Happy Dummy Day, everyone! We get back into the swing of dumb by introducing my new co-host, Caity! To warm Cait up, we open up with Would You Rather about punching people during allergy season and becoming an illiterate monkey one week out of the month.

We also take a look at a bizarre dating situation in which a Chinese woman brought 27 of her family members on a blind date and expected the perspective boyfriend to front the bill. That man is either going to get ripped off on getting lucky or he's about to be the luckiest he's ever been.

This week, we also found a lovely stuffed cat. No, it's not Nanna's taxidermic feline friend. But it does have testicles for no reason we can discern. The internet has a lot about to say about it and Cait is in love.

We wrap up this week with a classic Worst of Humanity Urban Dictionary word. Suicide wank isn't what you'd expect it is. Or maybe it is. Who am I to decide how much of a freak you are?

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