Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Welcome to Slop Quest! A show so ridiculous it'll feel like your brain got kicked in the nutz. Hosted by Ryan O'Neill and Andrew DeWitt.

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Slop Quest 42: Secret Service Outhouse

Slop Quest 42: Secret Service Outhouse

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with the Secret Service taking a dump in Ryan’s apartment. Then he freaks out about having to help a president or vice president take a dump outside as a secret service agent. The O’Neill rewatches the Police Academy kids’ cartoon and they talk about other rated R movie properties that got turned into children’s shows. Then they go through the staggering amount of Police Academy productions that came out in a row. O’Neill’s buddy ends up on Porter County Cops a localized version of “Cops”. Then Andy finds a hilarious medical device on Amazon that is so horribly translated that they can help but read all the instructions. Then they talk about idiotic bank robbing strategies. Andy’s friend can’t drive stick and has a panic attack on the highway driving a muscle car. Then our good pal Tracy finds a “Psychic Defense” class and the gang goes crazy!

Episodes

Slop Quest 42: Secret Service Outhouse

Slop Quest 42: Secret Service Outhouse

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with the Secret Service taking a dump in Ryan’s apartment. Then he freaks out about having to help a president or vice president take a dump outside as a secret service agent. The O’Neill rewatches the Police Academy kids’ cartoon and they talk about other rated R movie properties that got turned into children’s shows. Then they go through the staggering amount of Police Academy productions that came out in a row. O’Neill’s buddy ends up on Porter County Cops a localized version of “Cops”. Then Andy finds a hilarious medical device on Amazon that is so horribly translated that they can help but read all the instructions. Then they talk about idiotic bank robbing strategies. Andy’s friend can’t drive stick and has a panic attack on the highway driving a muscle car. Then our good pal Tracy finds a “Psychic Defense” class and the gang goes crazy!

Slop Quest 41: Looking for Mr. Bang Bus

Slop Quest 41: Looking for Mr. Bang Bus

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with a sleep deprived DeWitt and O’Neill insists he’s on cocaine. We go on an audio tour of Big Earl’s neighborhood. Then we write an amazing love story starring O’Neill and a homeless lady. Then the boys find out that their movies are being titty censored by advertiser friendly big tech. Andy talks about Logitech floating the idea of monthly computer mouse . Then Andy and O’Neill can’t stop seeing horrific Twitter racism , Faces of Death style nightmares and porno spam bots in their feeds. Then they start fake rumors about politicians and they try to find the Bang Bus.

Slop Quest 40: Confucius Say

Slop Quest 40: Confucius Say

FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy has ground breaking information on Confucius that makes Ryan very angry. Then Andrew Tate’s manhood disappears. Ryan talks about how whiskey has hurt the manhood of many different societies. Then Andrew misremembers the Quizno’s Sponge Monkeys. This spurs a new ad campaign for Saab. Then Andy makes up a series of male cologne names. Then O’Neill tries to deliver the famous speech from The Princess Bride. Then the boys talk about how a woman should compliment a man. Ryan writes a sequel to Good Will Hunting. Then they talk ADA glory holes.

Slop Quest 39: : Married Red Pill

Slop Quest 39: : Married Red Pill

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill starts the episode with new Southern church phrases, then brags about how much micro plastics are in his nuts. Then Andy introduces O’Neill to the hilarious philosophy behind “The Married Red Pill”. O’Neill roasts the entire thing the way only O’Neill can. This inspires new business plans the boys really enjoy. Aaron has an amazing neighborhood update. O’Neill breaks his no doodie rule for a special occasion. Then the boys debate whether or not sneaky New Yorkers could bang midwestern farmer’s wives without being caught and tortured in a barn. Then Carl shoots Urkel.

Slop Quest 38: Sinus Up, We're Buying!

