Empowered AF

Mark Santiago

An Empowered man is one who communicates like a leader, sets boundaries that gets respect, knows who he is and what he wants...and owns his own sh*t. The Empowered AF podcast is designed to help men do just that in their marriage and life. Join entrepreneur, coach, and father Mark Santiago every week as he shares the secrets to stepping into your own empowerment as a man. Each week you’ll hear about taboo issues that hold back the modern-day man from knowing who he is, what he wants, and how to become the man he wants to be as a father, husband, and leader. read less
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Episodes

Ask Mark Anything
Feb 6 2024
Ask Mark Anything
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark engages in an impromptu "Ask Mark Anything" session, tackling a variety of questions. He delves into complex relationship issues, such as dealing with a partner's affair, overcoming codependency, and navigating a divorce. He also emphasizes the importance of self-healing, boundaries, and genuine communication in facing challenges, offering insights and guidance to anyone grappling with emotional turmoil and relationship struggles.Episode Summary:Navigating infidelity and confusion in a marriage. 0:03Mark explains that false positives are common in situations where a spouse has cheated, and the cheated partner may exhibit affectionate behavior towards their partner as a result of confusion and conflicting emotions.Mark advises a listener who is experiencing this situation to be patient and understanding, as it is normal for the cheated partner to go through a range of emotions and to take time to process their feelings.Infidelity and healing. 2:17Mark describes the process of healing from an affair as a "deep component" that requires self-reflection and personal growth.The responsibility of the person who has been cheated on is to work on their own healing and how to move forward, rather than trying to fix the other person.Mark acknowledges that you may not have put a gun to your wife's head to make her cheat, but you may have created an environment that contributed to that.Mark recognizes that men often struggle to open up about their emotions and deal with them in a healthy way.Communication during and after divorce. 6:38Communicate with your ex-wife as a neutral person, not a former partner or friend, to maintain boundaries and respect each other's space during a divorce.Mark shares his personal experience with moving on from a previous relationship and how he took the time to heal and come to a place of readiness for a new relationship.Mark advises others to prioritize healing and self-reflection before entering a new relationship, rather than rushing into it without proper closure and healing from past wounds.Grief, codependency, and confidence. 10:01Mark offers guidance on building confidence through self-reflection and identifying past wins.Mark discusses how men often struggle with codependency and losing confidence, leading to feelings of insecurity and a need to control.Mark emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation and honesty in addressing these issues.Personal growth and marriage reconciliation. 13:38Mark emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation and personal growth for men in marriages facing...
Be The Gift, Part 2
Jan 30 2024
Be The Gift, Part 2
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark shares more about the powerful "Be the Gift Challenge" he initiated during Christmas. He explores the profound parallels between Game of Thrones' iconic theme "Winter is Coming" and the challenges faced in marriages. Drawing lessons from the series, he emphasizes the inevitability of life's challenges, urging you as a man to prepare emotionally for Christmas and New Year, regardless of your marital situation. Mark advocates for the importance of a supportive brotherhood, highlighting its role in confronting internal struggles. Rejecting the idea of a single solution, he stresses the need for a focused strategy to address the root causes of pain, guiding you towards empowerment and authentic self-discovery. Episode Summary:Mark Santiago introduces the next level of his podcast empowered AF 2.0, focusing on healthy communication, lifestyle, and personal growth.Mark references Game of Thrones to emphasize the unpredictability of life and the importance of being prepared for challenges, using the theme "winter is coming" as a metaphor.Mark discusses the theme of winter coming in the series, emphasizing its apocalyptic implications.Mark compares the show's focus on winter to the way people ignore looming problems in their own lives, such as divorce or separation.Using pain to overcome obstacles in life. 4:37Mark notes that the White Walkers in Game of Thrones are relentless and overwhelming, despite efforts to defeat them with Valerian steel.A plan is ultimately successful in defeating the White Walkers, led by a brother and sister who work together to kill the king and shatter the army.Mark discusses the importance of facing pain and taking responsibility for personal growth, using the story of a linchpin to illustrate the idea that one key element can lead to significant change.Mark encourages listeners to be the gift they want to receive during the holiday season, rather than ignoring or denying problems.Coping with divorce during the holiday season. 9:29Mark acknowledges that winter (divorce) is coming for many couples, and preparation is key to being the best version of oneself.Mark encourages listeners to choose between being the "best version" or "bitch version" of themselves during the upcoming holiday season.Mark struggles with maintaining a facade of confidence and normalcy during a stressful family event, revealing their inner turmoil and emotional pain.Mark acknowledges the importance of confronting and dealing with your emotions, rather than burying them and pretending everything is fine, in order to move forward and find a positive outcome.The importance of addressing internal trauma for personal growth. 13:25Mark emphasizes the importance of a "brotherhood" in overcoming personal struggles and achieving success (14:56).A brotherhood can provide support, accountability, and the ability to "call out...
