Here ye, here ye, the Quaranteam has come together to decree the biggest issues in this (dating) world as we go into 2023. Have we truly adjusted back from our 'Rona lives to the new normal? Is the term 'quiet quitting' ridiculous or super ridiculous? Did work from home kill the the work friends vibe forever? Lume wants to know the answer to a simple question, "why do women like to be treated badly?" The CEO has a few thoughts... She also believes that most straight men do not like women(trigger warning). This leads to a chat about women claiming that they have an issue with having platonic male friends. Is the friendzone real or nah?QQH (34:19): First up is a "Watcha Watching" as Kristen goes over both the movie "Amsterdam' (on HBO Max/Xfinity) and the show "Chloe" on Amazon Prime. Then Lume goes OFF about a particular flying pet peeve he cannot stand. The Tory Lanez/Meg the Stallion trial has begun and there are already some pretty intriguing revelations. Brittney Griner is finally released from the Russian gulag and back in America but somebody wants to make sure the real crime is highlighted. Lastly the CEO has an issue with a with self publishing haters that leads to a recommendation on resumes that no one will be shocked by.

New opening segment alert as Lume lays down on the therapy couch for a quick sesh. How long before a dry spell rage becomes zombie brain haze?The main topic tonight is brought to you by Prince Petty aka Lumenatorgv. Starting from the "read receipts game" the convo delves into the question of the most petty act committed by an ex against the Quaranteam?…. Or maybe…. Perpetrated BY them!? Sending the final "notes app" length text before cutting somebody off- top tier petty or just a bad idea? There is plenty of petty in the world and the team highlights some of the best stories they have ever heard.QQH(43:40): Twitter topic of the week- if a man takes you on a date to a sporting event… in the cheap seats, would you cuff or drop? Kristen gives Lume a history lesson on Shania Twain’s unbelievable dating history. Lastly, airdropping nudes in public spots… the move or just plain wild?

Gather 'round the speakers, the Quaranteam is ready to deliver their sermon! And so it was written that Kristen would proclaim to the listeners the tell tale signs of RT, AKA Religious Trauma. While some have emerged from a church-centered childhood much, much worse off than others (we won't get into the truly criminal), it's the CEO's humble opinion that there are certainly some common repercussions of good 'ole fashioned adolescent slut-shaming that creep far into adulthood. She first recounts her own tale of a long past sneaky-link turned internal battleground which resulted in fleeing the scene, only to return the very next night with stronger resolve to see the situation through. To put it simply, Kristen's first commandment of RT: WE FEEL GUILTY BUT WE ARE HORNY. AMEN! This sparks Lume to recall a situation with a past lover where at the time he was entirely confused, though in hindsight perhaps some flippy floppy behavior should have been a stronger sign of some deeply buried RT? Tune in for the full juicy details including some peak Doctor Jekyll / Mr Hyde, sexting one minute to breaking up the next, plot lines. Shoutout to Beyoncé and the hit “Church Girls” which might be the official companion song to this week's episode. Finally, the crew close out the RT discussion with a timely storytime: we don’t usually get closure after f*cked situations (pun intended), but when one does, it certainly is satisfying.QQH: Social media is buzzing on a bunch of hot topics. First, Kristen breaks down a new TikTok interview dating trend that her cohost just cannot get behind. Next, Lume takes a second to cook on Golden State Warrior Draymond Green's recent "work spat". Lastly, is it really that crazy to order $28.00 of fast food?

Took a long time but the team is finally taking their talents to the altar! This week is all about weddings, more specifically how to handle them as a single attendee. After Kristen delivers a brief disclaimer on her general distaste for the venture as a whole (you won’t catch her in a white dress), the crew gets into the matter of whether asking somebody to be your wedding date as a FIRST date is a vibe or disaster in the making. Lume has 3 "rules” to determine whether he would buy in to this bold move.”Wedding Crashers”, unrealistic bro comedy of the early 2000’s or tried and true single life code book? Fact or myth that going to a wedding solo dolo is ideal? Better to know everyone there or be relegated to the double digit tables? What difference does overall +\- 100 guests make? Speaking of legends, is the notion that everyone looks their best at a wedding good or bad for the dating world? All this talk leads to an aside about the statement, “good on paper"… and Lume is triggered. Is it good enough if somebody tries to set you up just because “you’re both single”?QQH(42:35): Something is most certainly in the air and the Quaranteam is here to call it out. First up, a bitter old man that is desecrating the grave of his ex-wife...over 30 years later! Next, they say bad things come in 3's and the most recent three divorcees have everyone shocked… (one particularly close to Lume) Lastly, the listeners have been feeding Kristen with great stories of dating app exploits, and this week a cancelled first date results in a very, sad, boy.