Slop Quest 38: Sinus Up, We're Buying!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys open strong with a DC Comics pitch about Batman’s butler, Alfred, pissing his pants constantly and trying to cover it up. Then Andy remembers all of NOFX’s lyrics all at once after he forgot about the band. Then Andy and Ryan come up with The Bad Boy Business Brothers who make online business courses which includes asserting your dominance in the office via leg humping. Then Aaron blows us away with his pitch for replacing Alfred from Batman with Alf. It’s fantastic.

Slop Quest 37: Big Earl Skakel Returns!

Slop Quest 37: Big Earl Skakel Returns!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Big Earl Skakel is back in the studio and there’s nothing but classic Earl talk. In other words, obscure name drops from the late 70’s, obscure name drops from the 80’s, body building talk, BBW horn doggin’, political talk, and his plans for his new special! It’s an amazing, classic Big Earl SLOPISODE!

Slop Quest 36: Fortune Cookie Fortune

Slop Quest 36: Fortune Cookie Fortune

Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest Andy gets some amazing encouragement about Dolores (don’t worry, people who hate it, he doesn’t read it or try to write any more on air). Then the boys come up with an amazing “all you can eat erotic Chinese buffet for bachelorettes only featuring themed funny foods”. Then they try to get past the censors for the Sunday comics page with some sneaky word play. Then Andrew does an impression of Ryan as conspiracy theorist talk show host. Then Aaron is tired of Maddie Bosch. Then Burt saves a drunk guy’s life. The boys propose moving the White House to the middle of America. An OF chick enrages Andrew by photoshopping the choicest bits. Aaron catches a guy peeing on a plane. And Ryan is gross when he stays at hotels.

Slop Quest 35: Kick Me in the Dolores

Slop Quest 35: Kick Me in the Dolores

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy writes the entire first chapter of Dolores and it causes him to have a real psychic connection to Aaron. One of Andy’s friends tricks him into saying hi to a fake Stephen King. Then they talk about old times out door “dogging’. Then they talk walking sticks. Then Andrew tells the tragic story of Death Mole. Then O’Neill wants to replace the White House janitors with a “topless maid” service to save money. Then Andrew reveals how Dolores affected the people closest to him.

Slop Quest 34: Hawk Tuah Quest

Slop Quest 34: Hawk Tuah Quest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys try to stay clean for the algorithmic gods for the first 10 minutes and fail miserably. Then Andy an amazing water park idea. Ryan and Andy argue about the appeal of the old hawk tuah. They research the invention of the fictional “robot voice” then they deep dive on one of the craziest topics ever , realistic, historically accurate Bronze Age British versus Roman beef. This argument gets heated, and historical! Then O’Neill comes up with a Bronze Age reality show. Then the deep dive on a mom’s website and there’s some business call talk. It’s great!

Slop Quest 33: You Had Me At “Throw Me Through The Door”

Slop Quest 33: You Had Me At “Throw Me Through The Door”

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy finds his erotic tastes have become more refined in a way that surprises everyone. Then O’Neill has some existential questions for Andy. Then the boys reminisce about 1980’s Florida. Then they create a XXX comedy trio called The Three Boobs that uses Three Stooges style antics on a porno set. Then Andy’s buddy cleans up by being a Napster DJ in college. Then they rail against the rising cost of car insurance due to expensive novelty cars. Then Andrew has a dysfunctional relationship in college and gets thrown through a door.

Slop Quest 32: Jerry Rocha Kicks Cancer in The Nutz

Slop Quest 32: Jerry Rocha Kicks Cancer in The Nutz

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On today’s episode we have one of the boys’ best buds of all time, Jerry Rocha's finally on. He details his harrowing battle with stage four cancer that was diagnosed as terminal. This is a brutal, terrifying and tear jerking account that's non stop laughs.

Slop Quest 31: Crucified by Chocolate

Slop Quest 31: Crucified by Chocolate

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andrew has another dream about Killer Kops. Ryan buys vintage toys. Andy’s dad sings him awake as a child . Then the boys discuss the saddest way to go fishing. Then they revisit the logistics of the “dildo in the hotdog bun” routine. Then there’s a lion that only goes pee peat night time. Then there’s an intense neighborhood situation with Aaron. Then Andy finds a Tesla owner who loves Elon too much. Then they talk about Ned Ludd and finally Pelosi gives an incredible speech.