Be The Gift
Jan 23 2024
Be The Gift
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark shares the powerful "Be the Gift Challenge" he initiated during Christmas. He replays Facebook Lives where he discusses the inspiration from the movie "Jingle All the Way." Mark emphasizes the importance of fathers being present, not just with material gifts but with time, energy, and affection. He challenges you to give one new gift daily to your children and suggests that, for many, the first step is giving these gifts to yourself. Mark passionately encourages you to invest in your emotional well-being, affirming that you are worth the effort and capable of being the greatest gift to your families.Episode Summary:Gift-giving and self-care during the holidays. 0:03Mark Santiago discusses the "be the gift challenge" during Christmas, encouraging men to be present and supportive for their families.Mark shares personal stories of going through separation and divorce during Christmas, offering insights on how to navigate difficult times.Mark discusses the pressure on men to provide gifts for their children during the holiday season, citing the movie "Jingle All the Way" as inspiration.Fatherhood and Christmas gift-buying. 3:51Howard struggles with balancing work and fatherhood in "Jingle All the Way."Mark discusses how men often try to buy their children's affection during separation and divorce, using gifts as a way to make up for not being present as a father.Mark shares a personal story about a character in a movie who goes on an adventure to find a toy for his son, but ultimately realizes that the son doesn't want the toy, he wants his father's attention and presence.The importance of being present for children. 9:37Turbo Man saves his son from falling after being attacked by Sinbad's character, and the son reveals that he's been wanting a Turbo Man doll for Christmas.Turbo Man's wife is shocked to find out that her husband is actually Turbo Man, and she gives Jamie the special collector's edition Turbo Man doll.Mark emphasizes the importance of being present for children, not just giving them gifts.Mark encourages fathers to do the work of healing and being present for their kids.Mark plans to discuss practical ways to be present for children in future videos.Personal growth and relationships. 15:42Man's neglect of wife and son leads to temptation for another man.Mark emphasizes the importance of self-investment for personal growth and relationships.Being a good father and husband. 18:49Mark emphasizes the importance of being a gift to one's family, particularly as a father, and offers three ways to give without relying on...
The Real Cost Of Your Future Self With Matthew Todhunter
Jan 16 2024
The Real Cost Of Your Future Self With Matthew Todhunter
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark introduces Matthew, a regular guy who turned his life around by investing in himself through the Empowered Man program. Matthew shares his journey from a challenging divorce to financial struggles and how he chose to make an investment in personal growth. The episode emphasizes the difference between a cost and an investment, highlighting the profound impact it had on Matthew's life, leading to a new relationship and a sense of purpose. They also challenge you to see yourself as a worthy investment and to take control of your destiny.Episode Summary:Empowerment and personal growth for men. 0:03Mark Santiago introduces Matthew, a client who went through a transformation with Empowered Man.Matthew shares his personal journey and reasons for joining Empowered Man, highlighting the impact the program had on his life.Taking responsibility for personal growth after infidelity. 2:05Matthew's personal journey of self-discovery through Empowered Man coaching.Matthew reflects on his past mistakes and struggles with boundaries, financial control, and vision, and how writing down his goals and vision has given him power and direction.Matthew credits the pain of past failed relationships as a motivator for taking his personal growth more seriously and writing down his goals.Matthew acknowledges his role in the failed marriage, taking responsibility for his emotional unavailability and lack of emotional growth.Matthew emphasizes the importance of doing "deep shadow work" on one's inner child self to heal emotional wounds and become a better, more emotionally available man.Personal growth and investment. 9:37Matthew shares his experience of feeling unfulfilled and lost before discovering the Empowered Man podcast, which inspired him to tap into his internal producer and provide more than just financial support.Matthew describes how they were inspired by the podcast to recognize his potential as more than just a provider, and to prioritize his own growth and well-being.Matthew describes how they saw the loan as an investment, not a cost, despite having been bankrupt in the past.Mark highlights the difference between a cost and an investment, and how Matthew's mindset demonstrates his willingness to transform and change.Self-worth and investment in personal growth. 14:11Matthew believes they have purpose and meaning in life, and are willing to invest in themselves to achieve their goals.Mark questions whether other men see themselves as worthy investments, and notes the impact of low self-esteem on a person's ability to provide for their children.Mark expresses fear of investing in oneself due to potential divorce, highlighting the need to overcome this fear for personal growth.Matthew...
Respect And What It Looks Like
Jan 9 2024
Respect And What It Looks Like
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark discusses the core of every man's desire – respect. Drawing inspiration from the iconic song "Respect," he explores how self-respect forms the foundation for earning respect from others, especially in relationships. Mark shares personal anecdotes, emphasizing the pivotal role of boundaries, self-care, and emotional healing in garnering the respect every man craves. He also challenges you to confront your own disempowerment, urging you to take ownership, lead with conviction, and transform into an empowered man. Episode Summary:Self-respect and its impact on relationships. 0:03Mark Santiago discusses the importance of respect in relationships.Mark identifies lack of self-respect as the root cause of disrespect in relationships.Self-respect and empowerment in marriage. 3:09Mark discusses how some men don't value themselves in their marriage, leading to them not setting boundaries and allowing their partner to cheat.The importance of taking care of emotional wounds and setting boundaries to move forward in a healthy relationship.Mark argues that men are hardwired to feel respected and that disrespect can lead to disempowerment and fighting.Mark believes that men should focus on respecting themselves rather than blaming their partners for disrespect.Self-respect and empowerment in relationships. 8:11Respect yourself, act like a man, and earn respect from others.Men often act like children when they should be acting like adults, disrespecting themselves and their potential.Mark encourages men to respect themselves and take ownership of their lives to change the dynamic of disrespect and empower themselves.Personal growth and taking ownership of one's life. 11:49Lack of leadership, vision, and proactiveness can lead to disrespect in marriage.Mark emphasizes the importance of taking ownership of one's life and circumstances to overcome victim mentality and achieve personal growth.Empowerment and self-respect in relationships. 15:03Mark emphasizes the importance of self-respect and empowerment in personal growth, particularly in the context of a difficult divorce.Mark encourages others to take ownership of their actions and decisions, rather than blaming others or feeling disrespected.Mark shares his personal journey of transforming from a "disempowered" man to an "empowered" one through self-reflection, emotional healing, and taking decisive action.Mark thanks listeners for tuning in and encourages them to visit earlier episodes of the podcast and join the Empowered Man group for further support.Listen...
