What tells you you're performing? How do you know if you are playing? What causes play to turn into a performance? And what can we do to gently rebel against the apparent pressure to squeeze higher, faster, stronger performances from everything in today's world? Performance influences our lives, from work environments, people-pleasing in relationships, and filtering ourselves through social media. It's a tool that helps us convey something important to us. But we can get stuck there, especially in the midst of relentless achievement society. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we differentiate between the characteristics of performance and play. We examine the consequences of mixing them up and assess how it impacts who and how we are in a world that doesn't encourage rest. Recognising The Characteristics of Performance I unpack some performance characteristics and how we can recognise them in ourselves and the world around us. Outcome-Oriented Performance focuses on a desired result (i.e. delivering an experience, perception, or outcome) Partial or Exaggerated Performance involves elevating and hiding specific characteristics and elements. Caring What Others Think Performance is externally motivated, shaped by how others respond. Rehearsed Performance is planned and rehearsed. Even improvisation occurs within pre-determined parameters. Time-Limited It takes place with deadlines and time constraints, whether it’s a workday, a presentation, or a party. The mask can be removed when the performance is over. Clear Communication Performance is about clear communication to evoke thoughts and feelings in the audience. The Centre of Attention Performance involves holding, seeking, or commanding attention from others. https://youtu.be/5MVLM2q9mlA How To Recognise a Spirit of Playfulness So, how is playfulness different from performance? Being in the Moment Play is underpinned by flow, and the player is untethered from awareness of big-picture goals and time constraints. Spontaneity Play is open to exploring new directions and possibilities, even if they don't appear to make sense and deviate from previous paths. Responding to Feel and Flow Play is internally driven, unencumbered by external judgments or goals (it doesn't require external rewards, recognition, or approval). Unpredictable Outcomes Playfulness evolves naturally towards unexpected results (it's often hard to predict where it will end up and how it will get there). Illogical and Hard To Define Play doesn't follow logical steps towards desired outcomes, making it ambiguous and difficult to categorise. Not the Centre of Attention When in a playful flow, the player lacks self-consciousness (i.e. the direction they take isn't influenced by the attention they receive). Oscillating Between Play and Performance Play and performance are not mutually exclusive. The creative process, for example, oscillates between the two. First, we open and explore the possibilities. From there, we can hone in, narrow down, and give form to ideas we want to develop further. This non-linear dance goes on. Knowing whether we want to be playing or performing at any given moment is helpful. Performance Sabotaging Play Focusing on performance can stifle playfulness, leading to stress and reduced creativity. Play Disrupting Performance Excessive playfulness in contexts that require structure and clarity can hinder achieving specific goals. The Return To Serenity Island The Return to Serenity Island is relaunching soon. It's an immersive, self-paced course that offers space to explore your values and desires within a spirit of play. It follows a gentle narrative arc with soundscapes, creative prompts, and exploratory videos to inspire you to think of your life as an island rich in potential and promise. We will be meeting for six online weekly picnic sessions ...

Would you say you have fire in your belly? What does it burn for? I love exploring this question with highly sensitive people, many of whom have a deep, smouldering fire within. This fire is often linked to our values, beliefs, and personally compelling principles. I love helping people explore and (re)connect with this inner fire, supporting them to figure out how to harness it in unapologetic ways. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we will consider what this fire looks, feels, and sounds like. We’ll also explore how it can sometimes get extinguished, hidden, or even escalate beyond control. We think about how to fuel, harness, and express our inner fire in ways that resonate with us as individuals. What does it mean to have a fire in your belly, and how can we express it without conforming to others' expectations? As Dorcas Cheng-Tozun said about social justice for the sensitive soul, we don’t have to fit into anyone else's boxes when it comes to expressing ourselves. The fire in everyone’s belly burns differently, and how we process and turn it outwards is equally unique What is The Fire in Your Belly? It's usually a compliment when we say someone has fire in their belly. It speaks to a visible energy, enthusiasm, and sense of purpose that radiates from within. But this phrase doesn’t always account for those whose fire burns deeply and quietly and isn’t as immediately apparent as the big, bright flames we might associate with explicit passion. For highly sensitive people, that inner fire is often potent. Fire In The Belly of Sensitivity If you search for definitions of "fire in the belly," you’ll often find it described as a strong determination to succeed, emotional stamina, and an intense drive to achieve or accomplish something. These definitions highlight a particular kind of fire, focused on personal goals, winning, or attaining power and glory. They don't tell the whole story, especially for those driven by values and principles (how and why) more than outcomes (what) For many sensitive people, the fire in their belly is not about achieving for the sake of achieving. It's not the pursuit of bigger, better, faster, or stronger in a conventional sense. Personal achievements matter, but they are often most compelling when they resonate with a broader purpose or have a meaningful impact on the world around them. Dampening The Belly Fire The fire in our belly can go missing when we seek safe, predictable, and comfortable ways to navigate life. For example, the desire to avoid conflict can cause that fire to dim or even disappear over time. Feeling Too Much For highly sensitive individuals, the inconvenience their passions might cause others can feel too jarring, especially when there’s a perceived incompatibility with others’ views, values, or beliefs. The fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection can be a powerful motivator to keep that fire hidden. Standing up for something we care deeply about can feel risky when it threatens to create friction with those around us. This fear can lead to the suppression of our inner fire, keeping it tucked away where it feels safer but also less alive. The Role of Perfectionism Perfectionism is another factor that can dampen the fire in our belly. When we express our passions, we open ourselves up to the uncertainty and unpredictability of creativity. There’s a vulnerability in allowing our fire to rise, in letting it breathe and take form, because we can never be sure what might come from it. The desire for perfection can keep us from taking those risks, leading us to stifle our fire rather than face the unknown. The Impact of Cold Buckets of Water And when others throw cold buckets of water—through criticism or dismissive comments—it can make us hesitant to let our fire show again. Caroline McGraw’s shared how an offhand remark snuffed out her passion as a child. It's a reminder that the wrong words at a vulnerab...

