We all talk about needing to connect with our kids, but often seem to misunderstand what that means or how to do that in more challenging situations or difficult emotions. This episode talks through ways to dip a toe in their emotions while also pulling them back with us into their window of tolerance.

See Me: really seeing what they're doing, showing interest; imitating play with younger kids
Hear Me: actively listening, listening without correction or judgment; giving space for real conversation
Feel Me: Joining the feeling, no matter what it is; attune to emotions without letting them take you over

To truly pull our kids out of negative emotions or behaviors we have to join them where they are, with a toe in our own regulation, and bring them back with us into our window of tolerance. They can't regulate their emotions just by us telling, punishing, or shaming them into calm.

Regulated does not equal calm!

Different kids have different connection needs. Some need BIG (play, dance, excitement) while others needs small (physical touch, snuggling, calm).
Most of the negative behaviors of our kids is a result of seeking connection or feeling disconnected from their adults. This is why we want to always ask ourselves, "Is this giving them the connection they need? And are there other ways I can give them connection that are more positive, healthy, and safe?"

Some ideas of activities that can promote connection:
Nightly meetings
Board Games
Dance parties
Nerf gun battles
Physical touch
Notes in lunch boxes
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