Seems like everyone in Lume's life (CEO included) is driving him mad to the point of a good ole fashioned story rant. First is an oddly innocent DM slide leading to all sorts of nonsense during a night out. While the team doesn't promote homewrecking, when it becomes so sloppy and in your face one can only go mad. PSA to the people, if it is not History Week don't ask Lume for the plan he ain't got it. He also can't seem to understand why people's significant others don't seem to be even slightly interested in trying to make nice with their bae's BFFs? Speaking of bae's, support for them is always high on the Quaranteam but make sure you aren't blocking because that will become a problem!All of the Luminator's ranting leads Kristen to letting somebody know that she doesn't like to beef with women, but if you do dumb things don't expect a kind response. Finally, it seems that the hosts may have started the process of switching personalities as we approach the end of Season 2!QQH (35:09) : Kristen had no clue that a pod she listened to years ago would come back around when hearing about the release of Adnan Syed. Is Lume's beloved Tom Brady on thin ice? Sounds like it based on recent comments from his wife, Giselle. Lastly, the crew goes in on all that is the Adam Levine "thing"?

The team is back and this week is all about them telling us how they really feel! An admission from the CEO leads to a hookup story time with an unexpected ending. Lume truly enjoys going to weddings but there is one question he simply cannot stand any longer while attending (Spoiler alert it starts with “Where is” and ends with “your girlfriend”). How does one deal with marriage-minded family members? Is it an insult or compliment to receive the “if we’re both still single when we turn 40” proposition? Lume’s taking no prisoners this week and as per usual the CEO is ready to co-sign choosing violence."Hope you doing well" birthday sneak- attack, yay or nay? Somebody on the Quaranteam may have a habit of pulling this off... Lastly, Kristen ends the episode with a PSA about shooting your shot with her via bringing up the podcast, which begs the question: could the crew date somebody who doesn't listen?QQH (41:31): “Watcha Watching” as Kristen breaks down her early impressions of HBO's "House of the Dragon". Next, Lume reports on the newest craze sweeping MLB stadiums, baseball sex!? This spills into talk of one of the most questionable “missed connections” in show history.

Show starts hot as CEO had been saving a TikTok audio clip for on-wax playback… that needless to say has earned a full on roast by the squad. Then, in keeping up with the ‘grilling’ mood, the “chill girl” clip from the latest Red Flags episode (#84) has triggered some men in the comments. Final life update for the squad is a come back around that was very unsuccessful due to a 9 month hiatus…Kristen’s new roommate is already impressing the Quaranteam with her podcast research by providing this week’s Riddle Me This. (12:32) First off, how long after a sleepover is too long to stay around? One single solitary night after a first date on which a great picture was taken on a rooftop, how out of pocket is it to upload said photo to your dating app profile less than 24 hours later?! Despite a valiant effort, the team doesn’t have much justification for the tomfoolery of this story. This leads to a PSA about how to handle fire pics taken by yours truly, the CEO of course. If you see a dating app notification come up on your date’s phone at dinner, is that a concern? Speaking of phone etiquette, we cool with the people that put there phone upside down or out of view?QQH(43:20) Another Lume sports update as he starts with some very stern words for Brooklyn Nets star Kevin Durant. College football is returning and the student athletes ability to get paid via NIL is producing some pretty entertaining content. Lastly, a man who decides to flick (flip?) off another driver becomes the latest one to “fuck around and find out”!

Lume has returned from some overseas research in the motherland Uganda and he has plenty to tell! After getting over the sadness of vacation being done, the crew starts with an admission that the Luminator may in fact be a lot more like the CEO on the dating apps when he's not in America. This leads to a conversation about the levels of appreciation for how aggressive someone is when pursuing you. Is it easier or more difficult to both enjoy a vacation and see what is out there when single? Coming out of retirement has somebody feeling very awkward when it comes to flirting, causing Kristen to put a recent situation on wax! A breakdown on the Uganda nightlife and how going out for 7 days in a row is not as tall a task as it sounds. Also how the vibes differ from the usual spots they usually hit in MN. QQH (29:11): Nothing quick about the Quick Hits this week as the Quaranteam goes back to their favorite island, FBoy Island that is! Season two is complete and it needs a review from the best podcast you'll here today. How does this cast compare to Season 1? Was Tamaris right or wrong for taking the money? (spoiler alert, you all know Kristen's opinion) Are they actually setting up for an FGirl Island? All this and more about the HBO Max original show, so make sure you watch before listening!!!

