Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

Shawna Scafe, Professional Counsellor

When the clutter, motherhood, relationships, and life seem too overwhelming. When you have resentment and frustration every day – this is a sign you have been living on auto-pilot- letting life happen to you instead of living it ON PURPOSE. I’ve been there. Three kids under 4 and I decided to declutter my home and realized I was living my whole life on autopilot. I wanted more. I wanted to take action, be more present, have more fun! Enjoy my kids! I’m Shawna, You might know me as your Nerdy Girlfriend. I am a Certified Coach Practitioner, a Transformational Life Coach, and Registered Professional Counsellor-Candidate (RPC-C). I use the Enneagram, Faith and CBT as tools in my life coaching approach. I teach moms around the world the tools they need to set values and vision for the 9 areas of their lives so they can take the right steps towards living life ON PURPOSE. Find my books, course and blog at simpleonpurpose.ca read less

179. What are your needs and how are you meeting them?
07-03-2023
179. What are your needs and how are you meeting them?
What are needs? At a basic level, they are simple things like food, water, shelter, sleep. They can also be more complicated, like friendship, personal accomplishment, and sense of purpose. Sometimes it can be difficult to meet these needs, or to even know what they are. Join me today while I discuss needs and how to meet them in all aspects of your life.   In this episode I discuss:  What are your needs and how to figure that out  Understanding your relationship to 'your needs' and 'the needs of others'  Communal vs Individual cultures What we learn about needs from our culture, our family, and how gender bias impacts our view on meeting our needs Addressing needs in a relationship, expressing needs Meeting the needs of others, how do we show up for this   All the fun links you might enjoy  Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs (wikipedia) Podcast playlist Think the best of me: Hard and awesome Capable or controlling My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t love me Instagram  Simple Saturdays Email (sign up here) Email me here   Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Email me here  Follow me on Instagram     FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome, welcome back to the podcast. Or maybe Welcome back to me, because it seemed that I was on a hiatus from sharing new episodes. And what happened is I had an episode ready to go. And I didn't post it. The other week, I shared this in the simple Saturdays email that I had just decided the content wasn't right. And sometimes this happens, sometimes, I'll go through the whole process of drafting up an episode, maybe even recording it and just deciding it's not the right content, not the right time, too much too little, that kind of thing. So now I'm back in the recording chair, which just a normal chair. But what I found is that I had to really listen to myself and give myself permission to not post that and take the risk that there wouldn't be this consistent content, which is always what we're told, we need to be doing sharing consistent content. And the reality is that it took me a while to get back to because my days are pretty full. And I was also sick for a while. As I was trying to get a new episode done, I was observing the sense of overwhelming me. And I was taking stock of what I'm doing with my days, versus what I'm expecting myself to do with my days. And I'm realizing that I am taking on more and more clients, and spending so much more time in those one on one sessions and in research for the sessions. That is time that in the past, I would easily spend researching and recording podcast episodes, I had time to do draft episodes and episodes that just never made the cut. Because that's the amount of time I have for that. This is a season for me, where those one to one sessions are really taking priority. But I do want to try my best to still show up here with new ideas new discussion, mainly because of the feedback you guys give me the messages you send me the Instagram DMS, you send me sharing that this podcast is of high value to you. And I want to keep offering that in ways that are sustainable for me. So if you're ever feeling like you want to hear a new episode, and I haven't brought one out, I do encourage you to scroll through past episodes because there's like, well over 100 there. I'm going to put links in the show notes of all the playlists that I have made. They're on Spotify, they're also on my website. And you can look up by topic of interest what you want to hear more about. There's habit change, slow living, emotional intelligence, minimalism, parenting on purpose. So I encourage you, if you ever like oh, I just want to hear more, go and listen to those. Funny enough here I was saying, Okay, I'm gonna have some time this morning,
178. Don’t water the weeds (intentional parenting for proactive connection)
07-02-2023
178. Don’t water the weeds (intentional parenting for proactive connection)
Giving your child extra attention might seem like a great idea, but if it’s the wrong type of attention it could do more harm than good. Let’s learn what it means to parent intentionally and make proactive connections with your family.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Why we get stuck in the negative Our negativity bias as parents Your experience of motherhood The Nurtured Heart approach How to use this approach on 'difficult' kids   All the fun links you might enjoy:  Is momlife unfun? How to be a more fun mom, to stop withholding fun from yourself  More on the negativity bias When I stopped enjoying my kids Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Conscious parenting through the struggles, and letting go of perfectionism in motherhood Transforming the Difficult Child: the Nurtured Heart Approach  Article on Nurtured Heart Approach  Do you typecast your kids? (Labels and how they impact our parenting and our kids) Check out the episode playlists for your topic of interest right here   Simple pleasure links The wordle (also search wordle unlimited for more) The heardle (also search heardle unlimited) Spot the difference site (click explorer games for more variety and levels) Highlights hidden pictures book Spot the difference brain games book  Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:18 So friends around here, I like to talk about all the ways that we can turn off the autopilot living, just living reactively by default for me, it looked like a lot of complacency and step into doing things on purpose with intention, getting clear and focused on where we want to go and taking steps to get there. Today we're going to talk about intentional parenting, just parenting in general, but doing it with intention. And the topic of focus can come up in parenting, when we start thinking, what are we focusing on? What gets the most attention, what gets our most attention in a single day, what gets our attention as a parent. And I don't know if you're like me, but it can go to demands and the urgency who needs to be aware what needs to happen, what needs to be cooked, who's eating one of the eating, where the eating, and it's like, we're just directors of all of this. And of course, as our kids get older, we can start to give them ownership of this and they can start self directing. But our attention in a given day, it can really be given mostly to the problems at hand, stop shouting Sydney, clean up your mess, put that away. And I know that there are seasons of my own motherhood, where I don't even want to talk anymore, because I'm just sick of hearing myself talk. And then I start to think, man, my kids aren't really listening to me, I don't really want to listen to me either. 1:38 They don't have such a bad idea about this, after all. Anyways, this is a really common place that we can find ourselves in as parents, a season of no a season of constant correction, a season of constant discipline. And then instead of motherhood, feeling like this enjoyable experience, it feels like a perpetual power struggle. And there's this urgency and every day is just full of problems that we feel we cannot solve. So if you are here, welcome. Yeah, we are all here. Sometimes, some of us get stuck here. And we get stuck here for a few good reasons. Actually, we get stuck here, we start to live in this story. And this becomes the emotional habit we operate from. And I'll tell you why it kind of makes sense. We get stuck here because on one hand, the more we're thinking this the stories, the more we're feeling these emotions,
177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding)
24-01-2023
177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding)