Welcome to The Gentle Rebel Podcast, where we explore the intersection of high sensitivity, creativity, and culture. In this episode, we take a creative lens to the phrase “Let’s leave it there,” inspired by a recent live Kota gathering in The Haven. This simple prompt opened up a rich bucket of ideas, and I'd love to share a few of the layers we started peeling back. Inspired By An Old Ironing Board It began with an old ironing board that I noticed outside someone's house on an evening stroll. It sparked a chain of thoughts: Who left it there? How did it end up there? Who is it for? My walk was consumed by thoughts of the many potential ways to look at the phrase, “Let’s leave it there”. As well as physical objects like ironing boards and root vegetables (don't ask) we often use to signal the end of something—a project, an argument, a meeting. It’s a way of acknowledging that we’ve reached a natural stopping point or closing something down, even if it's unresolved. Creativity and Patience In our Kota gathering, we explored how these words apply to creativity—for example, setting conditions for desirable habits and practices to happen without constantly tweaking and meddling. Being patient and trusting the process can be challenging when primed to expect instant results. However, impatience can lead to unnecessary tinkering, which might sabotage the natural rhythms and pace. Whilst "build it, and they will come" is not always true, we can create conditions (in suitable environments) that make the desirable thing a simpler and easier option. Creative Ecosystems We also discussed the joy of making creativity accessible. Leaving tools and materials out, ready to use, can make a huge difference. It's less likely to occur to us to play with something in its case and tidied away than if it's obvious and available. Sharing and Letting Go It can be hard to leave it there when it comes to sharing our creative endeavours with the world. We talked about literally leaving things in spaces for others to find, like hiding tiny storybooks, drawings, or poems in public places for people to discover and pass on. Leave It There - Enough is Enough Finally, we talked about knowing when to stop and trust the process. There are moments when, even though we might not feel ready, we know at a deeper level that we've done enough. We need to trust the part of us that made that decision and avoid the temptation to open up and run it "one last time", especially from a state of anxiety or fear, which might lead to new mistakes and unnecessary bonus panic. If any ideas we explored in this episode speak to you and you'd like to dive deeper with me, you can book a Pick The Lock call. If you'd like to peel back the layers on future prompts with me and our gentle hive of like-spirited folk, I'd love you to join us in The Haven.

Even if you aren’t aware of its particular elements, you are familiar with the hero’s journey. It underpins many of our favourite stories, used in PR and marketing, and informs the narratives around sports and celebrities. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I explore the personal and cultural impact of the hero's journey. We'll explore how it shapes self-worth, personal value, and the pursuits we deem meaningful. By contrasting it with elements of Kishōtenketsu narrative structure, which Kendra Patterson helped us explore in our recent Courtyard workshop, we will begin to consider different ways to perceive and respond to life's unexpected events. The Hero's Journey Archetype Joseph Campbell suggested that all mythic narratives throughout history and across cultures are variations of the same story—a hero's journey archetype. This concept picked up mainstream momentum in the 70s and 80s, after it influenced George Lucas in creating Star Wars. This was a tipping point for the monomyth, as it started to PRODUCE culture rather than deriving FROM culture. In other words, it went from being a description of the patterns Campbell concluded (cultures tell stories with similar archetypes) to a prescriptive model (here are the universal elements for telling a story). The textbooks started flowing and the hero's journey became ubiquitous. We see it in fields of psychology, marketing, and personal braining as well as books, TV, and film (including documentary-making). In this episode, I explore some of the implications of using the hero's journey to frame, perceive, and judge ourselves. We will spot some examples in culture. Including England's recent Euro 2024 disappointment, the story of Diana Nyad's swim from Cuba to Florida, and the tropes we see in some of our favourite TV shows. My intention isn't simply to poop on the party. But rather to become more sensitive to the hero's journey. When we recognise it, we can choose whether it's useful to us or not. We can then spot it being used to manipulate us into spending money, energy, and trust on bad actors. We will consider Kishōtenketsu as an alternative way of relating to the story we embody and tell with our lives. Rather than using conflict as a necessity for change, what happens when we relegate it to tangential and contingent parts of life that we choose our response to instead? In the episode, we consider: Ways the hero's journey creates a conflict with reality as its source of meaning How the hero's journey structure has become embedded in marketing and PR Why I get frustrated at the types of pitches I am often sent by people wanting to appear as guests on the podcast The unrealistic expectations the hero's journey sets and its impact on self-judgment and societal pressures The role of conflict in Kishōtenketsu compared with a hero's journey How highly sensitive people might get subsumed into other peoples' hero's journeys (using the movie, Nyad as an example of this) Kishōtenketsu, through a "guy walks into a bar" joke by TB Mckenzie, demonstrates how this narrative structure uses conflict as a tangential element rather than a central premise Links Listen to Kendra's episode about calming effects of Kishōtenketsu on Stepping Off Now Learn more about the Haven Courtyard workshop For further reading on Kishōtenketsu, check out Adeline Bindra's article. https://youtu.be/5vIKpOsIrP4