How To Overcome The Cycle Of Disempowerment
Jan 2 2024
How To Overcome The Cycle Of Disempowerment
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey dive deep into the cycle of disempowerment, engaging their audience by prompting them to share their experiences. They explore the impact of guilt, blame, and the tendency to fix things in relationships. They challenge conventional narratives and encourage you to take ownership of your actions, fostering personal growth and the pursuit of authentic connections.Episode Summary:Feeling disempowered and the cycle of guilt. 0:03Mark Santiago introduces the topic of empowerment and invites listeners to share their experiences with disempowerment.Joey discusses the cycle of disempowerment, including feeling stuck, overanalyzing, and hiding behind achievements.Men often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as drugs or alcohol, to deal with feelings of inadequacy and shame.Feeling guilty about not being able to fix a problem or figure out what's going on, which Joey calls "the dogma."Divorce, toxic masculinity, and personal growth. 5:49Mark shares their experience with divorce and how it affected their children, emphasizing the importance of owning one's "stuff" and creating a healthy environment for kids.Mark believes that divorce doesn't have to be destructive and that there is a path through it that can help children thrive, with the help of a supportive stepparent.Mark discusses how men are socialized to fix problems, but often end up fixing the wrong problem, leading to unhealthy patterns and relationships.Mark argues that taking ownership of one's actions and emotions is key to personal growth and healthy relationships, rather than sacrificing oneself for the sake of a marriage.Blame and responsibility in marriage conflicts. 11:04Joey acknowledges that men often blame external factors for their relationship problems, rather than taking responsibility for their own actions.The importance of taking ownership over one's marriage and personal growth.Mark emphasizes the importance of both partners wanting to work on a marriage, stating that one person cannot save a marriage alone.Mark criticizes the idea that one person can "get their spouse back" and then six months later, they're cheating again, highlighting the need for self-reflection and personal growth.Taking ownership and responsibility in relationships. 15:28Men taking ownership of their roles in failed marriages and blaming themselves for not being a "safe place" for their partners.Taking responsibility and ownership to break free from guilt, shame, and blame cycles.Men are encouraged to join the Empowered Man group for further support and knowledge on how to be an empowered man in their relationships and various aspects of life.Listen In!
Why The Guilt Cycle Keeps Men From Moving On
Dec 19 2023
Why The Guilt Cycle Keeps Men From Moving On
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey discuss the concepts of guilt, shame, and blame, urging you to move away from the cycle of misery and toward ownership. They emphasize the transformative power of taking responsibility and of choosing one's interpretation of life events. They also talk about the freedom that comes with radical accountability and the journey toward empowerment and unshakable futures.Episode Summary:Guilt and shame cycles among men. 0:03Mark Santiago introduces the next level of his podcast, Empowered AF 2.0, where he delves deeper into what it means to be an empowered man.Guests share their reasons for joining the call, including wanting to become a better man, dealing with separation, and seeking advice on how to improve their lives.Joey acknowledges the cycle of guilt, shame, and blame, recognizing the need to take responsibility and break the cycle.Taking ownership for personal growth and freedom. 4:43The importance of taking ownership and responsibility for one's life, rather than simply feeling guilty.The group discusses the concept of "bridging the gap from guilt to ownership" and how it leads to true transformation.Men struggle taking ownership due to fear of vulnerability and accountability.Men's emotional struggles and empowerment. 9:04Men often struggle with asking for help due to pride and fear of being judged as lesser men.Men's inability to ask for help can stem from a lack of self-awareness and a fear of vulnerability, leading to feelings of inadequacy and arrested development.Guilt and shame can be avoided by taking ownership and leaning into pain.Mark emphasizes the importance of taking ownership and responsibility in life, rather than blaming others or external circumstances.Mark encourages listeners to adopt an empowered mindset, where they see obstacles as opportunities for growth and development, rather than as sources of shame or blame.Taking responsibility and personal growth. 15:40Joey emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility and living from a place of leadership to achieve freedom.A man reaches out to Joey for help reapplying the discipline he learned from him, feeling stuck and unfulfilled in his current state.Taking ownership and accountability in life after divorce. 19:46Taking ownership of one's life after a divorce.Mark reflects on their divorce and how they chose to interpret it as an opportunity for growth, rather than just a negative experience.Mark encourages others to take ownership of their actions and set themselves up for a future that is unshakable.Mark shares...