Motivation. It is something we all want more of. However, every day we take little actions and make little choices that are coming from motivation. A motivation to avoid something or a motivation to move towards something. And why does it matter what is motivating us?     In this episode: Motivation vs lack of motivation How to know when you are operating from AWAY motviation Spotting the victim mindset or scarcity mindset How to know when you are operating from TOWARDS motivation Motivation and abundance mindset         Mentioned in this episode: The group coaching call, Feb 2 2023 The Making Change Challenge, sign up here for the four lessons and worksheets Send me a message on Instagram Share your thoughts with the Facebook group  The Enneagram and Motherhood series Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) The not-enough mindset (scarcity and abundance)     Full Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, welcome back is Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counsellor from simple on purpose.ca. So you might have figured out that this podcast is a biweekly podcast. But last week, I dropped a bonus episode about not knowing what you want in life. And I talked about six reasons why dreaming or thinking of your life on purpose might actually be hard. I wanted to share that episode early so that you could have time to sign up for the group coaching call on February 2, if that's something you're interested in, I'll link info on that in the show notes. And essentially, that call is a time where you can bring the work you want to do with intentional living this year. And I'll answer any of your questions and also bring people on live for coaching. In the past, I've run group programs, I used to run the life on purpose Academy, back in 2020, and then ran a couple group programs in 2021, I took a little bit of a break. And now I'm thinking of unique and different ways to bring that group coaching aspect back into things. Because in my own experience of being part of group programs is just listening to other people just hearing their questions answered, you get so much value, even though it might not be the exact same issue. Just the themes are relevant, and the approaches can be applied in so many different ways. So I find a lot of value in those. Also, I just really love hanging out with you guys. I love that community aspect. I'm always looking for ways to encourage community amongst you, listeners and blog readers. So I'll link that in the show notes. If you're interested. I wanted to follow that up with one more episode of ideas and approaches to help you be really mindful about the future that you're creating. So I wanted to share on the topic of motivation, because motivation is kind of like how do you feel with that word? How does your body feel? Motivation is something we're always trying to get. Because we know how we act when we feel motivated. When we feel motivated, we get things done. So our approach to getting things done is to find motivation, manufacture motivation, harness motivation. But as the wonderful Mel Robbins has taught us, you won't always feel like it. And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it, because you won't always feel like it. So I'm going to share today a portion of some training that I've done on two types of motivation that is towards motivation and away motivation. And this is from the making change challenge that I released this time three years ago. And it is a series of four audio lessons and worksheets that I walk you through. It's a free challenge. So I'll link that in the show notes if that's something you're interested in signing up for and using. So we're gonna listen to this brief training on motivation. And I really want you to pay attention as you're listening to understanding what is motivating you right now.
176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer
17-01-2023
176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer
I want to talk to you about listening more deeply to yourself and asking, "what do I want?". For some of us, we are out of touch with our dreams or our life vision. We might feel overwhelmed, or like it is impractical, or like we have failed too much in the past. This episode is to help you see some of the ways you might be stuck with listening to your own dreams and ideas, and some tips on moving through that.    “A ship is safe in the harbour but that is not what ships are for” - source unknown, probably John A Shedd  "You have to show up before inspiration will." - James Clear   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Listening to yourself on a deep level and on a surface level Six reasons why it might be hard to know your dreams and goals Giving yourself permission to have dreams and ideas and goals Being a mom who struggles to dream and feels selfish to have goals Learning to inspire yourself   All the fun links you might enjoy  Six signs you are living on autopilot Are you too comfortable? And what is it costing you? Are you trading in peace for relief? The joy of being mediocre Redefine the life you want and what success looks like Hurdles to being a mom who has dreams and hobbies What you can learn from imposter syndrome For the mom waiting for life to happen  Dreaming for the non-dreamer, from A Little Light  Join me on Instagram    Sign up for the Feb 2nd Group Coaching Call - open to anyone who has questions or would like coaching on this topic and the topic of creating your future Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca If you are joining us for the new year, if you just started searching like intentional living or living life on purpose or goals or something, and you found this podcast, welcome, I'm so glad you're here. Just to give you the quick and fast context, I am a mom of three kids who are now 1110, and eight. And around here we talk about ways to simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that so that you can show up for your life and live your life on purpose, live it intentionally live it with peace and purpose and presence and enjoy it. This episode is a follow up to the last one on creating your future and how we actually have the power to create our future when we turn off the autopilot. And some of the main points to notice in that episode were that we're really conditioned on how we show up in the world. And we really live from that condition. So everything we learned from our upbringing, from our past informs what we believe is possible, what is acceptable, what is safe, what to pursue. And so essentially, really, our past everything we learned in our past how we've shown up in our past, it dictates how we show up for our future, our past dictates our future, when we're living on autopilot that is, but we have this part of our brain, when we are in a calm state we can access it is that part that allows us to think logically long term, big picture ideas. It's that part that says, Wait a minute, if I have ketchup, chips, and whiskey each night, where will that get me in five years? Is that where I want to be? Or sit? Is that part of our brain that says, I usually go through the day in a fog? I don't feel like I'm present with my kids. Is that what I want? And then what do I want? How do I want to show up as a mom, that's kind of the part of our brain that we get to tap into when we shut off the autopilot, we shut off the stress, the anxiety, and we just be still for a minute, I do have an episode from the past called Signs, you might be on autopilot, living on autopilot.
175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?
10-01-2023
175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?
With 2023 finally here, it is time to start looking forward to the future and improve our health, relationships, and life. But sometimes it might be a good idea to look inwards as well and see if we intend to succeed in those goals passively, or actively. Kickstart the year by turning off the autopilot and living life intentionally.   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Taking charge of your own future  Advice to live life intentionally How our past affects our future, and how to use that in the present The compound effect of our habits  Three things you can do to help shape your future   All the fun links you might enjoy  Throw Throw Burrito (on Amazon) Change your experience by how you make memories in motherhood (episode link) Think the best of me, or not (embracing our hard and awesome) Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (mom martyr post) Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped (blog post) I’ve been living on autopilot (a post from 2015 on working through the frustration of waking up to a complacent life) For the mom who is waiting for life to happen (how waiting keeps us from taking action) Six things nobody told me about Intentional Living (when it is hard work to be intentional, but it is worth it) What will change cost you? Paying the status quo or investing in change (episode link) What we say about ourselves, and why it matters (self-limiting identity) Small things that can change your whole life (how I applied the compound effect to my life) Life on Purpose Workbook Live your vision worksheets Live your values worksheets  Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:11 Hello friends, happy 2023 Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor, here to walk with you through all things about simplifying your home, your heart, your life, and living it on purpose. For us here in Canada, in my house, we celebrated Christmas over the holiday. My husband had time off, I had time off, like for real time off. And in the like, 11 years of motherhood. This was one of the few Christmases where I felt like I had a truly great time. So weird. I mean, of course, plans got cancelled. I got sick kids complained siblings thought the house was a mess. There was tears, there was feelings, mine included. But I don't know, maybe it's because I was really trying to have eyes for those really great moments. And you know, maybe because we also spent so much time with friends. I think that was really important. We spent a lot of time with our friends and our kids friends. We played games as a family mostly throw throw burrito, have you played that it's a card game. But then you like stopped to take these dodgeball battles. And I have a friend who said they eventually gave that game away because it was traumatic for her household. And I get it because just last night, I had a tantrum. I think all of us have rotated, taking turns having tantrums playing Throw, throw burrito. But it is so fun. I'll link that in the show notes. So for me, as a mom, this Christmas had a lot of just simple, great memories, time that we spent together time we spent with friends. And this is a Christmas I'm going to definitely write about in my memory book. So I have a memory book I keep where I write down the really great things that I want to kind of make up my experience of motherhood. I'll link an episode I've done on that in the past two years, about making memories and motherhood if you want to check that out. So we're coming into the new year, maybe you celebrated Christmas maybe celebrated something else, maybe you didn't don't celebrate anything over the winter break.