Each of us has a unique sense of adventure. What does yours feel like? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Sarah Lister, who runs About The Adventure, a career and life coaching business that helps people connect with what brings them to life as they navigate change. I love Sarah's approach to this topic and how she holds each person's needs within their unique spirit of adventure. The deer that delightfully derailed Sarah's sunset photographing quest one evening A Sense of Adventure Use this episode as an opportunity to reflect on the distinct elements that make up your personal sense of adventure. We explored the potential characteristics of adventure. For Sarah, it involves nature, spontaneity, a sense of challenge, and being somewhere out of the ordinary. But it also carries the openness to pause and breathe, to have the courage to stop walking and respond to the invitation of a particular moment. Whether it's stopping for a cup of tea with strangers or delaying a trek to photograph an unexpected deer on the hillside. There are a lot of juicy metaphors for life in this conversation and stuff worth reflecting on if you want to live a meaningful life. Recognising Our Sense of Adventure We might think of the "sense of adventure" as we think about a "sense of humour". While it's not a direct physical sense like touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing, it's something personal that keeps us in touch with what it means to feel alive and be ourselves. Adventure is not simply about the thrill of the unknown but also about our relationship with perceived possibilities, obstacles, and the creative potential we see in the path ahead. It's a key ingredient in living with a compelling sense of meaning. In our conversation, Sarah and I talk about: How to find adventure in the landscapes and environments around us Sarah's relationship with adventure and times in her life when her adventurous spirit shrunk The threads between imagination, daydreaming, and adventure When Sarah thought she was having fun but really was lost, and how she found her sense of self again Why adventure doesn't need an end goal, destination, or quest attached to it The role of safety in a successful adventure (and how we can increase confidence amid uncertainty by carrying the right resources with us) How to keep the adventure going even when the particular journey ends And more... Over to You What would you include in your list of adventure elements? Let me know by leaving a comment, sending a message, or contacting me via social media. Links About The Adventure (Sarah's Website) Sarah's Instagram The Haven A Blimp from the Blue: Using The Kishōtenketsu Story Structure as an Antidote to the Hero’s Journey (Courtyard Workshop with Kendra Patterson) Atlum Schema - Year 0 https://youtu.be/jmA25xe8Aso

Have you ever been derailed by a shame attack? Shame can sweep through, telling us we are not worthy, acceptable, or enough. It can be amplified by comparisonitis, where we judge our messy insides with our perception of other peoples’ shiny exteriors. Val Nelson, a career and business coach, specialises in working with highly sensitive and introverted individuals. She wrote this article about dealing with comparisonitis and shame attacks, which I was excited to dive into with her. Many people have felt like black swans in a world that often fails to provide the right conditions for HSPs to thrive. While shame is not exclusive to quiet and gentle souls, it can be particularly challenging for those who have learned to view their natural needs and preferences as a problem to hide, dismiss, or overcome. So I invited Val onto The Gentle Rebel Podcast to explore how shame can cause us to shrink back and hide from their dreams, ambitions, and needs. I wanted to explore the words "comparisonitis" and "comparonoia," which can leave us feeling isolated and alone as we look at the world around us and tell ourselves unsupportive stories. In Our Conversation, Val and I Explore: The nature of shame attacks and the signs of one appearing How humour and playfulness are one of our most significant resources Why it's so hard to give ourselves what we need in the face of shame (even when we know what we ought to do) Personal experiences of shame attacks Val and I have been through recently How to listen to the message beneath the noise when we feel like things are not going to plan What it means to take ourselves less seriously (without undermining the integrity of our work) Over to You What are you taking away from this episode? Have you experienced a shame attack? I'd love to hear from you in the comments, via a message, or through social media. Links Val's website Connect with Val on Linkedin Would you like to strengthen your defences in the face of bubbling shame attacks and "comparanoia"? If so, I would love to help you develop a strategy to use through a Pick The Lock call.

I've had a consistent journaling habit for twelve years. I use a digital journal (Day One), which has worked well for me. But I realised earlier this year that my practice has become a bit stale and uninspiring. So, I wanted to breathe new life into it. Mandy Thompson joined us in The Haven Courtyard recently. She led a workshop exploring how to build a vibrant and strong journaling habit that works for each of us as individuals. We wanted the workshop to help breathe life into a journal habit, no matter where you're currently at with it. Maybe you want to start a journal but struggle to get going Perhaps you journal occasionally but don’t maintain the consistency you desire You might feel stuck in a rut with your journal and in need of a fresh approach In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I explore why I choose to journal the way I do (and what I want to change in my practice). Building a Journal Habit Together Mandy shared some tools, tips, and techniques to help us start, maintain, or rejuvenate a vibrant and strong journaling habit. But as with any habit, it’s not always easy to put the theory into practice. This is why I’ve scheduled four "Creative Journal Circle" sessions in The Haven every Friday throughout July. These will provide space for encouragement, accountability, and inspiration. The sessions are for those who want to build momentum with their journal habit. We can share how we’re getting on, encourage one another, and try a simple exercise together. So even if we haven’t added anything to our journal all week, we won’t finish it empty paged. The Haven trial period has increased to 28 days, so it's the perfect time to come and dip your toes in. You will get access to the Creative Journal Circle (and other gatherings), and have chance to look at the other resources available to members. Learn more here.

