As they anticipate the upcoming Advent season, Dan and Rachael take a moment to look back, sharing their distinct perspectives on Christmas and delving into memories from their childhood associated with the holiday. Whether it's a genuine love for the rituals and traditions or a more somber reflection grounded in challenging past experiences, we’re exploring the diverse emotional landscapes that the season can evoke.  We invite you to listen as we discuss the role of nostalgia, memory, and location in order to allow for more compassionate and empathetic engagement with ourselves and with others as we navigate the joys and challenges that come with this season.

As we approach a holiday season that’s highly focused on food, we’re thrilled to be joined by Diane Summers, MS, RDN, CEDS-S, CD, a highly experienced and nationally registered dietitian specializing in the treatment of eating disorders, for an insightful exploration of the multifaceted issue of food insecurity. Drawing on her 19 years of expertise, Diane delves into two essential frameworks through which to understand this critical topic. The first framework begins with a stark reality: 12.8% (17 million households) in the US face food insecurity, with disproportionately higher rates for Black and Hispanic households, as reported by the USDA. Food insecurity is defined here as the uncertainty or inability to acquire enough food due to insufficient funds or resources. This conversation also explores a second framework, inviting us to examine food insecurity through the lens of our culture's pervasive obsession with altering bodies through dieting and restrictive eating. A note to listeners that this conversation does mention disordered eating but does not go into detail.  Diane, along with Dan and Rachael, navigate the delicate terrain of recognizing the privilege of having access to enough food while also acknowledging the potentially unhealthy relationships many harbor with food. The discussion touches on the impact of societal norms, trauma associated with growing up in a diet culture, and the subsequent internalization of food as an adversary. This episode provides a thought-provoking and compassionate examination of the complex issue of food insecurity, with insights into the societal, cultural, and personal dynamics involved. Related Resources: Listen to our previous conversation with Diane Summers in Food, Kindness, and Our Bodies Resources cited in this episode: Poverty, by America by Matthew Desmond; USDA Food Security in the U.S. Statistics, 2022

Have you ever wondered if you or a loved one may have adult ADHD? It's estimated that more than 8 million Americans, nearly 5% of the population, are living with this condition – many without even realizing it, as reported by WebMD. While ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition present from birth, it often goes undiagnosed until adulthood. This topic is gaining increasing awareness, and an adult diagnosis can lead to newfound self-awareness, helping individuals shed years of shame and confusion. Joining us as our esteemed guest is Dr. Pam Davis, the Director of Graduate Programs in Counseling at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. Dr. Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor in North Carolina and a Registered Play Therapist Supervisor for the Association of Play Therapy. In this episode, Dr. Davis answers our questions about the symptoms of adult ADHD, the reasons for missed childhood diagnoses, and how to navigate this condition, whether it's within yourself or in your relationships with others.  Please note that this episode, like all of our podcast content, is not intended to replace medical advice. If you suspect you may have ADHD, it's advisable to seek professional assessment and treatment options from a healthcare provider.

Trauma is inevitable in a fallen world. It can range from small "t" traumas to capital "T" traumas, but the common thread is the violation of your dignity as a human being.  If trauma is inevitable, this means we are all encountering stories of trauma every day - in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. So what are we to do when someone we love or care for is hurting? You might find yourself saying, "I'm so sorry to hear that," but often, it feels like you're not doing enough to truly help. To make a real difference, we must begin by gaining a deeper understanding of the impact of trauma and abuse, starting with our own experiences. If today's conversation strikes a chord with you and you're ready to explore your own trauma stories to better support others with courage and care, we invite you to check out the newly launched Effective Trauma Care Online Course. For more information, visit theallendercenter.org/online-courses

How can we become more capable of repairing our relationships with ourselves, others, and with God? In this episode, Dan and Rachael dive into the concept of repair in both personal and larger societal contexts. They stress the importance of humility in our repair process, introducing the concept of "epistemic humility" as a way to express love by making space for others. It’s a curious approach that acknowledges the limitations of our perspective, which is shaped by our unique experiences. The conversation becomes personal as they reflect on a past publication that may have caused harm and explore how these experiences can be used for growth and repair. By practicing repair with justice, mercy, and humility (Micah 6:8) in our day-to-day personal relationships, we can also begin to address broader societal issues with a similar approach. Rachael closes out this episode with this reminder: “Repair is a core part of what it means to love and be loved.” This episode contains brief explicit language that may be offensive to some listeners; discretion is advised.