174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood
21-12-2022
174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood
With all the planning, gift wrapping, baking, and decorating, this time of year can get crazy, and life seems to just stop until the 25th is well behind us. Today I wanted to talk about the concept of Hygge and how to make Christmas feel a little simpler, a little more manageable, and a little more enjoyable. And put this all against the backdrop of the stress response we can find ourselves in as mothers. Understanding the concept of the Window of Tolerance can give you more awareness over times when you feel little capacity for daily life and seem to run on overwhelm and stress.    In this episode I discuss:  The three components of Hygge Holiday activities and how to get the family involved Decluttering Christmas Our Window of Tolerance    All the fun links you might enjoy  All posts and episodes about Simple Christmas Posts and episodes on hygge 30 days of hygge free calendar Enneagram + Motherhood series Enneagram 101 post and episode  CBC Gem  Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Episode playlist on emotional intelligence for moms  An intro to polyvagal theory (window of tolerance) Infographic on the window of tolerance Reactive vs proactive approach to the day Simple Christmas Planner Simple Saturdays email   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)       FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited)   0:15 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that you can remove all the distractions, all of the clutter, all of the excess, and just show up for the stuff that really matters the most to you the stuff that is really important to you. So as I was preparing for the podcast this week, I was drafting up a podcast on goals and visions and creating a future you love. And then I was like, if I heard this right now in the middle of Christmas, I don't think I would even be listening to it. Because like kind of just stops around Christmas, right? Which I don't mind. I really love the idea of hibernating a little. I think it really honors this season that we're in we when we can step back from that pace of summer and spring and kind of pay attention to what nature is doing and model it a little bit flow with it and let ourselves hibernate a little bit more. So there's my soapbox moment, let's all hibernate a little bit more this winter. Which brings me to the notion of Hygge I'm probably going to use the word 'hoo-ga' nd 'hyg' interchangeably, but it is pronounced hygge. You guys are asking me about it right now you want me to talk about this. So here we go. In December, I often talk about simplifying your Christmas. But all of that content is out there. I am going to link to the simple Christmas series in the show notes, where I talk about simplifying gift giving traditions, giving kids toys without feeling overrun with clutter, how to make your gifts more thoughtful, all those basics, they're covered. So I thought I would just expand into a different direction on things that help you feel like your Christmas is simpler and cozier and maybe more manageable, more enjoyable. So the first thing we'll talk about is hygge, which is a Danish word that doesn't have any direct English translation and it just embodies this atmosphere of simplicity, of being cozy of being with others togetherness and of contentment. I think we've all seen especially on Pinterest, the stock images of a woman she's like draped on her white couch or her white bed. She's got a long white knit sweater on cozy Christmas socks. I don't know, do her legs get cold, I don't know. Mind read. She's holding a mug of tea and there's a fluffy blanket like draped around her. And that's what they tell us who got is we might not think of a mum in her like old decade old house code and slippers, drinking her magnesium water at the end of the nigh...
173. What you can learn from imposter syndrome (inquiring into the doubt and fears with these journalling questions)
06-12-2022
173. What you can learn from imposter syndrome (inquiring into the doubt and fears with these journalling questions)
Everyone has doubts and fears, but sometimes these doubts can manifest into something stronger and more potent, Imposter Syndrome. Today I go through a list of questions to help you inquire about the Imposter Syndrome within you, and how to act on what you find.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Questions on how to inquire into the Imposter Syndrome within. Use these questions for self-inquiry, journalling is a great option.  How does imposter syndrome impact me?  When I doubt, what changes? How do I act?  When I have fear, what changes? How do I act from this place of fear? Where in my life does imposter syndrome show up? How long have I felt imposter syndrome? Is it long-standing? What seems to bring it on? How do I try to manage the part of me that feels imposter syndrome? How do I respond to that part of me? How does the ‘part of me that doubts’ think it is helping me? Protecting me? What does that ‘part of me that doubts’ need to feel safe When confidence is not available to me, what other feelings can help me with the doubt? How does the ‘part of me that is afraid of being found out’ think it is helping me? Who specifically am I afraid of ‘finding me out?’   All the fun links you might enjoy  Byron Katie, recommend her books, specifically Loving What Is Episode 162. Think the best of me (Hard and Awesome) Hayley Morris, comedian (one of my fave bits that she does) Episode 76. Why it matters what you think Simple Christmas Planner (find it with the On Purpose Workbooks)   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna here at girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca.  So I am a mom of three I live in a small town in Canada, I have three kids, they are 11,10, and eight. And about eight years ago, seven or eight years ago, I was reading a book about decluttering. It's called The Joy of less by Francine J. And it was around Christmas time, and I was reading this book, and it suddenly hit me that I didn't need to keep all of the stuff I had in my house. So I went down to the basement, the basement of shame, there was like a walkway amongst some boxes that I could get from one door to another. And I started decluttering. And I was really hit with this awareness that I had been living my life, very complacently on autopilot. And going through that physical clutter of complacency. It really brought me to a place where I didn't want that in my life. I didn't want that in all areas of my life, I could just see suddenly, all of the ways I had been complacent in my life, living on autopilot. And that really prompted me to say, No, I'm going to put myself in the driver's seat, I'm going to take some action, I'm going to be intentional. And that was really what founded simple on purpose. It started with simplifying and it moved into living intentionally living on purpose. So around here, we keep this conversation going. Of course, I've gone through life coach training, I've gone through counselor training. And so I am bringing in all of these different aspects of the approaches that I've taken the conversations I've had over the years with women, with moms with clients. And I want to just this be a place where you can stop for a minute. And really start to think about ways you can simplify your home, your heart, your life in ways that you want to start showing up on purpose, living with more purpose, with more peace with more presence and more passion. I really believe we can all have a little bit more passion and enjoy our lives a little bit more. That's a whole other episode though. Let's talk about today's episode. So in the summer, I asked for episode topic requests, and I'm still working through those.