Lizzie Campbell is a polymer clay artist who creates under the name Clay Disarray, and wow, she's phenomenal! Her intricate modelling brings characters and cultural figures to life, and it is mesmerising to see. I discovered Lizzie through a YouTube video in which she delved into the challenges artists face today. Her unique perspective as a highly sensitive and autistic artist sheds light on the struggles many artists are currently grappling with, such as the impact of COVID-19, the cost-of-living crisis, artificial intelligence, social media algorithms, and Brexit. Inspired by her gentle tone and wisdom, I invited Lizzie to the Gentle Rebel Podcast to delve deeper into these issues and learn more about her journey with art, creativity, and neurodivergence. https://youtu.be/-t6kzkexYcc We Explored A Bunch of Topics Including: How Lizzie got into polymer clay modelling Why she takes inspiration from horror movies The relationship between creativity and neurodiversity, including high sensitivity and autism Why HSPs might be reluctant to think of themselves as creative The challenges for artists in a post-Covid, post-Brexit world Some of the stranger ways AI is posing a problem for professional creative people and artists Why the fan art community receives criticism Why social media algorithms can make it harder for artists to connect with the right people How we can support our favourite artists (and keep sustaining the arts) in the modern world Over to You What are your thoughts on this episode? I'd love to hear from you. Share your insights by leaving a comment, sending a message, or reaching out to me on social media. Links Lizzie's website Lizzie's YouTube Channel Twitter | Mastodon | Instagram What Were They Thinking? My AI Music Video Patreon

In this special episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I'm thrilled to unveil the first issue of Coming To Our Senses. This online audio/visual zine for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) is an immersive exploration of the intersection of high sensitivity, creativity, and culture. The zine's launch coincides with the 10th Anniversary of The Haven, which started in June 2014. While it looked pretty different back then, its underlying essence has always been the same - providing a space for gentle rebels to gather and grow together. I hope that Coming To Our Senses will become an ongoing collaborative heartbeat of our community. It reflects the spirit of The Haven, with members providing inspiration, suggestions, and creative contributions to the content. https://youtu.be/OBS6AMGdBfU Why a Zine For HSPs? The underlying vision is to integrate and normalise high sensitivity in everyday life. I want to create space to slow down and show how highly sensitive lenses offer a valuable and transformative way of seeing and holding ourselves, one another, and the culture we swim in. But also to invite a playful spirit that helps us hold on to life with lightness and humour. I firmly believe that by creating an environment that allows sensitivity to flourish and express itself, we can catalyse profound personal and societal transformation. This approach to change is not a grand, booming endeavour, but a subtle, infectious one. As we embrace our own sensitivity, we naturally grant others permission to come to their own senses, leading to new ways of seeing, feeling, and engaging with the world that reflect their unique sensitivity and potential. I'm currently unsure how often I will publish the Coming To Our Senses zine. My initial desire is monthly, but every two or three months might be more sustainable. All editions (and versions) are available to download in The Haven membership. Non-members can read and listen to the latest issue here. The First Issue of Coming To Our Senses You can hear the first issue (Tranquility) in this Gentle Rebel Podcast episode. Read the written edition here, and watch the video/audio version on YouTube. I hope you enjoy it! I'd love to know what you connect with and would potentially like more of in this zine of HSPs. Leave a comment or drop me a message. And if you like it, please do share it with others!

As a highly sensitive multipotentialite, Yvonne Kjorlien has many creative interests, passions, and pursuits. She studies scattered and scavenged remains to help increase the recovery rate of human remains in outdoor contexts, enabling law enforcement personnel to close forensic cases and provide closure for families. She is also an author, blogger (The Reluctant Archeologist) and writing coach for those bringing new work into the world. I was inspired by the multifaceted nature of Yvonne's personal and professional interests and invited her to join me to explore them in this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast. This one is for you if you naturally gravitate towards various pursuits and what others might describe as diversions. It can be liberating to hear from people who have connected unexpected dots and forged new pathways based on what brings them to life rather than what socialised stories tell them to do. I hope this conversation will bring you peace, encouragement, and inspiration. https://youtu.be/OwMmPcg-8Zo Yvonne and I dug into a whole range of topics, including: How to be a multipotentialite (holding a range of interests and pursuits) in a world that wants to put you in a box Why labels can be a help and hindrance when making our way in the world How subverting labels taps into a primal sense of risk (and can make others uncomfortable) What it means to dig and excavate our stories in a healthy and exciting way How we might recognise the messages our body is sending in response to opportunities, requests, and stimuli The power of asking why (and doing it in a way that opens us up rather than closing us down) Over to You What are you taking away from this episode? Are you a multipotentialite? Let me know by leaving a comment, sending a message, or contacting me via social media. Links Yvonne's Website The Reluctant Archaeologist Blog Memoirs of a Reluctant Archaeologist (book) Follow Yvonne on Instagram