What’s that sneaking up behind you, lurking in the dark?? It’s not monsters, ghouls, or goblins, it's the horrific hookup stories of the past! First up, the crew regale a horrific TikTok-provided scenario involving shrinkage, feces, a dog, and parents. This leads to a brainstorm on what to do in the dreaded moment when somebody walks in on you gettin’ to the business. Does the identity of the culprit make all the difference? (Spoiler alert- OF COURSE). Should you ‘fess up? Play dead? Pull out the trusty book of excuses? Lume tells his own story of a similar situation in which it seems his plans went a little awry. As a great philosopher/CEO once said, "Nobody likes the dreaded bloodbath scenario". Kristen breaks down her personal do’s and don’ts when it comes to risk, disclosure, and getting over the embarrassment of this common, yet less than ideal situation, in the funniest way possible. Clearly the Quaranteam grew up different as they share their history of sneaking into a hook ups place who lives with the ‘rents. Shoutout MinneSNOWta, ALWAYS making things more difficult. Lastly, If your significant other was asked who their hall pass was and they responded "My ex", is that a dealbreaker or just a heartbreaker?QQH (39:30): First, a "Watcha Watching" as Kristen breaks down the new Neil Patrick Harris show on Netflix called "Uncoupled". Then some breaking news from Lume regarding one of the Quaranteam's favorite drinks. Is washing your FEET in an airport bathroom as crazy as it sounds? Then the rabbit hole that is "RushTok" is revealed in the only way the crew knows how, with a lot of laughs.

Here’s an offer ya can’t refuse, Quarantings is back, back, BACK with the third installment of everyone’s favorite never-ending list of REDDDDDD FLAGSSSSS!!!! Lume jumps right into it with another home decor topic (check out parts 1 and 2 episode 29 and 49) this time directed squarely at the ladies, and by miracle of miracles the CEO hops in with the co-sign. Next up, WHAT ARE THOSE!? Kristen brings the bullets on dusty footwear. Then, the crew debate musical taste and if that’s truly a flag, AKA whether Kristen could date a Drake hater. Guys who want a “chill girl”, red alert or cool as a cucumber? Love languages in the dating app bio, a true act of service or just another a “physical touch” euphemism? What’s the worse text flag, “K” or “sure”? Lastly a quick PSA- don’t talk shit on (make fun of) your partner for social clout! QQH: Whatchu watchin’: Nikki Glazer’s new HBO Max Comedy Special- “Good Clean Filth”. The bizarrely obvious hush money scandal of WWE’s Vince McMahon. A rant on clothes shopping, sizing, and Kristen’s trials and tribulations with online retail.

Another week another episode of the best podcast ya heard today! The team kicks things off with everyone’s latest favorite internet hypothetical: “She’s a 10 but…” Can Lume accept a flat-earther?! How many points is a boat worth?? Is Snapchat a legit form of communication? Is there a difference between a simple phone block vs a full on embargo aka phone, text, socials, Xbox live (smh)!?! Next, Kristen gives a long-time-coming update on a roster mainstay. No spoilers here, but let’s just say the CEO ain’t holding back as we approach her birthday trade deadline. Then, the crew get all the way into it debating what has apparently been a recent YouTuber hot topic, are 90% of men unattractive? Whether true or untrue, are men and/or women too shallow these days? Both Kristen and Lume’s takes my surprise you. A full circle moment remixed as the show closes with more “He’s a 10 but…” Hardcore gamers? Inexperienced men? Non-sports fans? We love a hypothetical this time of year!QQH (45:00): Lume gets things started with a storytime of a fake Cricket league and some Russian gamblers (yes this is real), which spirals into a sidebar to explain the CEO beloved concept of a “wake and cash”. More story time as Kristen questions whether one bride should proceed with festivities after a positive COVID test. Lastly, it’s a little late but the Quaranteam could NOT let Ex-Minnesota Viking Matt Birk’s anti-abortion/anti… women having careers (!?!?!?!?) slide.