172. Tips for having more than one kid (mom of three asking for advice)
24-11-2022
172. Tips for having more than one kid (mom of three asking for advice)
As much as we might want it to exist, there just isn’t a magical list or routine we can implement to make it an easy transition to have a second or third kid. And once they are here, it can quickly become overwhelming and seem impossible. Today I share some tips and advice to help make parenting more than one kid a little easier    In this episode I discuss:  Prepping your first-born for a new introduction in the family Some of my own tips and ideas, as a mother of three Managing sibling dynamics and conflict Lessons from the Playroom: Sibling Rivalry My commentary on some crowd-sourced advice   All the fun links you might enjoy  Emotional Intelligence (and improving relationships with your kids through emotion coaching) What moms of toddlers need to hear How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers Real-life advice on having two kids under two years old (blog post) Planning the day (reactive vs proactive) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood When motherhood can change you but you can’t change motherhood Settling in motherhood Is a third baby harder than the second? Enneagram + Motherhood Series 11 things that make my mom life simpler More posts on motherhood   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome to another episode of The Simple on Purpose podcast. 0:18 If you are following me on Instagram, you know that this past week I went away for a work retreat. Do you remember back in the day, if you've been around for a while I used to go on work retreats quite often, I used to also go on work retreats with a community that I had started with one of my besties called a little late. And we used to do them with a great group of women, we'd rent an Airbnb, we'd get food brought in. And we would just all hunker down and do work and kind of brainstorm together. Some of my favorite memories are those work retreats. And then in this, since then I've gone on my own, I've gone with a bestie. And I haven't done it for a few years. So I thought, I have this big deadline coming up to move my email service. So I'm just going to send myself away for a couple of nights, you might have read about it in the sublime purpose, or the simple Saturday's email. 1:04 So I went away to work on my email, my email service, and then sent out that week's simple Saturday's and the email was broken, the email program is not working. So I'm still working with tech support to get that back up and running. And either way, I spent a lot of my time prepping for this, you know, this email to be moved over. 1:26 So whew, all right, the work retreat was still a really valuable experience. Because I could just be selfish with my time, which I think it's a bad thing. I think we need to do that sometimes, if I'm working from home, which I always do, and the kids come home from school, and even though I say I'm gonna keep working till like maybe four or five, they're coming in, they're asking questions, I can hear everybody out there in the hall, talking about things and I'm like, oh, I should go like, tell them this or tell them that. And it's just it doesn't work, right. And then I don't feel like I can ever come back into work once I've gone out and you know, been with the fam. But when I'm alone in this hotel room, and I go from my computer, to the bathtub, back to my computer, again, to a snack platter of cheese and crackers, back to my computer. It's just a time where I don't have to be accountable to anyone but me. And I can just be all in on whatever I need to get done. So it was a really like, I didn't just hang out and watch Netflix the whole time. I was getting my work done. And then watching some Netflix for fun. I'm all caught up on love is blind if anyone wants to tal...
171. Making home a place where your kids want to hangout (with you, and their friends)
01-11-2022
171. Making home a place where your kids want to hangout (with you, and their friends)
Whether your vision is to be the hangout spot on the block, or a place your kids still come to visit after moving out, small changes can be made to create a cozy, comfortable, and welcoming home for the quickly growing and ever-changing family.   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Having a vision for the kind of home you want to have Creating a peaceful house is not just simplifying and decluttering  Ep 69. Will a Simpler Home Bring Me Peace? Creating spaces in your home to foster certain activities and atmospheres for your family and friends  What makes kids think that a house is a good place to hang out at  Getting your kids to still hang out with you as they grow up and creating spaces that foster that connection Hygge and how to add this to your home  Three ways to bring hygge into your daily life 30 ways to hygge when it is cold outside Hygge vs minimalism    All the fun links you might enjoy  The Simple Christmas Planner Simple pleasures: Puzzles (side-by-side activities) Mom on Purpose Be the mom you are: how this one list can empower you to be the mom you are Ep 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are Setting your Values and Vision The Life on Purpose Workbook The Live your Vision worksheets The Live your Values worksheets  The Perfect Moments Project Emotional Intelligence, for Moms (the podcast playlist) Ep 162. Hard and Awesome FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hey friends, welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about all the ways all the ideas, all the mindsets and approaches that you can take to simplify your life, your home and your heart, kind of the inner experience as well, and show up for your life on purpose. So I am Shawna, if you are new here, and I am a mom of three kids, my kids are 11,10 and eight. And over the years, you guys have termed me to be your nerdy girlfriend. That's a nickname given to me in the simple Saturdays, email. So I proudly wear that name as a badge of honor. I am your nerdy girlfriend, your counselor and your life coach. And hey, I'm in small town, Canada. So here we are preparing for the winter, as fall is going to be wrapping up soon. And winter, hey, I did some Christmas shopping on my lunch break today, ordered some things and I want to make sure they get here in time. So I'm gonna put that out there. It's kind of like those reminders, go pull me out of the freezer for dinner, go order some things that you need for Christmas. And if you want to really get intentional about your Christmas this year, I have something called the simple and Christmas planner. I'll link that in the show notes if you're interested in that. So today I'm going to be sharing another question that was sent in through the simple Saturday's email. Let me toggle over to the right window to read it to you. All right, I would love to hear another episode on making small changes in our home to make it more of a haven for the quickly growing and ever changing kids, and how to keep it a safe and cozy place that they want to be in. Oh, I just love that idea. All right. So before I get into this, sometimes I get a stuckness with getting the podcast recorded. And I know there's a lot of different factors that go into that. But sometimes that stuckness is about me, really second guessing what I'm sharing. So something that just helps me to say upfront is all of this is just my, my opinion. These are my ideas. I don't believe that motherhood is prescriptive that life, how it should look for you should look the copy of someone else. Like I believe that you need to tap into your own values, your own strengths, your own passions, your own quirks, and live into motherhood from that place be a mum on purpose.