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Margarit Davtian who is a consumer rights activist, social scientist, and "cult slayer". She exposes deceptive marketing practices, cult psychology, and New-Age conspirituality trends in the coaching industry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjxP30X9Asg& Margarit, one of the founders of Ethics For Coaching, helps individuals seeking support in life coaching, business consulting, and self-help industries—the project shields against grifters and scammers who exploit vulnerable positions with undeliverable promises and unethical practices. Ethics for Coaching's mission is to educate, support, mediate, and raise awareness, giving consumers the power to make more informed choices. They aim to be a reassuring presence in an industry that can sometimes be hyped up, confusing, and misleading. As you will know if you've been listening for a while, this is an area I am increasingly passionate about. I have seen bad actors take advantage of the trust and hope of good people, who have been convinced to spend ridiculous amounts of money on "high ticket offers" that promise the world and deliver disappointment. Calling Out Multilevel Marketing Scams and Coaching Cults I believe that coaching is a fantastic tool that can help us unpick challenges and find clearer ways forward in a desirable direction. So it's frustrating to see so many horror stories of its manipulative misuse by bad actors. I hope this conversation contributes in some small way to highlighting signs of a multilevel marketing scams and coaching cults so we can all distinguish between good and bad practices and make more informed decisions about what we are looking for and what a particular person is offering. Margarit and I delve into the Four Pillars of Ethical Coaching. These are beneficial not only for coaches but also for clients, who should understand what to expect from the coaches they work with. The Elements of Ethical Coaching Include: Clear expectations and outcomes Be collaborative, non-judgemental, and willing to accept feedback as a coach Deliver on your promises (and promise no more than you can deliver) Communicate with clarity and honesty Don't use scarcity and urgency marketing tactics Don't use mindset manipulation tactics to overcome objections No high-pressure selling Understand potential sources of emotional/psychological harm Don't use coercive control (e.g. programming fears/phobias or using thought-terminating cliches) Commit to establishing competence and maintaining professional boundaries Establish contracting between coach and client Be open about areas of knowledge and expertise (and what is beyond your scope) State and clarify objectives and outcomes Testimonials should only be used with explicit permission No coercive conditions for joining a program (e.g. you MUST share a positive testimonial) Make relevant qualifications, certifications, and credentials known Include refunds, plagiarism, risk management plan (how a client knows what to do when they have a concern) Want to Know More About Ethics For Coaching? They are looking for coaches who are passionate about this stuff to continue the work they've started. Find Margarit on Instagram and YouTube Conscious Revolution Podcast | Substack

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I talk about some things that came out of our conversation in The Haven around the prompt, "I can't wait". What do you struggle to wait for? https://youtu.be/sAeb-3AlzhI There are many angles from which we can look at these words. What comes to mind for you? Maybe you can't wait for something to arrive. Perhaps you can't wait for it to be over. Or maybe you get tetchy or anxious when you're forced to wait. I Can't Wait... For the next episode. For kick-off. To feel better. Around. To get on the road. To get this over with. To get there. …it makes me testy. To see you. For this to start. For this to end. To leave. For the lunch break. To go. …it makes me anxious. To get home. …I need to keep myself busy. What else comes to mind for you? In The Episode, I Explore: Patience and Impatience (rushing into decisions that naturally take time) Excitement and possibility (allowing ourselves to look forward) Pausing to check vs checking ourselves (highly sensitive people might respond more slowly AND quickly to stimuli) How the impermanence of things can help us be more peaceful in the present, and less likely to wish away time The power of anticipation, expectancy, and bad endings Join the conversation in The Haven: https://the-haven.co https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzDsxewUa5s&

Over the past few years, there have been a bunch of developments in sensitivity research. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share some reflections on the Second International Conference on Sensitivity Research. It was organised by Michael Pluess, Francesca Lionetti, and Corina Greven through The University of Surrey. In all honesty, academic presentations aren't really my cup of tea. My mind drifts too easily. But I munched on bananas and persevered because I really think this stuff matters...I was helped by the recorded replay too. So I hope this episode helps others who are interested in the essence of sensory processing sensitivity research right now. https://youtu.be/FkGsvdA3htw “If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else." - Douglas Adams I want to understand these developments, so I'm taking on a challenge; to piece together what I've learned from the research and explain it as best as possible. A lot of information was packed into three hours, and I have tried to grasp as much of it as possible. But I very much welcome those with more expertise to help clarify, contradict, or correct any misunderstandings. The full text version of my conference summary is available here. The Sensitivity Research Presentations: Highly Sensitive Children in the School Context (Jenni Kähkönen) High Sensory Processing Sensitivity: Blessing or Challenge? (Veronique de Gucht) - here's the SPS Monitor Questionnaire Genetics of Environmental Sensitivity and its Association with Mental Health and Wellbeing (Elham Assary) Sensitivity and Overstimulation (Sofie Weyn) Attentional Capture and Sensitivity (Robert Marhenke) Effects of Sensitivity and Childhood Family Conflict on Objective Stress Responding (Sophia Bibb) Measurements of Sensitivity (Panel Discussion) Over to You Did anything surprise you in the research? Are there any areas or topics that you would love to see researchers explore in the future? If you'd like to clarify or correct anything, please do share a comment below. And if you fancy chatting with me about anything mentioned in the episode, I'd love to hear from you. Drop me a message. The music you will hear in the episode is a piece I wrote as I was piecing the show together. Writing music gives me breathing space when I need to reflect on, understand, and retain information without looking directly at it. Here is the whole track (the video is of a train that went past when I was waiting for mine about an hour before the conference "started". https://youtu.be/lzDsxewUa5s