Is there a problem with gold diggers? Why do men breakup before Valentine's Day and then make up after? Topics like these can only mean one thing; the Quaranteam has stumbled back into some Clubhouse rooms. Situationships, and whether they are a goal, have Lume a little confused and triggered. Is there a fundamental difference between when a man cheats versus when a woman does? Does being a "ride or die" benefit both parties in a toxic relationship? These very sticky conversations lead the crew to talk about the recent closure of a Minneapolis "hotspot" with a bit a problematic name. Are men scared to approach beautiful women? Another Luminator trigger warning. Couldn't go the whole episode without hitting the patriarchy; Why are broke women are more accepted than broke men? This episode closes out with dueling mini rants about the dating struggles of successful women, and the men who do and do not like “tradition”. QQH (44:39): The CEO's favorites takeover this week's Quick Hits as first up for discussion is the undying relationship of Tristan Thompson and Khloe Kardashian. Another baby on the way, and another video of him partying with women that aren't her. Meanwhile her sister went and got her All NBA boyfriend Devin Booker back, which will cost Lume some coin. Lamar Odom is apparently due to fight “fake drake”, and what is up with the celebrity boxing craze anyways? Lastly, as it continues to swoop up golfers from the PGA left and right, is the LIV tour really that bad?

Off to the races this week as the CEO brings the immediate flamethrower for one of her latest Hinge matches- a very smart man who left a blatant insult as a comment when he swiped right! We do love a good story time this time of year!Then, this week the Team gets into the nitty gritty of a recent night out at one of their favorite downtown haunts. When a friend asks you if somebody is attractive, how do you (should you) respond? Lume thinks the math ain’t mathin’ when it comes to Kristen’s baddie-alert senses. Meanwhile, Kristen is convinced that meeting men while out on the town is becoming a laughable expectation, but not for the reasons you might think. Then, is it difficult to show and/or be perceived as your true self in a bar/club setting? The most disputed 'shot of the week' in the history of the show occurs. The devil’s juice takes the wheel in this absolute classic episode you do not want to miss!QQH(41:53) A discussion about NY Jets QB Zach Wilson's recent breakup leads to Kristen breaking down some Utah TikTok mom drama. Runner up of the week is to whoever is running the Radio Shack verified twitter because they have been bringing all the jokes. Unfortunately(?) Elon Musk’s failed bid at buying Twitter is anything but funny. Finally a last second "Watcha Watching" on the show "The Chestnut Man" on Netflix.

They got their red solo cups, beer pongs, and more as the crew returns to campus to relive the college days! While life in HS (episode 70) was not all roses and ragers, college started out a lot more exciting for Lume. From technical difficulties in orientation to slow "caking" all the way up to Welcome Week; the birth of the resident simp was one for the books. Also, is striking up a relationship with your new roommate’s old flame a faux pas or no? Meanwhile, the CEO had only one main requirement when it came to breaking free of catholic school- It’s no shock to anyone Kristen loves a good ole fashioned “hoe phase”! After the most ideal new-roomie interview ever, the "Queens of the Penthouse" were born and the campus wasn't ready. Then a great debate: Who is less clean in college, men or women? Cast your votes and stay tuned or part 2…QQH: You were warned and it is time. This "Watcha Watching" is all about the epic Disney plus saga "Obi-Wan". Find out how Kristen somehow despises great portions of the show yet agrees with Lume on the overall rating…? Why are the last two episodes so much better than the first four? It’s an epic SPOILER filled review.

Not even an injury is stopping the crew from dropping another episode for the people! First the CEO breaks down how hitting two of their favorite Minneapolis hot spots caused a "misstep" aka ankle sprain. Adding insult to injury, the roster officially became smaller by one as somebody got cut! When you end up out at a place where someone you previously got with is there, what is the proper etiquette to make it known that you are trying to rekindle "the spark"? After coming back to the game, Lume's heater seems to be simmering down a bit. In his come back to Earth moment, a reminder (or PSA if you will) about what is the difference is between the podcast and real life. Open relationships, is the team here for them or not? The answers may surprise you...and of course Kristen can't help but take this topic in a direction that is a little wild.QQH(41:11): Kristen discusses the TikTok phenomena that is "Coop and Roof". Then Lume has some more for the enigma that is Brooklyn Nets star Kyrie Irving. The College World Series plays host to a competition that has the Quaranteam extremely impressed. Lastly, Airbnb is permanently eliminating an option that doesn't sound like what is best for business.