170. Planning the Day (reactive vs proactive, tools and approaches I use)
18-10-2022
170. Planning the Day (reactive vs proactive, tools and approaches I use)
Planning the day can be an overwhelming chore that you are constantly behind in. Sticking to that plan can be frustrating and seem impossible. I want to share a few ways that I keep myself on track and having a proactive day, rather than a reactive day.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  The crafty form of planning, bullet journaling  How to get started bullet journalling  The three planners that I found worked the best  Moleskin Weekly Planner Passion Planner Ban.Do Planner  The crown jewel of planning apps, Google Calendar, and how I use it to plan effectively  How to organize and use your To-Do list to check things off How I prioritize my To-Do list, shiting from a should-do to a could-do mindset  Planning a proactive day rather than having a reactive day, especially with chores Cognitive distortions and how to get out of that All-or-nothing thinking  Meal prepping    All the fun links you might enjoy    How to get started bullet journalling  Planning the day for moms The freedom you can gain from planning your day Procrastination tips for moms Does your to-do list overwhelm you? Do you trust yourself to show up for you?  How to move from ambivalent to ambitious    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hello friends welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. My name is Shawna, you guys know me as your nerdy girlfriend and life coach and counselor. And if you are new here, if you found the podcast over the summer, welcome, I'm so glad you are here. At simple on purpose, we talk about ways to simplify, simplify your home, your heart, your life, and do things on purpose, do life on purpose, turn off the autopilot, turn off the default mode, that we're just living in life reactively to life and letting things happen, like letting life happen at us and moving into an intentional space, being really proactive with who we are, how we want to show up our lives and what we want to get out of our life. So that's the premise of what we talk about here. I'm really glad you're here. I let you know earlier that I had taken the summer off, I was finishing up my schooling to become a registered professional counselor. And now I'm on the other side of that I've gone through certification, I am working on my supervision hours with my supervisor. And I just really had no idea what I would come back to in terms of what simple on purpose was going to look like. I think I still don't know, people are asking me am I going to open up and like on purpose Academy again, am I going to keep the podcast going like all these plans, and I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. But I am really enjoying the connection that I have with you guys over podcast, I love getting messages from you on Instagram over email letting me know that it's something that's part of your life part of your day. And it's something that's helping you, which is really my whole goal, right. And my whole goal is to empower moms to empower women to empower you guys to live simple on purpose. So I don't know what the future holds. I'm really open to it to where my life will take me and where these career plans take me. But let's keep digging into the podcast, I asked for suggestions on podcast topics I've asked in the simple on purpose, email, what you guys would like to hear about. And so today I'm going to talk about one of those suggested topics. And by the way, if you guys are not on the simple Saturdays email, that's an email that comes out twice a month. So it's not overwhelming. And I try to make that a place that's just fun and connected. And I share pictures, I share pictures of what I'm decluttering I share links to things I'm loving,
169. Moms Simplifying Q+A: Toddler MomLife, Procrastination and Decluttering
28-06-2022
169. Moms Simplifying Q+A: Toddler MomLife, Procrastination and Decluttering
Answering decluttering, simplifying and momlife questions that were sent in through the Simple on Purpose community group. Covering topics including organization, procrastination, decluttering kids' clothes, showing up well for momlife.  Make sure to check out the show notes for more related links on these questions     Questions that were sent in: I'm reworking a room in our house soon to be an office/media room and trying to figure out a system for office supplies, books, devices, charging cables etc. It wants to turn into a catch-all space... If you have any thoughts on that? Thanks! What Pinterest Doesn’t Tell You About Home Organization 5 common mistakes moms make when organizing their homes, and what to do about it (+ cheatsheet of 5 more) 157. How I tackled decluttering my office and kids craft drawers + how I handle the resistance to decluttering The old basement home office Adding a desk to my (upstairs) home office Tips for vehicle/trunk organization Considering a bin/bag system Simplifying kid's shoes A question to start with to know what next steps you need Seasonal declutter: Keeping track of what is in storage Do you have any on simplifying kids' clothes? (big, wearing, grew out of) Decluttering with Kids Guide I’m moving in the next few months and have been working on all the decluttering and packing etc. I have 2 kids under 5. What I notice is that I have a hard time getting started on the jobs involved until the last minute when there is a big push and looming deadline. I’d love to work on a more peaceful and gradual approach to get it all done  How I found myself procrastinating this morning Questions to ask yourself when doing self-inquiry into your own procrastination 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) 154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 135. Procrastination tips for moms 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) More on mom life - especially toddler mom life, being purposeful and present, enjoying it. The frustration of attaining freedom and independence, for parents and toddlers   Good enough mother (parent)  If I could go back and talk to myself about 7 years ago when I had two toddlers and a baby: Happiness is still available to me  Allowing every day to be hard and awesome 87. Why it is hard to be a present parent, and what to do about it 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions What Moms of Toddlers Need to Hear 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) Summer wrap-up! Thank you for all the reviews and messages and emails you have sent, I am here for the COMMUNITY! Please do keep in touch! Expect an Instagram hiatus this summer, but please do make sure to USE the Facebook group  - and declutter it if you aren't going to use it.  Make sure you are on the Simple Saturdays email to get the bi-weekly newsletter to keep getting Simple on Purpose inspiration through the summer.  Save your favourite Simple on Purpose podcast playlist on Spotify to listen to this summer   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Yes, I'm taking a summer break kind of at least a break from the podcast, which I'm sad about, I really enjoy the podcast. It's a place for me to just bring up what are the what other topics are on my brain are being discussed.
168. Teaching our kids contentment, on purpose
10-06-2022
168. Teaching our kids contentment, on purpose
How do we teach our kids contentment? I want to unpack this question from all angles. From why it is hard for us as parents, how we teach them reactively vs on purpose, where the emotion of contentment comes from, the purpose of discontentment and growing our tolerance of discontentment.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  Topics covered in this episode: The difference between being happy vs being content Happiness as a parenting goal can be very defeating and maybe even counterproductive Should happy kids be our parenting goal Recognizing that we live in a culture that is obsessed with happiness The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris  66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife Teaching our kids contentment, how we do it reactively and without intention Pretending you're happy Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Guilt and deprivation The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Consider how we learn contentment in our own lives  How to really start showing up for your life How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life) Hard and awesome (from Think The Best of Me) 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) How to get that feeling (why values matter + free LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheet) How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Comparing where your kids are to where other kids are. The pitfalls of using what you see, socially, to determine where you and your kids *should be* Understanding your own motivation on why you want your kids to be content How we measure success as parents The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) God’s Grace Through Difficult Parenting 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood What is hard about seeing your kids feel discontent 119. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids (and ourselves) The CBT framework: our emotions come from our thinking  76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) What We Say About Ourselves (and why it matters) I Think, I Am! By Louise Hay Big Life Podcast (growth mindset for kids) Making Change: Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? (growth mindset for adults) Our natural discontentment Enjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it) The purpose of the emotion 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions 123. Myths about emotion coaching our kids [LIVE]  Seeing the good, intentionally Contentment and knowing our values Happiness that is marketed to us, versus what we crave for contentment Addressing how our kids use comparison and how we can teach them about comparison in the context of contentment   Teaching our kids to look internally rather than externally Showing, rather than telling, our kids about the different life experiences in the world The role we have as parents to model contentment and honour the times our kids feel discontent  Room to make mistakes while we learn    Stop by the Facebook group to share your thoughts and ideas or tag or message me on Instagram   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simpler purpose.ca. Welcome to Simple on Purpose podcast. So today I am doing one of the last posts until I wrap up the podcast for the summer. I'm going to spend my summer just balancing the two jobs that I have on the go. Finishing up school,
167. Conscious parenting through the struggles, and letting go of perfectionism in motherhood
27-05-2022
167. Conscious parenting through the struggles, and letting go of perfectionism in motherhood
Being a mom on purpose means stepping into your strengths as well as stepping into your struggles.  This means letting go of perfectionism and the chase to be the ideal mom and have the ideal kids.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  This episode covers: What is conscious parenting Parenting on auto-pilot, why we do it and how it is different from mindful parenting When our kids are difficult we try to 'out-difficult' them, and what we can do instead How conscious parenting challenges our western parenting culture and how many of us were raised Quote from Dr. Sheflai Unless we address why we can’t embrace our children for precisely who they are, we will forever either seek to mold, control, and dominate them—or we will allow ourselves to be dominated by them.Tsabary, Dr. Shefali. The Conscious Parent (p. 54). Namaste Publishing Inc.. Kindle Edition. How our kid's struggles bring us face to face with our own struggles When our kids aren't easy, they are challenging the things we have conditioned ourselves to be uncomfortable with Letting go of the notion that we are meant to be perfect parents The messy relationships and the struggle matter as much as the peace we crave Hard doesn't mean you are doing it wrong, it often simply means you are doing it   Related links and episodes mentioned 53. Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali The key elements of Conscious Parenting Never Say No by Jan and Mark Foreman Three Books That Changed My Mothering Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Join me on Instagram      Full transcript (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends welcome to simple purpose. I'm here to girlfriend Shawna. And this is a follow up episode to episode 166. So I encourage you to stop by and listen to that one versus 13 minutes pretty quick. In that one, we talked about understanding that you can be a mom on purpose because you were made on purpose. It's not a checklist you have to make. It's something that's already inside of you everything you bring into motherhood, your strengths, your struggles, they all matter. They all help your family and you learn and grow together. And I think we can hyper focus on giving our kids this idyllic childhood, I think we can get caught up in all of the Pinterest requirements on how childhood has to look. But the motherhood experience matters just as much it matters. Motherhood matters as much to us as childhood matters to our kids. So our experience matters. This is important. If you want to dig in a little bit into that, check out episode 53 Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories. I'll link that in the show notes. So as we talk about being a mom on purpose, having confidence in the mom you are made to be. I want to also match that with the topic of conscious parenting because this is another layer that I brought into my own parenting over my parenting journey. And I'm aware, I'm a newbie in terms of my parenting career. But this is what I've learned along the way. And this is what I want to share. So conscious parenting Dr. Shefali, literally wrote the book on it. And I'll link that book in the show notes. I've read it, I have lots of highlights in it. It's really, really great. conscious parenting in general is a philosophy that says, our kids are reflecting things to us that we need to be conscious of that we need to be aware of. Because we spend our days living and parenting on autopilot from that subconscious, automatic programming that's running the show. Because how often are you really mindful? How often are you thinking about every decision, every thought, every reaction, every emotion that you're having? How often are you consciously in that rarely, right?
