bit.ly/3TTZRiD. To try Sam Harris’s meditation app you can follow this link: https://bit.ly/4d7HrUz Or to read his book Lying, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3vGDHIK To see Susan Boyle’s Britain’s Got Talent Audition, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3VTeKUY The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Elizabeth Day - The Me-est Version Of Me
31-03-2024
Elizabeth Day - The Me-est Version Of Me
We’re not sure if podcasts can date. But if they could we would want to date Elizabeth Day’s podcast - ‘How to fail?’. (A proposition Hugh awkwardly put to Elizabeth in the final moments of the show). This conversation covers a lot of ground. Elizabeth vulnerably discusses her journey through infertility, IVF and her eventual decision to stop fertility treatment; we explore the role exercise and strength training can have in reclaiming one's connection to their body; Ryan and Elizabeth bond over a love of reality TV; and there’s much much more. It’s fair to say there was a lot of chat and a lot of love in the room for this one. Elizabeth Day is a Journalist, podcaster and author. The podcast ‘How to fail’ is a brilliant (and wildly successful…ironically) pod that shares intimate conversations with guests about their experiences with failure. And we couldn't recommend it any more highly. You can find links to Elizabeth’s podcast, her books and everything else she is doing here https://bit.ly/3VCnSNE. To watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/b01GMVnoRuk  We encourage you to visit your local bookstore to purchase any of the books mentioned in this episode, but you can also find them here. Friendaholic - Elizabeth Day https://bit.ly/4a7PzCk.Strength to strength - Arthur C Brooks https://bit.ly/3VCaZTD And you can listen to our episode of The Imperfects with Pat Cummins here: https://link.chtbl.com/o_uN8l_H This episode discusses fertility treatments, miscarriage, grief and acceptance. If these topics feel like too much for you to hear right now, please revisit this episode when you are ready.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Gary Barlow - The Pain Behind The Pleasure
24-03-2024
Gary Barlow - The Pain Behind The Pleasure
Very few people have experienced Gary Barlow’s level of success and fame. He’s the lead singer of the nineties British pop band Take That, he’s won 6 Ivor Novello Awards for song writing & composing, sold more the 50 million albums and filled stadiums of screaming fans across the world! But despite all this, as we’ve come to learn, he’s one of the nicest, most genuine people going around. In this episode, Gary shares his experience of rising to such fame, and what happens when he lost it. He opens up about the devastating burden of jealousy between him and bandmate Robbie Williams, his journey with disordered eating, the loss of his daughter Poppy and the love of his life, the one constant through it all - his wife. So sit back and pour yourself a cup of vulnerabilitea, this is a big one. To buy tickets to Take That’s upcoming tour of Australia and New Zealand visit: https://bit.ly/3INExGA. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4crzmJT To hear Ryan’s episode on shame & jealousy, mentioned in this episode, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/D_21alUg To hear Hamish Blake’s episode on his friendship with Ryan & Hugh, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/IppXW33h. To listen to Gina Chick’s episode, follow this link https://link.chtbl.com/Ginachick. The Robbie Williams documentary is available on Netflix: https://bit.ly/493WWta. For film recommendation ‘Salt Burn’ follow this link: https://apple.co/3x3GvQp. To purchase your own set of Vulnerabilitea House Cards, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3PBFlkR If you or someone you love is experiencing disordered eating, we recommend the following organisations: The Butterfly Foundation https://bit.ly/48YCSZeEating Disorders Families Australia https://bit.ly/3TLU7J5Uncovery https://bit.ly/3x4IOCO This episode with Gary Barlow includes a discussion about disordered eating and a conversation about a child who was delivered still born. If this feels like too much for you right now, please come back to this episode when you're feeling ready.The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr Emily - Social Anxiety, They’ve Got It Too
17-03-2024
Dr Emily - Social Anxiety, They’ve Got It Too
“Get your butterflies in formation”. If you take one thing away from this episode, it’s how to handle the nervous, anxious, flutter of stomach butterflies that arises when we’re socially anxious. Social interactions can be challenging. You may believe that everyone else has all their shit figured out and can effortlessly walk into a social situation and just be themselves. But it turns out, we all, at some point, get social anxiety. In this episode, our resident psychologist Dr Emily, delves deeper into what it means to experience social anxiety, before during & after a social situation. She explores the ways in which anxiety shows up, where it might come from and what we can do to “get our butterflies in formation”. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/I53wE7epCX0  To listen to Dr Emily's episode on The Inner Critic, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/Innercritic To listen to Dr Emily's episode on Rejection Sensitivity, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/rejectionsensitivity_ To purchase The Resilience Project's gratitude & wellbeing journals, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3RUBke7 To learn more about the four domains of social anxiety & read David Moscovitch's work, follow this link: https://bit.ly/43fDuIy To learn more about The Spotlight Effect & see research Dr Em sited by Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Husted Medvec, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4cd4Rr0 For book recommendation, How To be Yourself, by Ellen Hendriksen and to learn more about her free online course 'Rise Above Social Anxiety', follow this link: https://bit.ly/3TAol1o To dive deeper into Lisa Feldman Barret's work, including the research on reframing anxiety as arousal, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3VhjuTV To learn more about Safety Behaviours and their role in social anxiety, follow these links: https://bit.ly/3wTqBIp & https://bit.ly/43hfp4a & https://bit.ly/3vhjR6oTo participate in a free Cognitive Behavioural Therapy study run by The Black Dog Institute & UNSW, aimed at reducing social anxiety, follow this link: https://bit.ly/49cvV6M The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential
10-03-2024
Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential
World leading organisational psychologists, Adam Grant is this week's guest in The Academy of Imperfection and honestly, we can’t believe how much ground the brilliant man managed to cover in this episode.  I mean, sure, you might expect him to touch on the value of embracing our imperfections. Or perhaps he might explore imposter syndrome & the importance in believing in others' belief in yourself. Or how procrastination can actually be a creative force. Or maybe even some tips for those of us who have found ourselves languishing. All of this might seem pretty reasonable stuff to cover. However you might not expect a deep dive into the lessons learned from a junior olympic diving career or an actual magic trick! This ep covers it all…and much much more.  To watch this episode on youtube (and see the magic trick) follow this link: https://youtu.be/s2sY3-mT-u8  If you’re interested in hearing more from Adam, the best place to start is his website: https://adamgrant.net Recommended books & articles mentioned in the episode: Hidden Potential, The Science of Achieving Greater Things, by Adam Grant: https://bit.ly/3wBynWWGive and Take, A Revolutionary Approach to Success, by Adam Grant: https://bit.ly/3TrKwqICreativity Inc: Overcoming Unseen Forces That Stand In The Way of True Inspiration, by Ed Catmull: https://bit.ly/49ZgNurBorn Standing Up: A Comics Life, by Steve Martin: https://bit.ly/3TnZTjKIt’s Called Languishing (article) by Adam Grant https://nyti.ms/48J86Uf Listen to Adam’s interview with Steve Martin on his ReThinking Podcast: https://bit.ly/3Tosvtb and transcript: https://bit.ly/3T3cKXa To watch Matthew Mitcham’s dive, follow think link: https://bit.ly/3InmPJJ To listen to our episode with Dr Emily on Truth vs Harmony, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/R8gly4ci    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half
17-12-2023
Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half
Heads up: Mrs Claus is VERY close friends with comedian, Urzila Carlson. As such, this Special Christmas Episode is definitely not appropriate for kids.Last year, we were honoured to sit down with the one and only Santa Claus as he joined us in The Vulnerabilitea House. A big thank you to Glenn Robbins for organising that interview for us! Link below if you missed it.This year, Hugh, Josh and Ryan meet the woman who claims to be the brains behind the operation, Mrs Claus (or is it Ms Claus?). In a very busy time of the year for her, she generously picks a few cards from the Vulnerabilitea House card deck and shares what really goes down behind the scenes on… The Pole.The Imperfects will donate all ad revenue from this episode to Urzila Carlson's charity of choice, Women’s Refuge. They are New Zealand's largest nationwide organisation that supports and helps women and children experiencing family violence. If you'd like to know more about the charity, or make a donation, follow this link: https://bit.ly/41lUUTd To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/48fzwlf To see Urzila Carlson live in 2024, follow this link: https://bit.ly/46RdhAnTo listen to last years Vulnerabilitea House episode with Santa Claus, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/santaclaus. Or to watch it, follow this link: https://bit.ly/41or14A To listen to Urzila's podcast, That's Enough Already, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3RDowb6 To purchase our Vulnerabilitea House card sets, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3PBFlkRSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing
03-12-2023
Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing
Dear Men,Please listen to this episode about consent and rape culture. Hugh, Ryan & Josh xOn the face of it, this Academy of Imperfection with Chanel Contos may seem like a heavy episode. An episode about consent, rape culture and sexual violence might not seem like an episode that concerns you. That may be true, but if the #MeToo movement taught us anything, it’s that you probably know someone who’s either been raped or sexually assaulted in some way. We have a lot to learn about consent, and we owe it to the women in our lives to listen to Chanel Contos.To learn more about Chanel, her work and the Teach Us Consent campaign, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3QVhlK0 To purchase Chanel's book, 'Consent Laid Bare', follow this link: https://bit.ly/40Z0XghRecommended TV series, Sex Education and Heart Break High can be viewed on Netflix.  To view a version of the 'rape culture pyramid', follow this link: https://bit.ly/49XPFgh If you have experienced, or are at risk of sexual violence, sexual assault, family or domestic violence, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you are feeling unsafe, always call the police on 000.The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.