Truth Vs. Lies
Dec 5 2023
Truth Vs. Lies
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey discuss the impact of personal narratives on relationships and challenge you to confront the lies you tell yourself. They share personal stories, debunk common myths, and emphasize the power of owning your truth. The episode encourages you to embrace accountability, reject societal dogmas, and embark on a transformative journey towards becoming the authentic, empowered man that you aspire to be.Episode Summary:Truth and lies in personal beliefs and practices. 0:03Empowered AF host Mark Santiago explores truth vs. lies with guests, delving into personal growth and self-discovery.Mark passes down a family tradition of cutting off both sides of a ham, but the reason is revealed to be a lie passed down through generations.How many of our beliefs and practices are rooted in unverified stories and traditions, and how important it is to question and seek the truth?Military deployment and relationship dynamics. 3:46Mark and Joey express frustration with the pattern of losing someone and then trying to get them back, only to lose them again.Mark asks the group to share their thoughts on this pattern and what they are holding onto.Mark and Joey recognize a pattern of detaching and reattaching in their relationship, indicating a need for change.Joey describes a cycle of detachment and attachment in military relationships, with a breakdown occurring after periods of time apart.Self-defeating beliefs in relationships. 8:54Joey identifies the lie as the pattern of getting stuck in a false hope, while Mark emphasizes the importance of recognizing the truth behind someone's return or absence.Lies about self-worth are repeating relationship patterns.Personal growth and relationship healing. 13:04The importance of personal growth and self-awareness in saving a marriage, rather than solely focusing on changing one's partner.Mark asserts that they are truthful and transparent in their approach, even if it means losing clients.Men need to take control of their own personal growth to save a struggling marriage, rather than relying on their partner to do the work.Personal growth and transformation after a divorce. 16:36Mark describes feeling trapped in a marriage and experiencing a turning point where they realize they need to make changes for their own happiness.Mark shares their decision to file for divorce and the emotional journey that followed, including feeling liberated and relieved.Mark and Joey acknowledge the need for change and conviction rather than relying on "band-aid" solutions.Mark emphasizes the importance...
"I Feel" Statements Vs. Accusatory Statements
Nov 28 2023
"I Feel" Statements Vs. Accusatory Statements
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey discuss the impact of accusatory statements on relationships, addressing the roots of those behaviors, and the cost of holding onto those patterns. They also explore the implications on one's identity, family dynamics, and the necessity of transforming those behaviors for personal growth and healthier relationships.Episode Summary:Weak statements in communication. 0:03Host Mark Santiago introduces the next stage of his podcast, "Empowered AF 2.0," focusing on healthy communication and personal growth.Joey shares experiences of rejection and tantrums, encouraging honesty and maturity.Dealing with rejection and self-reflection. 3:43Feeling rejected during intimacy, leading to self-reflection on the stories they tell themselves.Mark acknowledges the emotions that come with rejection and encourages listeners to explore their own stories and emotions.Joey reflects on past experiences of feeling rejected and silencing their inner critic to question if they view deep connection only through intimacy.Joey considers the possibility that rejection may lead to self-reflection and growth, rather than assuming the worst about themselves.The impact of ego and accusations in relationships. 8:39The importance of understanding and connecting with yourself before pursuing a healthy relationship with others.Mark encourages listeners to examine their own emotions and actions in relationships, rather than blaming or accusing others.Neil shares how his wife's infidelity has cost him everything - partner, self-worth, and time with his kids.Personal growth and transformation after a divorce. 13:39Neil struggles with defining a relationship with themselves before bringing it to the table, citing family problems and ownership of personal issues as major obstacles.Neil struggles with forgiveness and detaching from the outcome of a difficult situation, and fears becoming someone new.Neil identifies a lack of true ownership and clarity on the fact that the relationship has ended as the root cause of his struggles.Personal growth and identity shift. 18:55Mark emphasizes the importance of humility in personal growth, acknowledging that it takes humility to unlock growth and overcome ego.Mark encourages listeners to stop making excuses and take ownership of their lives, recognizing that real men stop making excuses and bear their crosses.Neil is struggling with self-deception and lying to himself, and recognizes the need to shift his identity to a higher standard.Mark is taking action by setting new standards for himself and seeking
Client Journey: Killing Your Ego With Sam Davis
Nov 21 2023
Client Journey: Killing Your Ego With Sam Davis
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark is joined by Sam Davis and they discuss Sam's transformative journey post-divorce. From dissecting his ego's role in the marriage to confronting his past behavior, they unearth the raw emotions and pivotal realizations. Sam's heartfelt letter to his ego becomes a beacon of hope for self-acceptance and growth. His commitment to being a better father and breaking generational patterns shines through, offering a powerful lesson in personal evolution and parental guidance.Episode Summary:Marriage, communication, and control. 0:03Host Mark Santiago introduces the next stage of his podcast, Empowered AF 2.0, focusing on healthy communication and lifestyle for men.Sam describes how his business travel and desire for control led to the end of his marriage, causing his wife to feel lonely and unhappy.Sam reflects on how his controlling behavior was a hindrance to his relationship, rather than a help, and how he wishes he could have seen his wife's perspective earlier.Personal growth and self-awareness in a post-divorce context. 4:20Sam recognizes and takes ownership of his role in failing marriage after joining empowerment group.Sam realized he was raised with toxic masculinity and was taught to suppress emotions, leading to a desire to get his ex-wife back through the program.Sam's initial motivation for joining the program was to change himself in hopes of getting his ex-wife back, but he eventually realized the importance of self-improvement and becoming a better person.Sam realized the importance of living in the moment and prioritizing his daughters, leading to increased happiness and fulfillment.Sam's shift in focus allowed him to put his daughters first and experience the rewards of doing so.Fatherhood, marriage, and emotional intelligence. 11:48Sam reflects on missed opportunities with children, now prioritizing presence in their lives.Sam shares how they've learned to live in the present and enjoy his family, rather than focusing on the future and saving money.Mark appreciates the progress Sam has made in his communication and emotional intelligence, and notes that it's opened his mind up to new realizations.Ego and marriage after a failed relationship. 15:33Ego and wounds played a significant role in the Sam's failed marriage and subsequent decision-making.Sam admits to being an "embarrassing dick" to his partner during a difficult moment, revealing his ego's defensive mechanisms.Sam reflects on his divorce and the idea that love is a fleeting emotion that can change over time, requiring work and commitment to maintain a successful marriage.Sam acknowledges that letting go of a loved one can be difficult, but it's sometimes necessary for personal growth and...