166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood
27-05-2022
166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood
Motherhood is a journey and there are stepping stones along the way of things we learn. I want to share a few of my stepping stones with you. They are around parenting from our own strengths, rather than focussing on what we are doing wrong. I want to share a few ways you can find confidence within yourself rather than from comparison and external validation.      In this episode I talk about: the Perfect Mom Checklist Making your own list for motherhood Where to start when you want to do motherhood, on purpose Parenting from checklists and comparison and how can create pride or shame Where we try to find shortcuts to confidence Where we can truly find confidence Finding connection and fun in motherhood   Related links and episodes mentioned: 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. How this one list can empower you to be the mom you are The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun The Mom, on Purpose podcast playlist     Full transcript (unedited) 0:00  This is a place where we just stop for a minute we slow down and we talk about the ways that we can simplify our lives, remove the distractions, remove the clutter, and start living on purpose with intention shutting off that autopilot. Today I want to talk about doing this in motherhood being a mom on purpose, something that's helped me is to think about motherhood as a journey. So I have three kids, they are 11. One's going to be 10 Soon, and one's going to be eight soon. And so I like to think about the journey I've been on over the past 11 years. For me, it really has been a journey where I started off clueless, I mean, my son, my firstborn son, was the first newborn I ever held. I also started off worried, which was my nature, but that I think that's something you bring into motherhood, you're worried about everything you don't know up against everything you're dealing with. And along the way, you learn. You listen, you try, you adjust, you wait, you learn, you learn what the different color poops mean, you learn how to set schedules and rules. You learn how to find peace, when everything is making you anxious. And you learn how to sit through the hard parts. Rather, rather than just scrambling to fix everything all the time you learn your way you learn the journey. And it really is a journey nobody can take for you. I think we're all looking to other people for the solution for the path. And I think there's a lot of mentorship available, we can support one another. But it really is your own personal journey. If I look back on things that I had wrote, during my earliest years of motherhood, and on the journals that I kept, at that time, I can see the path that I was on, I can see the things that I was learning, I can see little insights, little nuggets, little, not even little, but sometimes they were huge things that I learned that got me from here to there. And then again, from here to there again, and from here to there, again, just like stepping from one step to the next. So today, I want to share one of those things that felt very impactful at moving me along this journey. This is something that has brought me so much peace and empowerment in motherhood. And I want to share it because I think we don't hear it enough. And I think we're looking for it. What we're looking for is confidence in motherhood and confidence in being the mom we are in parenting from the strength of who we are meant to be, rather than focusing on what we're doing wrong. This was a message I heard early on in motherhood, and it was really impactful for me. And so as I coach other moms, and they share this message with them, and I hear them take it in and start to think maybe that could be ...
165. Spring cleaning urgency + organization tips and inventory strategies that save you money and reduce clutter
12-05-2022
165. Spring cleaning urgency + organization tips and inventory strategies that save you money and reduce clutter
Spring cleaning had me feeling a mental urgency at ALL THE THINGS I needed to get cleaned in my home. I am sharing how I am approaching that overwhelm. Also sharing how organization and inventory of your stuff can save you money and reduce clutter (starting with the freezer!)     Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  The main points covered in this episode My cleaning goals for last weekend and how I was derailed by spring cleaning mental drama My spring cleaning list and closet jenga Operating from a sense of urgency and how it can lead to shame/resent Paying attention to our thoughts and which thoughts we will 'hop on and run off with' Cleaning out the freezer The hidden costs of stockpiling and having all of the options on hand, scarcity  minset  How to do a food inventory (and save money on groceries!) Organizing things in a way that makes them accessible and visible  Doing an inventory of things to prevent you from doubling up by buying more because you don't realize you have it at home   All the fun links you might like 61. How we introduced chores to our kids (Saturday Morning Chores) 60. Doing Chores You Want to Avoid (how I life coached myself to do the dishes) @GOCLEANCO on Instagram A quick video about thought trains by Russ Harris  154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) A post I shared on IG, four years go, about using the notes app to do storage inventory Bitters, I like this peach one by Dillons, the next one I want to try is the Alcohol-Free digestive bitters by Flora   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Welcome to the simple purpose podcast. Around here, we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heaart your life. So you can show up right now in whatever season you're in and show up for it on purpose with intention about what you want, and how you want to act and what you want more of and what you want less of. Today, I want to talk about some recent decluttering and cleaning that I was doing the other weekend. And some realizations I came to while I was doing it. And I share this stuff not because I think it's something you've never heard, or maybe don't even know because often, I think I share things that we do know deep down inside, but I share it because it's a good reminder, it was a good reminder to me and so I want to share it with here here with you. And maybe you will find something from it. So Spring is here, spring is here in Canada. And I don't know about you, but I've noticed as my kids are getting older, and we're like in this family home, that wshen spring comes along, I kind of lose my blinders. I've got blinders on either side of my head, of all of the areas of my home that have built up with grime and clutter over the winter months. And I started also thinking that maybe spring cleaning was invented by Canadian parents who had paid very little attention to their homes for the hockey season. And now they're just faced with realities of unmapped floors and chaotic mushrooms. So Saturday is our joy morning here. It's a routine that we have so that rooms are just getting picked up for the most part on a regular basis. I'm going to link an episode where I talk about Saturday morning chores, how we started our kids doing it and also an episode about me, life coaching myself to doing the dishes. It's a very underrated episode. So I think it's worth sharing. So I was rolling into the Saturday and I felt this freedom that you have when you don't have any plans, no hockey, no plans, I put on my sneakers, I put on a good playlist and I was ready to get some cleaning done. The other weekend I intended to break up them up and also help at least one kid dredge under ...