Can Artificial Intelligence help us embrace, explore, and celebrate our human creativity and sensory sensitivity even MORE deeply? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Marc Winn about the impact of generative AI on our creative spirit. We step beyond the unhelpful binary debates that tend to view the complex tangle of technology adoption as all good or all bad. We begin with the most important starting question: What do we want to use it for? And how can it help us become more human, more playful, more attuned to our senses, and less mechanical and robotic? https://youtu.be/TjGD4kWjGbw How Can Artificial Intelligence Help Us Become More Human? Marc has dedicated the past 14 years to helping people find their way in a rapidly changing world. He focuses on AI and how embracing it isn't just about technology—it's about people. Through AI Adoption groups, Strategy Days, and long-term Partnerships, he focuses on the human side of digital transformation. Marc is also the author of The 50 Coffee Adventure: A Fun, Light and Easy Way to Build Connections—One Magical Conversation at a Time. In the episode, Marc and I Discuss: The role generative AI can play in giving people who have always struggled simple ways to express themselves Why art is deeply misunderstood (and often overlooked) in its role in changing the world How art has a role to play in helping us meet the significant challenges of our time The link between burning out and building things in other peoples' image rather than your own (and what it means to live from that authentic place within us) Why Marc believes you have more of a chance of changing someone's life by making mistakes rather than delivering perfection Fears and hopes about the post-consumption age of creativity and how mass participation will become a new normal How AI supports and can enhance creativity (rather than replace it) I enjoyed this conversation a lot. It gave me a fresh perspective on things I hadn't considered before. Over to You What were your takeaways? How do you feel about this stuff? Share your response in the comments or drop me a message. Marc's Links Book a Coffee with Marc Moving Fast Together - The Human Side of AI Adoption (Marc's Presentation) 45 Minutes of Marc's Life That Got Out of Hand Marc's Website | Marc's Blog

If you're a freelancer or solo practitioner, you likely need to wear many different hats to keep your business going. It can be tiring and confusing at times. An understandable trend in the age of algorithmic social media is people donning the social media marketing hat more and more, sometimes at the expense of their core craft. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I chat with my friend, Adam Kawalec. He explains what he means when he says he's a coach, not a marketer or social media influencer. He describes how he's intentionally built his business through word-of-mouth referrals and relationship marketing. https://youtu.be/JpViYWqPN7w?si=4KcI4tj8PjFq_jcS In our conversation, Adam demonstrated what happens when we shift our focus from persuasion, traffic, and engagement to depth, connection, and potency. The invitation to find more meaningful, gentle, and person-centred ways of building a sustainable business left me feeling hopeful and enriched. This goes against the growing trend where the drive for social media influence trumps professional training and development. This is why I wanted to speak with Adam about the ethicality of coaching and how to remain focused as a coach not a marketer. Ethics For Coaches and Marketers It's a companion to the episode with Megan Malone when we considered the cost of reputation damage to coaching as a trained skillset due to a series of documentaries and exposés highlighting nefarious, manipulative, and abusive practices performed by people calling themselves coaches. It often happens when the focus on developing skills as a coach is gradually eroded and replaced by marketing and sales. During our discussion, Adam mentioned the Ethics For Coaching project. It's a crucial initiative to educate consumers and support coaches in practising their craft with integrity, safety, inclusivity, and professionalism. This project's four pillars serve as a guide, highlighting red flags to watch out for and expectations you can have with a safe and competent coach. Much of it speaks to the question of whether someone is a competent coach or simply a persuasive marketer. Stay tuned for my conversation with Margarit Davtian, a board member of EFC and a consumer rights expert, who sheds light on the project's mission and her role in it. In the episode, Adam and I explore: Why marketing doesn't have to feel like marketing when you approach it in the right way Ways coaching differs depending on the setting (and the stakeholders) The difference between traffic marketing vs relationship marketing Ethical responsibilities when marketing and practising as a coach The importance of slowing down if you want to speed things up What it means to be truly remarkable, and how to be so good they can't ignore you Finding the sweet spot in your daily rhythm to commit to growing without burning out Over to You What are your thoughts on the topics we discussed? I'm eager to hear your takeaways. Feel free to share your comments or drop me a message. Connect with Adam Website: https://adamkawalec.com/ Inside The Comfort Zone Podcast

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we delve into the intriguing concept of voice, the third element of our creative spirit that we've been looking at recently. Check out the episodes on Sound and Noise if you haven't already done so. What do we mean when we talk about creative voice? Is it something we are born with or something we develop? https://youtu.be/cUpv9_mrik0 Character is inadvertently forged in our workshops of adversity.Performance is intentionally forged in our workshops of necessity.Voice is the taste we leave for others.Character can be flexible or brittle.Performance is a wall or a window.Voice is sweet or bitter. I intuitively wrote down those words when preparing and attempted to untangle their meaning during the episode. Other Things I Explore In The Episode: How art transcends anyone else's desire for it Ways we lose our voice in the pressure to fulfil, please, and satisfy an external demand Voice isn't easy to describe, and it can't be contrived Performance as shaping, forging, fabricating, embodying (and how performance can be a window or a wall - deepening or alienating our relationship with our voice) Mr Rogers described Voice as "something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person." Ways to find your voice after losing it What other people can tell us about the sound of our voice So, what does voice mean to you? I'd love to read your reflections. Share them in the comments or drop me a message. The Fireside Membership | Sound, Noise, Voice The Fireside Membership offers a unique opportunity to step back from life's distractions and disturbances. It's a place to reconnect with who you are and consider how you would love your life to look in the future. The membership materials, between session reflection questions, and personalised coaching calls are designed to support you in your endeavours. Whether you have a particular challenge you want to overcome, a project you would love to complete, or you're looking for a clear way forward. I designed the program to help you come home to your innate creative spirit and accomplish your aims on YOUR terms and in YOUR way.