Lies Vs. Truths In Divorce
Oct 31 2023
Lies Vs. Truths In Divorce
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey dive deep into the lies men often tell themselves, especially in moments of friction and crisis. They discuss the societal pressure and social status associated with marriage and divorce within certain communities. They emphasize the importance of not using your children as emotional shields and how showing up for them is crucial. They also share personal experiences and insights on building healthier relationships with your kids post-divorce. They also challenge you to confront your own lies and uncover the truth, providing valuable guidance on how to lead yourself and your children effectively. Episode Summary:Lies men tell themselves about marriage and relationships. 0:03Mark Santiago explores the lies men tell themselves about marriage and failure.Staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of social status and saving face, rather than prioritizing his own happiness.Mark's coach challenges this mindset by pointing out that being single does not define a person's worth or masculinity, and that prioritizing one's own happiness is essential for personal growth and fulfillment.Using children as shields in divorce and moving forward. 5:04Mark credits himself with raising kids better after divorce, despite ex's mental health struggles.Mark advises men to be honest about their feelings and stop hiding behind their children in their relationships.Parenting and personal growth after divorce. 8:19Mark reflects on his divorce journey and how he prioritized their children's well-being by leveling up and showing up for themselves.Mark credits coaching and community support in developing the Empowered Man program, which addresses missing elements of masculinity and community in traditional coaching.Mark emphasizes the importance of showing up for his children, even when he's struggling personally.Father-daughter dynamics and emotional manipulation. 13:06Mark shares his experience of manipulating their daughter emotionally, recognizing the unhealthy dynamic and seeking forgiveness.Mark shares how he prioritizes his children's needs and expresses gratitude for the intentionality in building a relationship with his oldest daughter.Mark discusses their upcoming training, "The Five Dimensional Man," which focuses on balancing various aspects of life, including parenting, marriage, and personal health.Personal growth and transformation. 17:36Mark challenges listeners to challenge themselves on their goals and take action for progress.Robert Frost suggests overcoming analysis paralysis by engaging in physical activities to feel emotions and...
Client Journey: How To Shift The Narrative Of Your Life With Ray Muscat
Oct 24 2023
Client Journey: How To Shift The Narrative Of Your Life With Ray Muscat
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark is joined by Ray Muscat and they discuss Ray's transformative journey in California. Ray, a typical blue-collar worker with a chaotic life, reflects on his past behavior and how he was trapped in a cycle of stress and neglecting his own needs. However, Ray's story takes a turn when he recognizes the need for self-care and self-love, leading to a powerful transformation. He shares how the program, Empowered Man, changed his perspective on life, relationships, and gratitude. Episode Summary:Personal growth and self-improvement. 0:03Ray Muscat shares his personal journey of self-transformation and authenticity.Ray describes his pre-transformation life as chaotic and stressful, with a long commute and little time for self-care or personal passions.Ray felt completely exhausted and lost his sense of self, with hobbies and passions dying out and causing depression.Neglecting relationships due to prioritizing work. 4:34Ray's absence due to pursuit of money and material items led to devastation of his relationship with his wife.Ray acknowledges being transactional in his relationship, not being intentional or present, and regrets not having hard conversations.Recognizing the pattern of not accepting yourself or your partner, leading to a toxic dynamic.Personal growth and transformation. 8:46Ray recognized the need for change when he realized he wasn't putting in effort to improve his life and was expecting a quick fix.Fear was the catalyst to take action and make changes in life.Ray struggled with fear and paralysis in his relationship, feeling stuck between making changes and lacking the courage to act.Ray's conversation with the program facilitator helped him see the importance of transforming for himself, rather than just trying to change for his partner.Personal growth and relationship improvements. 14:10Ray reflects on his journey with Thrive, mentioning a major breakthrough in recognizing the importance of self-care and prioritizing their own emotions.Ray realized he was not showing up for his children as he thought, and was controlling and disrespectful towards them.Ray is now guiding his children with questions to help them find their own answers and show up differently in their relationships.Self-care and personal growth for men. 19:17Prioritizing self-care by dating yourself, enjoying food, and practicing meditation.Ray finds joy in simple tasks like sitting in a park, feeling the sun on his skin, and connecting with nature.Ray reflects on his transformation and the importance of joy and financial stability...