Slop Quest 30: A.I. Yurk Off

Slop Quest 30: A.I. Yurk Off

Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest

Slop Quest 29: Cheese Caves

Slop Quest 29: Cheese Caves

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill finds out that Japan has a racoon problem and perhaps art imitates life. Then Andy phones O’Neill with a killer idea for the opening scene of Killer Kops. Then Andy tells O’Neill about the secret government Cheese Caves and O’Neill is dubious about it. Then they talk about Crystal Pepsi and come up with a business plan to get guaranteed HJs from a Yoga Instructor.

Slop Quest 28: Black Out

Slop Quest 28: Black Out

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Mike Black is in the studio again and it’s a fire episode! O’Neill uses his feet to flush toilets. Mike finds a self cleaning toilet in Chicago. Andy pitches a train car hobo podcast and talks about the death of Airwolf. Then Mike makes Andrew talk about Fat Gambit. The boys come up with a tiny penised Lothario who steals women from well endowed men. Then they initiate Mike into the details of their Killer Kops screenplay and then Ryan and Mike lose it while Andy reads an article on “dad privilege”. They also come up a new Big Rock Candy Mountain style song for shitty dads.

Slop Quest 27: Mommy Farticles

Slop Quest 27: Mommy Farticles

FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ready for your slop? A man demands his wife have another baby so he can keep breastfeeding himself. O’Neill learns about RFK’s brain worm and loses his marbles at the state of politics in America. Then Andrew finds an article on fathers taking too long taking a dump and Ryan goes nuclear.

Slop Quest 26: Hard as a Johnson

Slop Quest 26: Hard as a Johnson

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan’s leashes new Boeing news on Andy then he heckles ICP at a comedy show. The Rock doesn’t show up for work and pisses in empty water bottle. Andy gets heckled while taking a dump again. Then the boys role play as stolen valor four star generals at the mall. Then Alex Jones is President and has a two hour call in show every day. Finally O’Neill goes crazy on an article about why single moms shouldn’t date single dads. We end about ten minutes early because of s scheduling conflict but well run ten minutes later on the next one so don’t worry! It’s a great episode.

Slop Quest 25: Double Tap

Slop Quest 25: Double Tap

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy accidentally drinks a bunch of children’s Benadryl and worries about blacking out on the show. Ryan has a 100 day cough. Scientists are breeding cows that fart less. Ryan reveals a plan that has China eating beans to speed up global warming. Andy solves O’Neill’s jealousy problem with the Hollywood system. A new business idea is born that’s legitimately good. Andy recounts an audition in the buff. Ryan gets a Slop Quest. People love the new name. Ryan is introduced to the lyrics of Shave Em Dry. Then some grandpa gun talk leads to a new buddy cop movie idea that O’Neill absolutely loves.

Slop Quest 24: McGruff the Lie Dog

Slop Quest 24: McGruff the Lie Dog

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest (what a name!) we talk about a scary religious dream Andy has about O’Neill. Andy gets tricked by fake news again. Aaron’s mom is embroiled in some serious celebrity worship. Speaking of religion, Reddit gets mad at a religious post we made and leaves even more detailed comments. Then they talk about the secret karate moves of Jesus, bean talk and Dubai flooding. Then O’Neill tempts Obama fate again. It’s a sloppy, sloppy time.

Slop Quest 23 : Bang Busters

Slop Quest 23 : Bang Busters

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy hears some of the ads YouTube inserts into the middle of our free video and the timing is incredible. O’Neill and Aaron bond over the piss drinking monkey idea again which upsets Andy. A drone spies on O’Neill while HE pees. A museum guard hangs up his own painting and gets fired prompting a discussion of whether or not hanging an unauthorized nude painting of yourself counts as flashing. Then a quote from O’Neill angers a fan and it becomes a Whazzup Man of Reddit post.