We’re so pleased to be joined by therapist and author Aundi Kolber, known for her acclaimed works "Try Softer" and, most recently, "Strong Like Water." As a licensed professional counselor specializing in trauma- and body-centered therapies, Aundi's expertise is deeply informed by her personal journey of healing from complex childhood trauma.  Aundi candidly shares her personal journey of healing, from confronting the profound extent of her past trauma and discovering healing methods that nurture a sense of safety, self-care, and self-compassion. She shares: “Part of my own journey, and I think my writing, I hope, I pray, that the trajectory of my writing is about that to live into these values actually has required me to get softer so I could get stronger.” We invite you to join Dan, Rachael, and Aundi on this week’s episode of the Allender Center Podcast. This episode contains brief explicit language that may be offensive to some listeners; discretion is advised.

When it comes to telling the truth, we grapple with a fundamental tension— we’re living in a fallen world as imperfect beings, yet we also recognize and long for the beauty of truth. When it comes to relationships, especially close ones, this tension can become even more complex. The fear of potential consequences often competes with our desire to be honest and authentic. Navigating this path can be tricky. There's a fine line between being authentic and being cruel. What's needed is a generous spirit, an understanding of how much truth we can bear, and kindness. Dan closes the episode with the gentle reminder: “And this is why I keep coming back to Jesus being able to say, I am the way and the truth and the life. And if I'm intending to follow, to be aligned and alive and molded, then I want that way. I want that truth. I want that life. And I'm going to find it not in myself, not in you, but in him, and therefore in me, and you and us. And it just holds the tension that what we dream we will never get, but what we dream we will become.”

Ever wondered why we sometimes keep the truth hidden, even from those we love most? Today, we’re exploring the intricacies of truth and deceit with questions like: Why do we resort to little white lies? What drives us to withhold the truth? Is keeping a secret ever an act of love? And how do we navigate the weight of truth when it feels unbearable? The humbling reality is that none of us can handle the unfiltered truth all the time and we all have the capacity for deception. How does recognizing our inability to bear the full truth serve us? How can we move toward greater honesty and authenticity, both within ourselves and in our relationships with others? Join Dan and Rachael as they navigate the depths of truth, deception, and the hope that emerges from our quest for more honesty and love.

Join us for an all-new episode of the Allender Center Podcast as we sit down with our dear friend Matthias Roberts, author of the upcoming book "Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned by Religion." Matthias, a queer psychotherapist specializing in religious and spiritual trauma, brings a unique perspective to the conversation. His book is a beacon of hope for those who have felt ignored, oppressed, or rejected by their religious communities and churches. It offers a clear path forward, centered on speaking truth, deep listening, and acting with compassion. Join co-hosts Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they engage in a conversation with Matthias about the origins of his latest book, the struggle between staying put and envisioning fresh paths forward, and the unexpected connections between concrete and our faith. Yes, concrete. If you're eager to explore a fresh perspective on faith, healing, and the power of community, this episode is a must-listen. Plus, don’t miss Matthias's book, "Holy Runaways," now available for pre-order at https://matthiasroberts.com/holyrunaways/ and coming to bookstores everywhere on October 3rd.

Welcome to a very special episode of the Allender Center Podcast! We can hardly believe it, but today marks a monumental milestone – our 500th episode! 🎉 Join your hosts, Dan and Rachael, as they come together to celebrate this incredible journey with you, our listeners, and to answer some of your questions about the inner workings of the conversations that happen here on the Allender Center Podcast. As a heartfelt thank you for your support, we're doing something extra special: Head over to theallendercenter.org/500 to not only listen but to WATCH the live recording of this celebratory episode with Dan and Rachael.  You’ll also gain access to a special bonus section, where Dan and Rachael dive deeper into your questions and share some personal behind-the-scenes stories. It's a unique peek into the making of the Allender Center Podcast that you won't want to miss. 👉 Get access to this week’s video episode and bonus segment at: theallendercenter.org/500 All of us here at the Allender Center are grateful for your loyal listenership. It's your continued support and engagement that have made this journey so remarkable. So, we hope you’ll join us as we celebrate 500 episodes of growth, healing, and connection. And here’s to 500 more!

