Settling Is Bullshit

Cate Blouke

Sweary life and relationship advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Playful, tender-hearted, and trauma-informed. We'll talk about authenticity, vulnerability, self-compassion, self-care, sobriety, glitter... all the good shit that helps us show up for ourselves and each other just a little bit better every day.

Make brave choices.

Claim your joy!

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05 | Embracing the Messy Sides of Self-love with Dawn Church
May 1 2024
05 | Embracing the Messy Sides of Self-love with Dawn Church
The happy shiny aspects of self-love might get the most time in the spotlight, but the messy parts are just as in need of our attention. In this delightful conversation with personal coach Dawn Church, we talk about how experiencing the full range of self-love involves welcoming and attending to all parts of ourselves, even the ones we'd prefer to ignore. Dawn even manages to convince me that meltdowns are a form of self-love and self-care, much as we might hate them while they’re happening.Resources, References, and Links:Dawn’s website: Tempered – Dawn on Instagram: – Cyrus’ “Flowers.” Cyrus performed this smash hit at the 2024 Grammy awards, and I definitely have had the song on repeat lately: yourself on a date. My post about taking self-love seriously: “Take Yourself on a F*cking Date” – Farm. This BBC miniseries follows two archeologists and a domestic historian as they spend a year on a farm in Britain, recreating the working and living conditions of Edwardian farmers. It’s charming! Frank. Iconic school supply designer of the 1980s whose work features cute animals and vivid colors. Definitely responsible for aspects of my current identity and aesthetic. Work. We talk a lot in this episode about the “parts of us” that have different needs. There are a number of therapeutic approaches that use parts work as a tool for healing. “What Is Parts Work” – metaphors. This isn’t the first time I’ve gone down this road, lol. And I can’t resist sharing my favorite extended pie metaphor from the blog. “WTF Does It Mean to ‘Get Over’ Someone?” – The most accessible book I’ve read about trauma (and one I would recommend to anyone) is “What Happened to You?” by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry – Pandas. Seriously the best. “Adorable Red Panda Facts You Didn't Know” –
03 | Using Movement to Shift Perspective with Dr. Sarah Roth
Apr 17 2024
03 | Using Movement to Shift Perspective with Dr. Sarah Roth
In this conversation with Dr. Sarah Roth, an ER physician and fulfillment coach, we chat about the neuroscience of change and the way that physically moving our bodies can facilitate shifts in mood and mindset. Because our connective tissue has more neurons and neuroreceptors than any other organ in the body, any physical movement we make can have a substantial impact on our mental outlook – which we can leverage when trying to implement changes in our lives. Sarah and I also talk about the importance of self-awareness and choice, the need for self-compassion and self-care, and the ways that intentionality can lead to more joyful living.Resources, References, and Links:Metaphor and stuckness. My post where I discuss feeling into the stuckness: “Action Fuels Motivation (Seriously)” – An article offering more details about proprioception: “Proprioception: Making Sense of Body Position” – posing. Amy Cuddy’s famous TED talk about the impact of power posing (*note, her findings have not been replicated, so there is much debate about this. On a personal level, I’ve found it really impactful): “Your body language may shape who you are | Amy Cuddy | TED” – poses. Article about the pose and examples: Highly recommend the Kova Collection from Albany Park: blankets. “Weighted Blanket Benefits” – Rock. As of publication, you can watch the original Fraggle Rock (1983) on Apple TV. fatigue. It’s real! And definitely something to pay attention to. “Decision Fatigue: What It Is and How to Avoid It” – perspective. My post about looking back at things with generosity: “Viewing Our Past with Generosity” –’s Website: Head to Heart Fulfillment –