Let’s face it. There are times you can’t stand your neighbor’s guts. The problem is, contempt and disgust for people who think differently from you is the death knell of democracy, says writer Anand Giridharadas. Over the last few years, he set out in search of the lost art of persuasion, and found it: among activists, cult-deprogrammers, political organizers and deep canvassers. Giridharadas shares what he learned and offers some advice on how to talk to your friends — and enemies — this holiday season.