The noise we encounter can significantly impact how we perceive the world and what we believe about it. This can be multiplied tenfold for sensitive types who naturally absorb and respond to subtle environmental shifts and sensory disturbances. So, how do we learn to acknowledge and address the noise that can otherwise derail and distract us? I explore that question in this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, which follows from last week's exploration of personal sound and the idea of "coming to our senses." https://youtu.be/elTJHlIUslk The Difference Between Noise and Buzz Buzz is not a technical term, but it helps us differentiate different types of external stimulation. In the episode, I discuss how noise disturbs the senses, diminishing our capacity to enjoy while buzz enriches the experience, adding to the atmosphere and energy. Distinguishing between noise and buzz helps us gauge whether an environment supports our objectives and desires in any given moment. We might recognise how the same stimulation can be met differently by people. For example, some find silence distracting and seek sensory input to create a buzz to concentrate, while others lose focus if anything is happening around them. This highlights the subjective nature of these perceptions, which requires understanding and negotiation, especially in shared spaces like open-plan offices and living environments. Sources of Noise Noise reaches us through our senses, our thinking, and bodily sensations. We can perceive and feel disturbances in many ways and from various sources, some more overt than others. Sensory Noise Sensory noise is stimulation that directly enters our senses: noisy sounds, tastes, smells, touch, sights etc. Input becomes noisy when our ability to process sensory data or receive information through other senses is impaired. Cognitive Noise We might not notice how noisy our thoughts are when we are habituated to an overthinking mind. Thoughts might include the voice of the inner critic and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, one another, and the state of the world. Digital Noise I wasn't sure where to put mobile technology but it certainly belongs on this list. In fact, we might find it under every item. But rather than being a direct noise source, it tends to act as an amplifier for many other noise sources. The phone brings sensory noise through the sights and sounds of relentless news feeds and reels. It can also amplify cognitive noise, triggering internal judgements based on comparisons as we glimpse images, videos, and updates flying past our eyes, not to mention exposure to the relentless flood of real-time information that we wouldn't get in such abundant volume without technology. Cultural Noise Current events, news stories, and social trends flow into our conscious awareness from outside. They take up capacity for thinking and feeling and become noise when we don't have a creative outlet to process and release them. Cultural noise also flows through the values and beliefs we absorb from society and judge ourselves by. Somatic/Physical Noise We might feel noisiness in our physical beings. It can be experienced as pain, tension, tightness, aches, throbs, tenderness, etc. On the one hand it is where we might hold unprocessed thoughts, emotions, and experiences. But on the other hand, it can also become a source of noise itself. Emotional Noise Unacknowledged and unprocessed emotional responses to environments, situations, encounters, and experiences can build up inside us as noise. The louder they get, the more they influence our perception of reality. What We Hear is How We See I use the role of music in film and TV to highlight this. There are some fantastic examples of how music can completely change what you believe you are seeing in front of you. Check out these examples: The Power of Music in Film Breaking Bad The Sitcom

We can lose connection with our "sound" if we experience over-empathy, people-pleasing, and an "I'm OK if you're OK" filter. This can happen if the nervous system learns to perceive danger and safety by taking responsibility for the well-being and reactions of people (and things) it can't control. Our creative spirit gets stifled when these patterns settle into our systems. It gets harder to locate our preferences, opinions, and desires. And choices become filtered through their potential social consequences rather than their intrinsic value and importance to us. Creative spirit has three core elements: sound, noise, and voice. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we explore the role of sound in each of us and how we can find our way home if we're out of connection. What does it mean to have a personal sound? Why does it matter? How does it feel? Where is it? How do we find it? What causes us to lose connection with it? As thinking, feeling, and consciously self-aware creatures, creative spirit flows through our very beingness. It is the invitation to shift the trajectory from what would have happened without us into what COULD happen with us. It stems from the faintest aromas and grows through the slightest cracks of light. While voice is how we express ourselves in the world, our sound is how we perceive, sense, and notice the world. Sound is the intuitive, creative instincts that precede the interference and noise that clouds it out. In this episode, we will consider how to attune to this natural and personal part of our being as humans. Coming To Our Senses We often talk about someone coming to their senses when they return to sensible compliance and conformity with how they ought to act, think, and approach things. Sometimes, this is necessary, but often, it's a way to keep our sound hidden. It keeps our creative spirit squashed and unable to breathe. Truly coming to our senses is about recognising our first perceptions, noticing what we notice, including what we are drawn towards and away from before the noisy filters kick in. Filters like social pressures, expectations, and cultural injunctions leave us doing, chasing, and valuing things that don't matter to us and fearing, avoiding, and hiding from the things that do. If This Isn't Nice, I Don't Know What Is Kurt Vonnegut's uncle Alex had a saying: "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." He says, "What Uncle Alex found objectionable about so many human beings is that they would seldom notice when they were happy." Happiness is a fleeting encounter with something that catches the sleeve of our attention and brings us into harmony with the moment. The mind isn't caught up in rumination and worry. It is present, aware, and alive. It can't be experienced anywhere or anytime other than here and now. We connect with our sound when we pause to say, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." In her book Anchored, Deb Dana says that "glimmers are all around us, but from a state of protection, they are very hard to find." For many sensitive souls who have developed deep defensive patterns that seek safety by avoiding threats, it can be challenging to notice glimmers. When our nervous systems are stressed, busy, or numb, we are less attuned to the points of connection around us. Catching Our Sleeve On Our Sound In his book Several Short Sentences About Writing, Verlyn Klinkenborg writes: “Is it possible to practice noticing?I think so. But I also think it requires a suspension of yearning. And a pause in the desire to be pouring something out of yourself.Noticing is about letting yourself out into the world,Rather than siphoning the world into you…Noticing means thinking with all your senses.So what is noticing?A pinpoint of awareness,The detail that stands out amid all the details.It’s catching your sleeve on the thorn of the thing youNotice” What catches your sleeve?