164. How I am finding balance in my life this year
29-04-2022
164. How I am finding balance in my life this year
I was asked to cover this topic in the recent feedback survey. I think it is a great question to ask, and it is one I've ruthlessly searched to the ends of Pinterest to answer, 'how to find balance in motherhood'  In this episode, I will share about the extra demands in my life right now and the ways I am finding balance in a very busy season of life of motherhood, school and work.      Topics covered in this episode: What we think 'balance' means culturally for women and moms What I have decided to make it mean for myself  The power of prioritizing and all the reasons it is hard to prioritize What I am saying yes to this year What I am saying no to this year How I plan out my weeks  How I protect my priorities and the reality that it doesn't always look or feel lovely Adjusting things as I go versus having an all or nothing mindset Owning it and not feeling like a victim of my life Links you might like: Simplify your life series What I Learned While Searching for Balance in Motherhood The Eisenhower Matrix Opportunity costs, talk about this a bit more in How to Define Simple Living for Your Family The Life on Purpose Roadmap How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) @themanwhohasitall 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better 137. Back to school routines that we have in our house Family Rhythms 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement 69. Will a simpler home bring me peace? Working through a bad mood with one simple question   GET CONNECTED Make sure to share your thoughts with us in the Facebook group, or on Instagram!   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, welcome to the simple minimalist podcast, I am sure that many of you know me as your nerdy girlfriend. I am the mom of three kids. And I am passionate about us simplifying our home, our hearts our lives. So we can clear those distractions, clear the clutter and show up for what really matters to us in the lives that with intention with purpose, you may have noticed my tagline change to intentional living and parenting. And I think that really gets to the heart of where we're all headed towards where we're all wanting to work towards doing things in our day that help us feel intentional towards that bigger picture of what we want in our life. 0:45 On today's episode, I'm talking about a question that was brought up in the reader feedback survey. And it came up a few times and a few different ways. And that's the general question of how do I balance it? Also, it was a question directed towards me. And I'm going to talk about how I have found a balance in this really busy year of life, hoping that what I share with you will help you you find balance in whatever busy season you find yourself in. 1:10 I know I've spent a lot of years, especially in the early years when I had all of my kids at home, the toddlers and the baby. And I remember searching like balancing motherhood balancing kids balancing babies, toddlers, I was really drawn into this notion that if I could just find the right steps, then this would all be easy, that it would all flow effortlessly, that things would feel balanced. And I think a lot of us crave that, that balance that sense of balance. 1:44 But maybe we don't really sit and think about what balance is like, what do we think it is? I think on one hand, we kind of look around and look at all the things everyone's doing, for their health, for their parenting, for their jobs, for their personal development. And we think that's just a general list of all the things I need to be doing to be a healthy human. And I should just be doing the all of those things and feel that sense of inner peace that's going to come from finding balance. 2:11 In my experience of going through the years of, you know, raising small children, having them at home,
163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun
14-04-2022
163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun
How to have more fun with our kids. It is OK if you feel like you aren't enjoying your kids and if having fun with them is not happening or is hard to do.  There are a lot of reasons why we aren't having fun and I want to talk about those and then share ways to bring fun into your family, on purpose   In this episode we talk about: The cultural image that makes parenting look fun will be easy and natural. And part of us holds onto this stock photo dream of family fun.  Is Motherhood What You Envisioned It To Be? The culture of fun in your family and where people in your family are getting their 'fun' 9 Simple Ways to Cultivate Your Family Culture Letting the day build up into a stress mountain vs having small redirects in our day When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 55. Tips to move out of the stress response and into resilience Distractions from harder emotions vs honouring our emotions and doing something to help us move on 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Reasons why we aren't having fun with our kids 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood 25. Working through unhappiness in motherhood, life coaching steps for handling a bad day. Bonus Q+A Episode Making fun when things feel heavy Making fun happen, on purpose Making a list Simple and Easy Kid Activities (mega list of ideas) some family fun suggestions  tips on planning it How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) Family Rhythms + free worksheet 148. Why even make family Christmas traditions? (+ ones that didn’t work, ones that did) three ways we can bring fun into our family How to bring fun into the harder times of your day Handing sibling rivalry and competition while doing fun things following through on our plans for fun, even when we don't feel like it showing up well for the fun COMPANION EPISODE: 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself All of the things that take away your presence and attention from doing fun things with your kids Things that feel more important and how to reframe them The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) What memories are you making in motherhood (and how it can change your motherhood experience) Connect and let me know how you are having fun, on purpose Post about it in the Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram   Simple Pleasure This delightful new email newsletter by my friend Taco Katie who is sharing her great reads at This Librarian is Reading. Sign up for her newsletter here!  Follow her on Instagram    Full Transcript (unedited) HI friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the Simple on purpose podcast. If you're new here, welcome. I started simple on purpose about eight years ago, I think. And the whole premise is to simplify like I learned about decluttering. I started decluttering my home, it helped me declutter my life. My mind, it helped me to just realize all the ways I was living on autopilot. So I thought I want to simplify things. I want to simplify my life, my home, and I want to start showing up for my life on purpose. I want to do things on purpose. So that's what I'm here for, for helping you do that to helping you turn off the autopilot. Because I know what it's like to get to the end of your day, and feel like you are constantly busy, but also totally unproductive. I want to help you stop just reacting to life and start being really proactive with what ...
162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives.
08-04-2022
162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives.