Weak Statements Vs. Power Statements
Oct 17 2023
Weak Statements Vs. Power Statements
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey discuss weak statements and the impact of poor communication in relationships. They emphasize the importance of slowing down, listening, and understanding your own emotions. They offer practical tools for improving communication and fostering emotional connection within relationships. Jerry shares his personal experience and takes the opportunity to express his feelings and self-reflection. The episode delves into the complexities of relationships, the consequences of not prioritizing one's partner, and the need for self-awareness and transformation.Episode Summary:Toxic statements and their impact on relationships. 0:03Mark Santiago introduces the topic of weak statements and shares personal experiences with them.He invites listeners to share their experiences and encourages them to use the "number one" in the chat if they've been in a similar situation.Defensiveness in relationships and its impact. 2:42Joey discusses the dangers of "weak statements" in communication, which are accusatory and defensive responses that avoid taking ownership of one's actions.Mark provides examples of weak statements, such as "You always make me feel insecure" or "You never take responsibility," and encourages listeners to be more mindful of their own emotions and communication style.Mark Speaker reflects on their childhood experiences of feeling undefended and now defending themselves in relationships, realizing the toxic ecosystem they've created.Joey recognizes the defensiveness and stonewalling in their own behavior, likening it to one of the four horsemen of Dr. John Gottman, indicating the relationship's doomsday.Emotional regulation and empathy in relationships. 8:28Participants share emotions of anxiety, sadness, anger, and feeling unheard, revealing insecurities about self-awareness and identity.The inability to sit with one's own emotions and feelings leads to pushback and resistance in relationships.The lack of emotional regulation in children can be compared to a "terror" or "gremlin" when they are hungry or upset.Emotional intelligence and communication in relationships. 12:18Mark says that not dealing with internal emotions and pain can lead to coping mechanisms like blaming others, which can harm relationships and even emotionally abuse children.Mark shares their personal experience of being emotionally abused by their father and how it has impacted their life, highlighting the importance of self-reflection and doing the "hard work" to become empowered.Improving communication in marriage by slowing down and actively listening to partner.Improving communication in relationships.
Client Journey: Living A Life Of Authenticity With Josh Marlowe
Oct 10 2023
Client Journey: Living A Life Of Authenticity With Josh Marlowe
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark is joined by Josh Marlowe and they discuss Josh's journey of personal transformation. They explore the challenges men face, such as societal expectations and the fear of vulnerability. Josh reflects on his past marriage, his journey to self-discovery, and how he learned to own his shortcomings. He emphasizes the importance of self-love and self-care for men and shares how he found a supportive brotherhood.Episode Summary:Personal growth and healing after divorce. 0:03Josh shares his story of transitioning from nervous to empowered in a Facebook group.Josh reflects on his marriage and divorce, seeking therapy and self-discovery.Personal growth and emotional intelligence. 4:03Struggling with self-blame and pride, realizing they were the common denominator in past relationships.Josh encourages the listener to face themselves in the mirror and work on personal growth.Growing up in a household where emotions were suppressed, leading to low self-esteem and difficulty forming authentic relationships.Confronting and overcoming these issues through therapy and self-reflection, allowing them to live their authentic life and form healthier relationships.Healing and personal growth for men. 10:05Dealing with inner pain and struggles through external successes.Josh found personal growth and happiness through self-awareness and self-improvement.Josh found healing insights and new perspective on father wound through Empowered Man event.Healing, growth, and self-love after divorce. 16:01Josh shares their experience of divorce and how it has affected their life, including the challenges of co-parenting with their ex-partner.Mark asks questions and provides support, highlighting the importance of communication and healing in the divorce process.Josh is on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment after going through a divorce, focusing on internal peace and happiness.Josh acknowledges the cultural shift in men prioritizing self-care and personal growth, highlighting Speaker 1's commitment to investing in themselves.Personal growth and empowerment for men. 22:39Josh shares their personal transformation journey through the program, emphasizing the importance of diving deep and doing the work for internal growth.Mark encourages listeners who are on the fence to join the program, emphasizing the focus on becoming an empowered man and rising above disempowerment.Mark shares their personal journey of healing and growth, encouraging others to do the same.Josh encourages men to find a way to better themselves, despite...
Live Q&A With Mark
Sep 26 2023
Live Q&A With Mark
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark changes the format to a Q&A style, inviting listeners to ask questions and engage in a coaching environment. He emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries in relationships, focusing on self-protection rather than trying to control others. Mark discusses various aspects of dealing with marital challenges, including co-parenting under the same roof, navigating open relationships, and coping with the pain of infidelity. He encourages listeners to lean into their emotions, grieve, and communicate openly with their partners as values evolve in a marriage.Episode Summary:Empowerment and coaching for men. 0:03Mark Santiago welcomes listeners to Empowered AF 2.0 and invites them to ask questions on various topics related to personal growth and self-improvement.Mark Santiago plans to answer questions from listeners live on the call and provide coaching, making it a fun and interactive experience for those participating.Setting boundaries in a marriage after separation. 2:36Michael emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries for oneself, rather than using them to control others.He advises against weaponizing boundaries and instead focuses on creating mutual respect and submission in a marriage.Mark: "If she doesn't want to be with you, she doesn't want to be with you. Anything you do to try to force her back is manipulation."Mark: "Boundaries are about what is okay for you, not what is okay for her. Share how behavior makes you feel, but don't control it."Mark: "If she's using pre menopause as a reason to be mean, it's not okay for her to talk to you that way. Communicate and understand her pain, but set boundaries."Communication and vulnerability in relationships. 8:16Mark encourages men to open up and communicate with vulnerability, especially in their relationships.The speaker suggests creating a "Mr. Rogers identity" for men who work in difficult jobs and need to switch to a softer persona when they come home.Co-parenting under the same roof after separation. 10:30Mark discusses struggling with co-parenting under the same roof after separation, with financial constraints and toxic dynamics causing tension.Boundaries are key in this situation, with the speaker communicating their limits and feelings to their ex-partner, while also addressing their own guilt and emotions.The speaker describes how they and their ex-partner created a co-parenting schedule to live separately in the same house, with designated days for each person to have the kids and maintain their own space.The speaker plans to have dinner separately and not be involved in family activities on their designated days to maintain their own space and avoid conflicts with their ex-partner.Personal...
