5 Things I Would Tell my Past Self

19-12-2022 • 21 mins

Have you ever said that you would love to turn back time, go back to the past and undo some choices you have made, and most importantly, give your past self some advice that would help him or her in their life.

What if you could avoid the trauma, tears, grief, disappointments, and shame.

What if you could be more confident, clear, self aware, and have more self esteem?

What if you could give your past self 5 pieces of advice that would help him or her and erase some of the trauma you have experience in your lifetime?

In the 20 years that I have been writing this blog I have never done this kind of article but I believe that it is time. I am not doing it from a place of regret, but from a place of acknowledgement of how far I have come and to have closure with the past. Because as I realize the lessons, blessings, and truth of the past I also complete the timeline and give myself closure so I no longer have to regret the past or anything that happened or did not happen.

So let’s go and as you read these 5 things that I would like to tell my past self, think about what you would tell your past self today.

1. Criticism and judgment are simply someone else’s opinion of you and can mirror their jealousy over who you are, your light, your gifts and talents, and your being.

I wish I had know this so many years ago, starting during my childhood, when I believed that it was my fault that someone took issue with what I did or said. had I considered that it was possible to ignore them, I would have not responded by dimming my light, trying to please them, or believing that I was in the wrong every time. I would have been more protective of myself rather than dismissing myself because it appeared that someone took issue with me.

Now criticism and jealousy were part of my family dynamic so taking a stand against it was not always possible when I was younger. I get that. But it was a possibility when I was older and I let myself be swayed, manipulated, and muted by it far too much and for far too long. And the jealousy came from people I wanted to love and accept me so instead of shielding myself from them and their energy, I tried to compensate for their jealousy by being less of myself. As you know, that doesn’t work. The result was that I turned away from my highest potential and opportunities that my well honed ‘jealousy radar’ knew would create another level of criticism and judgment. Until one day I decided that I was no longer going to do that. I was going to let my light shine no matter what anyone thought or said about it. And that is exactly what I would tell my past self – shine your light as brightly as possible, no matter what.

2. People will talk about you so give them something positive to talk about because there is nothing wrong with you.

This one is especially poignant for me because I was often the topic of looks and whispers as a child as I was physically handicapped by the vaccine induced paralysis that would change my life forever. The morning of November 22, 1963 I went to school a happy child who loved to learn and who wanted to become a ballerina. By that evening I was paralyzed from the neck down and the last thing I remember for the next week was lying on the back seat of my parents’ car looking at the stars in the sky.

When I awoke from a coma a week later I saw my parents and the doctor talking and heard the doctor say that I would never walk again. I was determined to prove him wrong and I did. But it did not happen for another 5 years. I was in the hospital for 2 years. No more school, no more ballet dreams, and no more walking or motion of any kind. It is truly a miracle that I can walk and move today although I have not fully recovered and never will.

After I was released from the hospital I had to be in a wheelchair because I still could not walk, I had no movement from the waist down. Eventually I could walk with braces that went from my hip to my ankle and were fastened to brown orthopedic shoes (no cute velvet mary jane shoes for me) and crutches. I was stared at a lot. It was unusual to see a handicapped child so people stared and whispered. I could hear them asking each other ‘what was wrong with me’. I grew to hate being looked at and that expanded to being the center of attention.

When I was in my corporate career I hated being the center of attention or in a situation where everyone was looking at me and yet I was often the lead in technical projects, in organizations, and in high level positions. I managed to perform because I had a strong work ethic, I loved my work, and I wanted to do well but it was hard. I was always in doubt about what people really thought about me and whether I was Ok or was there something wrong with me.

I would remind my past self that the brightest lights get noticed and that doesn’t mean there is something wrong.

3. Your dreams and visions are worthy of being your priority and should not be sacrificed for the benefit of others.

Read the rest of the article on the Enlighteninglife.com blog at this link.

Created, narrated, and produced by Jennifer Hoffman.

Artwork by Jennifer Hoffman.

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