Where does your mind go when you read the phrase, "The money changed everything"? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I want to share points from our recent Haven discussion when we used this prompt to chat and play. Where did the money come from? What difference did it make? Before our gathering, I stumbled on an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents called "Reward to Finder". The story is about Carl, who finds some money in a gutter on his way home from work. Instead of returning it to its rightful owner (in exchange for an unspecified reward), as he promised his wife, Anna, he keeps it hidden in his attic. Eventually, Anna discovers that he is counting the money and demands a share. She threatens to go to the police if Carl doesn't comply. As she spends the money, the situation escalates. Ultimately, they both decide to take action. This changes everything. It was like poison; it got into our bloodstream.Normal life became something obscene.We couldn’t see straight. I lost you in the haze.Neighbours hear banging through the walls of this doorless maze.A dark cloud hanging like a fur coat.In limbo, awaiting the verdict. Words inspired by Reward to Finder The story highlights a familiar scenario we may have encountered in various situations. The arrival of money can often trigger possessiveness, control, greed, and envy, causing relationships to crumble. This can happen dramatically, as depicted in the story, or gradually over time. Over time, resentments build up, stories take hold in the characters' minds, beliefs shift, values change, and people stop seeing people. Instead, they see obstacles, hindrances, opportunities, and gold mines. But perhaps, instead of bringing about fundamental changes, money reveals what was already there. But The Money Can Make a Positive Difference It was interesting to notice how my personal response to the prompt had a negative flavour. This attitude might be called "Why does money always ruin good things?" There are many examples of this. But I wanted to explore how money can positively change everything. That would be the first place people go in response to the prompt. An unexpected gift that took the pressure off or saved the day, approval for the loan that got the business off the ground, or the grant that transformed the community. What Would You Choose To Do If Money Wasn't an Obstacle? What Would You Choose To Do If Money Wasn't an Obstacle? is a classic coaching question. But it's also an interesting one to dissect. The responses seem to vary depending on whether having a vision precedes the availability of funds or vice versa. On one hand, we may ask, "What is something you would love to do but can't due to a lack of resources?" Perhaps there is a particular project you would love to undertake, a place you would like to visit, or changes you would like to make. In other words, if you had the money, you would know exactly what to spend it on. For me, it's finishing my album. Incidentally, if you have £5000 lying around (or know someone who does), gimme a shout! The other way of reading the question is, "If you suddenly came into a chunk of money, what would you do with it?" It's the "What would you do if you won the lottery?" question. Responses tend to be more vague. We would "probably" buy this or that, replace some stuff, give it away, or invest it. The possibilities are broader, but they are also potentially less focused. A Highly Sensitive Drive To Enable There was a thread in our discussion as we imagined the difference money could make in enabling desirable stuff to emerge in the world around us. Once the bills are taken care of and there's enough yarn to knit with, we might look beyond our personal situation and into families, neighbourhoods, and communities, where money could change things for good. Unconditional Giving This opened a conversation about gifts. Some people love giving but are uncomfortable receivi...

Adam Grant explores how our practice can lead to boreout in Hidden Potential. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I dive into this idea and reflect on the role of playfulness in maintaining our motivation with the things that matter most. We consider the distinctions between burnout and boreout and delve into the contrast between obsession and passion. I ask how the demands and pace of hustle culture might lead to chronic boredom. We look at why we need not stress about discovering our purpose and passion despite the societal messages we are bombarded with. "It is neither work nor play, purpose nor purposelessness that satisfies us. It is the dance between." - Bernard de Koven Boreout is the emotional deadening you feel when you’re under-stimulated to the point of disconnection. But it might also occur when we are chronically overstimulated and unable to pause between life's ceaseless bombardment of noise. Practice and Boreout Boreout is a phenomenon that often arises when we lose our sense of purposeful connection and intrinsic joy with the task at hand. When it comes to practice, it can turn into an obsessive slog rather than a meaningful journey towards progress and growth. Deliberate play isn't about avoiding work. It's about shifting our mentality and seeing how potential can be reached sustainably by finding ways to playfully engage in practice, learning, and growth. "You're not supposed to enjoy it; it's piano practice!" We fall into a trap with certain endeavours. We believe that practice ought to feel like a slog. This leads us to stories of forbidden fun. Some things are meant to feel like punishment. However, Adam Grant refers to a study conducted on renowned concert pianists, which revealed most of them practised the piano for just an hour a day during their early years, and they weren't raised by controlling and dominating drill sergeants. Their passion ignited, and their parents and teachers gave them the conditions to maintain their motivation and enthusiasm. They practised, not because they had to, but because they were interested. They enjoyed working with teachers to explore the craft more; excited, engaged and wanted to learn, improve, and practice. When we treat it as something we've just got to repeat and repeat, practice can lead to boreout. It can also extinguish passion and cause us to resent things that used to be exciting and joyful. In the episode, I also explore: Harmonious passion vs obsessive passion and which is more useful How my drum teachers used deliberate play to keep me on track with my exams Why a lack of creative coaching led me to quit a football team Similarities between burnout and boreout How it can be more relaxing to create than to do nothing Why overstimulation can leave us bored and disconnected The way algorithms overstimulate our senses with sameness - and how variety and difference are sources of energy and inspiration Collective boreout through cultural drift How uncertainty gives rise to creativity, passion, and play (and the danger of trying to avoid it) And more... Over to You So, what resonated for you in this episode? Leave a comment below or get in touch via social media or through my contact page.