When we examine the far-reaching impact of spiritual abuse, it becomes evident that it transcends isolated incidents, permeating a broader culture, system, and ideology that inflict harm. In this week's episode, Rachael engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Joel Kiekintveld, a pastor and Adjunct Professor at The Seattle School, shedding light on the intricate dynamics of systems and cultures that foster spiritually abusive environments. Joel recently hosted Season 4 of Transforming Engagement, the Podcast, called "Church After Mars Hill," in response to the widely popular podcast, “The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill.” Through their series of conversations, Joel and his guests not only examine Mars Hill Church as a case study to identify the systems, cultures, and leadership structures that contributed to its downfall, but they also create a space for introspection and imagination for what can be done with these lessons learned. In the aftermath of the destruction wrought by spiritually abusive church cultures, their dialogues explore the delicate tension between deconstruction and rebuilding. We hope you enjoy this conversation and also check out “Church After Mars Hill,” the full season of Transforming Engagement, the Podcast, at transformingengagement.org/podcast

In a time when divisions seem to define us, can we still foster meaningful conversations capable of driving real change? In anticipation of the upcoming virtual summit, “Seattle School Connect 2023: Discourse,” we’re exploring the intricacies and challenges of engaging in discourse with Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President and Provost of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Discourse isn't simply having a conversation; it's a transformative dialogue that can impact and change us. In this episode hosted by Rachael Clinton Chen, Derek McNeil walks us through some of the challenges we face in a world filled with polarization, trauma, the influence of technology, and much more. He also delineates some of the essential elements necessary for authentic discourse to thrive, emphasizing the creation of intentional and sacred spaces where curiosity and empathetic understanding can truly flourish. We hope you’ll join us for Seattle School Connect 2023: Discourse, a free virtual summit kicking off this fall. This series is designed to engage in challenging discussions in order to enhance our capacity to serve God and neighbor through transforming relationships. The inaugural event hosted by The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology is centered around the art of discourse, focusing on pertinent cultural topics. With a lineup of 6 live conversations, we aim to explore the practice of constructive conversations while embodying values of humility and hospitality. By engaging in these discussions, attendees will gain insights into bridging gaps, confronting personal assumptions, and building relationships grounded in empathy and growth. Registration is free and open to all. Learn more at https://theseattleschool.edu/event/connect2023/

We’re back with Curt Thompson, MD, to talk about hope. Have you ever wondered how to summon hope when everything seems bleak? Is hope a fleeting notion or something we can truly cultivate? Hope, like faith and love, is not just an abstraction, but a skill we can nurture. It's a profound practice that finds its home in both our minds and bodies. Curt shares: “The things that I pay attention to on purpose, I remember. And what I remember becomes my anticipated future. Hope is a function of the mind that addresses the future. And this is what I mean when I say hope is a thing that I form by paying attention to the glory that is offered to me in the middle of my pain, in the present moment. And it requires lots and lots of practice, but it then is not like, ‘Oh, maybe I'll have hope. I hope I have hope.’ It's a thing that I maybe I won't like. And so… I'm going to have to practice.”    We thrive on shared experiences of hope within a community. Even a brief 3-minute interaction can spark the daring prospect of relying on another person. Our communal practice etches hope into our brain's pathways, grounding it in the way we engage with one another. Although personal introspection has its place, the true growth of hope blossoms within the context of human connection. Tune in to this thought-provoking dialogue as we explore the intricacies of cultivating hope and the transformative power of embracing it together. As you listen, we’d be honored if you shared this episode with someone else, too! theallendercenter.org/podcast

This week, we have the privilege of welcoming psychiatrist, speaker and author, Curt Thompson, MD, to the Allender Center Podcast. Curt skillfully guides us through a journey into the roots of shame within the human experience. He explores its emergence even before the infamous act of consuming the forbidden fruit, noting that the serpent's temptation, often overlooked as an act of violence, effectively exploits and manipulates shame. This manipulation resonates through time, manifesting in ways that disconnect individuals from one another and create internal divides, subsequently impacting personal unity and relationships. Joined by co-hosts Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, this conversation unfolds at the crossroads of theology, neuroscience, and the intricate tapestry of the human experience. We think you’ll encounter at least a few thought-provoking concepts that you may not have considered before – we certainly did! And there's still more to come. Stay tuned for Part 2 of our engaging discussion with Dr. Curt Thompson next week.

Let’s talk about gaslighting — a manipulation tactic that seeks to distort reality and erode one's sense of self. In this episode, Dan and Rachael dissect the mechanics of gaslighting, from its manifestation in personal relationships to its insidious presence within larger structures and societal frameworks. Gaslighting operates in the shadows, a subtle and insidious act that can be challenging to spot and break free from.  Our hope is that this conversation will not only help you identify instances of gaslighting but also shed light on the path toward profound healing.