Client Journey: How To Communicate Like A Boss With William Woody
Sep 19 2023
Client Journey: How To Communicate Like A Boss With William Woody
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark is joined by William and they discuss the crucial topic of effective communication and personal growth. William shares his transformative journey from realizing his communication shortcomings to embracing change and personal development. They discuss the importance of shedding ego and pride to create healthier relationships and the invaluable support of a community of like-minded men. Episode Summary:Communication and personal growth with a podcast guest. 0:03William Woody shares his insights on communication, revealing his personal definition and experiences with the topic.Mark Santiago asks William questions to delve deeper into his perspective, highlighting his wisdom and knowledge on the subject.Communication skills and relationship issues. 2:06William reflects on his upbringing and how it impacted their communication skills, particularly in empathetic listening.William shares his experience of being married twice, highlighting communication issues in both marriages and their subsequent self-reflection.The speaker reflects on their past relationship, recognizing that they were not a good communicator and often prioritized work over their partner's needs.The speaker's lack of empathy and active listening led to misunderstandings and outbursts, ultimately contributing to the breakdown of the relationship.Emotional intelligence and communication in relationships. 6:17William reflects on creating an environment that led to an affair, realizing he didn't give his partner enough emotional attention and left a gap open for someone else to fill.William emphasizes the importance of emotional awareness in relationships, acknowledging that neglect can lead to affairs and vulnerability to external influences.William reflects on his experience in the Thrive program, highlighting the importance of communication and setting boundaries.Speaker implements newfound skills in their daily life, including saying "no" to tasks that are not safe or beneficial for them or their employer.Personal growth and self-improvement. 10:58Unknown Speaker reflects on past relationships and realizes the importance of having the right friends who can provide support and guidance.William believes that joining a program like the one they are in now could have helped them save a past relationship and improve their life in various aspects.The speaker reflects on their personal growth and evolution, crediting a coaching program for helping them improve their communication skills and reach their full potential.The speaker offers advice to other men who may be facing similar challenges, encouraging them to seek out coaching and support to improve their relationships and overall well-being.Empowerment and
Navigating The Marriage Maze
Sep 12 2023
Navigating The Marriage Maze
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey discuss the complexities of navigating marriage issues and Mark's seven laws of problem-solving within a marriage context. The episode emphasizes the importance of identifying the right problems to solve, understanding that not all problems need immediate solutions, and recognizing that problems can be opportunities for growth. They also stress the significance of mindfulness and self-awareness in managing ego and handling relationship challenges. Episode Summary:Introduction. 0:03Welcome to the next level of Empowered AF 2.0, and what it means to be an empowered man in his most advanced form, healthy communication, healthy lifestyle, physically and emotionally, and evolving into the man you've always wanted to be.The seven laws of problem-solving in marriage.What you think is a problem is actually a symptom. 2:31The first thing is that not all problems need to be solved. Sometimes what you think is a problem is actually not a problem and it's a dichotomy or it's something that is not really the real problem.The more you understand that symptoms are just a symptom of a deeper problem, the better you can get at defining what a real promise for you is.Not all problems need to be solved now. 5:32Not all problems need to be solved now. Not all problems are created equal. The problem is deeper than that. It's important to optimize for the right problem.The third part of that is not all problems have to be created equal, which means that the problem may not be solved today, but it may be solved tomorrow.Not all problems are created equal, and everything is different in terms of how you interpret what a real promise is.Prompts are agnostic, which means they are just what they are.My ex-wife broke up with her boyfriend and moved across town to some guy's house and took my two kids with her to this guy's place.Not all problems need to be solved. Not all problems are created equal. Problems are just agnostic. They are problems.How to turn obstacles into opportunities. 12:02If you start seeing your problems for what they really are, you're going to start turning obstacles into opportunities.Having hopeful faking is going to be a key to release you to the next realm of where you want to go as a man.Every problem that you encounter is an opportunity to encounter who you possibly can be in the future, and your future self is waiting for you to become that man.Solving problems is a game of sequence. 14:52Solving problems is a game of sequence. Stay in sequence and solve the right problem at the right time again.The right...