A quick week off, and the team is back to bring you a new installment of Kristen's favorite tried and true series… Riddle Me This! Apparently the CEO has been holding back the tea as this saga unfolded in real time, but finally the story of the random roommate (that somehow became two) can be released. As usual, the drama is both cringeworthy and hindsight-hilarious.First things first, are random roommates the vibe or no? What are the pros and cons of living with a couple when you are single? (spoiler, mostly cons). Is there any successful way to go about a roommate interview (and is it any different than the strategy on a first date)? And of course, the main event, what happened when the CEO was thrust into the role of arbitrator amid cheating allegations?!? Enough awkward moments for a lifetime, this just has to be heard!QQH: (40:39) First up, Kristen’s latest "Watcha Watching”; New HBO hit show/remake, "The Time Traveler's Wife". Then, an LSPN update as a celebration of the NBA playoffs conclusion leads to a #freefakeKlay rally cry. More important on the CEO’s mind, are the Currys really swingers? Some new (alleged) evidence suggests it might be true. Finally, no possible way to skip a discussion on Drake's newest album, "Honestly, Nevermind".

Everybody loves to say "I told you so” and this week Kristen is shouting it from the rooftops as Lume finally comes clean...MJ fax is in… he’s unretired! After months of giving up the game of dating (episode 53), a series of fortunate events has led to the only decision possible, send the fax and commence a summer heater! From the date that started defrosting his iced-over heart, to back to back weekends full of late night debauchery (S/O MPLS Ties), this story is definitely one for the books. Threesome offers, girl fights, and good ole fashioned crushes, we’ve got it all this week on the best pod ya heard today. Kristen even provides an epiphany on the conspiracy of Lume’s dating app woes. Cut us a check before we spill your bullshit, Tinder!QQH: First up, "Watcha Watching" as the CEO shocks everyone by gushing over the new summer blockbuster "Top Gun: Maverick". Then, they close out the show discussing the recent breakup of NFL All-Pro TE Travis Kelce and his gf over his (alleged) insistence on splitting alllllll the bills 50/50…. The Quaranteam’s opinion? In short, L. O. L.

We do love a good trilogy this time of year! The first ever Quarantings three-part extravaganza concludes as Kristen finally completes her tinder experiment. After hundreds of swipes, matches, and cringe chats, the CEO went on a date! Much to Lume's chagrin, it did not go… that well. After delivering the highlights (or lowlights) of the date, Kristen provides her final proclamation on whether or not single women should try and follow in her tinder jail footsteps. Plot twist, after the escape from Tinder and return to Hinge, an unexpected voice message leads to a hilarious but important PSA for all future suitors of the Queen of Quarantings.QQH (36:58): 'Watcha Watching' this week, Lume goes full nerd discussing Paramount Plus's "Halo" and all its glory. A different kind of review from the CEO this week as she breaks down some of the amazing art she witnessed while on vacation in Boston, including a breakdown of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. Then Prince Petty reports on the ridiculousness that is college football coaches whining over name, image and likeness (NIL). Finally a somber goodbye to another covid casualty in downtown Minneapolis.

Been awhile since the crew reviewed their favorite kind of dating show, one that is a complete sh!tshow! This season, its Netlfix's "Ultimatum", in which the Lachey's try to help 6 couples figure out if its time for marriage or time to move on (queue the eye rolls). From the first episode to the reunion, the Quaranteam breaks down all the chaos including Kristen's commitment to team Zay, and the enimiga that was Colby. Is there anything more awkward than proposing to your significant other minutes after another couple just did it? So much to unpack here so sit back and enjoy the best show analysis you'll hear today!QQH(43:41): A little switch up to the Quick Hits this week as they discuss the broader idea of bringing an ultimatum in your dating life. Are they good, bad, useful, psycho? Lume and Kristen have very different ideas on what one is and when it can be used, which leads to some real life stories, per usual.

It isn't just bad bitches that the Quaranteam likes! The crew returns to a classic topic and expands on the part 1 (episode 62) list. Are "Frat Bros" truly as despicable as Kristen claims, or are they misunderstood? "The Girl Next Door"... too simple? Or the heart and soul of perfection? The CEO appreciates all artists, but none more than a good 'ole fashioned "Soundcloud Rapper"- the biker skinny jeans, the "I'm on the phone and here's an inspirational caption" Instagram pics, and all. Ever heard of "Dr. Jeykll & Miss Hyde"? Do "Gamers" really have time for relationships? All of these, with an honorable mention to the ever popular "Kingpin", and more.QQH: First up some "Watcha Watching". Lume breaks down the Netflix show "Young, Famous, and African" (he will learn the real title one day). Kristen brings the new Hulu drama "Under the Banner of Heaven ". We all know the CEO loves a good church story... right?! Then, the fall of the very short lived CNN+ leads to a discussion on the land of streaming services. Any talk that involves Hollywood will spark the CEO, who wonders why the Polo Lounge is still gatekeeping. Finally, the episode ends with a breakdown of two "key" albums that just dropped for the summer: Jack Harlow and our toxic king, Future.