When trauma occurs, how can you respond effectively in those critical moments? Tragedy is an inevitable part of life, and having immediate tools to respond can help mitigate compounding trauma.  Join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they offer a practical framework for engaging with traumatic experiences. They present a 3-step process to help you respond: sitting down, grounding yourself with both feet on the floor, and focusing on your breath. This is not about resolving trauma, but rather how to tend to your body in those crucial moments. While these strategies are not a substitute for professional help or a comprehensive trauma healing journey, the aim is to provide practical tools to regulate and care for yourself or others during those initial minutes or hours after a traumatic experience. Please note, we understand that discussing traumatic experiences can be triggering, and we encourage you to be compassionate with yourselves as you listen. Join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they equip you with essential insights and practical tools for trauma triage, empowering you to respond compassionately and effectively to trauma when it occurs.

Join Rachael and Dan in this podcast episode along with Jill Dyer, Facilitator Care Coordinator at the Allender Center, to delve into the transformative power of prayer as a part of the healing journey and connecting with God and ourselves amidst harm and trauma. We understand that the thought of prayer can evoke different reactions. While it may bring comfort to some, it could also trigger further trauma and avoidance for others.  With this in mind, this discussion explores various forms of prayer that authentically emerge from within, going beyond structured words and embracing our embodied expressions of prayer. Jill shares how prayers can take many forms, from expressions of laughter to heartfelt laments, all of which can be powerful ways to connect with God.  The conversation also delves into the importance of attachment with God and how prayer can aid in repairing and deepening that connection. Join us in considering the profound impact of prayer on the journey towards healing and growth.

This week’s bonus episode was recorded with philosopher, professor, and author, Dr. Esther Lightcap Meek, as she was entering into her role as the inaugural Senior Scholar at The Seattle School in late 2022. Joined by hosts Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Chelle Stearns, this discussion centers around the importance of valuing and delighting in the real.  Epistemology is “the theory of knowledge,” or how we know what we know. Esther argues that knowing is not about acquiring power or control over things but rather about engaging in a loving relationship with reality. If you have a passion for philosophy, theology, or are simply seeking a fresh perspective, this episode is for you. In fact, you may find yourself listening more than once to extract all the nuggets of wisdom contained within.

We are thrilled to have Marcie Alvis Walker, the creator of the popular Instagram feed "Black Coffee With White Friends" and the author of the compelling memoir "Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays," as our special guest on this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast. Hosting this insightful conversation are Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster from the Allender Center. Marcie shares a bit about her process of writing her debut book, in which she beautifully shares her unique stories with candidness. She skillfully interlaces the tapestry of her cultural upbringing, along with her personal experiences grappling with various forms of racism, perfectionism, and the complex dynamics with her mother. Get ready to be inspired and moved as we hear a glimpse into her powerful narrative, and be sure to pick up her book “Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays,” available wherever books are sold. About our guest: Marcie Alvis Walker is the creator of the popular Instagram feed Black Coffee with White Friends. She is also the creator of Black Eyed Bible Stories. Marcie is passionate about what it means to embrace intersectionality, diversity, and inclusion in our spiritual lives. She lives in Chicago with her husband, her college-aged kid Max, and their dog, Evie. Her new book, EVERYBODY COME ALIVE: A MEMOIR IN ESSAYS, is available wherever books are sold.   Listener Resources: Check out Marcie Alvis Walker’s book, Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir In Essays Learn about Allender Center’s Racial Trauma & Healing offerings Enroll in the Healing the Wounded Heart online course from the Allender Center Read Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan Allender

“We're going to invite you as an audience to address the reality that we need to be mothered and we need to be fathered. Whether we have children, whether we have a partner. We need to be mothered and we need to be fathered. And equally, we need to mother and father,” begins Dr. Dan Allender in this week’s podcast episode, “The Eternality of Parenting.” We all have a deep need to be loved and to belong. Our parents are meant to be the first people to meet this need, but they are not always able to do so perfectly. We all have wounds from our childhood, and these wounds can continue to shape our lives. As we grow into adulthood, our fundamental need for love and belonging remains constant, even as we develop the ability to care for others. Recognizing this truth allows us to delve into the profound intersection of being both a parent and a child, as we continue to navigate our personal journeys of growth and healing. Join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they share personal stories of their experiences with being parented, parenting, and even grandparenting. Together, they delve into the profound concept of "The Eternality of Parenting" and its impact on our lives and relationships.