When we want others to think well of us, what is happening is we are buying into the cultural myth that WE are all good, all the time. And then our EGO steps in to defend this truth and make us look good all the time. But this comes at a cost, it disconnects us from others. What if we can allow the not so good parts of ourselves to be seen and accepted? What if people don't HAVE TO to think the best of us? Quieting our ego in our relationships, especially in our marriage.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  In this episode I discuss: Assumed judgement versus concrete judgement.  Assuming what others think about us reflects what we think about ourselves Differing between the cultural term of EGO from how Freud uses the term EGO Wanting to believe we are all good, all the time How the EGO shows up when we feel we are being judged or feel inferior Should we be happy all of the time?  66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife The cultural message that we are all awesome, all the time! Acknowledging that we are not good all the time and how that can free us and improve our relationships The problem with teaching our kids there are 'good guys and bad guys' The role of serotonin in feeling superior and special  Tame your Anxiety by Loretta Breuning, PhD Habits of a Happy Brain by Loretta Breuning, PhD Differentiating between wanting our friends to think well of us or wanting to be socially superior Making change from a place of shame/inferiority What does it mean if we are NOT 100% good or 100% bad How it can improve our relationships  Acknowledging our good without minimizing it and taking ourselves off the hook to perform Validating ourselves rather than looking for validation from others.  Acknowledging what is 'good' and 'bad' in our partner and allowing it to bring ease rather than a fight The Hard and Awesome Game we play with our kids and how it de-stigmatizes 'hard things' and also celebrates 'awesome things'. Letting go of the expectation that the whole day has to be good and awesome and allowing the hard parts of our day to not take over Stop by Instagram for some fun conversations there    Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, I'm Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is the podcast where I remind you to stop, slow down, 0:14 breathe. Like really take a deep breath. Let's just slow down. Because I want you to stop where you are. So you can pay attention. what's working, what's not? 0:28 What will bring you a sense of purpose today. So I'm Shanna, you know, me as your nerdy girlfriend. I have been coaching women since 2018. And I am a counselor in training working on my certification. I'm also a mom of three kids, my kids, how old are they now, my oldest just turned 11. My middle is nine and my youngest is seven. So I am just here going through the motions of motherhood and marriage and life alongside you guys, and just trying to share on the topics that come up for me. And this, this is a topic that has been in my drafts for a while. And then this morning, Connor was home. And he gave me a suggestion for how I could handle some of our banking that we're working on, I do all of the finances. And man did my defenses go up over that. So I went to this notes file. And I just started self reflecting and adding more to this episode. So I want to open up with a story. And it was a few years back, my husband came home from work and he said, How was your day? And I was like, Oh, it's good. And he was quiet. And he said, You haven't said that it was good for a really long time. I'm not sure if I've shared this story before I might have. But when he said that I felt so embarrassed.
161. Why having LESS matters, the benefits of decluttering and minimalism
01-04-2022
161. Why having LESS matters, the benefits of decluttering and minimalism
Ever wonder if decluttering will be worth your time? Does minimalism really matter much? This question was asked in a recent survey I held and I thought it was so valuable. Because we all want to know that going through the work of decluttering will be worth it. Sometimes we need to hear about the benefits to help motivate us to start and move forward with the work of simplifying.  I'll share my own decluttering story as well as the benefits I see from in, after being 7-8 years in.  Why having less matters, is a topic that was suggested in the 2022 Feedback Survey. Make sure you give your feedback if you haven't done so yet.  Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Collect memories, not things  Starting out with my pitch to celebrate with your people, and make memories together when the opportunity comes your way. Take the chance! Why You Should Date Your Friends Giving Experiences Instead of Gifts   A bit about my decluttering journey.  It started with the book The Joy of Less, by Francine Jay. This book prompted me to start decluttering the Basement of Shame.  This was the big declutter I started with and since then, decluttering has been a routine in my life   The benefits of having less Clearer space We know there is a scientific correlation between your mental state and clutter What Clutter Do You Tolerate? (Bust Your Tolerations Workbook) Being able to USE your space for what you want The 16 ways minimalism has changed my life How it makes our space easier to clean, but also #welivehere More mindful More mindful of how I shop 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) Five Ways We Justify Needless Shopping The mindset is not about consumption anymore The Habit of Consumption More clarity Decluttering means making constant decisions, so you need to self-reflect as you make these decisions. This helps you know more about who you are what you want to do with your space and your life. As you make more decisions, you become a more confident decision-maker How to Define Simple Living for Your Family Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? 143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Enough is enough Having less means knowing when to say ENOUGH BEMA episode on ENOUGH I have sweaters at home, I don't need more Fewer decisions are required when you don't have the excess distracting you  144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE The Quickest Way to Simplify Your Life (and nine areas to try it out) When you have less, you have what you want and that becomes 'enough' The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Intentionality seeps into your life This whole process of removing the distractions, the entertainment, the overconsumption really makes you aware of what is left.  Decluttering over the years puts you in a mindset of asking WHY and constantly evaluating things you are bringing into your home and life Six mindsets that help you become a minimalist   REMEMBER Declutter is simple but not easy. It is a lot of uncomfortable work. But the short-term discomfort of decluttering is better than the long-term discomfort of living with clutter.  139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you?   Stop by Instagram for the basement before and after This is what our basement looked like for many years, with the DIY fort - Our Minimalist Family Home: Basement Before and After             View this post on Instagram
160. Getting dressed can be a keystone habit, creating an easy wardrobe / INSIGHTS from the 30for30 closet remix
16-03-2022
160. Getting dressed can be a keystone habit, creating an easy wardrobe / INSIGHTS from the 30for30 closet remix
This is a continuation of the insights we had in the #moms30for30 challenge, where we wore 30 items of clothes for 30 days.   This challenge was a way for us to shop our closets, wear clothing items we never wear (cause we always stick with familiar, right!?), put together outfits, and get dressed each day.    In this episode we cover: The power of visual data aka taking dorky outfit selfies How getting dressed can be a keystone habit that has a ripple effect in other areas of your life Paying attention to how you FEEL when you get dressed   The personal goal I gave myself for this challenge versus the goal I have had in past challenges Can comfort and style co-exist (for the under 60 crowd?) How taking the time to observe and edit your wardrobe can make getting dressed simple and easy Same clothes but different looks, using accessories and the rule of three The breakdown of my numbers in doing this challenge  22 items for 26 days 7 Pairs of pants (3 jeans, 1 black jean, 1 jogger) 17 Tops 7 blouses 3 sweaters 3 tees  4 cardigans (Head over to the previous episode post to see the photos of my outfits) Building a capsule wardrobe is not about having all of the options. It is more about having a handful of great items that you love My encouragement to empower you in dressing how YOU want Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Simple Pleasure Is a handheld fabric steamer.   I bought mine last year and have used it for things like drapes and curtains, thrifted items, and most of my shirts.  It is easy and fast to use and the satisfaction of seeing those wrinkles and creases steamed out is making this my simple pleasure! This is the one I use.    Mentioned and related links: Join the Facebook group, if you are ready to participate in the community!  The realization I had when I saw the Instagram feed of me instead of being pics of my kids When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids The emotional shopping I was doing last fall 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping)  The rule of three Simple Style Tips for Moms The 2022 Feedback Survey! I wonder about what you think, so I am going to ask you here and hope you will share your thoughts.    Full transcript  (unedited) This episode is part two of the insights that I am sharing on the moms 30 for 30 to 3430 Challenge, where we were wearing 30 items of clothes for mostly 30 days of the month of February. So I have been sharing my own insights as well as those insights of the women who joined along in the challenge and shared their experience in the Facebook group. Okay, side note about the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community Facebook group, I want to tell you two things. The first is that if you have applied to enter, you need to answer all of the entry questions. So if you haven't been approved yet, go back and do that. If you're interested in joining, be mindful of that. Don't close that window right away, answer all those questions. And the second point I want to make is, I really encourage you to be a minimalist with your Facebook groups, and only join this one if you want to be an active member, because this group is a place for community discussion. And that means participation. So if you feel like participating isn't something that you're going to be doing, then just keep listening along here. Keep reading through the email, don't worry about joining that group. And I don't want it to come off as harsh. But for any of you who have ever run an online community or an in person community, you know what I mean? It takes engagement to succeed and to create a community. And that is what I want to challenge the members of that Facebook group to be doing to become a community.