Client Journey: How Ed Diffused The Power His Wife Had Over Him
Sep 5 2023
Client Journey: How Ed Diffused The Power His Wife Had Over Him
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark is joined by Ed and they share the story of how Eduardo got his name and discuss personal experiences, including disempowerment in marriage. Eduardo talks about the impact a past affair had on his self-confidence and how he learned to take control of his life. The episode highlights the importance of seeking help, the power of a supportive community, and the journey to self-discovery and spirituality.Episode Summary:Intro to Empowered AF 2.0. 0:03Mark is excited to introduce listeners to the next level of the podcast, Empowered AF 2.0, and what it means to be an empowered man in his most advanced form.Over the next six to seven weeks, Mark will be talking to some of his clients.Empowerment in marriage. 2:06A few months ago, Joey and Kate were at a hot tub event in Phoenix and a couple of the coaches asked Joey a story about himself.The next event in Nashville is in Nashville, and the next one in San Diego is in April.How she disempowered herself by putting her partner on a pedestal and always playing catch-up when she noticed it.How her significant other didn't notice anything different in the relationship.The trap men fall into with disempowerment. 6:59He became a jerk and shut down and didn't know how to communicate his feelings.He fell into the classic trap that a lot of men fall into with disempowerment, especially the pedestal thing, self-confidence. Once he got comfortable, he got complacent and became complacent, fear of losing what he hadThere is a stereotype of guys being strong and not wanting to ask for help. Women are allowed to suffer, but men are not.The effect his own dad had on his relationships.Choosing to be the strong one. 11:12He met his stepfather when he was nine and had a fear of abandonment from his biological father. He learned to man up and had three younger brothers.He learned to be an adult and to take care of his younger brothers, and learned to manipulate his partner.When Mark found out about the affair, he had no idea what to do. He blamed himself and blamed everyone around him.The five-day challenge was one of the first moments where mark realized that he needed to take his life back.What shifted to your ego? 16:19The five-day challenge was a small investment, but taking the leap was a bigger leap.The first thing that came to mind in the five day challenge was the idea that he was not here to save marriages, but to save men.When he talked to the entry and intro with the thrive program, he was caught off guard because it was like he had to apply and be ready to...
From Reaction To Resilience: Tools For Facing Life's Pains Head-On
Aug 29 2023
From Reaction To Resilience: Tools For Facing Life's Pains Head-On
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey discuss transitioning from reacting to building resilience, tackling internal pain, and confronting emotional challenges. Live listeners share their struggles with pain, uncertainty, and limbo. They delve into distinguishing between situational and internal pain, emphasizing personal growth. They explore coping mechanisms, avoidance, manipulation, and the impact of a lack of emotional nurturing. They also urge setting goals, envisioning a better future, and embodying both the warrior and poet within, encouraging men to reclaim leadership and authentic masculinity.Episode Summary:Intro to the episode. 0:03Welcome to the next level of empowered AF 2.0 and what it means to be an empowered man in his most advanced form.Internal pain vs external pain, internal pain.Situational pain. 2:14Situational pain is the situation that is causing you pain, not the situation. It's the underlying pain, the pain that is what's happening to you.Separation of a wife and divorce is a situation where you're hoping to get the reps over with, but not the growth.The three main ways that men deal with internal pain, and how they deal with the external pain.The three ways that guys deal with external pain, avoid, manipulate and complain.How do we deal with rejection? 7:31The importance of having a healthy grid for dealing with rejection and how to deal with it, and how it can make us feel like a little boy.How a reframe perspective can help us see the situation a little differently and more clearly.A lot of guys here don't have approach goals. They have avoiding goals, which is why they stay stuck in their shame cycle.Some of you have found yourself dating the same woman in a different body over the years, and it's costing you your marriage and relationship.Takeaways from the training. 12:44Ben shares his takeaways from today's training, including past relationships and dealing with the pain of losing his father at a young age.The legacy he wants to leave for his kids.The first thing is not to waste time. The second thing is to go deeper with what happy means and what it looks like for them.80% of Americans don't even set goals for themselves.How to get past the pain. 17:17Every good season will pass, and every bad season will come. The difference is how you show up each day and how you receive what's possible.Connecting with your own future.The more emotionally connected a man is to his future self, the more of a reality it becomes.The cycle of crisis all of us are living in.Crisis Crisis...
Uncovering Your Power, Part 2
Aug 22 2023
Uncovering Your Power, Part 2
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce - https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcastJoin the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! - https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcastIn this episode, Mark and Joey delve into the complex emotions of confronting betrayal and heartbreak. Sharing personal experiences, they emphasize the need to lean into feelings, not just dismiss them, as they guide you through healing wounds, identifying core pains, and stripping away layers to reveal your empowered self that transforms pain into growth.Episode Summary:How do I shake the feelings of regret? 0:03Welcome to the next level of Empowered AF 2.0, the next stage of empowered man.Danny wants to wake up one day and share regret and shame with his ex, but he can't shake the thoughts of wanting her to get back with him.How to deal with uncomfortable feelings. 2:07Dealing with uncomfortable feelings is a lifelong process. Every day, you have to pick up your shield and never forget to always bear your shield.Keep the pressure on where you are.It takes time to unravel all of this stuff. 3:48It takes time to unravel all of that stuff, and it takes time for guys to get on the other side of an affair.There is always another level to thrive.Embracing the pain and moving on. 5:37Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, and when the waves come, you need to give yourself permission to feel those waves.75% of clients have been cheated on.Accepting the pain of betrayal. 7:23Many guys get stuck in the situational pain of their wife's affair, and they don't understand the gravity of what it feels like underneath the surface.Most marriages can't be fixed because there's toxic shit that happens in them, and most with affairs.What does this say about me as a man? 9:55One of Mike's sons-to-be, tuition tuition wife, cried for three weeks straight, and it was time to cry for her.As he was coming to that place, he started to really identify with what he was actually feeling, and for him, the word abandonment.The true gift of this divorce. 12:04The true gift is opening up wounds that were there that were never healed properly before, and this marriage is an opportunity for you to go deep and unlock things that you didn't even know were inside of you.Michelangelo, who created the sistine chapel, said he stripped away everything that wasn't David.The momentous opportunity to become an empowered man.